[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 


THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

 

if you haven't got a smile on
your face and laughter in your
heart, then you are just
a sour old fart


GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The other day an article on the net caught my
eye, the subject of which was technoledgy. The
gist of it was on whether some technical gadgets
were worth saving and using, or if they should be
tossed away in favor of memories of yesteryear, I
was quite surprised, the author did not even mention
8 track players or record players. My own 8 track has
not worked since 1992 when it ate a copy of Alice
Cooper's "School's out". Now, the record player, that is
another story, I've had that thing now since high
school, and it still spins 33s like a charm. Altho
I admit, ten years ago when the needle went bad, it
took some doing to get another needle. And all those
records, still have about every one I ever bought,
displayed in one of those old fashioned entertainment
centers that reach across the entire wall
of my living room. You remember those?
we used them when we all had analogs.
Anyway, the author lost my interest when he started talking
about ipods and smart phones being stuff that would be not
worth keeping types of technoledgy. I have yet to get either
one of them, as I have never seen a need in my life for either one.
As I so informed my son. I had to chuckle. I remember a
similar conversation with my own father the day I bought my
8 track player :) "Dad, I GOTTA have one, everybody else does!"

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

 

___________

THE COMICS

inflation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h001.html

come and get it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h002.html

a dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h003.html

like father like son
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h004.html

excuse
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h005.html

________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

horn prank gone bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/976.html

why airplanes have pillows
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/977.html
_____________

POWER POINT DISPLAY

Definition  of forgetting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd659.html


A woman and her ten year-old son were riding
in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the
prostitutes were standing under the awnings. 
"Mom" said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off
work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says,
"Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth?
They're hookers, boy!  They have sex with men
for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he
says, "Is that true Mom?" His mother, glaring hard
at the driver, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks,
"Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"
"Most of them become taxi drivers," she said.
________________

There once was a religious young woman who went to
Confession.  Upon entering the confessional, she said,
'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made
mad passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said,
'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'
______________

Pat was lying on his deathbed, moaning and carrying on.
"Mike," he says, "I know I'm a goner."
"Oh, Paddy, have faith, ye still have years ahead UV yuh."
"No, Mick, I'm finished, an' you've been such a great
friend; there's one thing I'd like yuh to do when I'm gone."
"Ahh, Paddy, I'll do anything you ask, I swear
it to the Saints and the Holy Mother."
"Well, Dear Friend, I have been saving a jug of fine
whiskey that my brother sent me from Dublin some eight
years ago, and I would like you to pour it on me grave
when I'm buried." Mike sits silently for a long time
and Pat asks again, "Will you do that for yer oldest friend, Mike?"
Mike draws a big breath and says, "Ye know I will Pat,
but would ye mind if I filter it through me kidneys first?"
_____________

You've heard the tale of Robin Hood
And how he did poor people good
There is more to this famous story
of Sherwood Forest's pride and glory
At night when all the robbing was done
The merry men would have some fun
In fact it would be fair to say
The merry men were rather gay
As Little John starts to unwind
Robin takes him from behind
As they frolic in the grass
Robin rams it up his arse
One night when they were all at play
A gorgeous maiden came their way
She sauntered up to Friar Tuck
And said "I'm Marion - wanna fuck?"
Friar could not believe his ears
"She's offering sex to all us queers!"
While he recovered from the shock
Robin presented her with his cock
Marion's clothes were off in a flash
And three merry men all had a bash
For Marion this was sheer bliss
As they filler her every orifice
When all was done she gave a whine
"Thank you boys for a lovely time.
But for your pleasure you must pay
I've got the pox - have a nice day."
"Now listen here" said Friar Tuck
"We really don't give a fuck"
"The laughs on you, you silly cow"
"We've all got AIDS - so who's fucked now!"

BUFFALO BILL

Kind Of Scary
http://www.buffaloschips.com/werww.htm

Kitchen Table
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwee.htm

Law Enforcement.. Dealing With The Public
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asasda.htm
_____________

FUN PAGES

Camel's Eye Lids
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42399&s=n

Dolphins Mating
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42386&s=n

The Pam Effect
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42481&s=n

Drunk Ants
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39822&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 

 

 



__._,_.___


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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 3-31-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

No April Fool's jokes today just your list of reasons to party
through the month of April.

April 1 is One Cent Day

April 2 is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

April 3 is Tweed Day and Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day

April 4 is Tell-A-Lie Day

April 5 is Go For Broke Day

April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day

April 7 is No Housework Day

April 8 is All Is Ours Day

April 9 is Winston Churchill Day and Name Yourself Day

April 10 is Golfers Day

April 11 is Eight-Track Tape Day

April 12 is Look Up At The Sky Day

April 13 is Blame Somebody Else Day

April 14 is National Pecan Day

April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day

April 16 is National Stress Awareness Day and National Eggs
Benedict Day

April 17 is National Cheese ball Day

April 18 is International Jugglers Day

April 19 is Garlic Day

April 20 is Look Alike Day

April 21 is Kindergarten Day

April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day

April 23 is Read Me Day and World Laboratory Animal Day

April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket Day

April 25 is National Zucchini Bread Day

April 26 is Richter Scale Day and National Pretzel Day

April 27 is Tell A Story Day

April 28 is Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss-Your-Mate Day

April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day

April 30 is National Honesty Day

Enjoy the chips and stay out of trouble.... buffalo

A newsletter you may rnjoy

Every Body needs a Stupid Joke!
Stupid Jokes (PG 18)
STUPIDJOKE-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Monday Thru Friday, The Stupidest Jokes on the Internet!

and

**Attention Group & List Owners**
Looking for new members?
Come join our Ad-Swap Group.
We accept both "Clean" & "Adult" ads.
No X Rated or porn groups/list allowed.
You choose how many ads you want to swap, from 1 to 7.
A "template" is given, to show who to swap with each week.
You can save it in your favorites...(it will change each week),
along with a separate page showing the swap members ads.

Click here to join
http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/CleanAdSwaps/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lobster Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a
seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big
Lobster Tales, $5 each.

" Amazed at the great value, he said to the waitress, "$5 each for
lobster tails ... . . . is that correct?" "Yes", she said, "It's
our special just for today." "Well", he said, "they must be little
lobster tails." "No," she replied, "It's the really big lobster."
Are you sure they aren't green lobster tails - and a little bit
tough?" "No", she said, "it's the really big red lobster." "Big red
lobster tails, $5 each?", he said, amazed. "They must be old
lobster tails!" "No, they're definitely today's." "Today's big red
lobster tails - $5 each?", he repeated, astounded. "Yes", she
insisted.
"Well, here's my five dollars," he said, "I'll take one.

She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to
sit down.
She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder, leaned
over close to him and said, "Once upon a time there was a really big
red lobster ..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

you're not drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g051.html

anytime
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g052.html

my mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g053.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beaver Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things
are
great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?" The doctor
considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older
friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and
accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he
neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the
water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and
went 'bang,bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell
over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The
80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple
of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper

Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.

Order today and we'll double your order.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/ghopep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A pregnant woman rushed to the hospital to give birth shocked
doctors and staff when it was revealed that what she had passed off
as a fetus for months was in fact a large block of cheese. The
woman, whom hospital administrators have refused to identify due to
confidentiality rules, has a history of mental illness, according to
medical records obtained from people close to the situation. Not
only has she been detained in the past for public disturbances, but
she has been on significant doses of anti-depressant and
anti-psychotic medications for many years. One attending doctor,
speaking on the condition that they remain anonymous, remarked that
it is not uncommon for some individuals to fake medical conditions
in order to gain attention and financial support. Using cheese to
fake a pregnancy, however, seems to be unprecedented, even among the
mentally ill. "Beyond weird," remarked the doctor. "I don't know how
one would do it, but it must take an unwordly level of self
deception to even conceive of something like this." What's more, the
woman had apparently registered herself at several stores for an
upcoming baby shower and had been regularly consulting an
obstretician by phone.
With so much contact with others, it is unclear how she was able
to keep from revealing herself for so long. According to sources
familiar with the matter, all of her neighbors believed her to be
pregnant, and had helped her pay her rent and shop for baby clothes
and furniture. Around 4 am on Thursday, after the woman was heard
complaining loudly of severe pains outside an apartment building..
Neighbors, assuming that she was in labor, took her to an emergency
room where doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they
later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound
together with twine. Residents of the apartment building refused to
comment, and the woman has been detained pending further psychiatric
evaluation.

Probably from Wisconsin, no doubt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Flowering Cherry Hedge Grow Your Own Fresh Cherries at Home

With the amazing quick growing Flowering Cherry Hedge, you'll soon be
collecting cherries by the bowlful that you can use to make delicious
pies, impressive desserts and sweet jams. Or just pick them off the bush
one at a time for a fresh, tasty snack.

Order today and we'll double your order to 4 plants.

Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/flcher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.

Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim are already in
America.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip across the flat ones.

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: What's the difference between a '90's woman and a Computer?
A: A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: How do Greeks separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks
whining.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

Q: What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me.

Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole
chicken.

Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?
A: So they know where to stop shaving.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Cuz no man would pull those faces on purpose.

Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".

Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than
improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.

Q. Why do women have tits?
A. So men will talk to them.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling Pinched by a Tightening Economy?

A visit to eInsuranceMarket.com for quotes on auto insurance is a
proactive step toward improving your finances. The insurance market is
volatile and rates are constantly changing. If you haven't shopped
around in awhile, you might be paying too much.
http://buffaloschips.com/einsur

eInsuranceMarket.com can connect you with quotes from up to four
insurance agents that will work hard to save you money on auto
insurance. Most people that use eInsuranceMarket are able to save up to
$65 a month -- that's over $800 a year!

Make the right move for your finances. Visit eInsuranceMarket.com today.

http://buffaloschips.com/einsur

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Computer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A husband and wife decided they needed to use a
code word to indicate that they wanted to have sex,
without letting their children in on the idea, so they
decided on the word "computer."

One day, the husband told his five year old daughter,
"Dear, go tell your mommy that Daddy needs to type
a letter. "

The child went into the next room and told her mom
what Daddy had said, and her mother responded,
"Honey, tell your daddy that he can't type a letter
right now because there's a red ink in the printer."

The child went back to tell her dad what her mom had
said.

A few days later, the mother told her daughter, "Honey,
go tell Daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child went into the next room and gave her dad
the message. A few moments later, she returned to
her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind
with the computer, he already wrote the letter by
hand."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meet Brewbot
The new hot beverage maker from Tassimo

ORDER THE INTRO STARTER BUNDLE AND SAVE $50!

http://buffaloschips.com/tasmo

Now, make perfect hot beverages every time, one cup at a time

Coffee, tea, hot cocoa, espresso, cappuccino, latte, crema coffee
WHAT WILL YOU AND HE BREW NEXT?

http://buffaloschips.com/tasmo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Moonlight in Vermont
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_Pop/P_4.html

See You In My Dreams
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ISeeYouInMyDreams.htm

Did You Ever Wonder Via Samantha
http://www.mamarocks.com/did_you_ever_wonder.htm

Dale Chihuly - Artist - Chronology Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/4nhqlna

Rythms Of Life Via Carol
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/rhythmsoflife.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hello,

We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!

Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:

http://buffaloschips.com/comptv

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

Jobs That Suck!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html

Extreme Noodling!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noodling.html

There's Something About Mona!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monalisa.html

Coastal Paragliding Images. Via Samantha
http://www.paragliding-tales-and-reviews.com/coastal-paragliding.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hi,

We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.

First off, please always know that it's not your fault...

Press here to see why you're fat:

http://buffaloschips.com/fat

After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.

Thank you!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Free 80's Arcade Games
http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/80s_games/

Here's a good one.... what users mean when they call the Help
Desk:
http://video.techrepublic.com.com/2422-14075_11-267767.html

Text To Speech Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/bjnup6

Hard Drive Diagnostics - Top 5 Free Hard Drive Diagnostic Tools
http://pcsupport.about.com/od/diagnosticsoftware/tp/tophddiag.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.

We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.

Press here if you are interested:

http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn

All my best,

Freelance Home Writers Network

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz159861d7a78.html

http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/RealTalkingDogs.htm

Koalas In A Heatwave
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/koalas.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Sub-Zero Giant Roses - Ever Blooming Roses, Month after Month, Summer to
Frost

Sub-Zero Roses are specially bred by America's most famous
horticulturist, Dr. Herbert Brownell, deep in the heart of New England's
snow covered mountains. These ever blooming roses flourish under the
harshest conditions imaginable - from the scorching heat to below
freezing. Sub-Zero Roses are virtually immune to all rose problems such
as black spot and leaf mold. Get big, beautiful roses month after month
with Sub-Zero Roses.

Order today and we'll double your order.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/subro

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

Kind Of Scary
http://www.buffaloschips.com/werww.htm

Kitchen Table
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwee.htm

Law Enforcement.. Dealing With The Public
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asasda.htm

Lil Red Riding Hood Chunk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ewqwqw.htm

Lucky Louie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/assskla.htm

The Mom Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jadljhda.htm

Tolerant Cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsksd.htm

Uncle Jay
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dskjskj.htm

Walk-in Closet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsksdjk.htm

Who Needs Pockets
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdjkjsdk.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mom was cleaning the house when she found her son's hidden stash of
S&M and sexual bondage magazines.

Naturally, she was very upset and she didn't know what to do. So,
she waited until her husband got home to discuss it with him.

After she showed him the magazines, she asked him, "Well, what are
you going to do about it?"

"I don't know what to do." he told her. "I really don't think I
should give him a spanking for this!"

One doctor tells another. "I just have to talk to some one I am so
guilt ridden." Second doctor says, "Well you can tell me I have a
lot of doctors confiding in me, maybe I can help." "Well for years
and years now I have been having sex with my patients every chance I
got and I just have to get it off my chest." "That is not too
strange a lot of doctors I know have sex with their patients,
However, I will admit not many of them are vets."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

camel huge
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kvjfdlkgdf.htm

camel toe cup
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ofjhf.htm

camel toe 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdfgfd.htm

camel toe3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjlgfddfgfg.htm

came too soon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjlgfddfgfg.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a woman, Monique,
Who proclaimed an efficient technique:
"One fuck daily's just right."
She did seven one night,
And then found that it made her hole weak.
____________________________

There once was a young man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.
____________________________

There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you'd guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No good deed goes unpunished. I had
volunteered to tar the roof on my father's
shed. I was about halfway done when I
slipped and fell flat on my face getting
black goop all over my shirt, my pants,
even my hair.

Hearing the thud, Dad looked up. "What
happened?"

I got up and began to say, "All I did was..."
when my feet shot out from under me and
I flipped into the tarry mess a second time.

"You know," Dad said dryly, "you could have
just told me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2006

The %#$@#$ Dog Run

Sandi still escapes!!!

BJ goes back into the dog run and views all the
work he has done to seal the exits.

BJ: How can she be escaping?

He notices the gate, at the bottom the chain link
is open and an area large enough for Sandi to
escape.

BJ: How can she move, bend metal wire that is
interlocked?

BJ looks around the dog run. He finds a chest and
opens it.

BJ: Aha! A welder's mask, a torch. I will remove
these and I have her trapped.

Did BJ see the suction cup shoes?

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com

Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 3-30-11

 


Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I guess the first mess in the kitchen was mine. I did breakfast
this morning and although I was careful to keep the place neat
but when I finished cooking eggs, I left the burner on about
a notch. Sandy came out later to do the dishes and set a Pyrex
dish down on the burner just to help clear the sink out. The
cooking dish exploded just like those darn eggs did and it
took awhile to get all of the glass picked up. I thought Pyrex
was supposed to be heat resistant because test tubes etc.
are but I have rethought that now and will no longer use
direct heat.

If you would like me to recreate some of my various cooking
disasters, including the flaming turkey, invite me over for dinner
some time and make sure your homeowners insurance is
paid up.

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

A couple of newsletters you may enjoy

Eating-Pointed-Recipes

Welcome to Eating Pointed Recipes.
This Group is for anyone who are on Diets and count PointsCalories etc.
We only have a few requirements:
1-Do not sign up unless unless your age is listed in your Profile.
2-Do not post a recipe without Calorie Value or Points.
3-The only recipes that can be posted without Point Value are WW Core.
So please relaxsit back and enjoy.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Eating-Pointed-Recipes

and

*** JustForFunForYou..Adult Humor***
FUNNERS (ADULT HUMOR)
Come Play With Us!
Sometimes We Play Naughty!
Sometimes We Play Nice!
But We Do Have FUN!
Adult-Humor from G (oh yeah) to X (oh my)!
Come Join Our FUN!
We have something for everyone!
Our mail runs 6000+ per month so choose Digests
if u don't want mail to clog or
Indidvidual if u want to see attachments.
If you are 18 or older, come on in, get comfy and
enjoy the FUN!!
* JustForFunForYou-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
* http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JustForFunForYou

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now you can grow your own cucumbers at home with The Cucumber Vine!

Start picking arrow-straight cucumbers in just 50 days! This vigorous
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cucumbers hang down straight as an arrow, so they avoid 'curling' and
producing misshapen fruits like other cucumbers that grow across the
ground.

Harvest cucumbers every day once the vine starts bearing. Plus, the
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if
they could name some things you can suck!"

"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.

"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?".

"How about a lollipop!" said Steven.

"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little
Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".

The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The
teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"

Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, I

heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

too much
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g066.html

interrupting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g067.html

menopause
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g068.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hinckley Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You might recall that John Hinckley was the seriously deranged young
man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was
absolutely obsessed with move star jodie Foster, extremely jealous,
and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to
make himself well known to her, he attempted to asassinate President
Reagan. There is speculation Hinckley might soon be released as
having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the
following letter from John McCain that the staff at the mental
facility treating Hinckley reports to have intercepted this past
weekend:

To: John Hinckley
From: John McCain

My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how
pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your
recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and
forgiveness, we want you to know there is a non-partisan consensus
of compassion and forgiveness throughout. My wife Cindy and I want
you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting
President Reagan.

We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could
have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident you
will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join
the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best Wishes,
John and Cindy McCain

PS: While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging
Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. Just thought you
should know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper

Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.

Order today and we'll double your order.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/ghopep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cookie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the beginning there was the Void, and you couldn't find a decent
bloody beer, or for that matter, anything else decent anywhere. Then
God spake, saying unto the Cosmos "I want a decent bloody biscuit!" And
chocolate chip bickies appeared.

God tasted them and they were chewy and fatty and rich - and God saw
that they were good.

Then God looked forth for someone to tell how good the bloody beaut
bickies were, but there was Void, and fuck-all else, so God created a
place, and called it "Here."

And then, probably because he was bored shitless, God caused to appear a
man, right here, and called him "You." Then God spake, "Hey You, try one
of these bloody beaut bickies, they're great!"

"You" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and raved as to the goodness
thereof. Then "You" looked for someone else to tell about the wondrous
bloody beaut bickies of chocolate chip, but there was no one but him and
God, and God already knew of them.

So "You" spake unto God, beseeching, "Who can I tell about these bloody
beaut bickies?"

With this in mind, God created woman, and called her "Wowza," for her
form was exceedingly fair to look upon. "You" then spake unto her and
said, "Wowza, you bloody well have to try one of these bloody beaut
bickies!"

"Wowza" partook of the bloody beaut bickies, and said "Yeah well,
they're OK." Then she hid herself from "You" and God, and ate the entire
box of bloody beaut bickies As a result God waxed wrathful and spake,
"You! Where are my bloody beaut bickies?"

"You" turned and cried, "Wowza! the bitch - She fucken gutzed the whole
box!"

For this God sent forth a curse of biblical proportion called
"cellulite" and smote "Wowza" horrendously on each of her hips, causing
"You" to look upon her and go "Fuck me! What a fat bitch"

Then Satan, He of rice cakes and Iceberg lettuce set, did appear and
sent to "Wowza" a divorce lawyer to comfort her in her grief.

And thus did "Here" become a place of bedevilment and God quoth, "Next
time, I'll send out for pizza, and I'll be buggered if I am telling
anyone, including "You"

Thus, it is written ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Flowering Cherry Hedge Grow Your Own Fresh Cherries at Home

With the amazing quick growing Flowering Cherry Hedge, you'll soon be
collecting cherries by the bowlful that you can use to make delicious
pies, impressive desserts and sweet jams. Or just pick them off the bush
one at a time for a fresh, tasty snack.

Order today and we'll double your order to 4 plants.

Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/flcher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager

if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed the
guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000 words
and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."

?

The guy bought the bird and took it home.

?

Next day, the guy was back in the pet store to complain. The bird hadn't
said a word.

?

The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a few of
the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and put it in
his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his surroundings and
loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took them home to the
bird.

?

Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?" asked
the manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick." The credit
card was whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was back home with
his new birdbath.

?

And, like clockwork, two days later the guy was back to complain that
the bird STILL hadn't said one word. This time the shop owner scratched
his head and said, "You know, sometimes the bird would be praised in his
training and allowed to ring this bell." The guy was hesitant, but he
really wanted to hear the bird talk, so he reluctantly purchased the
bell.

?

Two days later, the guy was back in the shop. This time the pet shop
owner suggested the bird was lonely. The guy was upset that he'd have to
purchase ANOTHER bird when the first one wasn't talking. The pet shop
owner told him that, no, he wouldn't have to do that. Just buy a mirror
and trick the bird into thinking he had company.

?

You guessed. Two days later, the man was back in the store, this time
with the parrot. The parrot was dead.

?

"What happened! Didn't the bird ever talk?" asked the pet store owner.

?

"Yep. Right before he died it said, 'Don't they sell any fucking
birdseed at that pet store?'"

?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling Pinched by a Tightening Economy?

A visit to eInsuranceMarket.com for quotes on auto insurance is a
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eInsuranceMarket.com can connect you with quotes from up to four
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Make the right move for your finances. Visit eInsuranceMarket.com today.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cookout Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last Fourth of July we invited all the family over for a big
barbecue. Dad was roasting a chicken on a grill but the electric
motor on the rotisserie quit working so Dad had to crank the spit by
hand.

He did a good job too as the chicken was turning a beautiful golden
brown all over, even though Dad was a little concerned that the
running juices were causing some the flames to spark occasionally and
singe the chicken a bit as he turned it.

It was about that time that Old Aunt Mabel whose eyesight was long
gone, and who wasn't quite as sharp as she used to be, shuffled over
to the grill. She observed Dad's actions for a moment and then said,
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but not only is your music
box not making any music, but your monkey's on fire."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Super Wave Oven All In One Cooker

New from The Sharper Image, the Super Wave Oven combines halogen,
convection, and infrared heat technology to cook foods up to three times
quicker in every way possible. It can broil, bake, barbecue, roast,
grill, steam, dehydrate, and fry. You can cook from frozen with no need
to defrost. And even with all these cooking possibilities, it uses less
energy than conventional ovens. Plus, the Super Wave Oven is self
cleaning so clean up is a breeze.

Learn More

http://tinyurl.com/4em47h8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Runaway
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav_RC/50_C.html

John w/ The Secret
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_classics/019/secret.htm

Old Photographs Via Carol
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/oldphotographs.htm

Marlene/You raised Me Up/Gospel page
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html1/YouRaisedMeUp.html

Sweet Little Pad
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/homepad.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hello,

We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!

Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:

http://buffaloschips.com/comptv

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

Underwater Bowling Via Kent
http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/full/ap/3040935/graphic1.swf

All About Alcatraz
http://www.alcatrazhistory.com/mainpg.htm

Timezone Check
http://www.timezonecheck.com/

Strange Tombstones
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tombstones.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hi,

We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
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First off, please always know that it's not your fault...

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After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
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Thank you!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Wiki Press
http://pediapress.com/

Train laying its own tracks
Http://www.wimp.com/traintrack/

People Of Influence Painting
http://cliptank.com/PeopleofInfluencePainting.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.

We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
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All my best,

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsbite.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/HOLYCAT.HTML

Cat In a Box
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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Sub-Zero Roses are specially bred by America's most famous
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Movie Links

Jamacos
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsdw.htm

Just Walk It ff Sissy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfssd.htm

The Vasectomy Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssss.htm

Kangaroo Court
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsssaw.htm

Kilted Scotsman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsdd.htm

Robbery
http://www.buffaloschips.com/alkqwoie.htm

Roll Over Donner Pass
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdskdjs.htm

Russian Bar Trio
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkldkl.htm

Snow Plow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/laksaoiw.htm

The 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/salksalka.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a result of recent regulations prohibiting certain types of
account fees, banks are finding new ways to make money from their
customers. Here are some of the hidden charges now being applied:

Wells Fargo - $10 to speak to a human teller, $20 to speak to a
computer.

Chase - $2 fee if Chase Rewards debit card is placed next to a debit
card from a competing bank

Citibank - Customers who think Citibank has a 'y' in its name are
penalized, monthly, on an increasing scale

Bank of America - Safe deposit boxes now on coin-operated timers

HSBC
Bank USA - HSBC gets 10 percent cut of all birthday money

TD Bank - $1 for stopping in any TD branch location to warm up while
out walking on a cold day

Regions Bank - $10 Felix-the-Cat-opt-out charge will be admin-
istered to anyone choosing a check design not featuring silent-
film-era cartoon character Felix the Cat

SunTrust - $1.75 High Roller fee applied when card is used at
locations other than CVS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

call ahead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/flbjhclgvnbvn.htm

call girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khdjkgdf.htm

call the paramedic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kxgjkxcvgc.htm

calorie1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vgkjdfkgjdfg.htm

camel toe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jcbkfcgbfd.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meet Brewbot
The new hot beverage maker from Tassimo

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WHAT WILL YOU AND HE BREW NEXT?

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a girl from the chorus
Whose virtue was said to be porous
She started by candling
And ended by handling
The whole clientele of a whorehouse.

A hard-working waitress named Cora
Discovered that drummers adore a
Titty that's ripe
And a c*nt that is tripe --
Now she doesn't work hard any more-a.

A lady named Belle da C*nt Corrigan
Was the mistress of J. Pierpont Morigan,
Till she handed the banker
A hell of a chancre
And now she is just a plain whore again!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fast Brite Lens Restore

The Fastest Lens Revolution Kit Ever

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three friends are sitting around their favorite pub.
The first guy says "Hey guys, I know this other bar
where you go in and every third drink that you
order, you get the next one free. On top of that,
about 1/4 of the time I go in there, I get 'lucky' "

The second guy says, "That's nothing! I know this
bar where you get every other drink on the house,
and I get lucky there about 1/2 the times that I go
in."

The third guy, unimpressed, says, "Hell, I've got you
both beat. I know of a place where you get every
drink on the house and you get 'lucky' EVERY time
you go in."

The other two say, "WOW! Where is it?"

The third guy responds with a sigh, "I don't know,
my wife won't tell me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2004

The Dog Run

BJ: So Rudy had a fridge, a small grill.

Katie: So he could cook his burgers, had to have
his burgers.

BJ: A stove..

Katie: To cook pizzas with. Sandi loved that one.

BJ: A dishwasher..

Katie: He could not be bothered with doing the dishes.

BJ: A freezer?

Katie: He stored food for a rainy day. When you guys
went on a long shopping trip. We all had extra meals.

BJ: Microwave?

Katie: Sometimes cooking was too slow and a microwave
often was too slow and he wanted something even faster.

BJ: Sigh

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com

Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 3-29-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Because I had to cancel my original Spring Cleaning Event
last week due to a toothache, Sunday after the lists were out
and lunch was served, I disconnected the Gas Range and
Freezer and started stripping and scraping and cleaning the
floor. It took about 8 hours of laying on the floor and cased
me to wonder when it became so hard to get up off the floor.
As soon as I got a large enough area cleaned, Buffy came in
and started painting the kitchen Eggshell White. I figure that
way the next time that Sandy blows up a pan full of eggs, the
shrapnel will blend with the walls. Buffy was a great help and
did the painting herself with only a few slips and a broken
handle on the paint roller. Unfortunately for me I seem to have
tweaked my back again and I get a pain in my butt whenever
I sit for a half hour or so but I have lived through that quite
a few times and will again.

The Navy is celebrating a few birthdays in the next month.

Fellow Companions, Shipmates All, and all supporters of the Sea
Services, please accept this great opportunity that is on the horizon
(16 April) to join the celebration of the 111th Birthday of the
Submarine Force. The event includes a golf tournament and dinner at the
Naval Postgraduate School, Monterey, CA.

The event is on Saturday night, 16 April, at 1800 hours, come and join
in the celebration of the 111th Birthday of the Submarine Force with a
Reception in Herrmann Hall, Naval Postgraduate School, followed by
Dinner and Dancing in the Barbara McNitt Ballroom. The Guest Speaker
RADM Mike Connor, Director of Submarine Warfare for the CNO, was the
Submarine Group Commander and the Theater ASW Commander in the Western
Pacific located in Japan before coming to the OPNAV N87 job. The
celebration will also have some traditional Toasts and a very moving
ceremony (Tolling of the Bells) a time to remember the Submarines and
their crew members that have been lost.

Information on housing golf and online registering and payments can be
found at the Northern California Naval Submarine League Chapter Web Site
http://www.nslnorcal.com/ If this doesn't take you directly to the
site, just paste it in your Internet Browse.

Abel Quinones, MCPO, USN(Retired) Sends

and

MCPON: Happy 118th Birthday CPOs

Special from Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy (SS/SW) Rick D. West

WASHINGTON (NNS) -- Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
(MCPON)(SS/SW) Rick D. West released the following Chief Petty Officer
birthday message to the Fleet March 28.

"My fellow chief petty officers,

On April 1st, our entire Mess will pause to celebrate 118 years of the
United States Navy Chief Petty Officer, and we're not just celebrating
another year of chiefs serving the Navy, we're celebrating everything it
means to wear the fouled anchors we all cherish.

Those anchors are the symbol of a culture and a way of life,
representing character, loyalty, a strong commitment to leadership, our
core values, and Navy ethos. Our anchors carry with them a
responsibility to live up to the tradition of selfless service, while
remembering our proud heritage that we've spent 118 years building as we
look toward our future.

Thank you Chiefs! Through your leadership of our Sailors, you continue
to keep our heritage alive and our Navy strong - and as you know our
Navy is the best it has ever been. Continue to make a positive impact on
your command, your Sailors, yourself and our Mess.

Remember those who have gone before us and those who have paid the
ultimate sacrifice in service to our great nation.

Happy birthday Shipmates! I truly appreciate your leadership and the
hard work you do every day.

Anchor Up and Hooyah Navy Chiefs!"

For more news from Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy, visit
www.navy.mil/local/mcpon/.

buffalo says It seems kind of strange to think of a Navy without
Chief Petty Officers or submarines for that matter. Happy Birthday
and Thank you for your service.

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

A couple of newsletters you may enjoy

A1Fun
Wanna laugh till you cry?
Come join our adult orientated
Unmoderated joke list, with everything from
G to X-no porn! Jokes, toons, wavs, clips etc. We
Have it all ! The only thing missing is.......YOU ! Over 18 only.
Come show us your stuff

Visit Group on Web at: http://groups.google.com/group/A1Fun

And

C's Place Too

A small group where you can post coupon forms,
small gift items, craft items for sale freebies
and information on saving money.
No adult content is allowed.
Join at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/csplacetoo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now you can grow your own cucumbers at home with The Cucumber Vine!

Start picking arrow-straight cucumbers in just 50 days! This vigorous
new variety of burpless (bitter free) cucumber actually prefers to
climb, rather than sprawl across the ground. Its foot-long slicing
cucumbers hang down straight as an arrow, so they avoid 'curling' and
producing misshapen fruits like other cucumbers that grow across the
ground.

Harvest cucumbers every day once the vine starts bearing. Plus, the
bright green skin is so tender and non-bitter, it needs no peeling to
eat fresh off the vine or fresh sliced into salads.

Order 2 Cucumber Vine plants for only $9.95 plus $4.95 P&H and get a 3rd
Cucumber Vine plant for FREE! *Just pay $2.95 P&H

http://buffaloschips.com/cuvine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was once a boy named Johnny Go Deeper.
He attended a school where his father was the
principal, his mother was the vice principal,
and his sister was an administrator. He stayed
after class when the bell rang to speak with
his teacher, Mrs. Johnson.

He began the conversation by saying. "Mrs.
Johnson, please take off your shirt".

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my shirt off".

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you.

So Mrs. Johnson removed her shirt.

Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
off your skirt".

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my skirt off".

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".

Mrs. Johnson then removed her skirt.

Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please take
off your bra and panties".

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny, I'm
not taking my bra and panties off".

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".

Mrs. Johnson then removed her bra and panties.

Then Johnny says "Mrs. Johnson, please lay on
the table".

Mrs. Johnson quickly replied "No Johnny,I will
not lay on the table".

So Johnny says "I'll tell my mother and my
father and my sister and they'll fire you".

Mrs. Johnson lays on the table.

So Johnny jumped on top of her and proceeded
to try to penetrate her.

All of a sudden his mother walks in and yells
"JOHNNY GO DEEPER"

So Johnny replies "I'm trying, I'm trying".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

sunshine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g031.html

some women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g032.html

my computer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/g033.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Signs Your Soft Drink Contains Viagra

~ Available in two terrific flavors: 7" Up and Mount 'n' Do.

~ The wife's pouring it on your corn flakes.

~ Its theme song is "I'd Like To Teach The World To Schwing."

~ As you walk away from the recycling bin, you can hear the cans
un-crushing themselves.

~ Those Mountain Dew guys can finally express their true feelings
for one another.

~ When you shake it up, it pays you 50 dollars.

~ New surprisingly graphic 7-Up label banned in 37 countries.

~ Severe headache, upset stomach, blue-tinted vision-- oh wait,
that's just regular ol' Diet Mountain Dew.

~ The fast food kid's remark: "Oh, it'll be super-sized, alright."

~ When you dump a cooler of it over your coach's head, his hair goes
all Don King.

~ In the blind taste test, it's pretty obvious which one guys
prefer.

~ The Pepsi Challenge now involves a stopwatch, 2 quarts of Mazola,
and the Rockettes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper

Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.

Order today and we'll double your order.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/ghopep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheep Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why Sheep Are Better Than Women

1. Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth.

2. You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear.

3. Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather.

4. Cottonmouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease.

5. Nuttin' beats mutton.

6. Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel.

7. Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke,
and then tell you they have to be home early.

8. Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down.

9. Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off
when you tell them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Flowering Cherry Hedge Grow Your Own Fresh Cherries at Home

With the amazing quick growing Flowering Cherry Hedge, you'll soon be
collecting cherries by the bowlful that you can use to make delicious
pies, impressive desserts and sweet jams. Or just pick them off the bush
one at a time for a fresh, tasty snack.

Order today and we'll double your order to 4 plants.

Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/flcher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boob Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women with Big Boobs
...can get a taxi on the worst days.
...have men give them the best seats on a bus.
...have a neat place to carry spare change.
...have always been the center of the arts (art).
...make jogging a spectator sport.
...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub.
...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them).
...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie.
...can always carry a little extra cash.
...always float better.
...know where to look first for lost earrings.
...rarely lack for a slow dance partner.
...have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless
recliner.
...never have to buy a car with airbags.
...have a place to carry a extra beer.

Women with Little Boobs
...don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public.
...always look younger.
...find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap.
...can always see their toes and shoes.
...can sleep on their stomachs.
...have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars.
...know that people can read the entire message on their T-shirts.
...know that everything more than a handful is wasted.
...can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle.
...can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking
themselves out.
...never be accused of having implants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling Pinched by a Tightening Economy?

A visit to eInsuranceMarket.com for quotes on auto insurance is a
proactive step toward improving your finances. The insurance market is
volatile and rates are constantly changing. If you haven't shopped
around in awhile, you might be paying too much.
http://buffaloschips.com/einsur

eInsuranceMarket.com can connect you with quotes from up to four
insurance agents that will work hard to save you money on auto
insurance. Most people that use eInsuranceMarket are able to save up to
$65 a month -- that's over $800 a year!

Make the right move for your finances. Visit eInsuranceMarket.com today.

http://buffaloschips.com/einsur

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Test Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started
looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.

