THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Which reality show is your favorite - The Bachelor, The Biggest Loser or American Idol? Vote now for your FREE $500 Visa(R) Gift Card! http://www.thepostm  Which Apple(R) Laptop is your favorite? Choose between a 13" MacBook(R) Aluminum, a MacBook Air(R) or a 15" MacBook(R) Pro and keep your choice for FREE! http://www.thepostm GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS! I was taking a nap yesterday afternoon and woke up suddenly to a loud radio blaring. A couple minutes later there was a lot of commotion outside and when I looked out the window, roofers had shown up to work on the foreclosed house next door. I don't get too excited over a little noise, but about 10 minutes later, I looked out again, and that is when I got a little ticked off. There's like 12 feet of yard they got for space between that house and our property line. And the war department had spent a great deal of the summer planting flowers along the edge of our property. They had taken tools, shingles, a big tarp and etc and basically dumped it on our property and right in the middle of her flower beds. I could have understood if there was a limited amount of space for them to work in, but that wasn't the case. At the risk of being known as the grumpy old man of the neighborhood, I decided it was time to have a talk with the fellas. When I explained that they were trashing my wife's flowers, I got no understanding from them at all, and he said something I won't repeat here. So I rather curtly asked them to get their crap off my land. When the fellas made one more foolish remark to me, I said, "well I tell you what, how bout I go over to your house and throw garbage in your wife's flower bed, you think she would like it?" They removed their junk. I hate to be a pissy neighbor, but I just am not about to let someone else trash our place because of ignorance. It's raining this morning, that's good, no loud radio today. By the way, fellas, if you are a homeowner contractor, maintain a professional work place. Keep your work area cleaned up and be a little respectful of your neighbors. If you present a good image, you might actually get another job or two when people see the good job you are doing. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS gold for cash http://www.thepostm Eat up America! http://www.thepostm you guys are assholes http://www.thepostm don't worry about it http://www.thepostm OK Mr. Johnson http://www.thepostm washin clothes http://www.thepostm which one is it? http://www.thepostm Obama's executive decisions http://www.thepostm if that ain't bad enough http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES one way to beat the tow truck http://www.thepostm what's she doing? http://www.thepostm Ice fishing can really suck sometimes http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF stupid piece of shit that doesn't work http://www.thepostm Happy Valentines day! http://www.thepostm baby outtakes http://www.thepostm gene pool rejects http://www.thepostm Billy Mays could sell you the Brooklyn bridge http://www.thepostm ____________ POWER POINT DISPLAYS The High seas http://www.thepostm the power of mother nature http://www.thepostm best internet images of 2008 http://www.thepostm beauty in all its boldness-for the guys http://www.thepostm One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about this." William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister. His mother just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he says, dear. He's not really your father." ____________ A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things." The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'" The first woman asked, "Did it help?" Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since." ____________ Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now. Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing. ____________ Farm Frenzy Game http://www.funpagee Blackbeard's Island Deluxe http://www.funpagee Shape Solitaire http://www.funpagee Armed Invasion Game http://www.funpagee Trivia Machine http://www.funpagee Jewel Quest Mysteries http://www.funpagee A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot. They take off and the stewardess asks what they would like to drink. "Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist," says the parrot. The businessman orders a coke. After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, "Where's my drink?! Stop fooling around and give me my drink!" The stewardess runs to him with his glass, leaving the businessman still thirsty. Half an hour later the stewardess makes a second round. The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal. The businessman asks for another coke. Again, after a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, "You lazy bitch! Where's my drink!" The poor woman nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the newspaper. The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take his cue from the bird. "Hey,! Will you bring me my damn coke?" Out of nowhere a steward, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane. At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the terrified man, "Wow, that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings." ____________ While shopping in a local grocery store in Georgia, two Baptist sisters Mrs. Betty Johnson and Mrs. Joanne Taylor,wife of the Minister, just happened to pass by the Beer & Wine section. Betty asked Joanne, if she would like a beer. Joanne answered that indeed a cold beer on such a hot day would be nice, but she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it. Betty replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.The cashier had a noticeable shocked look on her face. Betty quickly stated "This is for washing our hair".Without blinking a eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of Pretzels in the bag with the beer and said, "The Curlers are on me." ____________ A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentionedsomething about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and hisgirlfriend pitching woo in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunkthat he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw the spectacle, then walkedback into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the bartender asked. "That dumb Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!" ____________ PAPA Thorn Almost always, actually http://able2laff. FUN PAGES from Lorraine Blackbeard's Island Deluxe http://tinyurl. Butt Scan http://tinyurl. BUFFALO Bill Huge Enemys http://www.buffalos Dating Agency http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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