Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo says Winter Storm Warning. I can see by my weather
station outside ( GMC Suburban ) that there is two new inches
of snow since last night. Only problem is everytime I move the
Jimmy I lose track of the previous snowfall first time I hit the
brakes. On the good side being able to drive off with a chunk
of snow that large helps with the snow shoveling.
They complained about the drought in Southern California and
it started raining and snowing. Everyone's lawn is greening up
and they are skiing in the Sierra Nevada. So now they are
complaining
about too much snow and ten deaths due to avalanches. Want
to know how to be safe from avalanches? Stay out of the mountains.
Since BJ has been taking a few days off a week to be with his dogs
I am going to use his space today to suggest a good cause that
could use your help. MS was something we never heard much about
twenty years ago but I have a dozen friends afflicted and dealing
with it
in varying stages today. Do me a favor and read Peggy's letter at
the
bottom of this email and contribute if you can.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you heard of the new book entitled "1001 Sex Secrets Men Should
Know?" It contains comments from 1001 different women on how men can
be better in bed.
I think that women would actually settle for three: Slow down, Turn
off the TV, and Call out the right name.
Mrs. Finkel was in her garden, hanging up her washing on the line
when her gossipy neighbor poked her head over the fence.
"I hate to tell you this, Rachel," said the gossip, "but there's a
rumor that your husband, Abe, is chasing the shiksas. And at his age
too!" she clucked like a chicken. "He's seventy-five, no?"
"Nu, so he's seventy-five,
girls. dogs chase cars - but when they catch one, can they drive
it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Real Stickup! (rude alert)
http://able2laugh.
Stuck
http://able2laugh.
Tree love
http://able2laugh.
Faking It
http://www.buffalos
Welcome To Ontario
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Crowded Beach
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Tin Can Phone
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucky Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mike and Steve are talking about their respective weekends when the
subject of picking up ladies pops up.
"I must say I'm doing fine in that department," says Mike. "This
weekend I hooked up with that new secretary Jenny Smith."
"Jenny Smith!" Steve exclaims, "What happened?"
"Let's just say I got lucky."
"I've heard about Jenny," Steve says, "and I wouldn't call
it 'lucky.'"
"I would," Mike says smugly.
"In that case," Steve replies, "you're the luckiest guy with herpes
I
know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you own a timeshare or condo and never even use it...quit wasting
money and let us help you.
We will buy, rent or sell your timeshare guaranteed.
Stop paying for something you don't use and cash out quickly.
Save time and money. Just sit back and let us do all the work.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chastity Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
During the days of King Arthur, the young men
were having to join the military and fight in the
crusades. One such young man had just gotten
married and was forced to leave before "knowing"
her. She was still wearing the chastity belt and
he had the only key. He was so concerned about
her that on his way out to the crusades he met
with his best friend who was staying behind. He
told his friend, "Keep this key, and if I am killed,
you have my permission to use it."
"Promise me that you will be an honorable friend
and take care of her, and that you will not use it
until you have confirmed my death. The two men
made a pact, and the young man rode off to join
the distant battle.
About two hours later, as he was traveling to join
the battle, the young man noticed a rider
approaching at a full gallop, with a cloud of dust
behind him. It was not long before he recognized
the rider. It was his best friend. As his friend
approached he was waving frantically, with the
key in his hand shouting at the top of his voice,
"You gave me the wrong key!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHANGE HAS COME
Get the Obama Destiny Poster!
Take 5 posters for $5 each + FREE shipping!
Select your posters now:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes to a carnival and sees a sign - Kisses : $5 to $50 bucks.
He asks the gal, "Is the price difference due to the duration of the
kiss?" To which she replies, "Nope. Lip placement."
It used to bother me when people called me a pussy. But the joke's
on
them -- after all, you are what you eat!
Charlie phoned Shirley to invite her out for a lamb dinner. "What do
you mean, a lamb dinner?" asked Shin somewhat puzzled. "Three
cocktails and a piece of ewe," smirked good old Charlie.
Said the little bell to the big bell, "You might have a bigger dong
than I have, but I do more ringing."
An Englishman shot himself in the groin recently after drinking 15
pints of beer, and stuffing a sawed-off shotgun down his pants.
Apparently, the man was under the impression the gun wasn't fully
cocked, and now he isn't either.
I asked my friend what sign he was born under and he said he was
conceived under the "No Parking" sign.
How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How great would it be if there was a toy that would be fun,
educational,
and help your child over come their fear of the
dark all with out making a mess?
INTRODUCING MAGIC DRAW!
Say goodbye to messy markers and crayons. Magic Draw is an
innovative new concept that allows you to actually draw with LIGHT!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to Make Love Like a Man
1. While flipping through channels, catch a glimpse of men's
underwear ad. Feel instant and overwhelming desire for sex.
2. Find partner. Begin undressing self and partner.
3. Wait a minute: What's going on? Partner is kissing you not on
nipples but on lips. Guiding your hand away from lower regions and
toward shoulder. Oh, right, now you remember. Foreplay.
4. Kiss and touch, kiss and touch. This is making you feel
incredibly
hot, while it seems your partner is still just warming up to room
temperature.
5. Attempt to find "magic button" that will make your partner as
turned on as you are. After much groping, finally think you locate
it. Rub it. Rub it hard. Stop only when you notice partner's
attention has drifted back to TV.
6. Offer to give oral sex, your third most favorite sexual activity.
There is a chance that this may lead to receiving oral sex, your
first most favorite sexual activity.
7. Spend 23 minutes on the giving end. When your partner finally
seems enthusiastic enough to want to reciprocate, find that you're
forced to stop after two minutes for fear of the entire encounter
ending right there.
8. Almost "forget" birth control.
9. Now it's time for your second most favorite sexual activity.
Okay,
it's in. Thirty seconds later, attempt to train your mind on the
anti-
orgasmic image of the boy who peed on the school bus in third grade.
Then, despite your best efforts, your mind returns to Matt Damon,
and
the school bus turns into a huge, rocking iron bed.
10. Your partner seems excited now. Very excited. Is partner having
an orgasm? You can't quite tell. But who really cares, at least at
the moment. Your body is being tossed skyward as if by a volcano and
that howl of joy just might be coming from your own mouth.
11. Check surroundings. Yes, good, you're still in the same room.
12. Grasp partner's hand and say how great the sex was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murray had a new flame, and before long they had a difference of
opinion. "I don't like the way you're carrying on with other guys,"
he
ranted, "That must stop!" "Calm down, Murray," she replied, "There's
no reason for you to flip. Listen, don't I always let you take me to
shows?" "Yeah." "And to dinner?" "That's right." "And don't I let
you
buy me flowers and clothes, and other gifts?" "Yeah." "So what are
you
getting excited about," she assured him, "I only use the other guys
for love-making.
This guy is sitting in his living room surfing the channels on the
television. All of a sudden, the door of the apartment whips open
and
his girlfriend storms through. She screams, "You fuckin' arsehole!"
and she heads into the bedroom. Stunned, the man flips off the
television and walks toward the bedroom, wondering, "Now what have I
done?" Inside the bedroom he finds the girl furiously packing a
suitcase. He asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My
therapist says that I should leave you and that you're a pedophile!"
The man responds, "Wow, that's a pretty big word for a 12 year old."
A young woman and young man were at the beach one moonlit night.
They
were lying there looking at the night sky in each others arms. The
young man looked over and asked the young lady, "If you could be on
any planet up there, just you and I, which one would you want to be
on?" The young woman lies there for a minute staring up and thinks
and
then replies, "I think it would be Venus, it sounds like a place of
romance." She then turns to him and asks him the same question. He
lies there and with a sly smile replies, "Uranus."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's
sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and
mess from other methods. Meal time, snack time, every time is the
right time for sliders! And as a limited time offer, you'll receive
a Quick Prep Slicer at no charge.
Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Cherished Friends
http://www.silveran
carolyn w/Kids Say The Darndest Things~Art Linkletter
http://carolynsprec
Love Thoughts!
http://www.shangral
God's Almighty Hands
http://www.geocitie
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Shoebuy has the largest selection of women's shoes, men's
shoes, kids' shoes, casual shoes, dress shoes, and athletic
shoes. Choose from over 750 brands, 700,000 products, the
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on every order.
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Most Expensive Flowers Via Dianne
http://www.petalsan
Tex Mex Dictionary Via Dianne
http://www.texmex.
Global Rich List
http://www.globalri
Places Of Peace and Power
http://www.sacredsi
*+*+*+*+*+*+
NEW! CLOROX Bath Wand Cleaning System
Get Your FREE* Starter Kit!
. 23" Handle with Storage Hook
. Disposable Pads Loaded with Cleaner
The CLOROX Disposable Tub & Shower Cleaning System, FREE*!
CLOROX BATH WAND extends your reach by 2 feet for easy access to
hard-to-clean areas such as tight corners and grout lines, while the
attachment head swivels to conform to all surfaces. That means no
more wear on your back!
No more waiting or spraying either. Disposable scrubby pads are
preloaded with a powerful, ready-to-use, disinfecting CLOROX
formula. Not for use on natural stone, brass or varnished wood.
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Solid Color Backs
http://d21c.
Annie's Web Treasure Box
http://www.wtv-
Kid Sticks
http://simplysally.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you never have to pay
another cable or satellite bill ever again if you don't want to! The
Internet has made this possible!
You can now download a program online that will allow you to watch
unlimited television from around the world right on your PC! You
will have access to over 2,000 channels. That is more than what you
are getting from your cable or satellite services!
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.terrific
Kitty Korner
http://www.coolcybe
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Chips
Final Call
http://www.buffalos
Flashlights
http://www.buffalos
Girls
http://www.buffalos
Giving Change Adult
http://www.buffalos
Gym
http://www.buffalos
Terrific Illusion
http://www.buffalos
Thank You Troops Edited
http://www.buffalos
Thank God I'm A Country Boy
http://www.buffalos
The Real Stars - Tom
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife was upset when she found out, after all these years of me
telling her otherwise, that the song is not titled "O Cum All Ye
Faceful."
One day, shortly after having her 9th baby, the good Irish lady ran
into her parish priest. He congratulated her on the new offspring
then
said, "Isn't having nine babies a little much?" "Well," she said, "I
don't know why I get pregnant so often, it must be something in the
air." "Yes," said the priest, "your legs!"
Paddy visited his parents the day after his wedding. His father took
him aside and asked, "How did it go last night, son?" Paddy winked
and
elbowed his dad. "Gee, great. You know, the way she was acting, I
think I could have screwed her."
They're making a new XXX movie. It's about an anorexic Irish
prostitute who hops from bed to bed. Her name's Tramp O'Lean.
Why aren't there any Irish bisexuals?
Twice a year is too much for them.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a prostitute?
A two-ton pick-up who'll go for peanuts, but she'll never
forget you!
Did you hear about the Irish gay couple?
Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael
What's the difference between a boxer and a woman?
A boxer stands up to get knocked down and a woman lies down
to get knocked up
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hell
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
End Of The Rainbow
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
T-shirt Saying
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
3 wishes
http://www.thepostm
don't take my nuts
http://www.thepostm
peanuts news slip
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out
Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
windows saving you money on your energy bills.
Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
home
as they do outdoors, blocking drafts and keeping allergens, such as
dust,
pollen and even insects from traveling freely around your home. Twin
Draft
Guards are also helpful in blocking harmful fumes from the garage
and the
damp chill from the basement.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man name of Florin
Who was fond of a gal who was whorin'
When he looked in her box
And found 20 cocks
Said, "I'm sure you won't mind just one more in."
There once was a vampire called Mabel
Who's menstrual cycle was stable
One weekend in four
She'd sit on the floor
And drink herself under the table.
There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you in pain?
Arthritis, Aching, Stiffness, Asthma, Inflammation, Joint Pain...
Lyprinol - All natural and safe replacement for NSAIDs (NSAIDs
include ibuprofen, naproxen and aspirin)
- High Potency Inflammation Relief!
- Reduces Asthmatic Symptoms!
- Improves Joint Mobility!
Here for your Free Bottle (S&H not included):
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the condo of their
dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The
husband
had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it
seemed
to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time
the wife had enough and actually pounded on the wall between the two
apartments. There being no response she telephoned, only to get the
answering machine. Finally, she went to the model's door and just
kept
ringing the bell. When the model answered, the wife fumed, "I would
like to know why it is my husband takes so damn long to get
something
over here!" "Well, sweetie," the model purred, "all these
interruptions sure ain't helping matters."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ShamWow is a revolutionary, multi-use cleaning cloth that holds
over 20 times its' weight in liquids. It's like a towel, chamois
and a sponge all in one!
The ShamWow:
- Cleans up spills fast
- Will not scratch or damage any surfaces
- Machine washable
- Perfect for house, boat, car and pets
- Guaranteed to last for 10 years
Act now and we'll double your order. You'll get 8 ShamWow towels for
only $19.95+s/h!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor
was called as a witness.
The defense attorney asked, "Did you ever get
any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant?"
"No sir," answered the man.
"Did you ever get any from his wife?"
"No sir."
"Did you ever get any from his daughters?"
"Uh--excuse me sir," the witness said, "but we
are still talking about drugs here, right?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turn anything into a flashlight and never be left in the dark again!
The world's thinnest flashlight that fits anywhere!
Perfect for cell phones (since you always carry it around)
But also great on Ipods, Cameras, Wallets, Closets and anywhere you
need light!
The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
right at your fingertips
You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
Not available in stores!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am enclosing an email from a dear friend. He is on the Miami
Police force. My oldest brother and him worked together. He has been
a very good friend to me since my brother pasted away. Please read.
And if you can help at all. Please do. If you can't. It is Ok cause
times are hard for everyone. I hope no one minds me sending this.
Thank you. God Bless love Peggy
Dear Friends and Family,
Please take a moment to read this and decide. Do NOT take for
granted your everyday "little and simple" things in life such as
getting up, walking, going to the bathroom, vacationing, enjoying
life, etc. Many people with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) can't and suffer
with pain, immobility, inconsonance, just existing and not living
life to the fullest, to a shortened, suffering life. MS strikes
people, mostly women in the prime of their life, 20 to 50. It is a
neurological progressive degenerate disease that can affect every
and all bodily functions from paralysis to untimely death. Nine
(9) years ago, my daughter and I took part in the MS 6.2 mile
walk/run because one of her classmates and neighbor was diagnosed
with MS and she wanted to do a fundraiser for him. Three (3) weeks
later, my daughter was diagnosed with MS. Since then, well over a 40
people from classmates of Miami High and or their families
members, Miami Police Officers (active and retired family members)
co-workers (Fed. Court house) and friends in general have been
diagnosed with it. Several, suffering very badly. One committed
suicide with a shotgun.
I am asking for your financial support of a donation in this
fundraiser for research and programs for MS. I win no prize. I do it
for them because they can't !! Just recently a MAJOR breakthrough in
stem cell research actually reversed and helped a high school senior
to the point where he showed no signs of MS. (Please clink on
link):
http://www.cbsnews.
51.shtml
My run/event will occur on March 22, 2009. My given goal is $10,000
of which I am personally donating $750.00 as I did last year. I am
sure that you all who read this know of someone with MS ----a family
member or a friend. Count your blessings to good health.
If you care to help them please make out a (tax deductible) check to
:
National MS Society.
Please mail it to me: Edward Abboud 830 SW 100 Court Miami, FL
33174-2832
The decision and amount is yours. No donation is too small. It could
be your dollar that finds a cure or another major breakthrough.
Thank You and PLEASE include your phone number when making a
donation. I will personally call and thank you. If you need more
info, you may email or call me or send me your number and I will
answer any and all questions (hm 305- 552-8501 or cell 305- 215 -
9251) .
When you have your health, you have everything. Thank you and God
Bless.
Eddie Abboud-----Ret. Miami PO, Miami Fed. Ct House, Elks 948, IPA,
Blue Knights, Dade Co. PBA, Miami PBA, Miami FOP, MHS '68, etc .
(PS: This is my 9th year doing this and will continue so long as I
am able.)
This past few months, I have learned of one more classmate from MHS
68 and another MHS '70 with MS. Also --with his and her
permission--
diagnosed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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