They tested him.

They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red
wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in
steel containers."
"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass.
"It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak
barrels."
"Correct."

A third glass.
''It's champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She brought in a glass of her urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month.
And if you don't give me the job, I'll let everyone know that you're the
father!"

Randy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Super Wave Oven All In One Cooker

New from The Sharper Image, the Super Wave Oven combines halogen,
convection, and infrared heat technology to cook foods up to three times
quicker in every way possible. It can broil, bake, barbecue, roast,
grill, steam, dehydrate, and fry. You can cook from frozen with no need
to defrost. And even with all these cooking possibilities, it uses less
energy than conventional ovens. Plus, the Super Wave Oven is self
cleaning so clean up is a breeze.

Learn More

http://tinyurl.com/4em47h8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Skidboot (An Awesome Dog!)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Sk.html

Choices Via Carol
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/choices.htm

Mama Said
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/MamaSaid.htm

John w/ So You Think You Know Everything
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_oefh/52/so_you.htm

Rick w/ Calvary's Tree (New Page)
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/CalvaryTree.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hello,

We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!

Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:

http://buffaloschips.com/comptv

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

PepperFool.com 's Hot and Spicy Recipe Pages.
http://www.pepperfool.com/

Baby Boomer Women
http://www.boomergirl.com/

MacGyver - How To Do It 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver3.html

At The Car Wash!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carwash.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hi,

We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.

First off, please always know that it's not your fault...

Press here to see why you're fat:

http://buffaloschips.com/fat

After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.

Thank you!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

F1 Key Virus Via Kent
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/f1key.asp

St. Pat's Midis
http://hyacinthsgarden.webbywarehouse.com/file/stpatmidis.html

Tucows Downloads
http://tucows.com/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.

We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.

Press here if you are interested:

http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn

All my best,

Freelance Home Writers Network

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
Jasmine The Greyhound
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jasmine.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.catscratching.com/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Sub-Zero Giant Roses - Ever Blooming Roses, Month after Month, Summer to
Frost

Sub-Zero Roses are specially bred by America's most famous
horticulturist, Dr. Herbert Brownell, deep in the heart of New England's
snow covered mountains. These ever blooming roses flourish under the
harshest conditions imaginable - from the scorching heat to below
freezing. Sub-Zero Roses are virtually immune to all rose problems such
as black spot and leaf mold. Get big, beautiful roses month after month
with Sub-Zero Roses.

Order today and we'll double your order.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/subro

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

How A Real Man Takes Off His Underwear
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjhjkh.htm

How Mens Underwear Should Be Advertised
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjhk.htm

How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkhjk.htm

It can Make You suck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jghjhgjhg.htm

It's Cool To Wear A Scottish Kilt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asda.htm

Olympic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/es3.htm

Perception
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkj89.htm

Person Of The Week
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksdaa.htm

Puppy VS Mirror
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjdskjd.htm

Recession USA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdklslkw.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum arrive at
the Pearly gates. St Peter explains that only one can get through
and that they each have to put forward their case for entry.

Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made
some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most
beautiful music in the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven and
serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a happier
place to be."

"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"

Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I
will completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels
to the cherub to the choirboys. As you well know, Pete, if you look
good you will feel good and that will make heaven a happier place."

"Not bad," says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"

The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt,
pulls down her knickers, shoots a full bottle of water into her
vagina and lets it gush all over the floor.

"Excellent! You're in!" says St Peter.

"Hold on a minute!" says Freddie. "She didn't even say anything!"

"Fred, you know the rules," says St Peter. "A royal flush
beats a pair of Queens."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

c&m
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfhsgkfldg.htm

c chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mvjfkgjfdlg.htm

cable guy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjlfdcghfd.htm

cafe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjfkdfhgf.htm

penis boxer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjxkldgjdf.htm

coin with boobs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kxgjdfgdf'.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A squeamish young fellow named Brand
Thought caressing his penis was grand.
But he viewed with distaste
The gelatinous paste
That it left in the palm of his hand.

There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier...
And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!

There once was a lady named Dot
Who lived off of pig shit and snot
When she ran out of these
She ate the green cheese
That she grew on the sides of her twat

There was a young trucker named Briard
Who had a young whore that he hired
To F*** when not trucking
But trucking plus f*cking
Got him so f*cking tired he got fired.

<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the
cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at his
local feed and seed. One of them says, "You know, I used to have
the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick."
"How did you get it fixed?" asked the farmer. "Well I just dipped
my finger in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all over the bull's nose
and he got right after her."

He goes home to the farm and decides to try it. He grabs a cow,
dips his fingers in the cow's vagina and rubs it all around the
bull's nose. The bull gets a rip roaring boner and jumps on the cow
immediately.

That night, he gets into bed with his wife and can't get the effect
on the bull out of his mind. As she lays sleeping, he dips his
fingers into his wife's vagina and feeling that it's nice and wet,
he rubs it all around his nose and gets a rip roaring hard on. He
quickly shakes his wife awake and cries out, "Darling. Look at
this!"

She rolls over, turns on the light and says, "You mean you woke me
up in the middle of the night just to show me that you have a
NOSEBLEED?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

Re-Slim Dunlap

Slimbob Dunlap was one in a million. The outpouring of love for him here in Minneapolis since the news broke is overwhelming. Everyone has a...