Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I guess the first mess in the kitchen was mine. I did breakfast
this morning and although I was careful to keep the place neat
but when I finished cooking eggs, I left the burner on about
a notch. Sandy came out later to do the dishes and set a Pyrex
dish down on the burner just to help clear the sink out. The
cooking dish exploded just like those darn eggs did and it
took awhile to get all of the glass picked up. I thought Pyrex
was supposed to be heat resistant because test tubes etc.
are but I have rethought that now and will no longer use
direct heat.
If you would like me to recreate some of my various cooking
disasters, including the flaming turkey, invite me over for dinner
some time and make sure your homeowners insurance is
paid up.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
A couple of newsletters you may enjoy
Eating-Pointed-Recipes
Welcome to Eating Pointed Recipes.
This Group is for anyone who are on Diets and count PointsCalories etc.
We only have a few requirements:
1-Do not sign up unless unless your age is listed in your Profile.
2-Do not post a recipe without Calorie Value or Points.
3-The only recipes that can be posted without Point Value are WW Core.
So please relaxsit back and enjoy.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Eating-Pointed-Recipes
and
*** JustForFunForYou..Adult Humor***
FUNNERS (ADULT HUMOR)
Come Play With Us!
Sometimes We Play Naughty!
Sometimes We Play Nice!
But We Do Have FUN!
Adult-Humor from G (oh yeah) to X (oh my)!
Come Join Our FUN!
We have something for everyone!
Our mail runs 6000+ per month so choose Digests
if u don't want mail to clog or
Indidvidual if u want to see attachments.
If you are 18 or older, come on in, get comfy and
enjoy the FUN!!
* JustForFunForYou-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
* http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JustForFunForYou
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
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Now you can grow your own cucumbers at home with The Cucumber Vine!
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http://buffaloschips.com/cuvine
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Little Johnny Chips
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One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if
they could name some things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?".
"How about a lollipop!" said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little
Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The
teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"
Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, I
heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
too much
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g066.html
interrupting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g067.html
menopause
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g068.html
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Hinckley Chips
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You might recall that John Hinckley was the seriously deranged young
man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was
absolutely obsessed with move star jodie Foster, extremely jealous,
and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to
make himself well known to her, he attempted to asassinate President
Reagan. There is speculation Hinckley might soon be released as
having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the
following letter from John McCain that the staff at the mental
facility treating Hinckley reports to have intercepted this past
weekend:
To: John Hinckley
From: John McCain
My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how
pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your
recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and
forgiveness, we want you to know there is a non-partisan consensus
of compassion and forgiveness throughout. My wife Cindy and I want
you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting
President Reagan.
We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could
have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident you
will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join
the world again as a healthy and productive young man.
Best Wishes,
John and Cindy McCain
PS: While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging
Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. Just thought you
should know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper
Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.
Order today and we'll double your order.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/ghopep
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Cookie Chips
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In the beginning there was the Void, and you couldn't find a decent
bloody beer, or for that matter, anything else decent anywhere. Then
God spake, saying unto the Cosmos "I want a decent bloody biscuit!" And
chocolate chip bickies appeared.
God tasted them and they were chewy and fatty and rich - and God saw
that they were good.
Then God looked forth for someone to tell how good the bloody beaut
bickies were, but there was Void, and fuck-all else, so God created a
place, and called it "Here."
And then, probably because he was bored shitless, God caused to appear a
man, right here, and called him "You." Then God spake, "Hey You, try one
of these bloody beaut bickies, they're great!"
"You" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and raved as to the goodness
thereof. Then "You" looked for someone else to tell about the wondrous
bloody beaut bickies of chocolate chip, but there was no one but him and
God, and God already knew of them.
So "You" spake unto God, beseeching, "Who can I tell about these bloody
beaut bickies?"
With this in mind, God created woman, and called her "Wowza," for her
form was exceedingly fair to look upon. "You" then spake unto her and
said, "Wowza, you bloody well have to try one of these bloody beaut
bickies!"
"Wowza" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and said "Yeah well,
they're OK." Then she hid herself from "You" and God, and ate the entire
box of bloody beaut bickies As a result God waxed wrathful and spake,
"You! Where are my bloody beaut bickies?"
"You" turned and cried, "Wowza! the bitch - She fucken gutzed the whole
box!"
For this God sent forth a curse of biblical proportion called
"cellulite" and smote "Wowza" horrendously on each of her hips, causing
"You" to look upon her and go "Fuck me! What a fat bitch"
Then Satan, He of rice cakes and Iceberg lettuce set, did appear and
sent to "Wowza" a divorce lawyer to comfort her in her grief.
