Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It is 10 below zero outside right now which is a vast improvement
over the past few mornings when it was closer to 20 below. It was
so cold yesterday that at 1100 it hadn't gotten over zero yet so I
started the GMC with the remote to warm up. It would have been
a great idea if I had turned the heater fan on the night before so
when I got out there the engine was warm but the cab was cool
but not bad because of the sun light. I turned on the fan and in the
few minutes till it started to heat the air it got really cold
inside.
I went to the hospital to have bloodwork done and found I had to
park a couple of blocks away and then after went to three stores
so I got quite a bit of exercise yesterday walking in the cold with
only a fleece jacket .
The cold weather made Buffy's birthday a little miserable too as her
laundry room drain froze and flooded her bathroom when she ran the
washer. She had to use all of her towels to soak up the mess. I
guess
she could have used a stack of those Sham wows and the guy who
does the commercial to give her a hand. To top things off her water
heater mysteriously stopped working and then started working again
when she reset the breaker like I told her to even though she said
it never
popped.
I took Buffy out to do some car shopping yesterday and the Ford
dealer
had a Pontiac listed for 2795. When Buffy was looking at it a
salesman
came up and tried to convince her that it was 3300. Bunch of crooks
so
I never even made them an offer.
Enjoy the chips everyone.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday I was at Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? Since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that
I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it
again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's a** and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. Target won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the world to think of crazy things to say.
Charlie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Women's Olympics
http://able2laugh.
Sticks & stones
http://able2laugh.
Strongman
http://able2laugh.
I'll Be Home Soon
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Euthanasia Show
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Love Hurts
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tarzan Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was
attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she
asked him how he had sex ?
'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said ' Oh,.....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.'
Horrified Jane said, 'Tarzan you have it all wrong,
but I will show you how to do it properly.
She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.
'Here' she said, pointing to her privates, 'you must put it in
here.'
Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his
considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in
the crotch!
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually she managed to gasp for air and
screamed 'What did you do that for?'
Tarzan replied, 'check for squirrel.'
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ShamWow is a revolutionary, multi-use cleaning cloth that holds
over 20 times its' weight in liquids. It's like a towel, chamois
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The ShamWow:
- Cleans up spills fast
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- Machine washable
- Perfect for house, boat, car and pets
- Guaranteed to last for 10 years
Act now and we'll double your order. You'll get 8 ShamWow towels for
only $19.95+s/h!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
INS Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a friend who is president of his homeowners association in
the Dallas, Texas suburbs. They were having a terrible problem with
litter near some of his association'
Wallace (my friend) is that six very large, luxurious new houses are
being built right next to their community. The trash was coming from
the Mexican laborers working at the construction sites and included
bags from McDonald's, Burger King and 7-11, plus coffee cups,
napkins, cigarette butts, coke cans, empty bottles, etc. He went to
see the site supervisor and even the general contractor, politely
urging them to get their workers not to litter the neighborhood, to
no avail. He called the city, county, and police and got no help
there either So here's what his community did. They organized about
twenty folks, named themselves The "Inner Neighborhood Services"
group, and arranged to go out at lunch time and "police" the trash
themselves. It is what they did while picking up the trash that is
so hilarious. They bought navy blue baseball caps and had the
initials "INS" embroidered in gold on the caps. It doesn't take a
rocket scientist to understand what they hoped people might
mistakenly think the letters really stand for. After the Inner
Neighborhood Services group's first lunch time pickup detail, with
all of them wearing their caps and some carrying cameras, 46 out of
the total of 68 construction workers did not show up for work the
next morning -- and haven't come back yet. It has been ten days now.
The General Contractor, I'm told, is madder than hell, but can't say
anything publicly because he could be busted for hiring illegal
aliens. Wallace and his bunch can't be accused of impersonating
federal personnel, because they have the official name of the group
recorded in their homeowner association minutes along with a
notation about the vote to approve formation of the new subcommittee
-- and besides, they informed the INS in advance of their plans and
according to Wallace, the INS said basically, "Have at it!" SO,
FOLKS, I THINK YOU COULD SAY THAT TEXAS INGENUITY TRIUMPHS AGAIN!
Reminder: Don't forget to pay your taxes....... 12 million illegal
aliens are depending on you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Compare Auto Insurance Quotes Quickly and Easily.
Save Now!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bar drunk was bragging about his sexual exploits. "You know," he
said, "I once banged a cute little oriental stewardess right there
in
the plane during an overnight flight. Hey, I really put on a
sustained performance that time! I was so damn good they oughta make
a picture about it. Let's see...what would be a good title?"
The bartender yawned and said, "How about Thirty Seconds Over
Tokyo?"
~~~
One day Pebbles Flintstone was in bed with Fred and Wilma. They were
both naked. Pebbles sees Fred's penis and says, "Daddy, what's
that?"
and Fred says "Th-that's..
A little while later Pebbles looks down and sees Wilma's vagina.
"What's that, mommy?" she asks. "Oh.. that.. that's mommy's rock
grinder."
All of a sudden Pebbles sits up and says, "I get it! Daddy puts his
rock
into mommy's rock grinder and out comes pebbles!"
~~~~~
Patient : Doctor, you've got to help me. Every night I get
the urge to go downstairs and stick my dick into the biscuit
tin. Do you know what's wrong with me?
Doctor : Yes ... you're fucking crackers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turn anything into a flashlight and never be left in the dark again!
The world's thinnest flashlight that fits anywhere!
Perfect for cell phones (since you always carry it around)
But also great on Ipods, Cameras, Wallets, Closets and anywhere you
need light!
The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
right at your fingertips
You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
Not available in stores!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slogans for Legalized Marijuana
Got Buzz?
Pot: When You Care Enough Not to Care At All
A Day Without Pot is Like School
Weed My Lips!
Hey, America -- Let's Blow This joint!
What's So Great About Short-Term Memory Anyway?
Obey Your Jones
Hemp: The world's practical solution to
making, like, paper and rope and necklaces and
stuff
It's Not Just For Glaucoma Anymore!
Help Eradicate Road Rage in Our Lifetime
Official Sponsor of the NBA
Because the waste is a terrible thing to mi...
Dude! I totally f***ed that up!
Cannabis: The PRE-Coital Smoke
This is your brain.
This is your brain on pot.
This is your brain desperately searching for
Doritos.
When Was the Last Time You REALLY Looked at
Your Hand?
SMOKE POT! (Did we just say that out loud? Or
did we just think it?)
Recommended by 5 Out of 5 Deadheads
Just Doob It
It's the all-the-time smokey, skunky, sticky,
greeny, seedy, stemmy, doobie
so-you-can-get-
medicine.
Skull-Shaped Bong: $12.00
Primo Maui-Grown Bud: $25.00
Watching Teletubbies with Your Buddies:
Priceless
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny and Little Mary were walking home from school one day.
As they
walked along, they saw two dogs knotted up along side the road,
doing
it,
well, doggy style. "What are they doing, Johnny?" Mary asked. Well,
Little
Johnny, being a man of the world for all his 12 years, knew what
they
were
doing but was embarrassed to say it, so he said, "Well, he's scaring
her."
Little Mary said, "Oh." They walked a little farther, and Little
Mary
said,
"Scare me, Little Johnny." Well, Little Johnny thought, "What the
Hell." So
he took her into the bushes and "scared" her. After they were
finished, they
started walking home again. Pretty soon, they walked past a stallion
mounting a mare in the field. "What are they doing, Little Johnny
?",
she
asked. "Well, he's scaring her." So Little Mary said, "Scare me
again,
Johnny." Well, Little Johnny took her into the bushes and "scared"
her
again. After they were finished, they started walking home again.
Pretty
soon, you guessed it, they saw a bull and a heifer in the field,
going at
it. "What are they doing, Little Johnny?" she innocently (?) asked
again.
"Well, he's scaring her" Little Johnny said once again. After a few
more
minutes of walking, Little Mary said, "Scare me again, Little
Johnny." Now
Little Johnny, being a little tired by now, had just about had
enough, so he
yelled out, "Boo, damn it, boo!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
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cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Talking Dogs
http://silverandgol
A Gift
http://www.wtv-
Mothers At Rest
http://summerhoosie
God's Angel
http://www.reflecti
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to inform that you can easily, and legally, backup
your DVD movie collection to the same inexpensive CDs you've used to
copy music. Now there's no need to go out and purchase an expensive
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This is the software program the movie studios don't want you to
know about.
DVD Copy PRO copies DVD movies to inexpensive blank CDs
PRESS HERE TO LEARN MORE:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Email annoying coworkers anonymously
http://www.annoying
Learn to draw and more
http://www.drawspac
Imagini
http://youniverse.
Yearbook Yourself
http://www.yearbook
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you never have to pay
another cable or satellite bill ever again if you don't want to! The
Internet has made this possible!
You can now download a program online that will allow you to watch
unlimited television from around the world right on your PC! You
will have access to over 2,000 channels. That is more than what you
are getting from your cable or satellite services!
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Pix Resizer
http://bluefive.
Viewable With Any Browser
http://www.anybrows
Holiday Sigs
http://norbert26.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
regular dating site full of people that don't know what they want.
Our singles know EXACTLY what they want!
If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
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Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT
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look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take
advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.
Press here to join for NO COST:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.dogsinca
Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-
Rattlesnake Swimming Via Rose
http://bassfan.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
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I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
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right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Chips
GPS Moses
http://www.buffalos
G Spot
http://www.buffalos
Happy Hump Day
http://www.buffalos
High Blood Pressure
http://www.buffalos
How Far Will A Condom Stretch
http://www.buffalos
Fin Potato Whore
http://www.buffalos
Fire hose Rodeo
http://www.buffalos
Fly
http://www.buffalos
Football As It Should Be
http://www.buffalos
For Men
http://www.buffalos
Zapped
http://www.buffalos
They Don't Make Them Like This Anymore
http://www.buffalos
This Kid Deserves An Oscar
http://www.buffalos
Tolerant Cat
http://www.buffalos
Toll Booth
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sailing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young blonde woman in Michigan City, was so depressed that she
decided to end her life by throwing herself into the channel leading
out to Lake Michigan. She went down to the docks and was about to
leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her
tottering on the edge of the dock, crying her eyes out.
He took pity on her and said, 'Look, you have so much to live
for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow
you away on my ship.
I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day.' Moving
closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, 'I'll
keep
you happy and you'll keep me happy.'
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose?
Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a
lifeboat. >From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches
and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was
discovered by the captain. 'What are you doing here?' the captain
asked.
'I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,'
She explained. 'I get food and a trip to Europe , and he's
screwing me.'
'He certainly is,' the captain said. 'This is the Blue Chip
Casino, and we never leave Michigan City .'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The One Touch Cordless Knife is the portable, lightweight
kitchen tool that slices, dices and chops your favorite foods
in seconds. Just one touch and the high powered motor
moves the blades at 2,000 strokes per minute, so it slices
through the toughest meats, fruits or vegetables. The
Cordless Knife also glides gently through delicate foods
such as breads or desserts.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
show off
http://www.thepostm
that was a good one
http://www.thepostm
we dont care
http://www.thepostm
Damn
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Honeymoon
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Corn Roll
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's
sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and
mess from other methods. Meal time, snack time, every time is the
right time for sliders! And as a limited time offer, you'll receive
a Quick Prep Slicer at no charge.
Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman from Latch,
Who jacked herself off with a match.
She got so excited,
The damn thing ignited,
And burnt all the hair off her snatch.
____________
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born,
And he wouldn't have been,
If his father has seen
That the tip of his condom was torn.
____________
A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm:
The size wasn't much
But its volume was such
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shoes Under - Space Saving Shoe Organizer
Shoes Under stores twelve pairs of shoes under your bed, saving you
valuable closet space. It's the perfect solution for coordinating
not only shoes, but socks, belts, toys and more! Shoes under has a
protective clear, zipper see-through cover keeping dust, moisture
and bugs out. Just slide and store - it's that easy!
Order now and we'll DOUBLE your order!
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave had just returned from his honeymoon and was settling down in
their new apartment. Coming home from work one night the landlady
met Dave in the hallway and said, "I have a couple of extra tickets
to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your new bride
would like to have them?"
"I'll ask her," Dave responded. He opened the door to his apartment
and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist'
tonight?"
"No way!!," his bride retorted, "If you show me one more trick with
that thing, I'm going home to my Mother!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they
came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.
"What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.
The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, "The dog on
top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying
him to the doctor."
"They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?"
"How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.
"Offer someone a helping hand," said the little girl,
"...and they'll screw you every time!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up
to
30 bills on one side and up to six credit cards on the other.
Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
how much or what the abuse, you'll have a lifetime of use,
guaranteed.
It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1515
The Thing is...
Rudy is outside working on his doghouse when Katie comes up: Hey I
have
an idea.
Rudy: What Katie?
Katie: Let's make a run into town and see what is going on.
Rudy: Okay, let's get Sandi.
A few minutes later the three doggies are heading to town..taking
the backroads to avoid the dogcatcher.
Sandi: Sniff sniff...smell that?
Katie: Smells like hamburgers..
Sandi: I am hungry.
Rudy: I can see it. It is McDonalds. Did anyone bring money?
Katie: I brought my credit card. I will treat.
A few minutes later..at the drive through..: May I help you?
Sandi: I would like six quarter pounders with cheese and three
large fries please......
Rudy: I want a quarter pounder and fry.
Katie: Me to.
Sandi: Make it eight quarter pounders and five fries.
Drive around please...
Rudy: In our case we run around..
Later basking under a tree....
Sandi: Burp! I am so full..
Rudy: You should be ole girl.
Katie: Look there is the pizza delivery truck.
Sandi: I am off!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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