Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We had a visitor this morning. Eva got up and opened the window
to her bedroom and a bird flew in. Buffy woke up and her screaming
woke me up. I only caught a glimpse and I think it was a barn swallow.
although it did seem a little big for that. The cats were ecstatic
sitting
outside the bedroom watching it fly back and forth waiting for it to
land
and be munched on. Buffy finally got the door open and it zipped out
the door but Buffy was acting like it was a killer pterodactyl.
Now I am really confused. The cable provider or the government
seems to have added more tests of the Emergency Alert System
but there is no tone or anything like there used to be. It just goes
directly to CSPAN 2 and shows you a few minutes of Congress
in action but it never says whether there is an emergency like a
hurricane or nuclear attack or if the emergency is that Congress
is doing something like maybe trying to come up with a budget or
if it is only a test.
One more thing that I am curious about is whether the Nobel Prize
committee is going to ask for the President's award back for attacking
Libya. If they don't I think they should give George two of them for
attacking Iraq and Afghanistan.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
Comps & Tags Galore
New group Opening 2-18-2011
Want to Join the best Group Ever? NO Drama!
No Disclaimers! No Fuss! ~Just Have Tons OF fun~
sending and stocking up on your favorite
Tags and Comps Anytime~No Ratings~just swapping
and trading whenever we want! You May Be
suprised at how much you'll get
I would like to Join Send email to
j0j0sgraphics72@aol.com <j0j0sgraphics72@aol.com>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Super Wave Oven All In One Cooker
New from The Sharper Image, the Super Wave Oven combines halogen,
convection, and infrared heat technology to cook foods up to three times
quicker in every way possible. It can broil, bake, barbecue, roast,
grill, steam, dehydrate, and fry. You can cook from frozen with no need
to defrost. And even with all these cooking possibilities, it uses less
energy than conventional ovens. Plus, the Super Wave Oven is self
cleaning so clean up is a breeze.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/4em47h8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheep Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why Sheep Are Better Than Women
1. Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth.
2. You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear.
3. Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather.
4. Cottonmouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease.
5. Nuttin' beats mutton.
6. Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel.
7. Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke,
and then tell you they have to be home early.
8. Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down.
9. Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off
when you tell them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
never complain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g017.html
thanks pal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g018.html
taking pictures
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g019.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Armless Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to
the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking
care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going
to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks
Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure
I'll help you."
The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?"
Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?"
Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK."
Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mould and red bumps, with
hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful.
Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him.
Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up. The guy tells
Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"
The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt, and says "I don't know, but
I ain't touching it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robo Stir - automatically stirs as you cook!
The Robo Stir is the new way to make kitchen work quick and easy. Its
the tool that lets you stir your food without actually having to stir.
The water resistant Robo Stir, with its specially designed legs, allow
it to cover every area of your pot or pan, so food is stirred
thoroughly.
Buy the Robo Stir today for just $10 and receive a second Robo Stir
free, plus a bonus Scoop and Stir (just pay additional shipping and
handling).
http://tinyurl.com/6bm9p6t
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elephant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass"
The doctors says "drop your pants, bend over and let me have a
look".
"Fuck me!!" says the doctor "what could have made a hole as big as
that?"
Patient replies "I've been fucked by an elephant".
The doctor says "An elephants penis is long and thin, this hole is
enormous".
Patient replies "He fingered me first".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fast Brite Lens Restore
The Fastest Lens Revolution Kit Ever
Only $10 plus $7.95 S&H
Order Now
http://tinyurl.com/4s5m88y
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Engine Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 1912, the world famous Austrian gynecologist, Dr. Hermann Otto
Kloepneckler, M.D., Ph.D., published the following:
"The best engine in the world is the vagina.
It can be started with one finger.
It is self-lubricating.
It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking
temperamental."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Tomato Factory Planter
Only $10 + S&H
Grow Delicious Ripe Tomatoes at home.
Order Now
http://tinyurl.com/4qq47lk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, when Little Johnny was about 6 years
old, he and his father went to look at some
puppies. When he came home, he ran up to his mom
and informed her that there were four puppies. 3
were boys and 1 was a girl.
His mother was impressed and asked Little Johnny
how he knew this. "Well," says Little Johnny "The
girl was brown colored, but all the boys were
black."
"Yes, dear, but how did the color tell you if
they were male or female?" asked his mother.
Exasperated, Little Johnny retorted, "The color
doesn't tell you, stupid, the black ones had
cocks."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Microcam - Capture Any Moment Any Time
One of the world's smallest DV camcorders from Bell + Howell, a
trusted brand in photo technology for over 100 years. It's so tiny,
yet records high resolution digital video and still photos with
sound. It's super wide lens lets you capture all the action. The
micro cam is not only manually operated, but is sound and motion
activated too.