And thus did "Here" become a place of bedevilment and God quoth, "Next
time, I'll send out for pizza, and I'll be buggered if I am telling
anyone, including "You"
Thus, it is written ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Flowering Cherry Hedge Grow Your Own Fresh Cherries at Home
With the amazing quick growing Flowering Cherry Hedge, you'll soon be
collecting cherries by the bowlful that you can use to make delicious
pies, impressive desserts and sweet jams. Or just pick them off the bush
one at a time for a fresh, tasty snack.
Order today and we'll double your order to 4 plants.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/flcher
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parrot Chips
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This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager
if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed the
guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000 words
and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."
?
The guy bought the bird and took it home.
?
Next day, the guy was back in the pet store to complain. The bird hadn't
said a word.
?
The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a few of
the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and put it in
his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his surroundings and
loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took them home to the
bird.
?
Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?" asked
the manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick." The credit
card was whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was back home with
his new birdbath.
?
And, like clockwork, two days later the guy was back to complain that
the bird STILL hadn't said one word. This time the shop owner scratched
his head and said, "You know, sometimes the bird would be praised in his
training and allowed to ring this bell." The guy was hesitant, but he
really wanted to hear the bird talk, so he reluctantly purchased the
bell.
?
Two days later, the guy was back in the shop. This time the pet shop
owner suggested the bird was lonely. The guy was upset that he'd have to
purchase ANOTHER bird when the first one wasn't talking. The pet shop
owner told him that, no, he wouldn't have to do that. Just buy a mirror
and trick the bird into thinking he had company.
?
You guessed. Two days later, the man was back in the store, this time
with the parrot. The parrot was dead.
?
"What happened! Didn't the bird ever talk?" asked the pet store owner.
?
"Yep. Right before he died it said, 'Don't they sell any fucking
birdseed at that pet store?'"
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feeling Pinched by a Tightening Economy?
A visit to eInsuranceMarket.com for quotes on auto insurance is a
proactive step toward improving your finances. The insurance market is
volatile and rates are constantly changing. If you haven't shopped
around in awhile, you might be paying too much.
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eInsuranceMarket.com can connect you with quotes from up to four
insurance agents that will work hard to save you money on auto
insurance. Most people that use eInsuranceMarket are able to save up to
$65 a month -- that's over $800 a year!
Make the right move for your finances. Visit eInsuranceMarket.com today.
http://buffaloschips.com/einsur
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cookout Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last Fourth of July we invited all the family over for a big
barbecue. Dad was roasting a chicken on a grill but the electric
motor on the rotisserie quit working so Dad had to crank the spit by
hand.
He did a good job too as the chicken was turning a beautiful golden
brown all over, even though Dad was a little concerned that the
running juices were causing some the flames to spark occasionally and
singe the chicken a bit as he turned it.
It was about that time that Old Aunt Mabel whose eyesight was long
gone, and who wasn't quite as sharp as she used to be, shuffled over
to the grill. She observed Dad's actions for a moment and then said,
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but not only is your music
box not making any music, but your monkey's on fire."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Super Wave Oven All In One Cooker
New from The Sharper Image, the Super Wave Oven combines halogen,
convection, and infrared heat technology to cook foods up to three times
quicker in every way possible. It can broil, bake, barbecue, roast,
grill, steam, dehydrate, and fry. You can cook from frozen with no need
to defrost. And even with all these cooking possibilities, it uses less
energy than conventional ovens. Plus, the Super Wave Oven is self
cleaning so clean up is a breeze.
Learn More
http://tinyurl.com/4em47h8
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Runaway
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_RC/50_C.html
John w/ The Secret
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_classics/019/secret.htm
Old Photographs Via Carol
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/oldphotographs.htm
Marlene/You raised Me Up/Gospel page
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html1/YouRaisedMeUp.html
Sweet Little Pad
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/homepad.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
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Surfin Surfari
Underwater Bowling Via Kent
http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/full/ap/3040935/graphic1.swf
All About Alcatraz
http://www.alcatrazhistory.com/mainpg.htm
Timezone Check
http://www.timezonecheck.com/
Strange Tombstones
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tombstones.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Wiki Press
http://pediapress.com/
Train laying its own tracks
Http://www.wimp.com/traintrack/
People Of Influence Painting
http://cliptank.com/PeopleofInfluencePainting.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsbite.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/HOLYCAT.HTML
Cat In a Box
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Sub-Zero Giant Roses - Ever Blooming Roses, Month after Month, Summer to
Frost
Sub-Zero Roses are specially bred by America's most famous
horticulturist, Dr. Herbert Brownell, deep in the heart of New England's
snow covered mountains. These ever blooming roses flourish under the
harshest conditions imaginable - from the scorching heat to below
freezing. Sub-Zero Roses are virtually immune to all rose problems such
as black spot and leaf mold. Get big, beautiful roses month after month
with Sub-Zero Roses.
Order today and we'll double your order.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/subro
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Movie Links
Jamacos
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsdw.htm
Just Walk It ff Sissy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfssd.htm
The Vasectomy Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssss.htm
Kangaroo Court
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsssaw.htm
Kilted Scotsman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsdd.htm
Robbery
http://www.buffaloschips.com/alkqwoie.htm
Roll Over Donner Pass
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdskdjs.htm
Russian Bar Trio
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkldkl.htm
Snow Plow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/laksaoiw.htm
The 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/salksalka.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Banking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As a result of recent regulations prohibiting certain types of
account fees, banks are finding new ways to make money from their
customers. Here are some of the hidden charges now being applied:
Wells Fargo - $10 to speak to a human teller, $20 to speak to a
computer.
Chase - $2 fee if Chase Rewards debit card is placed next to a debit
card from a competing bank
Citibank - Customers who think Citibank has a 'y' in its name are
penalized, monthly, on an increasing scale
Bank of America - Safe deposit boxes now on coin-operated timers
HSBC
Bank USA - HSBC gets 10 percent cut of all birthday money
TD Bank - $1 for stopping in any TD branch location to warm up while
out walking on a cold day
Regions Bank - $10 Felix-the-Cat-opt-out charge will be admin-
istered to anyone choosing a check design not featuring silent-
film-era cartoon character Felix the Cat
SunTrust - $1.75 High Roller fee applied when card is used at
locations other than CVS
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
call ahead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/flbjhclgvnbvn.htm
call girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khdjkgdf.htm
call the paramedic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kxgjkxcvgc.htm
calorie1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vgkjdfkgjdfg.htm
camel toe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jcbkfcgbfd.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meet Brewbot
The new hot beverage maker from Tassimo
ORDER THE INTRO STARTER BUNDLE AND SAVE $50!
http://buffaloschips.com/tasmo
Now, make perfect hot beverages every time, one cup at a time
Coffee, tea, hot cocoa, espresso, cappuccino, latte, crema coffee
WHAT WILL YOU AND HE BREW NEXT?
http://buffaloschips.com/tasmo
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a girl from the chorus
Whose virtue was said to be porous
She started by candling
And ended by handling
The whole clientele of a whorehouse.
A hard-working waitress named Cora
Discovered that drummers adore a
Titty that's ripe
And a c*nt that is tripe --
Now she doesn't work hard any more-a.
A lady named Belle da C*nt Corrigan
Was the mistress of J. Pierpont Morigan,
Till she handed the banker
A hell of a chancre
And now she is just a plain whore again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fast Brite Lens Restore
The Fastest Lens Revolution Kit Ever
Only $10 plus $7.95 S&H
Order Now
http://tinyurl.com/4s5m88y
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three friends are sitting around their favorite pub.
The first guy says "Hey guys, I know this other bar
where you go in and every third drink that you
order, you get the next one free. On top of that,
about 1/4 of the time I go in there, I get 'lucky' "
The second guy says, "That's nothing! I know this
bar where you get every other drink on the house,
and I get lucky there about 1/2 the times that I go
in."
The third guy, unimpressed, says, "Hell, I've got you
both beat. I know of a place where you get every
drink on the house and you get 'lucky' EVERY time
you go in."
The other two say, "WOW! Where is it?"
The third guy responds with a sigh, "I don't know,
my wife won't tell me."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2004
The Dog Run
BJ: So Rudy had a fridge, a small grill.
Katie: So he could cook his burgers, had to have
his burgers.
BJ: A stove..
Katie: To cook pizzas with. Sandi loved that one.
BJ: A dishwasher..
Katie: He could not be bothered with doing the dishes.
BJ: A freezer?
Katie: He stored food for a rainy day. When you guys
went on a long shopping trip. We all had extra meals.
BJ: Microwave?
Katie: Sometimes cooking was too slow and a microwave
often was too slow and he wanted something even faster.
BJ: Sigh
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant