Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
OK I am impressed. The furnaces in this building were scheduled
for replacement several years ago under a block grant but the
owners were unable to find someone to do the whole contract
including painting and vinyl siding. Seems that the majority of
small contractors are not certified for lead paint. The job was
shelved and the owners paid to have the parking lot paved and
some smaller repairs. Last week they had a contractor come over
to inspect the furnaces and they found the the chimney pipe
rusted partially where it connects to the draft hood. It was a
dinosaur and huge probably installed when Kennedy was president
They gave an estimate to the owner and this morning she
called and said both heaters were being replaced this morning.
About 1000 they stopped by for the key to the basement. Rip-out
took about an hour and they relied heavily on sledge hammers and
Sawzalls for that and installing the new furnaces and plugging the
chimney and running PVC pipe for the exhaust and combustion
air lines took about another two hours and the heat came back on.
They installed a couple of new digital thermostats and were gone by
1330. Hopefully with a 95% efficiency furnace and some weatherization
it will no longer cost 2400 a year for natural gas. It would have been
nice to have had it since November but we can't have everything.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
"MUSICAL MAGIC"
is all about sharing Music of all Genre!!!
Everyone is welcome to post their favorite Singer, Song, Midi, Music
Clip.
This is a SHARING GROUP
Share YOUR MUSIC and you can share other members music.
ALSO request Music
NON SHARERS WILL BE REMOVED.
WE DO NOT STORE ATTACHMENTS SO YOU MUST HAVE YOUR SETTINGS ON INDIVIDUAL
MAIL
AS YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GO TO THE GROUP WEBSITE TO RETRIEVE SOMETHING
YOU MAY HAVE WANTED
Remember to complete your Yahoo ID/Profile please!!!!
If the yahoo ID is not completed then you will be removed.
SORRY, NO Grouply Addys Permitted!!!!
Visit group on web at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MusicalMagic
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Chat Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
E-Mail / IM Chat Room Survival Kit
AOL~~ Assholes On Line
ASAP~~ As Soon As Possible
ASAFP~~ As Soon As Friggin Possible
AWGTHTGTTA~~ Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again
AWGTHTGTTSA~ ~ Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Shit Again
BFD~~ Big Fucking Deal
BMD~~ Buy Me Dildo
BTSOOM~~ Beats The Shit Out Of Me
BT~~ Byte This!
BTWBO~~ Be There With Bells On
CMF~~ Count My Fingers!
CTC~~ Choking The Chicken
DBEYR~~ Don't Believe Everything You Read
DHYB~~ Don't Hold Your Breath
DILDO~~ Darlin' I'll Lick De Ole
DILLIGAD~~ Do I Look Like I Give A Damn
DQYDJ~~ Don't Quit You're Day Job
DYSTSOTT~~ Did You See The Size Of That Thing
FTASB~~ Faster Than A Speeding Bullet
FUBAR~~ Fucked Up Beyond All Repair
FUBB~~ Fucked Up Beyond Belief
FYI~~ For Your Information
FYM~~ For Your Misinformation
GR&D~~ Grinning Running & Ducking
HAK~~ Hugs And Kisses
HUYA~~ Head Up Your A$$
HHOK~~ Ha Ha, Only Kidding
HHO1/2K~~ Ha Ha, Only Half Kidding
HIOOC~~ Help! I'm Out Of Coffee!
IANAC~~ I Am Not A Crook
IFABCTE~~ I Found A Bug, Call The Exterminator
IITYWTMWYKM~ ~ If I Tell You What This Means Will You Kiss Me
IITYWTMWYBMAD~ ~ If I Tell You What This Means Will You Buy Me A
Drink
IITYWTMWYLMA~ ~ If I Tell You What This Means Will You Leave Me
Alone
IIWM~~ If It Were Me
ILSHIBAMF~~ I Laughed So Hard I Broke All My Furniture
ILSHIBMS~~ I Laughed So Hard I Broke My Stitches
IMHO~~ In My Humble Opinion
IMNSHO~~ In My Not So Humble Opinion
KISS~~ Keep It Simple Stupid
LDTTWA~~ Let's Do The Time Warp Again
LOL~~ Laughing Out Loud
LSHHTCMS~~ Laughed So Hard, Had To Change My Shorts
LTIP~~ Laughing Till I Puke
MTFBWY~~ May The Force Be With You
NBFD~~ No Big Fucking Deal
NFW~~ No Fucking Way
NYCFS~~ New York City Finger Salute
OMIK~~ Open Mouth, Insert Keyboard
ONNA~~ Oh No, Not Again
ONNTA~~ Oh No Not This Again
OTOH~~ On The Other Hand
OTOOH~~ On The Other Other Hand
OTSH~~ On The Same Hand
PITA~~ Pain In The A$$
PMF~~ Pull My Finger
RTFM~~ Read The Fucking Manual (or Message)
SH~~ Shit Happens
SH2M~~ Shit Happens To Me
SOI~~ Sit On It
SOL~~ Shit Outta Luck
TAFL~~ Take A Flying Leap
TDTM~~ Talk Dirty To Me
TFASB~~ Time For A Sex Break
TIC~~ Tongue In Cheek
TISEC~~ Tongue In Someone Else's Cheek
TLA~~ Three Letter Acronym (such as this)
TM~~ Trust Me
TSR~~ Totally Stuck in RAM
TTT~~ That's The Ticket
TWHAB~~ This Won't Hurt A Bit
VI~~ Village Idiot
WDIPME~~ Where Did I Put My Excedrin
WGAFS ~~Who Gives A Flying Squat
WTHDTIM~~ What The Hell Do These Initials Mean
WTSDS~~ Where The Sun Don't Shine
WWW~~ World Wide Wait
WYSIWYG~~ What You See Is What You Get
WYSIUWYW~~ What You See Isn't Usually What You Want
YGBFK~~ You Gotta Be Fucking Kiddin'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cyber Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 Cyber Sex Tips
1. Before becoming involved in any kind of cybersex please make
sure your spouse, boyfriend, kids, etc. Are out of the room at the
time, (preferably out of the house and not during a major holiday
when your in-laws are also present or at a time when all your
relatives are in attendance.) It really gets difficult explaining
what you are doing undressing in front of the computer, drooling out
of one corner of your mouth, moaning and groaning while the buzz of
various "toys" can be heard.
2. For men, before you begin, please check that your modem
protector is on, along with the splash guard for your keyboard. It
will stop the future embarrassment of telling the computer
technician that your keys are "stuck" and you have no idea why.
3. For women, no matter what you are truly wearing, such as, sweat
pants, sweat shirt, torn bathrobe, slippers, T-shirt with stains on
the front, bloomer underwear that could cover a car or be used for a
parachute, always tell your potential cyber partner you are wearing
a thong, garter belt with black stockings, and your best wonder bra,
(the one that has everything pulled up so high your bellybutton is
under your chin), and a pair of high heels.
We don't want to destroy that myth that all women dress that way
when we sit down at the computer. Although I truly wear these
things each and every time I sit in front of my computer. It does
seem to cause a bit of a commotion at the office but I have
certainly worked my way up the ranks in the company.) As for what
the man should be wearing, we all know that they are all naked and
wearing just a smile.
4. If the cyber begins to get very hot please refrain from
straddling your monitor, there are many potential emergency room
stories to be told if you get overly excited, not to mention the
many years of therapy to get you to let go and not continue this
sordid affair with your 15" screen.
5. If the cyber is not going well, please let the other person know
in the best way you can. It is not very polite to tell them that
you are doing your nails, have just made up your grocery list for
the next month, shingled the house, pulled out one of your wisdom
teeth because you were bored, would rather read the instructions on
how to set the time on your VCR, checked your fridge to make sure
the light still works when you open the door, and last but not
least, stuck your tongue to an ice cube tray to stop the monotony.
6. When it really starts getting hot and heavy, please check your
spelling before you send that embarrassing typo, i.e., "oh baby, let
me suck on those beautiful beasts of yours. I just love your hot,
wet posse"
(kinda puts a western slant on things), hmmmm, things could get
interesting with boots and spurs though. "Oh baby, you have such a
big coke" (hope you got the super sized fries and burger with that).
"That's it baby, show me that beautiful clint" (go ahead, Make my
day), and the proverbial "oh fork me hard!"
7. Pay attention to what is going on. Please refrain from putting
your "coke" in one place, when your cyber partner had just typed
that it was someplace else. If you have no clue as to where the
cyber is going, ask to buy a vowel. If you are really lost and
can't keep up, or you had a case of premature cybering and really do
not feel like typing for 3 days to satisfy your female counterpart,
just pretend you got bumped offline. That always works and at least
she won't take it so personal. Please refrain from the excuse, "I
have to let my dog out."
8. Once both cyber partners have been satisfied, or faked
satisfaction, (oh great, we now have the added pressure of faking
cyber-orgasms too), at least say thank you. (Thank you can mean,
thank God its over, or THANK YOU because you truly had a wonderful
time.)
9. If it was a truly bad experience, do not feel pressured Into
ever having cybersex with this person again. When they ask for your
email address, just give them the wrong one. If they begin to
pester you, its proper etiquette to just bump yourself offline, or
just say "HUH? I never got your Message." Nobody needs to suffer a
really bad cyber twice.
10. Last but not least, remember that cybersex will not make you go
blind, unless you keep all the lights out in the house while having
it, watching the screen in the dark does make your eyes burn.
Realize that you may be addicted if your real life partner walks by
naked and you'd rather be typing with one hand and still trying to
keep a steady rhythm going.
Sex can be just as nice with a partner you know. And just for
variety, when your right hand gets tired, try dating your left hand
for something different.
Until your next hot session....cyber on my friends!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Weather Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young man is being pursued by a young admiring woman. Eventually,
he has no choice but to grant her a private audience.
Relentlessly she asks him for a quickie in the sack though he tried
hard to refuise her. Finally giving in to her demands for carnal
knowledge, he says "Ok, but there is one condition: I have a
particular fetish that you must perform in order to sleep with me."
"I'll do anything for you" replies the succubus. "Just name it."
So the man says to the woman, "You know ... I really enjoy it when
there's a sort of lightning effect. So you must reach over to that
switch on the wall and flick it on and off every few seconds."
The woman agrees and starts flicking the light switch off with her
left arm. She then asks "Now can I fuck you?"
"Not quite yet" replies the man. "Lightning is nice, but it doesn't
really mean much without thunder. So with your right leg, I want you
to open and close the cabinet door whenever you flick the light on."
"Ok" says the horny young maid, and she begins to coordinate her
flicks and clacks. "Now can I fuck you?" she asks as she is
switching between arm and leg movements.
"Not quite yet" replies the man. "This is all very nice, but there
can't really be thunder and lightning without wind. I'd like you to
reach behind your head with your right hand and open and shut the
windows."
She says "Ok" and begins opening the shutter and closing it with her
right hand. And of course, it's raining and some drops are coming in
the window.
So there she is, making lightning with her left hand, creating
thunder with her right leg, and using her right hand to make wind
and rain. Desperate and beyond understanding of his fetish, the
young woman finally begs him "NOW can we fuck? PLEASE?!"
And the young man looks at her shocked and says, "What do you mean
'have sex'? In this weather?"
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Eel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the
older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day
he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind
the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did.
The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.
'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned
off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I
figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking
funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside
her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except
he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble
finding her heart.
'I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them
started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must
of been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time Sis
got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide
down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I
knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.
'Finally, I found out what was making them so sick-- a big eel had
gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and
stood there, about 10 inches long, honest anyway, he grabbed it in
one hand to keep it from getting away. 'When Sis saw it, she got
really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she
started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the
biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down
at the lake.
'Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head
off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it
tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over
the eel's head to keep it from biting again. '
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor -- lock
on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel.
'The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and
squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they
wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.
'After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her
boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew
because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were
hanging out.
'Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they
went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her
again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and
started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine
lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by
sitting on it. After a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the
eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin
off and flush it down the toilet.'
His mother fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Blonde Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sally (a blonde) was seen going into the woods with
a small package and a large bird cage. She was
gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend,
Liz, never saw Sally looking so sad.
Liz, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of
days. Glad you got back okay...but you look so sad.
Why??"
Sally, "Cause I just can't get a man."
Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the
woods."
Sally, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the
woods cause I needed something there that would
get me a man. But I couldn't find it."
Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Sally, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls.
I took some dead mice and a bird cage."
Liz, "So, how's that going help you get a man?"
Sally, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to
have a good pair of hoo-ters."
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Bengy and the Zipper(Funny)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Zi.html
John w/ Calling All Irish
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_special/001/irish.htm
Carol w/TBF
http://www.carolspoetry.com/tbf.html
Jesus Clinic
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/clinic.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
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Surfin Surfari
Back Pain and Neck Pain for Spine Patients
http://www.spineuniverse.com/
Mystery Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mart.html
Attitude Is Everything 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude5.html
Deer Hunter Story - graphic
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deerhunter.html
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Webmasters Guide to SSI
http://www.webreference.com/programming/ssi/intro/
Free Website Builder
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St. Patricks Day Signatures
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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Eagle Vs Swan
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Movie Links
Sir Edmund
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81814.htm
Smoke Inhalation
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Sneeze Aivastus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81816.htm
Sorry Sir no bathing suits in the lobby
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Sorry Officer
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Exam
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Future Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9o7.htm
Glock Home Protection
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Gunfighter
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Guterbike
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungle Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three explorers were in the deepest darkest jungles of Africa, and
were captured by a pigmy tribe.
The tribe brings them before the chief, who declares that the
explorers were tracking across secret hunting grounds, and the
penalty was death.
One explorer asks the chief if they are to die, could they chose the
way they wanted to go.
After much consideration, the chief agreed.
The first explorer loved to eat, and wanted to eat himself to death.
The tribe puts him in a hut with 10,000 lbs of food, and two guards
outside the door to make sure he doesn't escape.
The second explorer loved to drink, and wanted to drink himself to
death.
Again, the tribe puts him in a hut with 10,000 gals of booze, and
two guards outside the door to make sure he doesn't escape.
The third explored loved to screw women. This took a little time,
as the tribe had to construct a large hut and collect 10,000 naked
women.
They finally got it all together, placed the explorer in the hut
with 10,000 naked women, and two guards outside the hut to make sure
he didn't escape.
Time rolled by, and about 3 months later the chief remembered that
he had to see how the punishment of the three explorers turned out.
He went to the first hut, and found the man had ate so much, he
exploded.
He had the two guards clean up the mess and dismissed them.
In the second hut, the explorer drank so much, he puked his guts
out. The chief had the two guards clean up the mess, and dismissed
them.
You'd never guess what the chief found in the third hut...
10,000 pregnant women, two guards outside the door with red asses,
and the explorer jacking off in the corner!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Painting
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Can
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Booty call
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Pantie lock
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Amazon.com
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Show Girl
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Sperm Bank
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Big Daddy
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Best Catch
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs,
"The men like to spread my two legs,
Then slip in between,
If you know what I mean,
And leave me the white of their eggs."
A salvation Lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."
A man from the Washington Post
Once had it off with a ghost;
At the height of orgasm
The pale ectoplasm
Shrieked: "Coming! I'm coming...almost!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this man who took really great care of his
body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles every day.
One morning after getting out of the shower, he looked
into the mirror to admire his body, and noticed that he
was sun tanned all over his body except for his penis.
He decided he had to do something about this.
So he went to the beach, completely undressed and
buried himself in the sand, except for his unit, which
he left sticking out.
Two little old ladies were strolling along the beach,
one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking out
of the sand, she began to move it around with her
cane, and it became erect.
"There is no justice in the world", she said. "Just look
at that!
When I was 20 I was curious about it.
When I was 30 I enjoyed it.
When I was 40 I asked for it.
When I was 50 I paid for it.
When I was 60 I prayed for it.
When I was 70 I forgot about it.
And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing
wild and I'm too old to squat!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1996
The Invention
BJ: What are you working on Katie?
Katie: I am working on a surprise for Tami.
It is sort of tofu rice banana. It looks like a
banana but has the near zero calories of those
styrofoam rice cakes things.
BJ: Yes, it looks just like a banana. Can I peel it?
Katie: Now this is for Tami, so I added something
special..so be careful.
BJ points it away from him...
BOING!!!
BJ: Wow it shoots out pretty far. Good thing the
inside doesn't weigh anything.
Katie : Sandi should be delivering it about now.
Let's turn on the TV. Sandi is wearing a camera
and we should be able to pick up the broadcast.
Click!
Ding Dong!
Tami: Oh hello Sandi (dressed as a mail carrier).
Sandi: Hello. Sign here please.
Tami: Okay....
Sandi: Thank you ma'am.
Tami goes into the house to open the package.
Katie: Good thing I put a second small camera with the
package.
Tami: A banana?
Tami: Well I am hungry guess I could eat it.
BOING!!! Thud!
Tami: Hey, who sent that thing?
Katie: LOL!!!
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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William Brabant
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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