Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I skipped talking about the Super Bowl yesterday because of
Groundhog's Day. Started off Sunday by sending Buffy to K-mart
for 3-D glasses for the commercials planned during half time and
they gave her 12 pair that had to be cut apart because even though
they were perforated, the plastic lenses were all one sheet. They
were also so dark you couldn't see well through them so that
killed the idea of trying to get a 3-D effect while driving at
night.
Buffy also stopped and got a case of beer, a bottle of some flavor
of Pucker, and a bottle of Aftershock. She then stopped and picked
up a bag of every variety of chips in the store and enough sub
materials to feed an army which seemed overkill because we were
only having 8 people to watch the game and three were children.
We cleared a large space in one bedroom to erect the 7x7 ft
inflatable bouncing gym for Eva. They enjoyed it although with the
blower running constantly it was better suited to the outside, and
with a weight limit of 185 pounds I wasn't going to be trying it
anytime
soon.
The game in itself was great even though it was low scoring. I had
picked Pittsburgh ahead of time along with Buffy and the others were
rooting for Arizona. Sandy enjoyed the half time show but I thought
the acoustics in the stadium were poor and the crowd should have
shut up. The 3-D commercial was a waste of time although it may
have been better with a 60 inch plasma. Sobe and K-mart should
consider giving those away next time. I rewatched all of the
commercials several times with Eva yesterday morning and she
seemed to like the Potato heads commercial and the love between
the Budweiser Clydesdale and the Dancing horse the best. I agree
with the latter because I have always loved the Bud commercials.
Eva had another 3 year old to play with and they had a great time
racing through the house on Big Wheels and feeding Imaginary food
to the guests prepared in her play kitchen.
All in All it was a good party, though most of the beer is still in
the
fridge and the bottle of Aftershock got dumped by Eva as she was
trying to see what was in the bottle. Most of the chips went back to
Buffy's house and I got to figure what to do with all the leftover
cold cuts and Parmesan Bread.
Today is Buffy's 28th birthday and we have a cake and gifts here for
her so I better get my butt in gear and do a few errands before they
get here.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Shoe Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the
highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will
you take off your clothes?"
She agrees and he begins to speed up. When the speedometer hits
100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off he is so
busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car.
The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her
boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads.
She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your
snatch with that and go get help."
She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station
down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the
attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!"
"I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
dating hazzards of eskimos
http://www.thepostm
don't get excited
http://www.thepostm
now thats a good question
http://www.thepostm
Hard Chair
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Self Service
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Need Help With Your Aim?
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can understand why men don't like vasectomies. My uncle got a
vasectomy, and paid for it with Mastercard. He forgot to pay the
bill,
and the finance company came over to his house and knocked up my
aunt.
"If there was a 'Bi-Sexual Pride' parade, would it go both ways?"
A middle-aged woman seemed timid as she visited her gynecologist.
"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years!
There's nothing you can't tell me." "This one's kind of strange..."
said the woman. "Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.
"Well," said the woman, "Yesterday I went to the bathroom in the
morning and I heard a plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down,
the water was full of pennies." "Mmmm, I see." said the, doctor.
"That
afternoon I went again and there were nickels in the bowl."
"Uh-huh."
the doctor said as he got more and more interested in her story.
"That
night," she went on, "there were dimes and this morning there were
quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!" she implored.
"I'm scared out of my wits!" The gynecologist put a comforting hand
on
her shoulder. "There is nothing to be frightened about. You're
simply
going through the change."
95% of all people have hemorrhoids. The other 5% are perfect
assholes!
A man goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks the assistant
for
an inflatable doll. "Would you like male of female?" "Female,
please."
"Would you like Black, or White?" "White, Please." "Would you like
Christian or Muslim?" This question confused the man and he replied,
"What has the religion got to do with it? It's an inflatable doll!"
"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Implant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women
the chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button.
Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal
generator in the skin under the buttocks.
The patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote.
Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant:
1. Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at
Radio Shack.
2. Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of cover
story headlines.
