THE POSTMAN'S CORNER You will never find a happy woman because you will never find a man with a chocolate penis that ejaculates money  Get cooking with your FREE Calphalon(R) One Anodized 8-pc Cookware Set, a $500 value - yours FREE! Bet you'd think of anything to cook now that your moments away from getting a Calphalon(R) One Anodized 8-pc Cookware Set! This cookware set includes a 10" fry pan, 12" fry pan, 3 qt. covered chef's pan, 4.5 qt. covered sauce pan and an 8 qt. covered stock pot. Learn how to get your FREE cookware set by visiting below! http://www.thepostm  Do you have bad credit? Well, it's not necessarily your fault and everyone needs a chance to rebuild their credit history. That's why we've developed this revolutionary new website! Introducing cards built especially for people with Bad Credit! Apply for the card that suits YOUR needs- regardless of your credit score! Just complete our short online application and receive your approval in just a few minutes. http://www.thepostm  Which diet soda do you prefer? Tell us. Then complete the program requirements for a FREE $100 gift card and $100 worth of soda. http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! Ground hog day is done and Ground hog Phil has predicted 6 more weeks of winter, having seen his shadow. That is ok. I hear the motorcycle languishing in the shed. Calling for me to ride through the summer. I think I will be glad when the time comes. If you have nothing better to do today, you may want to head over to your local Dennys. As they advertised during the superbowl, this is the day they are giving away free breakfast Grand Slams. I personally have never been fond of the restaurant chain. I always found the service to be substandard and the prices always more than considered necessary. Not sure how many are standing in line, but if you don't mind the wait it may be worth heading over there. Supposedly they are doing it up until 2pm. Turk the dog was really upset this morning when I took him out. There were flakes of light fluff falling and altho he barked mightily at them they refused to be scared and go away. Finally, he got down to business and when we came back inside, he promptly curled up and went to sleep and forgot about the outside world. The house was bone chilling cold when I woke up this morning. The war department had dialed the temp down to 55 degrees before she left for work. Apparently she is attempting homicide by turning me into a popsicle. I would not normally mind the cold except my cabin snuggly was laying on the lazyboy and Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat claimed both the chair and the blanket while I sit in the office chair and shiver. He is nice and toasty. But I have not the heart to take the blanket away. I guess I'll have to order another one for the mutt.  a lightweith travel fleece blanket with a foot pocket and shoulder wrap that keeps you warm on car trips, or even at home Right now if you buy two they are only $19.95.for two and it saves you a twenty dollar bill. Recommended by the postman http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS I was hoping http://www.thepostm dang, almost forgot http://www.thepostm abuse the force Luke http://www.thepostm flasher gets a surprise http://www.thepostm after the discovery of fire http://www.thepostm hubby got his days mixed up http://www.thepostm it was an accident http://www.thepostm Bush Bush Bush I'm tired of Bush http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES funny hampsters http://www.thepostm crazy cats and dogs http://www.thepostm McDonald's from the 70s http://www.thepostm barely speak english? http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF child drowning prevention http://www.thepostm Super bowl ad http://www.thepostm Walter Payton-football legend http://www.thepostm ouches in football http://www.thepostm extreme tricycles http://www.thepostm geography class http://www.thepostm RESTROOM POLICY In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees. Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated. Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer- linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period. If the employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken. The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Employee Relations Office. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions ____________ The priest had to be out of town for a few weeks, so a replacement was brought in to hear confessions. During the confessions, several women from the parish told the priest that they had committed adultery. The priest told them that the word "Adultery" was a little strong, and that they should used the word "Slipped" instead. Well, after a few weeks, the regular priest returned, and, not knowing the substitute priests usage of the word "Slip", was surprised to hear that the women thought that slipping was a sin. The priest decided to have a talk with the grounds keeper, telling him that he needed to take better care of the sidewalks, as several of the women were slipping frequently.The grounds keeper (knowing what they had meant), immediately started laughing. The priest looked at him and said "I don't know what you're laughing about, your wife slipped three times last week ____________ A man seeking to join an Texas Sheriff's Department was being interviewed. The Deputy doing the interview said "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted." Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he said, "Take this pistol and ammo and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit. " "Why the rabbit?" "Great attitude," said the Sergeant. "When can you start?" ____________ Beach Catfight Game http://www.funpagee Stunt Dirt Bike http://www.funpagee Sprint Race Game http://www.funpagee 4 Elements Game http://www.funpagee Bricks of Egypt http://www.funpagee The Hebrew teacher says to her class, "We have recently been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" "Aces," says Sarah. ____________ One night this guy and his date were about to go into his apartment, but before he could open his door she said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." The guy says, "Well, give me some examples." The girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me. The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole then that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either." "Very interesting, Then she asked, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?" He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I lick the lock." ____________ "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C.- "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C.- "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D.- "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D.- "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D.- "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2000 A.D.- "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!" ____________ Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the beginning of the line there was a large pile of apples. A nun had written a note, "Take only one, God is watching." At the end of the line there was a large stack of chocolate chip cookies. A boy wrote a note and left it on the cookies that said, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples." ____________ FUN PAGES from Lorraine Around the World in 80 Days http://tinyurl. Mario Racing Game http://tinyurl. BUFFALO Bill Can Topper http://www.buffalos The Finger http://www.buffalos PAPA Thorn Kermit's favorite snacks http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
.
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment