Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
No April Fool's jokes today just your list of reasons to party
through the month of April.
April 1 is One Cent Day
April 2 is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
April 3 is Tweed Day and Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day
April 4 is Tell-A-Lie Day
April 5 is Go For Broke Day
April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day
April 7 is No Housework Day
April 8 is All Is Ours Day
April 9 is Winston Churchill Day and Name Yourself Day
April 10 is Golfers Day
April 11 is Eight-Track Tape Day
April 12 is Look Up At The Sky Day
April 13 is Blame Somebody Else Day
April 14 is National Pecan Day
April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day
April 16 is National Stress Awareness Day and National Eggs
Benedict Day
April 17 is National Cheese ball Day
April 18 is International Jugglers Day
April 19 is Garlic Day
April 20 is Look Alike Day
April 21 is Kindergarten Day
April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day
April 23 is Read Me Day and World Laboratory Animal Day
April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket Day
April 25 is National Zucchini Bread Day
April 26 is Richter Scale Day and National Pretzel Day
April 27 is Tell A Story Day
April 28 is Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss-Your-Mate Day
April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day
April 30 is National Honesty Day
Enjoy the chips and stay out of trouble.... buffalo
A newsletter you may rnjoy
Every Body needs a Stupid Joke!
Stupid Jokes (PG 18)
STUPIDJOKE-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Monday Thru Friday, The Stupidest Jokes on the Internet!
and
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Lobster Chips
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A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a
seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big
Lobster Tales, $5 each.
" Amazed at the great value, he said to the waitress, "$5 each for
lobster tails ... . . . is that correct?" "Yes", she said, "It's
our special just for today." "Well", he said, "they must be little
lobster tails." "No," she replied, "It's the really big lobster."
Are you sure they aren't green lobster tails - and a little bit
tough?" "No", she said, "it's the really big red lobster." "Big red
lobster tails, $5 each?", he said, amazed. "They must be old
lobster tails!" "No, they're definitely today's." "Today's big red
lobster tails - $5 each?", he repeated, astounded. "Yes", she
insisted.
"Well, here's my five dollars," he said, "I'll take one.
She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to
sit down.
She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder, leaned
over close to him and said, "Once upon a time there was a really big
red lobster ..."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
you're not drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g051.html
anytime
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g052.html
my mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g053.html
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Beaver Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things
are
great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?" The doctor
considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older
friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and
accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he
neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the
water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and
went 'bang,bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell
over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The
80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple
of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly".
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Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper
Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.
Order today and we'll double your order.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/ghopep
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Cheese Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A pregnant woman rushed to the hospital to give birth shocked
doctors and staff when it was revealed that what she had passed off
as a fetus for months was in fact a large block of cheese. The
woman, whom hospital administrators have refused to identify due to
confidentiality rules, has a history of mental illness, according to
medical records obtained from people close to the situation. Not
only has she been detained in the past for public disturbances, but
she has been on significant doses of anti-depressant and
anti-psychotic medications for many years. One attending doctor,
speaking on the condition that they remain anonymous, remarked that
it is not uncommon for some individuals to fake medical conditions
in order to gain attention and financial support. Using cheese to
fake a pregnancy, however, seems to be unprecedented, even among the
mentally ill. "Beyond weird," remarked the doctor. "I don't know how
one would do it, but it must take an unwordly level of self
deception to even conceive of something like this." What's more, the
woman had apparently registered herself at several stores for an
upcoming baby shower and had been regularly consulting an
obstretician by phone.
With so much contact with others, it is unclear how she was able
to keep from revealing herself for so long. According to sources
familiar with the matter, all of her neighbors believed her to be
pregnant, and had helped her pay her rent and shop for baby clothes
and furniture. Around 4 am on Thursday, after the woman was heard
complaining loudly of severe pains outside an apartment building..
Neighbors, assuming that she was in labor, took her to an emergency
room where doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they
later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound
together with twine. Residents of the apartment building refused to
comment, and the woman has been detained pending further psychiatric
evaluation.
Probably from Wisconsin, no doubt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Flowering Cherry Hedge Grow Your Own Fresh Cherries at Home
With the amazing quick growing Flowering Cherry Hedge, you'll soon be
collecting cherries by the bowlful that you can use to make delicious
pies, impressive desserts and sweet jams. Or just pick them off the bush
one at a time for a fresh, tasty snack.
Order today and we'll double your order to 4 plants.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/flcher
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Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.
Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim are already in
America.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip across the flat ones.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: What's the difference between a '90's woman and a Computer?
A: A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: How do Greeks separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks
whining.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.
Q: What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me.
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole
chicken.
Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?
A: So they know where to stop shaving.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Cuz no man would pull those faces on purpose.
Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".
Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than
improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. Why do women have tits?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Make the right move for your finances. Visit eInsuranceMarket.com today.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Computer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband and wife decided they needed to use a
code word to indicate that they wanted to have sex,
without letting their children in on the idea, so they
decided on the word "computer."
One day, the husband told his five year old daughter,
"Dear, go tell your mommy that Daddy needs to type
a letter. "
The child went into the next room and told her mom
what Daddy had said, and her mother responded,
"Honey, tell your daddy that he can't type a letter
right now because there's a red ink in the printer."
The child went back to tell her dad what her mom had
said.
A few days later, the mother told her daughter, "Honey,
go tell Daddy that he can type that letter now."
The child went into the next room and gave her dad
the message. A few moments later, she returned to
her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind
with the computer, he already wrote the letter by
hand."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meet Brewbot
The new hot beverage maker from Tassimo
ORDER THE INTRO STARTER BUNDLE AND SAVE $50!
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Now, make perfect hot beverages every time, one cup at a time
Coffee, tea, hot cocoa, espresso, cappuccino, latte, crema coffee
WHAT WILL YOU AND HE BREW NEXT?
http://buffaloschips.com/tasmo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Moonlight in Vermont
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Pop/P_4.html
See You In My Dreams
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ISeeYouInMyDreams.htm
Did You Ever Wonder Via Samantha
http://www.mamarocks.com/did_you_ever_wonder.htm
Dale Chihuly - Artist - Chronology Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/4nhqlna
Rythms Of Life Via Carol
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/rhythmsoflife.htm
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
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Surfin Surfari
Jobs That Suck!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html
Extreme Noodling!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noodling.html
There's Something About Mona!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monalisa.html
Coastal Paragliding Images. Via Samantha
http://www.paragliding-tales-and-reviews.com/coastal-paragliding.html
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Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free 80's Arcade Games
http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/80s_games/
Here's a good one.... what users mean when they call the Help
Desk:
http://video.techrepublic.com.com/2422-14075_11-267767.html
Text To Speech Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/bjnup6
Hard Drive Diagnostics - Top 5 Free Hard Drive Diagnostic Tools
http://pcsupport.about.com/od/diagnosticsoftware/tp/tophddiag.htm
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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz159861d7a78.html
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/RealTalkingDogs.htm
Koalas In A Heatwave
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/koalas.html
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Sub-Zero Giant Roses - Ever Blooming Roses, Month after Month, Summer to
Frost
Sub-Zero Roses are specially bred by America's most famous
horticulturist, Dr. Herbert Brownell, deep in the heart of New England's
snow covered mountains. These ever blooming roses flourish under the
harshest conditions imaginable - from the scorching heat to below
freezing. Sub-Zero Roses are virtually immune to all rose problems such
as black spot and leaf mold. Get big, beautiful roses month after month
with Sub-Zero Roses.
Order today and we'll double your order.
Learn More
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Movie Links
Kind Of Scary
http://www.buffaloschips.com/werww.htm
Kitchen Table
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwee.htm
Law Enforcement.. Dealing With The Public
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asasda.htm
Lil Red Riding Hood Chunk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ewqwqw.htm
Lucky Louie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/assskla.htm
The Mom Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jadljhda.htm
Tolerant Cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsksd.htm
Uncle Jay
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dskjskj.htm
Walk-in Closet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsksdjk.htm
Who Needs Pockets
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdjkjsdk.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mom was cleaning the house when she found her son's hidden stash of
S&M and sexual bondage magazines.
Naturally, she was very upset and she didn't know what to do. So,
she waited until her husband got home to discuss it with him.
After she showed him the magazines, she asked him, "Well, what are
you going to do about it?"
"I don't know what to do." he told her. "I really don't think I
should give him a spanking for this!"
One doctor tells another. "I just have to talk to some one I am so
guilt ridden." Second doctor says, "Well you can tell me I have a
lot of doctors confiding in me, maybe I can help." "Well for years
and years now I have been having sex with my patients every chance I
got and I just have to get it off my chest." "That is not too
strange a lot of doctors I know have sex with their patients,
However, I will admit not many of them are vets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
camel huge
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kvjfdlkgdf.htm
camel toe cup
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ofjhf.htm
camel toe 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdfgfd.htm
camel toe3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjlgfddfgfg.htm
came too soon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjlgfddfgfg.htm
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman, Monique,
Who proclaimed an efficient technique:
"One fuck daily's just right."
She did seven one night,
And then found that it made her hole weak.
____________________________
There once was a young man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.
____________________________
There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you'd guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No good deed goes unpunished. I had
volunteered to tar the roof on my father's
shed. I was about halfway done when I
slipped and fell flat on my face getting
black goop all over my shirt, my pants,
even my hair.
Hearing the thud, Dad looked up. "What
happened?"
I got up and began to say, "All I did was..."
when my feet shot out from under me and
I flipped into the tarry mess a second time.
"You know," Dad said dryly, "you could have
just told me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2006
The %#$@#$ Dog Run
Sandi still escapes!!!
BJ goes back into the dog run and views all the
work he has done to seal the exits.
BJ: How can she be escaping?
He notices the gate, at the bottom the chain link
is open and an area large enough for Sandi to
escape.
BJ: How can she move, bend metal wire that is
interlocked?
BJ looks around the dog run. He finds a chest and
opens it.
BJ: Aha! A welder's mask, a torch. I will remove
these and I have her trapped.
Did BJ see the suction cup shoes?
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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