Payment plans available - order yours today.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/26ebmw8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I Should Have Known
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp2/IShould.html
John w/ Ain't
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_oefh/762/aint.htm
Sisters By Love Via Carol
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/sistersbylove.htm
Discouraged
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Discouraged.htm
It Takes Two!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/two.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
R.I.P Elizabeth Taylor
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/12517000/ns/today-entertainment/
10,000 Birds Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/7sdjrz
Ring of Tatters - 19th Century Tatting Via Samantha
http://www.ringoftatters.org.uk/heritage/tatting19/tatting19.html
Photos of the Month Page Via Samantha
http://www.ejphoto.com/photos_of_the_month_page.htm
Luxury Golf Carts!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfcarts.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
What are those new Verification Blocks?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captcha
Bandwidth Hogs
http://www.iht.com:80/articles/2007/03/14/technology/btny.php
Download Firefox 4.0
http://download.cnet.com/mozilla-firefox/?TSA
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://workingdogs.com/
Kitty Korner
http://www.absolutelycats.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Giant Sunflower Mat Grow Hundreds Of Sunflowers in Your Backyard
Grow hundreds of sunflowers in just days. The Giant Sunflower Mat is
simple to use - just unroll the pre-seeded mat, water and watch the
sunflowers grow. They bloom non-stop from summer to frost and come in
dazzling yellows, sunset oranges, and pale 'moonbeam' lemons. Order
today and get a second mat on us for only $10.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/4zbfup5
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Alan King Survived By
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kaslslk.htm
Don't Look Away When I'm Talking To You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjakka.htm
Durex Funny Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sajkasjask.htm
Elevator Candid Camera
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sajka.htm
Every Man's Dream
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sajkaka.htm
Idiot 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/756i6t.htm
Idiot 4
http://www.buffaloschips.com/i67u.htm
Idiot 5
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jh67i6.htm
Idiot 6
http://www.buffaloschips.com/u567.htm
Joe Cook Veteran
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32423r.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soccer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Their marriage had been shaky. He was looking shifty and she was
sulking. They were washing the dishes. She was washing, he was
drying. She handed him a saucer and it broke as he dropped it on the
floor.
"Why don't you admit it!", she shouted. "Tell me, where do you go on
Tuesday and Thursday nights?"
The husband looked embarrassed blushed. "Nowhere much", he said.
"You liar" she said "You're playing football for Wests Tigers! I
demand an explanation," she shouted.
Still looking embarrassed, the husband said "I'm going down to the
local massage parlour for some extra sex and excitement. I'm having
sex with prostitutes for money, and that's all. Then I come home."
"You're a liar!", screamed the wife. "You are secretly playing
football for Wests Tigers! You're going to practice during the week
playing on Saturday afternoons, aren't you?"
"No! No!", protested the husband. I just go for a bit of extra sex!
I'm just looking for a stray piece of crumpet down at the singles
bar or getting it on with one of the whores."
"Do you swear you're not playing football for Wests Tigers?", she
demanded.
I swear I'm not. I'm just spending $200 or $300 a week on
professional sex", he continued.
Sobbing with relief, she threw herself into his arms and kissed him.
"Forgive me", she said, "I'm sorry I didn't trust you.--
They continued washing the dishes. She handed him a cup and it
slipped from his fingers and smashed on the floor.
"You dirty bloody liar!", she screamed, "You ARE playing for Wests
Tigers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bushy now
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mbncmbgdflg.htm
big butt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/bjhjkljggh.htm
buttercup
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjgggjdmgkh.htm
butter penis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ngbvxc.htm
butthead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kxjfdkgjflc.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There lived a saintly girl from Sleepy Hollow
Who entertained the numerous men of the Wallow
When asked by Ichabod Crane:
Have you a place I might drain?
No Thanks, she replied "I don't Swallow."
A lubricious young woman named Gwen
Had never learned how to say "when!"
So she did it again
And again and again
And again and again and again.
______________________________
There lives an old geezer named Jay
Who knows he could die any day.
If he draws up a will,
In his kin he'll instill
Just one thought: It's a dead giveaway.
(Kirk Miller)
______________________________
A daredevil skater named Lowe
Leaps barrels arranged in the snow
But is proudest of doing
Some incredible screwing,
Since he's jumped 13 girls in a row!
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed asks his ten year-old son if he knows about
the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!"
the child said, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asked his son what was
wrong.
"Oh dad," he sobbed, "at age six I got the 'there's
no Santa' speech.
At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter bunny'
speech.
Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no tooth
fairy' speech!
If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't
really have sex, I've got nothing left to live for!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2002
Backwards Day
BJ: Good morning Katie.
Katie: Oh, and a bad morning to you dad.
Sandi: May this be the worst day of your life dad.
Rudy: May everything go wrong for you today Pops.
Val: May fortune run away and hide from you dad.
BJ: What's all this about?
Sandi: Today is opposite day. We day the opposite of
what we mean.
BJ: Oh, then may you all have a bad day then.
Rudy: Thanks!
Diana: Good morning!
BJ: May you have a rotten day.
Slap!!!
Rudy: You probably need to explain to her first what
today is before talking to her pops.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment