Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The MSN homepage today had an article about the ten items
that people miss the most. It had a variety of products that are
no longer manufactured in their original form or at all ranging
from the Polaroid Camera to Postum to the Today sponge. It
then asked for a list of items that you missed. I guess my choice
would have to be the old double edge razor. I have always been
one to let my beard grow and then something will pop up I
need to look decent for and I have to whack a goatee and
mustache out of a faceful of hair. Even attacking it at first with
scissors and a pair of clippers I am still left with something that
clogs all of the multiple blade razors about a thousand times
before I am done.
The best razor I ever had was one of the old gold ones that had
three pieces. You unscrewed the handle separated the two halves
and put a double edge blade in and reassembled. The clearances
were greater and even if it did clog up, you loosened the handle
a turn or two and it rinsed right out. Used a heck of a lot less
water
during shaving too and you could probably do the job in a cup of
water instead of having a tap running full blast. I think my next
favorite was made by Shick and was a cartridge razor with a single
edge blade on a roll. A twist of the little handle would bring up a
fresh
edge and when you ran out you swapped cartridges.
So what do you miss that they don't make anymore?
Yahoo Groups has been busy rolling out some new features over
the last. This has caused some delays in mail delivery and even a
few remarks of multiple deliveries that could be Yahoo and could
be standard email problems.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Poker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped
some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick
them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear
under
her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again,
hit
his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Jim went to the
kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked,
'Did
you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her
boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well,
you
can have it but it will cost you $500.' After taking a minute or two
to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms
that he is interested. Sue told him that since her husband Bob
worked
Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around
2
p. m. Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at
Bob's house at 2 p.. m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of
$500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as
agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bob came home from
work at 6 p. m. And upon arriving, asked his wife, 'Did Jim come by
the house this afternoon?' With a lump in her throat Sue answered
'Why
yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart
nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he
give
you $500?' Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in
fact he did give me $500.' Bob, with a satisfied look on his face,
surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning
and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this
afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
viagra
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the book
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potato chips
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Honeymoon
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He Likes You
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Corn Roll
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sandwich Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy nearing the end of his senior year in high school
unfortunately still has to share a room with his brother who is only
9 years old.
One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is
already on the lower bunk. So he and his girlfriend climbed into the
top bunk.
As you expected, things began to heat up. The guy remembers that his
brother is sleeping below, so he tells his girlfriend to whisper,
"Lettuce" if she wants it harder, and "Tomato" if she wants a new
position.
She screams, "Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Whoa!!!
Pull It Out Now! I Can't Get Pregnant!"
Then the little brother shouts, "Hey, would you two guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spark Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young Tim has just finished high school and, not being too bright,
he
wants to get a job at a local mechanic's workshop in Christchurch.
Tim spies this advert for a job in a Motor Spares Shop and hurries
over. Unfortunately, when he steps in there are already 2 guys there
before him. Tim with tears in his eyes explains to the manager that
he really needs the job. Manager looks at him and says, "You know
what Tim - I'd really like to give you this job but see these two
guys are here before you .. you're going to have be really something
special to get this job you know!" Tim thinks now, mmmm, and then he
says, "well boss, there is one thing - if you take a spark plug and
stick it into my arse - I can tell you what type of spark plug it
is." The manager goes "Wow .. that's something - lets test you out!"
So Tim turns around and drops his pants. The boss takes a Bosch
spark plug and shoves it into Tim's arse. Tim
goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... Bosch!!". The boss, goes .. "Wow, that's
really something - but lets test you out again!" He takes a NGK
spark
plug and shoves it into Tim's arse. Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee .....
NGK !!". The boss, goes .. "Wow, you're really good .. but, one
more time - I need to be sure. " Boss thinks now, lets catch this
guy out! He unzips his pants, takes out his penis and sticks it into
Tim's arse. Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeeee .... Champion!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lion Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gorilla is walking through the jungle. He parts the bushes by the
watering hole and sees a lion taking a drink of water with his butt
sticking up in the air.
The gorilla thinks to himself that it would be really funny if he
snuck
up
behind this "King of the Jungle" and slipped him the ol' Liberace.
So
the
gorilla sneaks up on his tiptoes behind the lion, grabs him by the
hips,
and starts fucking him up his ass as hard as he can.
Then he pulls out and runs away, laughing his head off. He thinks
it's
the funniest thing he's ever done in his life, fucking the "King of
the
Jungle" up the ass.
The lion is pissed. "Rrroooooaarrrr!
gorilla.
Now, the gorilla can't run very fast, and the lion keeps getting
closer
and closer, so the gorilla ducks into an empty safari camp, puts on
a
set
of safari cloths with the pith helmet and everything, picks up a
paper,
sits down with the paper held up in front of his face, and makes
like
he's
reading it.
Just then, the lion walks in. "Rrroooooaarrrr!
just
see a big gorilla run through here?"
The gorilla starts shaking under the paper. "Uh, you mean the one
that
just f-fucked the lion up the ass?" he stutters.
The lion sits up with a start and says, "Jesus! It's in the paper
already!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new
drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a
convent?
The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit forming.
A guy cuddled up to his wife and softly whispered into her ear:
"Could we make love, please dear?"
She rolled over away from him. "Not tonight, darling, I've got a
splitting headache," she replied rather tersely.
Too horny to read the obvious signals the husband pleaded. "Please,
honey. I'll only stick it in for a minute"
"What do you think I am," his wife retorted, "a fucking microwave?"
Doug and Bill were discussing the new secretary at
their office.
Doug to Bill: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we
had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my
wife!"
Two days later.
Bill to Doug: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as
well, but she sure isn't a lot better than your wife."
~~~~~
Mary: Don't you just hate when you want ONE cookie, but you have to
buy whole bag to get one?
Jill: Right! Or maybe you want ONE doughnut, but you have to buy the
whole box of a dozen!
Mary: And the hotel charges for the whole night when you're going to
use it for only a couple of hours!
~~~~~
Doug went to a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm really worried about
my wife. Yesterday she posed for a nude picture."
The psychiatrist said, "Well I wouldn't worry about that. It's
probably just an expression of her interest in art. What was the
nude
picture for?"
Doug said, "Her driver's license."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
ORG Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hello, help desk." "Yes, this is Mrs. Duffy on the sixth floor. I
want to report a violation of company policy."
"What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Duffy?"
"I have found some of the computers in the office here are being
used to look at orgies."
"We have filtering software on the network that prevents sites like
that from being displayed."
"Well, I just sat down at one of the computers and clicked on the
bookmarks."
"And there's a list of pornographic sites?"
"I should say so. Quite a few."
"They should be blocked by the filter. Did you click on them?"
"I didn't have to. They say dot O-R-G and I've been around long
enough to know what that means."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Peaceful Memories
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carolyn w/ Take Good Care Of My Baby
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Senior Stimulus Via Sally
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timulus_payments.
Lent
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To Give Away Sea Shadow
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Meez
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I Neighbors
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
PHP Calendar
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Twisted Brush Open Studio
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Thirty Days With Linux
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Movie Clips
Milk
http://www.buffalos
Money
http://www.buffalos
What Came Over Me (Buffalo Made Me Do This)
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Mum
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My New Country Song
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The Elevator
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Bud Light BBQ
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Christmas Lights On House
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Court House Shooting Idiot
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know
that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get
married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny
are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing that he had ever heard,
Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you
two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny
replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit
there nicely." Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says
with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old
enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny
instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I
make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should
do us just fine." By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that
Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment
trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer
to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like
you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more
question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have
little ones of your own?" Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says
"Well, we've been lucky sofar" Mr. Smith doesn't think the little
s**t is adorable anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Black Boyfriend
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Overqualified
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Oscar
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Crystal Meth
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Celery freak! (naughty alert)
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Canadian sporting event
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g
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Slap Chop is a manual chopper machine that works when you slap
the plunger part. Every slap triggers the 3 blades below to chop and
cut the food. The more you slap the
Slap Chop, the finer the food gets.
Chop up potatoes for home fries, or add mushrooms and green peppers
for a tasty side to
your eggs. Even use the Slap Chop for vegetables like carrots,
celery and radishes for an
instant salad. Nuts and chocolate are chopped easy for toppings on
ice-cream. The Slap Chop
is great for onions and even garlic so your fingers don't smell and
it saves time. The Slap Chop's
base opens up to expose the blades for easy cleaning.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a poor man named Crocket
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch,
So she cranked on the switch,
And Crocket took off like a rocket!
____________
There once was a woman from New Zealand
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
____________
There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
But he hadn't the knack,
And he got too far back --
In the right church, but in the wrong pew.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know how everything in Texas is bigger than anywhere else? Well,
there was this Texan living in Bristol a while back. Huge fellow he
was, had to duck under all but the highest of doorways, and often
had
to go through sideways. And he was always going on about how much
bigger things were back home, used to really bore everyone senseless
with his bragging.
Anyway, he died one day, and wound up in a mortuary where a friend
of
mine worked. Charlie was telling me about the trouble they had,
trying to find a coffin big enough to plant him in. They looked
everywhere, but there was nothing that even came close, and it would
take time to have one specially made. "So what did you do?" I asked.
"Oh," said Charlie, "it was simple, really. We gave him an enema and
buried him in a shoe box."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy came home from work, "Honey, where are you?"
"I'm upstairs douching," his wife answered.
"I told you never to talk like that!" he yelled.
"What do you want," she called out, "good grammar or good taste?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
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The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
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With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was published in the Daily Oklahoman
Challenges, A Roadblock Or a Building Block
When in the Air Force I received a head injury that caused me to
have
seizures. It kept me from making the Air Force a career. I served
my one
hitch, four years but was discharged with a normal discharge with an
* on
my discharge papers meaning with medical circumstances. I found out
that
* kept me from obtaining jobs..factory jobs, driving jobs,
construction jobs.
I became depressed. So I searched inward and decided to not look at
what
I could not do, but what I could do. I have been in the ISD
business since
1971, I got discharged from the military in 1966. I also have done
consulting work and even preached at four churches. I am a
certified
lay counselor (Stephen Minister). I feel that I came to the fork in
the road
and my disability offered opportunities not limitations. I also
have written
stories that have been in several books...so I can say from
experience
our limitations are in our mind. Oh yes, I have 27 grandchildren
and
2 great grandchildren and a loving spouse.
BJ Cassady
Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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