Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Before I get to the list of holidays for the month
of February I would like to mention that this is also
National Marijuana Month. I also would like to mention
that marijuana possession and use still violates a lot
of state and federal laws. Observe the law or you may
be celebrating Justice Awareness Month followed in
October by Prison Awareness Month.
In Michigan though they passed a medical marijuana initiative
last November. Since then there has been over 3,000, 000
claims of Glaucoma in Detroit alone. Oddly enough there are
only 891,000 people in Detroit.
February 1 is Serpent Day
February 2 is Purification Day
February 3 is Cordova Ice Worm Day
February 4 is Create A Vacuum Day
February 5 is Disaster Day
February 6 is Lame Duck Day
February 7 is Charles Dickens Day
February 8 is Kite Flying Day
February 9 is Toothache Day
February 10 is Umbrella Day
February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
Day
February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day
February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your Sweet Day
February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day
February 15 is National Gum Drop Day
February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day
February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day
February 18 is National Battery Day
February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day
February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day
February 21 is Card Reading Day
February 22 is Be Humble Day
February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day
February 25 is Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)
February 26 is National Pistachio Day
February 27 is International Polar Bear Day
February 28 is Public Sleeping Day
February 29 is National Surf and Turf Day
Enjoy the chips and Go Steelers.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Duck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the days of the Depression, a family had trapped a few ducks. As
they needed some things only money could buy, the father requested
his three sons take a duck each and travel off trying to sell them.
They agreed and headed off on seperate ways.
The youngest of them knocked on the door of a nearby farm house and
a
shapely young blonde farm girl answered the door.
"S'cuse me ma'am" said the guy. "I'm wunderin' if y'd be intrested
in
buyin this here duck frum me". The women replied "I'd sure like me
that plump duck to cook fur our supper, but I aint got no money to
spare". "How about a fuck for it?" she asked. The man didn't
hesitate
and replied "Sure!".
After they'd done the deal, the lonely farm girl said "If'n yer fuck
me again - ya can have the duck back".
So he did, and afterwards headed off along the road with the duck
still under his arm. Soon a large truck roared past the man which
frightened the duck so much that it jumped out of his arms and right
under the wheels where it was squashed.
The truck driver stopped and got out to speak with the man who
explained that he was out trying to get money for his family by
selling the duck. The truck driver felt remorse and offered the guy
a
dollar for his trouble. The man agreed and headed for home with the
money in his pocket.
That evening as they all gathered around the table, the father asked
them how they did.
The first son replied "I done good pa, I got me three dollars fur my
duck".
The second son replied "I done better 'n him pa, I got five
dollars".
Then the third son leaned back in his chair showing a cheeky grin
and
said "I done better 'n all uf yers, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck
for a fuck and a buck for a fucked up duck!".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
wedding day
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no parking
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cool movies
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Real World
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Results of a recent survey show that there are 7 kinds of sex:
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex
* This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both
have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and
you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your
sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your
bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When
you
pass each other in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex
* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and
Nun at night.(Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex
* This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to
court and screws you in front of everyone.
And; Last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex
* You get a little each month. But not enough to live on!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think my sister's marriage will last. Her new husband has a
foot fetish, and on their honeymoon, he got off on the wrong foot.
Conversation between wife and husband over chessboard: "This reminds
me when we were dating." "We never played chess in those days,
Gladys." "No, but even then it took you two hours to make a move."
Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage? She was
strapped for cash.
Two lesbians who would like to have a child visit the local adoption
agency. The agency does some background research. When they are
completed, the couple returns and is told, "Sorry, we don't give
minors to lickers
What do you call a faggot in the navy?
A Rear Admiral.
What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
What do a Speedo and a cheap hotel have in common?
No ball room.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is
to cluck
defiance
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pane Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pastor of a church was taking his first trip away on a Sunday,
and
he asked another pastor to come in and preach the service for him.
The
substitute pastor agreed to come. He was quite young, just out of
seminary, and this was his first time preaching.
When he got up to speak on Sunday, he tried to explain to the
congregation why he'd come, and give them some comfort about it. He
pointed up to the stained glass windows to illustrate this. "You see
where there's a missing pane, and there's a piece of cardboard over
it? That's sort of what I'm doing. I'm just filling in the space
until
your pastor returns."
He went on about this a little bit, then went into his sermon. The
young substitute pastor gave a wonderful, inspired talk that Sunday.
After the service, a lovely old woman came up to him, took his hand,
and said, "Pastor, don't you ever let anyone say that you're like
that
piece of cardboard. Believe me, you are the real pane!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A white guy is involved in a horrible car accident and is partly
mangled in the wreckage. Among the other injuries, and perhaps the
most traumatic, was that his penis had been severed. Anyway, a few
days later in the hospital once his condition was stabilized, a
doctor came to see him about picking out a new penis to be sewn on
later.
"Wow, I didn't even know they could do that," said the patient.
"Well, all you have to do is look through this catalog and pick the
one you want and we can take care of the rest," the doctor assured
him.
So, the guy starts flipping through the catalog and finds some
prospects in the first few pages. As he gets near the end though, he
comes across some abnormally large options. "Man! I didn't know they
got that big!" he cried. Then turned the page and again, "Holy shit,
that's even bigger!"
The next page had an even bigger member that he could choose. Filled
with excitement he yells down the hall, "Hey Doc, do any of these
big
ones come in white?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The One Touch Cordless Knife is the portable, lightweight
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Fourth Grade concert is fast approaching and Johnny has still
not
decided what he will do. Little Sarah is going to do a piano solo,
Mikey will recite a poem, but Johnny can't come up with anything.
Finally, his frustrated teacher is relieved when he tells her he has
worked out his act.
Come the night of the concert, all the proud parents fill the hall
and watch as Sarah, in her prettiest dress, tickles the ivories to
rapturous applause.
Then Mikey steps out in his best suit and recites his poems to the
delight of the audience.
Finally, out comes Johnny, in checked shirt and denim overalls. He
steps up to the microphone and says: "Ladies and Gentlemen. My uncle
owns a farm and every holiday my family visits him there. His wife,
my aunt Martha, always cooks a real down-home country meal for us
all, and we feast and stuff ourselves silly, for days on end.
Tonight, I would like to share with you my impression of some of the
many sounds I hear on my uncle's farm. Here is the first: "Johnny!
Why don't you get your ass off the shitter and give someone else a
chance?!""
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Apple Butter
http://www.silveran
John w/ Happy Groundhog Day
http://heavens-
Wonderland
http://www.poetryby
Panda bear Summer
http://www.joe-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
NFL.com - Official Site of the National Football League
http://www.nfl.
Valentine Day Sites
http://www.rexanne.
Chainmaille
http://www.lostinth
Roadside America
http://www.roadside
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Bios Beep Codes
http://www.computer
http://www.pcguide.
Heart Maker
http://www.acme.
Web Design~ New~Color Find Tool
http://simplysally.
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Animal World
Doggie Zone Via Ken
http://www.youtube.
Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Delete
http://www.buffalos
Devon Michaels Naked Joke
http://www.buffalos
Duck Job
http://www.buffalos
Excedrin
http://www.buffalos
Excuse Me Miss
http://www.buffalos
Honey
http://www.buffalos
How The Brits Taxi Jets
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Idiots
http://www.buffalos
Indien
http://www.buffalos
Intro To Christ
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Janet," asked the Sunday school bible teacher, "Tell the class,
please who was the first man?" "I'd rather die first!" she snapped.
"What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement?" "Well,
although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a
lot to be desired."
I think I'm going to give up on being a flasher and retire --
although
I might try to stick it out for another year.
Vinnie and Hank are drinking, when Vinnie leans over and starts
stroking Hank's beard. Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my
wife's pussy." Hank strokes it himself and says, "You're right."
What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it - we're closed.
What's blue and comes in Brownies?
Cub Scouts.
What's the slogan for the new tampon?
"We may not be number one, but we're still up there!"
What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School
reunion?
At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dogs Anonymous
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House Restaurant
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Love
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boobs
Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble
Mine just stay still in one place
In the breast hall of fame
You won't see my name
For my boobs there would be a disgrace
Sure boobs of my size have their merit
They're easy to fit with a bra
And when I go for a dip
You won't see one slip out
They stay put just where they are
And I'm not one to seek much attention
So you won't find me strutting about
In a boob tube that's trying
by gravity defying
to leave no room, not even for doubt
But I sure envy big breasted women
I've seen them at parties you know
With all confidence thrust
In their mighty big bust
Entrancing the men as they go
Though I've heard from a big bosomed buddy
That it's not all it's cracked up to be
She says in frustration
"Try to hold conversation
When there's only two things a guy sees"
Now if I paid a few grand to enlarge them
To, say thirty-six b or c
Would they still look so natural
And could I class them as collateral
Sorta like home improvements on me
Now I've not taken this boob thing just lightly
I've done quite a bit of research
As I try to keep abreast
In my mammary quest
I've found there's a bit to be learned
There's questions that need to be answered
Like cleavage, how wide and how deep
I can have nipples bigger
But somehow I figured
That could poke Sweetie's eye in his sleep
Oh, I wish I had boobs that were awesome
I'd buy a bright red bathing suit
On the beach I would run
In slow motion for fun
To show off my best attribute
Now don't think I'd just get them for vanity
There's much I'd aspire to do
I could feed many babies
When I was lactating
And for convenience, I could offer drive-thru
In a t-shirt I'd test air conditioning
They could 'see' if they had it too low
And if I stood outside
My breasts pumped up with pride
Police'd use me to stop traffic flow
Well you can see I've a lot to consider
For the big plunge, I need some more time
So I'll keep you updated
But for now they're just fated
To stay as they are for a while
And there's my sweetie who totally accepts me
For he loves each and every little bit
He says "stay as you are
You're the most beautiful by far"
As he gazes into my eyes not my tits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three hockey fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a
foot
sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and
discovered a nude female drunk and passed out.
Out of respect for the lady, the Calgary fan took off his cap and
placed it over her right breast. The Vancouver fan took off his cap
and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Leaf
fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted
his
inspection. First, he lifted up the Calgary cap, replaced it, and
wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Vancouver cap, replaced
it, and wrote down some more notes.
The officer then lifted the Leaf cap, replaced it, then lifted it
again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last
time.
The Leaf fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a
pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting
and looking?"
" Well, " said the officer. " I am simply surprised. Normally when I
look under an Toronto Maple Leaf's hat, I find an ass-hole."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
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With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: I was always pleased by the sexual generosity of my ex. Every
time we did it, he always made sure that I was satisfied first.
Jill: Well, that's very nice!
Mary: Yeah, but I wasn't so pleased when I found out that he
extended the same generosity to the babysitter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up
to
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Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
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no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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