3. Dad: now surfs with two remotes Mom: never complains
4. She never wants to cuddle anymore -- it's click, click, click,
and she's out the door.
5. The Baptists hurriedly draft an extra Commandment.
6. Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you're looking at
$2,000 to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your
car.
7. The Energizer Bunny keeps coming and coming...
8. "Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumbache."
9. Finally, size really *doesn't* matter.
10. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention...
I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention... I'm
sorry..."
11. Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable
urge to shout your surgeon's name.
12. Side effects? Who cares about... oh... *oh*... OH, GOD!
YESSSSSS!!!!
13. In addition to "Mute" and "Favorite," the wildly popular Radio
Shack Ultimate Universal Remote now has a new button: "Big O."
14. Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their
partner... errr, never mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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* Better quality of sleep
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny is sitting on the front porch steps, and his
17-year-old
sister is sitting in the swing in a dress with no panties. She
notices
Johnny trying to get a look up her dress so she picks up her knees
and
spreads her legs and asked "Johnny, what do you think about my
WILDCAT?" Johnny looks up, stares all bug-eyed and replies, "That's
a
mean motherfucker, sis!" Sis asks, "Why do you think he's mean?"
Johnny says, "Just look at him, sis, he's got blood in one eye and
shit in the other!"
The waitress at the Greek beanery married the boss, and they seemed
quite happy. But one day she sued him for divorce. Her charge: He
was
indifferent.
Just because your penis surgery was not successful is no reason to
go
off half-cocked.
If sex was sold in a grocery store, there's gonna be confusion over
"Trix on Aisle 3" and "Tricks" on Aisle 10.
You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart. The
music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a
couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod!
Band Members do it in front of 100,000 people
Cross Poster: A transvestite who abuses newsgroups
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
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You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
Not available in stores!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Canary Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim strolls into the paint section of a hardware store and walks up
to
the assistant.
"I'd like a pint of canary-colored paint," he says.
"Certainly," says the clerk. "Mind if I ask why you need it?"
"My parakeet," says Jim. "See, I want to enter him in a canary
contest.
He sings so sweetly that I know he's sure to win."
"Well, you can't do that, Man!" the assistant says. "The chemicals
in
the paint will almost certainly kill the poor thing!"
"No, they won't," Jim replies.
"Listen, Buddy, I'll bet you ten bucks your parakeet dies if you try
to
paint him."
"You're on!" says Jim.
Two days later Jim comes back looking very sheepish and puts ten
bucks
on the counter in front of the clerk.
"So the paint killed your bird?"
"Indirectly,
didn't survive the sanding between coats."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: I'm sorry I'm a bit late! My cab driver almost had a wreck
getting me here!
Jill: What happened?
Mary: The driver in front of him started to go when the light turned
green, but he slammed on the brakes to look at a gal on the sidewalk
who was wearing a mini-skirt. My driver almost hit him in the rear!
Jill: My goodness! How short was the skirt?
Mary: Well, she was wearing blue panties!
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes
all
their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and
good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put
in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the
stove.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when
you take
them around the block.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag
about
it
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - did it ever happen??
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or
extremely small.
What is a man's idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The One Touch Cordless Knife is the portable, lightweight
kitchen tool that slices, dices and chops your favorite foods
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moves the blades at 2,000 strokes per minute, so it slices
through the toughest meats, fruits or vegetables. The
Cordless Knife also glides gently through delicate foods
such as breads or desserts.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Boy and A Dream
http://silverandgol
Rick w/Love Thee
http://wtv-zone.
Marlene w/ When We all Get To Heaven
http://summerhoosie
Carolyn w/Blue Eyes Crying
http://carolynsprec
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to inform that you can easily, and legally, backup
your DVD movie collection to the same inexpensive CDs you've used to
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This is the software program the movie studios don't want you to
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DVD Copy PRO copies DVD movies to inexpensive blank CDs
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
write a letter to the president
http://www.whitehou
CAKE RECIPES
http://community-
Stimulus Watch
http://www.stimulus
Hand Speak
http://www.handspea
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you never have to pay
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6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Deleting Files
http://www.malwareb
Rootkit Scan
http://www.f-
Mcafee Site Advisor
http://www.siteadvi
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
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If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.xmission
Kitty Korner
http://www.xmission
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customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Chips
Flashlights
http://www.buffalos
Football
http://www.buffalos
Football Season
http://www.buffalos
Fruit Cake
http://www.buffalos
Fruit Cake Lady
http://www.buffalos
Katen Luikje
http://www.buffalos
Korokurum Bridges
http://www.buffalos
Look
http://www.buffalos
Microsoft No More Keyboards
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Motel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys are getting drunk in a bar talking.
One was going on and on about a motel he and his wife had stayed
at.
"I tell ya," he said excitedly, "this place was cool. It had a
Jacuzzi, a sex swing, hell it had a contraption that we just
couldn't
figure out what to do with--so I shoved it up her ass."
"Really? Hmmmm," his friend said.
"You gotta take your wife there."
"My wife? I'm not taking my wife, she won't do any of that stuff.
I'm
thinking I'll take your wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proctologist
http://able2laugh.
Safe oral sex
http://able2laugh.
Same outfit
http://able2laugh.
Money Worries http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Virginity YES
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Romance
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pup Light
PupLight - Keep Your Pup Lit Up Keep you and your pet safe at
night with Puplight! With Puplight you'll see what's in your path
plus drivers and other animals will see you approaching before
it's too late. Whether you're with him or not, help them see and
make them visible. Now avaialble in four fun colors: black, blue,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorous abbot.
"Although it's more fun,
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"
(Mike Spence)
____________
A young schizophrenic named Struthers
When told of the death of his brother
Said, "Yes, it's too bad,
But I don't feel so sad
Remember, I still have each other."
____________
A motorist by name of Eileen
Wondered why a traffic light "green"
Means to go right ahead --
While we all stop on red,
And speed up on the yellow between
(Lee Daniel Quinn)
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shoes Under - Space Saving Shoe Organizer
Shoes Under stores twelve pairs of shoes under your bed, saving you
valuable closet space. It's the perfect solution for coordinating
not only shoes, but socks, belts, toys and more! Shoes under has a
protective clear, zipper see-through cover keeping dust, moisture
and bugs out. Just slide and store - it's that easy!
Order now and we'll DOUBLE your order!
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every neighborhood has its own Casanova and Bill was the one who
always got the most pussy on his block. When he smiled, he had pussy
written all over his face. Unfortunately, lately his prowess had
fallen off a bit. Bill went to his doctor to complain about what was
happening. The doctor was in awe; he couldn't believe it. "Bill,"
he said, "how could this happen?" Everyone in this area knows you as
the King of Pussy you have an incredible reputation." Bill continued
to complain to the doctor and said, "What good is a reputation if
you
can't make it stand up!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a fireman who was very regimental and did everything by
the bell. He gets married and on his honeymoon night explains this
to his new wife.
Fireman: "Honey, I do everything by the bell, so when we hear one
bell (ding), we run upstairs; two bells (ding ding), we get
undressed and; three bells (ding ding ding) we make wild passionate
love."
Wife: "OK sweetheart, I understand."
So the night goes on and soon you hear one bell (ding) they run
upstairs; two bells (ding ding) they get undressed and; three bells
they start making wild, passionate love to each other. All of a
sudden...
Wife: "Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding."
Fireman: "Honey, honey, what's that for?"
Wife: "More hose, more hose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up
to
30 bills on one side and up to six credit cards on the other.
Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
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guaranteed.
It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many people don't realize the Medicare provides only limited
coverage.
Long Term Care Insurance helps you to protect your assets and ensure
that you will be cared for after retirement.
Visit our Long Term Care Information site and we'll tell you all
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Learn how to protect your assets.
Visit today to receive the free 45 Page Insiders Guide to Long Term
Care Insurance and your quote from a licensed local professional.
Don't wait, please visit the link below.
Long Term Care: http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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