Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Rather than make you wait till later for your chips, I went to the
archives for the intro today.
My Heart's at Sea Forever
Long ago I was a Sailor.
I sailed the Ocean blue.
I knew the bars in Singapore...
The coastline of Peru.
I knew well the sting of salt spray,
The taste of Spanish wine,
The beauty of the Orient...
Yes, all these things were mine.
But I wear a different hat now,
A tie and jacket too.
My sailing days were long ago...
with that life I am through.
But somewhere deep inside of me...
The sailor lives there still.
He longs to go to sea again,
But knows he never will.
My love, my life, is here at home,
and I will leave here never.
Though mind and body stay ashore...
My heart's at sea forever.
Buffalo says this was written by a man who refers to himself as A.
Sailor .. I feel our paths have crossed before in fact our
membership dates in the Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club and also 32nd St.
Naval Station in San Diego coincide. Excuse me while I daydream
about long ago and far away for awhile... buffalo
A newsletter I really enjoy
The Asylm
Chaos in Uniform
The name says it all!! Witty stories about the navy, marines, army and
more..
Brought to you each Thursday, by Freddy.
This is a free adult ezine, and loads of fun.
To subscribe, send a blank email to:
TA_Chaos-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Hell Chips
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Welcome To Hell!
"Hello, nice to see you all again!
As the more perceptive of you have probably realized by now - this
is hell, and I am the Devil's right hand person. Good evening. You
can call me Toby or 665, if you like. We try to keep things informal
down here, as well as infernal. Now, you're all here for eternity,
which I hardly need tell you is a hell of a long time, so you get to
know everyone pretty well by the end, but for now I'll have to split
you up into groups.
Are there any questions?
No, I'm afraid we don't have any toilets, if you'd read your bible
you would have seen that it was damnation without relief. So, I'm
afraid if you didn't go before you came then you're not going to
enjoy yourself very much, but then, I believe that's the general
idea.
Right, let's split you up then.
Can you all hear me?
CAN YOU HEAR ME AT THE RACK?
Off we go...
Murderers, over here. Looters and pillagers - over there please,
thieves if you could join them, and all lawyers, and politicians.
Fornicators, if you could step forward - My God there are a lot of
you. Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Adulterers
if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine
there.
AMERICANS, are you here? I'm sorry about this, apparently God had
some problems with your founding fathers and damned the entire race
into perpetuity. He sends particular condolences to the Mormons and
Baptists who He realizes put in a lot of wasted work. The Iranians,
I'm afraid, couldn't be with us - someone's been holding them in
purgatory for the last 9 months. Sodomites, over there against the
wall. Atheists, over here please. You must be feeling like a right
bunch of know-it-all's
All Christians will be seperated from all Born Again Christians to
avoid long boring arguements about who's more Christian.....
......ah yes, I'm afraid the Jews had it right after all.
Moonies, maniacs, marite eaters, male models, masochists, mass
murderers and masseurs, if you could take a pew at the back - -with
the Methodists that is.
Now, you're the bunch who used to kill whales, is that right? Ah,
yes, I must remember - we've got some strips of flesh to tear off
you later.
Everyone who saw Monty Pythons' "Life Of Brian", I'm afraid He can't
take a joke after all.
All right now, one final thing - we're trying to implement some sort
of exchange scheme with the God, or Bob as we know him. Some of you
will spend a decade in heaven and we're having some angels down
here. Now, I hardly need tell you that they will be expected to
behave in an exemplary manner, so, I hope you will do the exact
opposite - tear off their wings, use their haloes for frisbee
practice, that sort of thing.
MTV, rap and heavy metal music will be played for eternity, and salt
and brimstone is free.
Well, I have to go now, but Beelzebub here will show you the ropes,
chains, and electrodes."
........And remember our motto, " Until Hell Freezes Over ".
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
updating
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e061.html
the Hell's Angels
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e062.html
Fear not!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e063.html
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Short Chips
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A man asked his friend, "How's your wife doing?"
The friend said, "Not too well. She hasn't been feeling herself
lately. But it was a damned dirty habit anyway."
~~~~
"What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement Bernice?
said her closest friend.
"Well," Bernice confirmed,
"Although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left
a lot to be desired."
~~~~~
Two mothers were talking about a third one who had just given birth
to triplets. "You know, that only happens one in twelve-thousand
times?" said the one. "Amazing! How did she ever find time to do any
housework?"
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Nun Chips
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There were these three nuns and they were tired of being good all of
the time, so they went to the priest and asked if they could be bad
for one day. He said that they could do one thing wrong but they had
to come straight back and tell him what they did.
The first nun comes back, and the priest asked, "And what did you do
wrong, Sister?"
"I spiked the fruit punch at the bingo ."
"Very well, go drink holy water."
The Second nun comes back shortly afterwards.
"And what did you do wrong, Sister?" he asks again.
"I mooned a monk, and nearly gave him a heart attack."
"Very well, go drink holy water."
Just then the third nun comes up to the priest and again he asks,
"And what did you do wrong, Sister?"
"I peed in the holy water."
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Little Johnny Chips
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A well-dressed business man was walking down the street when Little
Johnny, covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell
me the time?"
The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket,
removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It
is a quarter to three, young man."
"Thanks," said Johnny. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my
ass."
With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the
outraged businessman started chasing him. He has not been running
long when an old friend stopped him. "Why are you running like this
at your age?" asked the friend.
Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said,
"That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was
quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his
ass!"
"So what's your hurry?" said the friend. "You still have ten
minutes."
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Subliminal Chips
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Subliminal Suggestions Warning!
Hi, I'm (your name here). I'd like to (sex) tell you about some
weird psychological phenomenon (fuck me) that has been in the media
forefront (I'm your love slave) in the past few years. I'm talking
about subliminal suggestion.
Subliminal suggestion (buy me a car) is a technique in which the
subconscious is made aware of a concept by having it exposed (and a
stereo) to them too fast or in a way the conscious mind can pick
(you want me) up. Thus, the person so suggested (my room ... 8
tonight) finds himself doing something that he ordinarily wouldn't
do (bring grapes and Crisco).
This technique was often seen being used (I'll get the tequila) in
movie theatres, where one frame of a film would have a message like
"Buy the popcorn." (and the condoms). This one frame goes by so fast
the conscious mind can't possibly assimilate it (I am incredibly
flexible), but many believe that the subconscious picks it up and
causes the mind (I really want
you) to act on it.
Does it really (all night is not out of the question) work?
Who knows ... (and we can bring the stuffed animals and the Jello
and the peanut butter and the nylon rope and watch "Three Stooges"
reruns and do things that they'll have to invent new names for when
we're done and then we can sleep for a couple hours and do it all
again). The jury is still out on that one.
Thanks for your time and patience
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Cookin' featuring Chef Jimmy!
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Chef/C_A.html
John w/ A Pets Ten Commandments
http://heavensgates.us/solos/pet/
Morning Coffee Via Samantha
http://www.terrisfp1.com/domtoons3/coffee.html
Places
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/places.htm
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
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Surfin Surfari
How Airport Security Works
http://travel.howstuffworks.com/airport-security.htm
Amazing Bike Car
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bikecar.html
Grand Canyon Skywalk
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skywalk.html
"The 1940s" It advances automatically.
http://oldfortyfives.com/decadeofthe1940s.html
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Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
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After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free Fonts and Dingbats
http://www.urbanfonts.com/
Free Wi-Fi Info Via Sally
http://www.openwifispots.com/
Constant Calendar Via Samantha
http://www.wtv-zone.com/bootsnana/animate/calendar_clock.html
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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
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Press here if you are interested:
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All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
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Animal World
Pet Rat Info
http://www.petrat.info/
Animal Moms
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalmoms.html
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Movie Links
Talking Italian
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81829.htm
Tattoo Remover
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81830.htm
Rocking Horse Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81831.htm
063
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8291.htm
Blind Man Levis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8292.htm
How to get jail time for a speeding ticket
http://www.buffaloschips.com/65r7.htm
Hrbtno
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ujyg687.htm
Ice fishing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkljlkjo.htm
If my nose was running money
http://www.buffaloschips.com/huyu.htm
Important Message
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkjhjgh.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Following a successful rally, the evangelist was relaxing in his
trailer, when there was a knock at the door. "Come in," he said. A
young maiden, truly beautiful, threw herself at his feet and said,
"Reverend, I have nothing to give but my body." The preacher looked
skyward, "Lord, deliver me from temptation." And then following a
long pause, he began unbuttoning his shirt, and added, "In about an
hour or so."
Myrddin was not too skilled in the ways of meeting women, so his
friends suggested that he go to a local disco where he might be able
to meet some. When he got there, he didn't see any ladies he could
dance with. He started looking around the place further, and he
found a door marked LADIES, and when he opened it, sure enough,
there they were!
Sally runs crying into the office. "What's wrong?" gasps her best
friend Carol. "It's my boyfriend," gushes Sally, "He was working on
the engine of his car when the hood came down and cut off his
finger!"
"My God," shrieks Carol, "did it amputate his whole finger?" "No
thank goodness," sniffs Sally, "but it was the one right next to
it!"
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Huge Enemys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30843.htm
He Likes you
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30844.htm
Did it hurt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30845.htm
Herbert
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30846.htm
Be Polite
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30847.htm
Hillbilly
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30848.htm
Burning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm
Hold your Load
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30850.htm
Sports Finger
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32801.htm
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ode to the Clit
----------------------------------------------------------
------------
You try so hard to lick me well,
There's something I should really tell,
You're licking all around my mound,
But there's one place where pleasure's found.
It's not that high or down that low,
It's not that fast and not too slow,
Don't waste my time and all that spit,
Just stay your punk ass on my clit!
With your finger or with your tongue,
Stay on that clit till the job is done.
Suck it like a little dick,
The only place that you should lick,
Do not move until I cum,
The other stuff is really dumb.
I'm telling you to help you know,
The clit's the ONLY place to go.
This is a tip for giving head,
You'll be an expert in the bed.
Women want all men to know,
Do it hard and do it slow.
Don't be lazy, this takes a while,
But it will always make her smile!
After she cums then you can Fuck,
And with a little bit of luck,
Your woman will be thrilled in bed,
You've finally learned to give good head!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
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A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to
spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on together with a short skirt
and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs enough times that her
husband finally asks
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s" she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God. I thought you were sitting on the cat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1994
Sandi's Solution
The weekend is nearing end. BJ is packing Diana's car.
Finally he gets Val and puts her in Diana's car. Then he
get's Rudy and puts him in Diana's car. Then to his
surprise, Sandi jumps into Diana's car.
BJ: Sandi, what are you doing in Diana's car?
Sandi: Going home with Mom.
BJ: Why?
Sandi: Don't want to be fenced up.
BJ: You will be fenced up in Caldwell.
Sandi: I will be fenced up in Caldwell with Rudy and Val.
BJ: So I guess...goodbye and see you this weekend.
Sandi: Sorry daddy. I will miss you.
BJ turns and walks to the house as Diana heads to her
car.
Diana: Is that Sandi in my car?
BJ: Yes, she wants to go home with you.
Diana: That's odd.
BJ: Yes, but it might be only a week or more.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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