Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
My little brother Don used to be an avid ice fisherman. He had a
favorite spot on Munuscong Bay and was always one of the first
on the ice and the last off in the spring. He would drive his 1982
Blazer out and just chop a hole in the ice and sit on the tailgate.
No fishing shack to haul on or off the ice and no expensive
collapsible
just his ice auger and a bucket full of tip-ups and a twelve pack of
beer.
It was towards the end of March and I was at work when Don
came over to my shop which was strange because he seldom
stopped there. He wanted to borrow the ratchet chain falls and
when I asked what for, he said he had put the Blazer through the
ice. Fortunately he had been close to shore in very shallow water
and the hood was still out. It is still considered to be navigable
waters and if you don't get it out yourself the Coast Guard will
arrange for divers and recovery equipment and the costs can be
in the thousands of dollars. On the shore that area has dirt
forestry roads but they were under several feet of snow so using
snowmobiles and four wheelers they got out to the beach and
rigged a line out to the blazer and after several weeks, 20 feet
at a time they managed to drag it up on the shore.
Then the DNR showed up and made them wait until all the snow
was gone, the trail was dry, and they had posted a bond for what
ever damages might be done to the dirt roads. So while the
Blazer was sitting there someone smashed a window in it and
broke in to see what they could steal. They took the stereo but
why someone would want a radio that had been underwater for
a few days is beyond me. The extra time waiting for the road to
dry did give them time to bring in fresh gas and oil and get the
Blazer back in driving shape but the transmission quickly failed
even with new fluid and Don blamed that on the dip. With all the
work and cost involved Don lost interest in ice fishing after that.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why are you married to that sadist?
A: Beats me!
------------
Q: What did Speedy Gonzales say to his wife on their honeymoon?
A: This won't hurt, did it?
------------
Q: What's hard and hairy outside, soft and wet inside,
and is spelled with the letters "C" "U" "N" and "T"?
A: A coconut.
------------
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: The chicken didn't cross the road, the *pervert* did....
The chicken was simply, um, 'attached'..
------------
Q: How many supermodels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Silly, you can't screw in a lightbulb!
------------
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: For the benefit of the deaf....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Married life
http://able2laff.
New Sci-fi flick
http://able2laff.
Illusion
http://able2laff.
Momma
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Misfits
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Speak Up
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: You'll love this story from my friend who works in the ER.
Jill: What happened?
Mary: A woman came in with a cell phone shoved up her rectum!
Jill: You're kidding!
Mary: I'm not. The woman said she and her husband were playing some
"adult games."
Jill: Well, it had to be either that, or she doesn't understand the
meaning of phone sex
Do you ever miss the ex?
Mary: OH! All the time! You wouldn't believe how much!
Jill: Wow! I didn't think you cared about him at all.
Mary: Wait a minute! Did you say "ex" or "sex"?
Budget cuts to the Defence force forced the training team to start
doing mock combat using no explosives, guns, or basically any
equipment what-so-ever, so when it came to a training scenario,
the Sergeant in charge tells his recruits that they are under
imaginary fire, and what do they do?
So all of the recruits bar one scatter and get down behind
"stuff", and get into returning fire positions.
The Sergeant notices this one recruit standing out in the open,
quite relaxed and unfazed. Yelling, the Sergeant asks "What the
devil do you think you're doing? You're under fire!" So the
recruit takes one step to the left and remains still.
Now the Sergeant's really annoyed. He yells again, "WHAT THE
HELL ARE YOU
DOING? You're under imaginary fire, take cover!" The recruit
turns to him
and replies, "I'm taking cover behind this imaginary tree Sergeant!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Irish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday Night is very much love-night for the Irish man. Arriving
back from the pub, having partaken of the traditional Irish
aphrodisiac - 12 pints Guinness, and some fish and chips, his
mind set on one thing - LOVE! Or as he say's himself "the ride".
His lust, at fever pitch, after the sensuous excitement of a hard
night's dominoes, he approaches his beloved wife, enticing her
with gentle words of passion - "any chance of me hole then love?"
The good lady in question perhaps over excited by the erotic
smell of Guinness or the sensuous vision of chips sticking to his
chin, is at first somewhat reluctant. This coy reluctance is
expressed with the flirtatious "Would ye ever fuck off!!!".
FOREPLAY
Foreplay is very important indeed. This basically consists of the
male, whipping off his slightly soiled Y fronts provocatively at
his wife, that usually land skid-mark side down, as he approaches
the bed gyrating with one hand on his hip and the other on the
back of his head, singing the ancient Gaelic fertility chant
"Here we go, here we go, here we go"
Upon reaching the bed he comments proudly on this rampant 8
incher. This is a classic example of alcohol induced double
vision.
INITIAL PROBLEMS
After 12 pints, sometimes the man's old Willie Winkie is a trifle
reluctant to extend itself (literally). Impotence is very much a
blow to the man's self esteem and the wife has to be very
tactful. She will offer gentle and sensitive words of
encouragement such as "Ye useless bastard, ye" or possibly "It
never happens to the Milkman".
Oral sex is a great favourite of the Irishman. He approaches his
wife with a cheeky invitation, "How'd ye like to put your teeth
round dis?" The woman nods willingly and points suggestively to
her falsies smiling happily in a bedside tumbler. "Go on then",
she says "but don't disturb me".
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Eventually the moment comes to consummate their tender love.
Again alcohol induced double vision is an important factor as the
man decides which of his willies to use for penetration.
Sometimes in his excitement as he moves into his position he may
suffer from severe premature ejaculation. A phenomenon he
explains to his wife using the poetic phrase "Oh fuck, I've shot
me load." If this does occur it is essential he makes up for
disappointing his wife by uttering tender and loving compliments
such as, perhaps, informing her she's the nicest woman he's ever
come across.
An imaginative lover, the Irishman, possibly having read the
woman likes to be spoken dirty to, says such things as "shite,
arsehole". The woman is speechless. The man is now thrusting
away, his mind a kaleidoscope of jumbled erotic thoughts.
The woman wonders if they should repaint the ceiling. Sometimes
she utters a word of encouragement such as "Are you sure it's in?
" Given his level sexual expertise the Irishman's ideal partner
should be a versatile lover specialising in the faked orgasm.
This takes the form of a breathless shout "Ooyah, ooyah, Big
Boy". Eventually its all over. The man roles over, falls asleep,
and commences snoring like a pig. There's no one in the world
performs quite like an Irishman - veritable prince in the kingdom
of sex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Camel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized
halfway
across that the camel they were using for transportation was about
to die.
They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their
rescue,
but to no avail. Soon the camel died.
After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that they were
not
going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and they
discussed
their predicament in great depth.
Finally the priest said to the nun, "You know, Sister, I am about to
die,
and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on earth to see a
woman
naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes so I can look at you?"
The nun thought about his request for several seconds and then
agreed to
take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked, "Well,
Father,
now that I think about it, I've never seen a man naked, either.
Would you
mind taking off your clothes, too?"
With little hesitation, the priest also stripped.
Suddenly the nun exclaimed, "Father! What is that little thing
hanging
between your legs?"
The priest patiently answered, "That, my child, is a gift from God.
If I
put it in you, it creates a new life."
"Well," responded the nun, "forget about me. Stick it in the camel
ass and
lets get the hell out of here!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arab Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beautiful young Jewish girl comes home and says, "Ma, I got
married."
Her mother says, "Oy, that's great."
She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab."
Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."
She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your
wildest
dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the
rest
of your lives."
Six months later, she walks in the beautiful new house she bought
for her
parents and says, "Ma, I love my Arab sheik, but my God, all he
wants to
do is boff me in my ass. Day and night, that's all he'll do is bang
me in
my ass. When I got married, my asshole was the size of a dime...now
it's
the size of a silver dollar."
Her mother says, "So for ninety cents you're going to make trouble?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had a great neighborhood watch going when I was a kid, until she
closed her curtains.
Seeing a picture of his wife in the nude hanging at the art show,
the
husband demanded of her: "Did you really pose for that?" "Don't be
ridiculous," she replied, "of course not. He painted it from
memory."
The farmer's daughter couldn't keep her calves together?
According to a survey in Glamour magazine, 80% of women say they
have
been creeped out at work when an older man tried to have sex with
them. The other 20% got promotions.
We were just watching a commercial for Levitra. At the end it warns,
"In the rare instance that an erection should last more than four
hours, seek immediate medical attention." My wife wants to know for
whom?
Researchers at the state veterinarian school will experiment with
using donkey hide to graft a prize sheep extensively burned in a
recent fire. The college newspaper reported the proposed procedure
with the headline, "ASS SKIN EWE WILL RECEIVE."
What do you get if you cross a donkey with an onion?
Most of the time you simply get an onion with long ears, but
every
once in a while you get a piece of ass that brings tears to your
eyes.
What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Remember These Valentines?
http://silverandgol
Melva/Happy Valentine's Day
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John w/ Grandpa's Farm
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What Is Love 2?
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Surfin Surfari
Yummy Recipe's File
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Waterproofing your child
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Chemtrail Central
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REEL CLASSICS
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
FBI Internet Investigations
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Midi Juke Box
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THE DR. PHIL RANDOM QUOTE GENERATOR
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Weight Lifting Surprise
http://www.buffalos
Why Airplanes Have Pillows
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Worst Best Man
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Yellow Snow
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New Energy Drink
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New Guy In Prison
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New Robot
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New Saw
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Nice One
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Night Before Christmas
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are suffering form what is technically known as an Electra
Complex," the psychiatrist is informing his blonde female patient.
"In
other words, you are in love with your father." The blonde breaks
down
into hysterical sobbing. "Now, now," comforts the shrink. "It's not
all that bad." "Yes.. (snif)... yes, it is," gets out the blonde
between sobs. "I have no chance at all... he's a married man!"
The recently married young woman was weeping and pouring out her
heart
and troubles to the church's appointed marriage counselor. "Isn't
there some way, without turning into a nag, that I can keep my
husband
in line?" The counselor scowled. "Well young lady," he said, "maybe
that's the problem, your husband shouldn't have to wait in line!"
Two college women were discussing the date one had had the night
before. "Oh, Nancy, he was sooo erudite, and clever, and
sophisticated. He speaks ten languages, drives a Lamborghini, took
me
to a Parisian restaurant and ordered the meal and wine in French,
then
took me to his penthouse apartment to look over his Russian book
collection by the fireplace." "Wow, Gail, he sounds fabulous! But
just
how far did he get with you?" "Well, I really rather not say, but he
was quite a cunning linguist!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
don't worry about it
http://www.thepostm
OK Mr. Johnson
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washin clothes
http://www.thepostm
Female Companionship
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Decorative Hardware
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Last Erection
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady from China,
Who had an enormous vagina,
And when she was dead,
They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.
There was a young fellow named Biddle,
Was seldom hard up for a diddle,
For according to rumor,
His tool had a tumor,
And a fine row of warts down the middle.
His brother, a bastard named Ben,
Could rotate his pecker, and then
He would shoot through his rear,
Which made him the dear
Of the girls, and the envy of men.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple decided to go to Alaska for a romantic weekend.When they
got
to the cabin it was cold so the wife asked her husband to go chop
some
wood for that fire place. He came in after 5 minutes and told his
wife
that his hands were cold, so she said her put your hands between my
thighs to warm them. So he did and went back outside to finish
chopping wood.He came in after another 5 minutes and said "honey my
hands are cold again." So she tells him here put your hands between
my
thighs to warm them. So he did and then he went back out to chop
some
more wood. 5 minutes has passed and he went in again and said,
"Honey
my hands are cold again." She then said,"Damn don't your ears ever
get
cold?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular
Contractions" to his first year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor
decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know
what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "He's probably deer hunting with his buddies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1522
Saturn vs Mars
BJ: What do you have in the box Rudy?
Rudy: I saved my coupons and got a telescope. We are putting it
together as we speak.
Sandi: Cresent wrench please.
Katie: Cresent wrench.
A few minutes later...
Rudy: How's she look pops?
BJ: Looks good. Tonight is supposed to be a clear night so can I
join
you?
Sandi: Sure thing daddy.
About 10 pm that night...
BJ: We are in luck, we have a full moon.
Katie: Let me see...Wow, pretty neat.
BJ: This is a pretty powerful telescope, you can see Mars, Saturn,
Jupiter.
Katie: Uranus?
Rudy: Huh? My anus...
Sandi: No Rudy she means the planet Uranus. I think our telescope
is
not powerful enough.
Rudy narrowing his eyes at Katie: Are you sure you meant the
planet?
Katie humming...: Oh sure I did Rudy... I also noticed your
asteroid belt
is large.
Sandi: Run Katie run!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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