Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
March is such a boring month and up till the time I received this it
looked like St. Patrick"s Day was the only day to go out and party.
Now you have 31 reasons to go out and make a fool of yourself, like
I need a reason.
Bizarre Holidays In March
March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day
March 2 is Old Stuff Day
March 3 is I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and
National Anthem Day
March 4 is Holy Experiment Day
March 5 is Multiple Personalities Day
March 6 is National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
March 8 is Be Nasty Day
March 9 is Panic Day
March 10 is Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day
March 11 is Johnny Appleseed Day and Worship of Tools Day
March 12 is Alfred Hitchcock Day
March 13 is Jewel Day
March 14 is National potato Chip Day
March 15 is Buzzard's Day and Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
March 16 is Everything You Do Is Right Day
March 17 is Submarine Day
March 18 is Supreme Sacrifice Day
March 19 is poultry Day
March 20 is Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions
Day
March 21 is Fragrance Day
March 22 is National Goof-off Day
March 23 is National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip
and Dip Day
March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day
March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and Spinach Festival Day
March 27 is National "Joe" Day
March 28 is Something On A Stick Day
March 29 is Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day
March 30 is I Am In Control Day
March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell
Day
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
Friends Luvin' Each Other
We are a group of online friends who have come together to enjoy each
other's company. We offer nonjudgmental support, help and advice where
we can share laughter and tears, appreciate each other for who we are
and just take pleasure in our time together. We post freebies, poetry
stories, jokes, graphics and whatever else strikes our fancies and we
have some pretty interesting conversations too.
We come from all walks of life and several generations!
Please join us and let's be friends!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Friendsluvineachother/
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Monk Chips
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The Top Songs on the Benedictine Monks' New CD
20. Hey, Hey We're the Monks
19. (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
18. I'm Too Sexy For This Robe...
17. Cyronus Achus Breakus
16. Ain't Misbehavin'
15. What's a Vow Of Chastity Got To Do With It?
14. Red, Red Wine
13. Celibate! Celibate! Dance to the Music!
12. Shock the Monk, heh?
11. Give Peace a Chant
10. Hand Jive
9. 50 Ways to Leave Your Monastery
8. Born to be Mild
7. Oh, Sherry
6. Don't Stand So Close To Me
5. Beat It
4. Can't Touch That!
3. I Write the Psalms
2. Smells Like (Holy Spirit)
1. Light My Friar
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
best man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c026.html
well in hand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c027.html
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Golf Chips
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There once was a lawyer who was so fanatical about his
golf game that he used to play every day without fail. One
morning he had played the first hole and was just about to
tee off on the second, when he saw the most gorgeous
woman he had ever seen putting on the first.
The lawyer waited until the woman had reached the second
tee and asked if she would like to join him and they could
finish the round together. To his surprise the woman agreed
and they played the remaining holes. Not only was this woman
beautiful, she was also a good golfer.
When they completed their round, the lawyer told the woman that,
not only was he a lawyer, but he was also a cordon bleu chef and
wine buff. He invited her back to his place for a meal and a few
drinks. The woman accepted enthusiastically and off they went.
Back at the house the lawyer cooked a magnificent meal. In fact it
was more than just cooking it was a performance to behold.
They enjoyed good food, good wine and good conversation.
After the meal, the woman repaid the lawyer with the best oral sex
he had ever experienced. The lawyer was so taken by the beauty
and skill of this woman and desired her no end. He then asked if
she would like to play golf the following morning, to which she
agreed. Once again they enjoyed a great game of golf, a magnificent
evening meal and once more the woman performed sensational
oral sex on the lawyer.
This went on for three weeks when the lawyer finally said to
the woman, "Listen, the golf and the company have been
fantastic! But, there are only so many performances a man
can take. When are we going to have sexual intercourse?"
"We can't," said the woman. "Why not?" came the reply.
"Because I'm a transvestite" replied the woman.
"YOU BITCH!" screamed the lawyer, "...I CAN'T BELIEVE that
you've been playing off the LADIES TEE FOR THE
LAST THREE WEEKS!"
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Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We believe
that everyone should be free to get out and explore the world, even if
theyre on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
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Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
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Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
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because life in a Hoveround is BETTER ALL AROUND.
Sincerely,
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President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
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Short Chips
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Running late for a job interview at a large men's fashion company, I
grabbed a white dress shirt that I didn't have time to iron. The
interview went well -- until the end.
"Just a word of advice," said my interviewer.
"You might want to iron your shirt before your next job interview."
I held up the back of my shirt collar, revealing the tag. On it was
the
name of that very clothing company and the words "wrinkle-free."
I got the job.
------------------
I was going away for a few days and left my husband a list of
chores.
For fun, I put down as Item 5: Think about your wife a lot.
After I returned, my husband proudly reported that he had completed
every job. When I saw the list, however, each item except No. 5 had
been crossed off.
"What's this!" I exclaimed. "Didn't you think about me at all while
I was gone?"
My chagrin vanished when he replied cheerfully. . .
"Hon... I started to, but just never finished."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Touch Max The All-In-One Personal Trimmer
The Micro Touch Max is a compact trimmer with a built in light for easy
hair removal. Designed to trim as close as a blade, yet its safe to the
touch. The built in light makes it easy to always see what youre doing,
even in a dimly lit room, and makes it perfect for on the go.
Order now and you'll get the Micro Touch Max and as a bonus we'll also
include the 10 piece grooming kit so you always look your best.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
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Flying Chips
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A friend of mine, a retired pilot, sent me the following anecdotes
from his student pilot days:
I had an acquaintance who got all the way through flight training
although he had one really bad eye. The drill was: doctor gives you
a little "paddle" and says, "Cover one eye and read the lowest line
you can on that chart." So he takes the "blinder" in his left hand
and covers his left (bad) eye and reads the 20/20 line. Doc says,
"O.K., Now cover the other eye and do it." So the guy switches the
paddle to his right hand and covers his left eye and reads the 20/15
line. "Very good," the doc says and they move on to the next exam.
Worked every time!
In primary training we had several small, outlying grass fields
where we would go to practice touch-and-go landings when on solo
flights --
they had no control tower nor any personnel there -- just a
wind-sock.
One guy stupidly landed at one of these fields with his landing gear
still up. When he slid to a stop in a cloud of flying clover and
dust he climbed out at first, but then got back in the cockpit and
on the still-working radio transmitted on 121.5 (the "guard"
frequency, which would be heard by dozens of planes aloft and the
home tower), "Mayday!
Mayday! Mayday! This is Saufley two-one-two. My engine has quit."
After waiting a little while he transmitted, "Mayday! Mayday!
Mayday!
Saufley two-one-two, I think I can make it to Williams Field." Then
a bit later, "Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Saufley two-one-two, I
can't quite make it to Williams, I'll try leaving the gear up to
stretch the glide." Then he got out, threw a bit of dirt in the
magneto, and sat on the wing until the rescue squad arrived in a
fire truck to pick up this "heroic"
student pilot who had dead-sticked it in with an engine failure!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indoor Banana Tree - Grow Your Own Delicious Bananas
Bananas are the perfect ingredient for cereal, pancakes, muffins and
bread. Five times the vitamin A, five times the iron, 3 times the
phosphorus and lots of potassium.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/bana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
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I went into our local bookstore and saw this huge display with a
sign saying "Newly translated from the original French: 37 mating
positions." Noticing that the books were already wrapped in plain
brown paper, I just had to buy one. Once safely at home I opened
it, out of sight of my wife, and found that I had just purchased an
expensive book about Chess.
A painter's joke may be off-color while a cook's might be tasteless.
A beautiful young feminist insisted on attending the local church in
a see through blouse. The priest saw her approaching and protested,
"I'm afraid you can't enter the church dressed like that" "But I
have a divine right " persisted the woman, "A divine left too " said
the priest, but you still can't come in.
Wet Dream: A snorgasm.
A sight-seeing bus travelling from San Francisco to Muir Woods
National Monument wound around many hairpin curves. After
successfully negotiating a particularly sharp curve, the bus driver
pulled over to the side of the road. "Well, this is a new twist,"
he said, surveying his wide-eyed passengers. "I'm taking a load of
petrified tourists to see a living forest!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing Pillow Helps Correct Your Sleep Posture
The SideSleeper Pro Pillow was developed by a chiropractor and
designed to give you the proper support while you sleep for a better
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complete with a 30-day money back guarantee.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music 5
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_RC/50_B.html
Special Father
http://www.carolspoetry.com/afather.html
Where Could I Go But To The Lord~Elvis Presley Via Samantha
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com./elvis/wherecouldigotolord.html
STRETCHING FOR THE LORD
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/stretching.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
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Surfin Surfari
Baumaschinen Kalender via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/275xtvp
Tollund Man Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/dcdrtg
blow-up weapons Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/295n6o4
Limos In History
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/limos.html
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Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Google Fiber for Communities: Think big with a gig
http://www.google.com/appserve/fiberrfi
The.Matrix-ASCII
http://onyx.chattanoogastate.edu/~jack/matrix/
Help For WEBTV Users - All You Need To Know!Via Samantha
http://rats2u.com/clipart/vault/clipart_webtv.htm
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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.cirr.com/~gensie/critters/dogs.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.siamese-kittens.com/
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Amazing cucumber vine - Grow your own long, slender and crispy
giant cucumbers.
Bright green skin so thin, tender & non-bitter. Eat them fresh off the
vine or fresh sliced into salads. Arrow straight cukes in
only 50 days.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/cuke
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Movie Links
Centrum Silver
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1227.htm
Chicks Playing Pool
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1228.htm
Chokes On You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1229.htm
Christmas Songs The O.J. Way
http://www.buffaloschips.com/12210.htm
Church
http://www.buffaloschips.com/12211.htm
Dad Blanket
http://www.buffaloschips.com/12gh.htm
Cleveland
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsd.htm
Close a Bag without using a baggie tie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjhg.htm
Dean Martin & John Wayne
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kdjd.htm
Dean martin & George Gobel
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdhg.htm
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best secretary in the world to have is the one that never misses
a period.
Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a
church.
Tom in deep thoughts is sitting calm, very quiet. Jerry asks, "What
is wrong with you, Tom?" "Please don't ask." "I am your childhood
friend. Talk to me." "My seven year old son made my secretary
pregnant." "That's not possible." "No, he did." "How's that
possible?" "He punctured my condoms!"
The gay burglar couldn't blow the safe, so he went down on the
elevator.
One day an old farmer fell asleep in the top level in a 2 level hay
shed. When he woke up, he found his son having sex with his
girlfriend on the bottom level of the hay shed. He decided he
wouldn't disturb them, so he laid down and rested. After a while he
heard his son say, "Father, father up above. Give me strength for
one last shove." So the father, being smart, replied, "Son, son down
below. Get off and give your father a go."
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Toon Chips
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Goldielocks
http://www.buffaloschips.com/afghji.htm
Fizzy Piss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a8uj.htm
Wonder Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aiou8y.htm
Mustache Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aygt6.htm
Pussy Six Pack
http://www.buffaloschips.com/au8h76.htm
Six Shots
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajuh7.htm
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young girl named Sapphire,
Who succumbed to her lover's desire,
She said: "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
__________________________________
There was a young girl from Wick
Who said "mother what is a dick" ?
She said "my dear Annie"
It goes in your fanny
& jumps up and down till its sick
__________________________________
There was a young girl who begat
Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat.
T'was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding
When she found there's no tit for Tat.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day.
So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road..
She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
Out of the trunk jump two men in trench coats who
walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing
oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and
exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers..
Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of
this highway occurs.
It's not very long before a police car shows up.
The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of
the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the hell is going
on here?"
"My car broke down," says the lady, calmly..
"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the
road?!" asks the cop.
And she said....
"Oh... Those are my emergency flashers!"
Randy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1988 Sandi, The Dog Run and BJ's Problem
The problem...
I have a nice doggie run but Sandi keeps escaping. I think her
chubbiness would not allow her to go over so I think it must be under.
I walked around the fence and did not see where she could have gone
under it. We have concrete under the fence bottom. So last night
before dark, I put her in the dog run, closed the gate and called her.
She just sat there and grinned at me as if to say 'I have a secret.'
So I went into the dog run and asked her "Where do you get out?" She
trotted over to the far east and the north corner of the fence and bent
down and pawed at the fence and pointed with her snout. I said, "Okay,
Let's leave this dog run." I opened the gate and she left. I walked
over and sure enough there was enough space for her to crawl under the
fence. Where the fence is anchored to the house, the bottom of the
fence is loose. So I took a metal rod and temporarily fixed the bottom.
Tonight I will hammer the rod into the ground, renail the nail that
holds the fence to the side of the house and Sandi will again will a
resident of the dog run. But she is smart, she understood my question
and gave me an answer. Or perhaps she realized my problem.
The Herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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