Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Our thoughts are with the people of Japan who were affected by
last night's earthquake and Tsunamis. Although the death toll
was small, damage was extensive along the coast, leaving many
homeless. In Hawaii the Abraham Lincoln had just arrived for
a port visit yesterday and in anticipation of the tsunami wave
the brows were removed and mooring lines disconnected so
that she could get underway if necessary and not do damage to
the pier and ship. They only experienced a six foot surge which
is normal sailing for a carrier. I imagine the delay getting back on
board was met with mixed emotions. Those returning from a night
of playing tourist were probably looking forward to a shower and
breakfast and those on duty were waiting for reliefs and a chance
to go ashore and look around. They will both be delayed until
the ship is moored and the cranes get at least the after brow
across and even then the Navy is probably being watchful,
anticipating more aftershocks and perhaps more waves.
I was mentioning the electro-magnetic launch system being
developed for the new breed of carriers to be commissioned
starting in 2015. I got news yesterday that after a somewhat
successful test in Dec., the Navy is reworking the software for
the system. The system uses rows of linear motors to propel
the shuttle that the plane is connected to. They are currently
experiencing small lags between one motor shutting down
and the next one firing giving numerous little jerks as the plane
accelerates from 0-100 knots in a very short distance. I guess that
would be pretty uncomfortable and put some extra wear and tear
on your plane, kind of like being in a dragster that is getting only
spurts of fuel at a time.
Enjoy the chips and have a good weekend... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
Come Join Us @ 1st Class Freebies
We Strive For 100% Free Stuff & A Few Deals
With A Family-Friendly Atmosphere
http://firstclassfreebies.com
First Class Freebies (No Chat)
**Attention Group & List Owners**
Looking for new members?
Come join our Ad-Swap Group.
We accept both "Clean" & "Adult" ads.
No X Rated or porn groups/list allowed.
You choose how many ads you want to swap, from 1 to 7.
A "template" is given, to show who to swap with each week.
You can save it in your favorites...(it will change each week),
along with a separate page showing the swap members ads.
Click here to join
http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/CleanAdSwaps/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fast Brite Lens Restore
The Fastest Lens Revolution Kit Ever
Only $10 plus $7.95 S&H
Order Now
http://tinyurl.com/4s5m88y
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice for men:
5 Sexual Techniques to Make Her Wild with Desire and YOU happy till
dawn!
From a good American friend of mine who states this really does work!
Between being married a long time, and also being a woman, I can tell
you blokes that there are certain things you can do to make your wife
swoon. They aren't difficult, anyone can do them and they are some of
the most sexiest things I can think of... and I have quite the
imagination!!
So. Are you ready? Are you a real man? Wipe that drop of drool from
the corner of your mouth and read on....
Technique #1 : Wet Hands (One of the best)
Yep, it is the wet hands technique. Certainly one of the most popular
among most women of today who were recently polled for this article.
So simple. So exciting. You will leave her almost breathless.
Fill the kitchen sink up with hot water and add a few drops of a scented
dish liquid. Not too many, you don't want it to be harsh. There are
many very nice scents out now, from vanilla and lavender to grapefruit.
It is completely up to you. With a soft cloth in your hands plunge your
hands into the water and get the cloth very wet. Now, moving slowly and
gently place a dish in the water and rub the cloth Across the surface of
it.. over and over again. Place the dish
in clean rinse water and repeat until she is moaning with pleasure.
Technique #2: Vibrate Me Baby
This technique utilizes what many women think of as toys... It is a
little more difficult and takes a little more muscle, but you being a
big strong man, I know you can do it.. Extra credit on this one if you
wear a black "wife beater" shirt at the same time. Are you man enough?
Carefully pull the vacuum out of where it has been stored. You know
you want to. Plug it in and push ALL the right buttons. * Slowly move
back and forth and back and forth across the carpet, you will know when
to move to a new spot. Move to the next spot and repeat as long
as it takes to get results (I hear they are graded from A to G so keep
it mind as you work away and head for that G spot!).
Technique #3 : The Wet T Shirt Game
This game is pretty easy, although you will have to think quickly while
in the midst of gettin' your game on. If you can handle the amount of
agitation and vibration in the first few minutes you will be o. k.
until the end.
You will need two piles... no I did not say poles, I said piles. Put
everything white and light coloured in one and everything dark coloured
in the other. Fill the washing machine with warm water and
laundry soap (this is imperative... use the amount suggested by the
manufacturer). Add the light pile. Close the lid. Write her a love
letter about how great her eyes are while you are waiting for it to
finish. Repeat with the dark colors except use cold water. Quick note:
If your wife is screaming "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Don't stop what you are
doing.. that is called domesticus interruptus and it really is
frustrating for women.
Technique #4: What Goes Up Must Come Down
This is best used as the quickie, whether in the middle of the night
or during a chaotic afternoon. She can't say no to this one. When you
put the toilet seat up.... put it back down... Every time.
I know... I know.. you almost can't take any more verbal titillation.
Good thing this is a short list. This last one is amazing. It is
incredible... it definitely saves the best for last.
You don't have to thank me... no.. really. Good luck all you blokes
out there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
beware
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e031.html
wanted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e032.html
qualified
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e033.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A boy catches his mom and dad having sex. The
boy is curious and says, "What are you guys doing?"
The dad replies, "We are playing poker and your
mom is the wild card."
About an hour later the father cannot find his son.
He hears a noise in the bathroom and goes to
check it out. He finds his son jack/ng off and says,
"What in the hell are you doing?"
The boy replies, "I am playing poker."
The dad says, "How are you playing poker without
a wild card?"
"With a hand like this, who needs a wild card?!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Tomato Factory Planter
Only $10 + S&H
Grow Delicious Ripe Tomatoes at home.
Order Now
http://tinyurl.com/4qq47lk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shaking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harold
is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner,
Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his
accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders
into the garden. They begin to chat, and before you know it, several
hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and
asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"Sex," he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a
gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "But it would be nice if a woman could just hold
it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where
they would sit and talk while Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure that he was okay.
She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by
the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's
manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have
that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied...... "Parkinson's."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Microcam - Capture Any Moment Any Time
One of the world's smallest DV camcorders from Bell + Howell, a
trusted brand in photo technology for over 100 years. It's so tiny,
yet records high resolution digital video and still photos with
sound. It's super wide lens lets you capture all the action. The
micro cam is not only manually operated, but is sound and motion
activated too.
Payment plans available - order yours today.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/26ebmw8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pecker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker
were in Mexico arguing about which country had
the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker
claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker
could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge
and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no
problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the
Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that
was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently
used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker
expressed confidence that he could do it and
accepted the challenge.
The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican
woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called
'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How
is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to
peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker
was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither
was able to peck the tree in his or her own
country?
After much woodpecker pondering, they both came
to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods
was right, when he said, your pecker gets harder
when you're away from home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aluma Wallet - As Seen On TV!
The Aluminum Wallet!
Finally Fashion meets Function!
Buy 1 Get 1 FREE!
2 for Just $10.99!
Never worry about losing your valuables again!
Aluma Wallet Features:
Made of Die-Cast Aluminum Alloy
Ultra-Slim Outer Case
Waterproof to Keep your Valuables Dry
Compact Size is Great for both Men & Women
Nearly Indestructible!
Aluma Wallet is the Smart & Safe choice for both Men & Women!
Not Available in Stores an Online Exclusive!
Order Now:
http://buffaloschips.com/aluma
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vicki was still feeling a bit weak and not up to
par after her recent bout with the flu and went
to see her doctor. After a quick examination, he
said, "You look weak and exhausted! What have you
been doing? Are you getting out in the fresh air,
getting enough exercise, and having your meals 3
times a day, as I advised on your last visit?"
Vicki looked up, a bit surprised and exclaimed,
"Oh doc, I've sure been getting the first two,
but on that last one, I woulda swore you said
three males a day!"
A blonde gets carried away at a pet shop and ends
up buying over a hundred goldfish. When she gets
home she finds that there are so many of them
that the only place she can keep them is in her
bathtub.
One day she invites her friend over to see all her beautiful
goldfish.
The friend is impressed and remarks, "They surely
are beautiful, but what do you do when you want
to take a bath?"
"Oh, that's not a problem," the blonde replies, brightly, "I
blindfold them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Second Needle The Needle With The Built-In Threader
You poke, cut, squint and swear but you still can't thread that needle.
Now there's One Second Needle - the needle with the built in threader.
Use it for sewing buttons, hemming pants, mending tears, and more. It's
so simple you can thread blindfolded.
Double your offer when you order today.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/needle
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Merle Haggard
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Cn/C_M_4.html
John w/ Yes I Understand (Patsy Cline)
http://heavens-gates.com/patsy/understand/
The Magic Carousel Via Sam
http://users.iglide.net/joysinger/Cuddle/carousel.html
Johan's Noah's Ark
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noahsark.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Map of USA Puzzle
http://jimspages.com:80/States.htm
Make your own Ultimate Paper Plane
http://www.guardian.co.uk/flash/0,5860,1648976,00.html
People Of Walmart
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
Paper Mache Recipe Via Samantha
http://www.abcteach.com/babysit/joann/papermache.htm
Old West Memorbilia Via Samantha
http://www.ocyoung.com/Memorabilia.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Tutorials Via Sally
http://www.lingolinda.com/tutes/xhtmltags.html
http://www.lingolinda.com/PEG/index.html
http://key4song.lingolinda.com/intervals/index.php
Midi Files Via Samantha
http://rats2u.com/clipart/animation/midi_files.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Endangered Wolf
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolf.html
Real Eagle Story
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/WHENGODCREATEDKITTYCATS.HTML
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Amazing cucumber vine - Grow your own long, slender and crispy
giant cucumbers.
Bright green skin so thin, tender & non-bitter. Eat them fresh off the
vine or fresh sliced into salads. Arrow straight cukes in
only 50 days.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/cuke
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Hot Sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8298.htm
How I crashed my Harley
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8299.htm
How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
http://www.buffaloschips.com/82910.htm
How to get rid of a one night stand
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83101.htm
How to carry plywood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83102.htm
Love Bird
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkjhiouoi.htm
Love Hurts
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jajka.htm
Megan True Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/klkdl.htm
Men Invented Everything
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkdak.htm
Mouse
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdkoo.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aussie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Insults In Aussie
* "I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on
your shoulders."
* "Not enough brains to give 'imself a headache!"
* "About as useful as tits on a bull."
* "You must be the world's only living brain donor."
* "He's a few wanks short of an orgasm."
* "She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard."
* "He had a head on him like a sucked mango."
* "May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny
down."
* "He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."
* "So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him
'til the bell rang!"
* "Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."
* "Pull your lip over your head and swallow!"
* "As ugly as a hat full of arseholes."
* "If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave
it's arse and make it walk backwards."
* "Got a face like a bashed in shit can."
* "Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground."
* "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse."
* "Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist
full of fifties."
* "About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-
kicking competition."
* "I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!"
* "A stubbie short of a six pack." "Seen better
heads in a piss trough."
* "You're as handy as shit on a stick." "Tighter
than a fish's arse."
* "So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit
him."
* "Face like a smashed crab."
* "As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."
* "He could talk a dog off a meatwagon."
* "F**ked in the head."
* "You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie."
* "He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door."
* "Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast."
* "Your face is like a twisted ugg boot."
* "He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a
thistle."
* "She's been hit with the ugly stick too many
times."
* "She's two pick handles wide."
* "An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."
* "As ugly as a bag of spanners."
* "You've got a head like a dropped pie."
* "He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts
give him away."
* "I wish his dad had settled for a blow job."
* "Fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch
on the way down."
* "Your the load your mother should have swallowed"
* "If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."
* "Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with
an armful of deck chairs."
* "As thick as two short planks!"
* "You got a head like a busted watermelon"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Boss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280505.htm
Bad Milk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280506.htm
Cards
http://www.buffaloschips.com/020280507.htm
Stripper Strike
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280508.htm
Billy's Plan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280509.htm
Coke Job
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280510.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing Pillow Helps Correct Your Sleep Posture
The SideSleeper Pro Pillow was developed by a chiropractor and
designed to give you the proper support while you sleep for a better
nights rest. With an improved sleep posture you will wake up with
less stiffness and feel more refreshed. The SideSleeper Pro comes
complete with a 30-day money back guarantee.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/sidesl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We know cunnilingus is grand,
But what I cannot understand,
Who was the first guy,
To give it a try...?
I think we should give him a hand!
______________________________
Tim Had Traveled To Peru
In Search Of The Ultimate Screw.
When His Trip Was Complete,
He Zipped Up His Meat
And Said To The Ladies, ''Thank You!''
______________________________
This beautiful harlot from Lubies,
Won fame for possessing two rubies.
It's not big red stones,
That makes her so known,
It's the nipples on mountainous boobies!
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We believe
that everyone should be free to get out and explore the world, even if
theyre on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
wheelchair at little to no cost*? Its true! There are no claim forms
to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
http://buffaloschips.com/hoved
Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
no-obligation information kit with DVD. Once again, there are no costs
to qualify. Dont wait to regain your mobility and your freedom ACT NOW
because life in a Hoveround is BETTER ALL AROUND.
Sincerely,
Thomas E. Kruse
President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 Online Lies
10. "I'm in this private room consoling a depressed friend".
9. "You're different...........I've never felt like this
about someone I've never met before."
8. "I'm new online and haven't had time to create a
profile...............but tell me more about yourself."
7. "I never do cybersex!! Yet here in this room alone
with you, well I'm getting excited"
6. "Yes of course I'm female............"
5. "No this is my only screen name....You mean you can
have more then one?"
4. "I'm 5'4, blonde hair, blue eyes and guys love my body!"
Male version is "I'm 6'0, great tan, and buffed from working out"
3. "I'm not like most of the guy's here, I just want to meet
so we can just have coffee and get to know each other" (at
the hotel coffee shop)
2. "I don't care what you look like, it's whats on the inside
that counts" (Which is true,except it means "I'm horny and could
care less, just type")
1. "Tonight my love...........our souls have touched.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1993
The Dog Run.... The Final Solution
Diana comes for a weekend visit to Guthrie and brings Rudy and Val.
All four dogs go to the dog run as BJ and Diana are going to see their
grandson in a musical in his college.
Sandi: It's okay guys, I know a way out. Follow me.
A minute later...
Sandi: Whoa! Dad put up something new here.
Rudy: Looks like concrete blocks a bunch of them.
Val: Looks too heavy to move.
Sandi: Now I am sad.
Katie: Come on it isn't that bad. We have the four of us.
Sandi: The point is,,we are trapped.
Rudy: Look Sandi, Katie was arrested. You have been arrested
once. This is for our own good.
Sandi: I am deeply offended.
Rudy: Well three of us don't mind.
Sandi: I have a plan.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment