THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  When it comes to cigarette smoke, we want to know what consumers prefer. Do you carry Lucky Strike? Do you like NEWPORT menthol cigarettes? Or do you choose to be smoke and cigarette-free? Take our quick Tobacco Survey & Get a FREE* $100 Visa Gift Card as a thank you for your time! Use your $100 however you want, on anything you want, anytime you want! Must be 18 or older to vote. http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/3065.html  Congratulations! You've won a FREE* box of Popsicles! Chill out and get a FREE* box of popsicles on us! http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/2543.html  NEW! Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer - FREE* SAMPLES! Achieve sexy, sun-kissed summer look wile hydrating your skin. NEW JERGENS Natural Glow Daily Moisturizers deliver an optimum amount of color to even out & enrich the appearance of your skin. Simply moisturize daily to gradually develop a soft, natural and even glow. http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/4305.html  Make sure you start the day right. Take part in National Survey Panel's Best Breakfast Cereal Survey. Which cereal is better? Froot Loops(R) vs. Trix(R). Simply tell us. Then get a FREE $100 Grocery Gift Card http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/4106.html GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! If you experienced any difficulties in viewing the movies yesterday, don't panic. The problem was on this end, not yours. Apparently yours truly made an error on the template and that sorta screwed things up for a lot of folks. But, knock on wood, I thimk I fixed it now. My thanks to Len and Chas for pointint that out to me. Remember I said that the tv gave up the ghost? The "war department" was out and about yesterday "slumming". Sometimes, if she has a little extra time she likes to go hit the used stores. u know, Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. and see what bargains she can find. Well, inspite of my warnings about wasting money on a used tv, she came home with a little set. A grand total of four dollars and ninety nine cents worth and its actually a nice older 13 inch color Magnavox. Altho rather old, the thing works like a charm, has a nice picture too! Maybe not the biggest size in the world, but since my office is only 10 by 12, its more than sufficient. The war department gave me a little speech this morning about my dreaded "diet" She seems to think I'm only paying lipservice. Sheeshe! Well lets see, what did I get for munchies yesterday? A big ole box of chocolate chip cookes, a nice litte box of candy chocolates, a yummy block of colby long horn cheese. I love tomato juice so of course I had to get me a can, (which does very little for my diabetes). And of course, there was the bag of chips and french onion dip. Don't tell her about the six pack of Ramen noodles that I snuck into the cart while she was not looking. Hmm, wonder why she would say I need to pay more attention to my diet? go figger!!! But you know what? I can't help it. I love to eat.! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman! The COMICS marriage penalty http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q052.html the password what's the difference http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q057.html pronounce it http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q059.html _____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES The Barack Obama song http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4956.html an economic parody http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4957.html thats my fish http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4958.html inside the space station http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4959.html kids will be kids http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4960.html landing on the aircraft carrier http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4961.html arm wrestling http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4963.html  There was this lady who was sexually frustrated and had tried to get her husband sexually stimulated but nothing seemed to work. She tried sexy lingerie, toys etc etc but had no luck. So one day she asked her friend what she should do... "It's really annoying me now! He's just not up for it. He's always out down the pub with the lads. What can I do?" Her friend suggested, "Well, if he's always out with the lads why don't you give him an extra tenner so he enjoys himself even more and then he'll come home and thank you appropriately..." So the woman tried this and this is what happened on his return: Man: Take Your clothes off! Woman thinks: Whoa! This is working! Man: Stand on your head! Woman: Ooohh...! Kinky!!! Man: Spread your legs apart! Woman thinks: This has really worked - give it to me! The man then gets a small mirror and places it in between her legs. Woman thinks: This is a new one... Man says: You know... the lads were right, I would look good with a beard! _____________ A man was on a safari deep, deep in the jungle when he suddenly found himself surrounded by fierce-looking natives! As they moved closer, he remembered an old trick he saw in a movie. Quickly, pulling out his Bic lighter, he flicked the flame towards the leader of the natives. Astonished, the leader jumped back several feet and gasped, "Wow! That's incredible!" "You'd better believe it's incredible," said the man, all the while waving the flame at him. "It certainly is," says the l eader. I can't remember the last time I saw a lighter that worked the first time you flicked it!" _________________ Elite Forces: Warfare http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38961&s=n Poker Superstars II http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38753&s=n Miss Malfunction 2 http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39448&s=n Virtual Villagers http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38761&s=n Tom Hanks Soundboard http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39001&s=n Mrs. Jones, deeply troubled, was consulting a psychiatrist. "My husband," she said, "is convinced he's a chicken. He goes around squawking constantly and sleeps on a large bar of wood he has fixed up as a perch." "I see," said the psychiatrist thoughtfully. "And how long has your husband been suffering from this fixation?" "For nearly two years now." The psychiatrist frowned slightly and said, "But why have you waited till now to seek help?" Mrs. Jones blushed and said, "Oh, well - it was so nice having a steady supply of eggs." ________________ Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. The Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body is a 72 year old Frenchman. He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile." "The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, 66, struck by lightning. " "Why is she smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought she was having her picture taken." ____________ BUFFALO Bill Free To Good Home http://www.buffaloschips.com/32172.htm Change Of Name http://www.buffaloschips.com/32169.htm PAPA Thorn Anger management http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=History-anger.jpg I wouldn't have http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=History-Doubtful.jpg Where the weirdos hang out http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Home4Thorn(1). jpg Jump in the Box http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=JumpInTheBox.jpg THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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