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COLGATE MAX FRESH is your daily anti-cavity toothpaste with the added benefits of teeth-whitening agents plus mini breath strips that dissolve instantly inside your mouth for a lasting fresh breath experience http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/ce/4537.html GOOD MORNIG POSTMAN FANS! It has been raining steadily here in West Michigan since about 3 yesterday afternoon. Temps hit a remarkable 50 degrees. When it gets that hot outisde, that is when Michiganders start asking, "Hot enough for ya?" or "What do you think of this heat wave." That probably sounds pretty silly to a lot of you southerners, but believe me, if you spent one winter in Michigan, you could relate. The nice thing about it is that it is melting the snow fast and furious. Turned the streets into rivers yesterday and there are flash flood warnings for all the counties. I am glad for the rain myself, but Turk the dog, aka "Carlos the rat" does not like rain any more than snow. When it started raining, I called to the dog, "Wanna go out?" And of course his ears perked up, tail wagging and he got all excited. Then I opened the door do so he could see out. The poor little critter drooped his tail and turned and ran back to his cage and didn't make a sound since. There is nothing more pitiful looking than him when he comes in all sopping wet and he looks up at you with a sad look on his face like, "Grandpa, can't you make it all go away?" Some folks asked me why I call him "the rat." Altho the mutt is supposed to be a purebred chihuahua, according to my daughter, he most likely is not. He has the facial features reminiscent of a rat terrier, and he stands about 10 pounds. That is a little large for a chihuahua. And quite frankly, if he did see a mouse or a rat, he would probably turn tail and run for cover. Yesterday, when we were out, Oscar spied us. Oscar is the neighborhood calico cat. He has been a member of the neighborhood as long as anyone can remember, altho no one really knows who Oscar reaally belongs to. We all take a turn at tossing out a few scraps to him, and he has no problem munching on a handful of Turk's dog food now and then, either. If you don't toss him a handout at least occasionally, he will make quick work of the garbage and let you know he is still around. Apparently, judging by his size, its a good life for Oscar. He is pretty fat for a cat and is almost as big as Turk. Normally pretty shy, Oscar came up to within four feet of Turk to investigate. Turk is a chicken and he immediately retreated betwen my legs before Oscar lost his nerve and ran away himself. It took a large amount of whining and whimpering for Turk to convince me that the walk should be done. Apparently Turk was about as scared of Oscar as meeting up with aliens. I hope it does not freeze this weekend, because that could turn things into a mess. They are predicting temps in the teens tomrrow. That is ok, though. This is the "war department's" weekend off and there is nothing important to do so we can hybernate. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS you don't understand http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r051.html Marsha I need my dog http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r052.html signs of the times http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r053.html I told you a hundred times http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r055.html my new file clerk http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r057.html wonder why they would want to? http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r058.html carry on putting rubbish in your mouth. a tacky anti smoking ad http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r059.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES the lotion the boy and the beach http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5005.html hell of a way to brush your teeth http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5006.html from the back porch http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5007.html a farmer milks the cow http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5008.html Jay Lenno: BooBoo the chicken http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5009.html INTERESTING STUFF North Platte, NE http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2095.html ask your doctor http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2096.html what 500k$$ will get you world wide http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2097.html COOL PICS http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fan/fan95.html _______________ The old gentleman was aging more rapidly than he wanted. "Your gout is getting worse," said the doctor. "I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking and sex for a while." "WHAT!" said the man, "just so's I can walk a little better? If it wasn't for smoking, drinking and sex I wouldn't get out of my rocker in the first place!" ________________ Little Johnny's father decided it was time for14-year-old Little Johnny, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor. He introduces Little Johnny to the madam, and explains that it's time for his indoctrination to sex. The madam says, "You've been such a good customer over the years, I'm going to see to this personally." So she takes Little Johnny by the hand and leads him upstairs, where she completes his deflowering. Later, as they are walking downstairs the madam says, "Since this is your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full treatment before you leave. I'm going to give you a manicure." Two weeks later Little Johnny and his father run into the madam on the main street. Little Johnny is acting a little shy, so the madam smiles and says, "Well, Little Johnny, don't you remember me?" "Yes, Ma'am, " Little Johnny stammers, "you're the lady that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em." _____________ Once upon a time in China lived two men whose names were I KUM and NO KUM. NO KUM was married to a young and very pretty girl named NO KUM TU, while I KUM was single. One night I KUM went to see is friend NO KUM. Upon arriving at NO KUM'S home, I KUM found out that NO KUM was not at home. NO KUM'S wife NO KUM TU invited I KUM to stay the night with her. T hat night NO KUM TU came which gave I KUM great pleasure as I KUM came too. After a time NO KUM found out that he was going to be a father, but NO KUM didn't know how come. When the little child was born, NO KUM named him HOW KUM YOU KUM. But NO KUM TU and I KUM know how come, HOW KUM YOU KUM came. Until this day NO KUM doesn't know how come, HOW KUM YOU KUM came. _________________ Flip Words http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38742&s=n The Legend of Dragon Fist http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=37463&s=n Trivia Machine http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38760&s=n Holiday Express http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38745&s=n Restaurant Romance http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38978&s=n High School Library http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38967&s=n Mary: Well, I've never known anyone so forward! This perfect stranger just walked up to me at the party and asked, "How would you like some mind-blowing, earth-shaking, window-shattering sex?" Jill: I can't believe it! Mary: Neither could I! When I told him, "No, thanks!" he just added, "Well, would you mind lying down so that I could have some?" _______________ Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. Q: What's the difference between a woman of today and a Computer? A: A woman of today won't accept a three and a half inch floppy. _______________ You might be having a bad day if... Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 hell's angels. You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold. You get to work and find a "60 minutes" news team waiting in your office. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city. Your twin brother/sister forgets your birthday. Your 4-year old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet. You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your preparation-H. ________________ BUFFALO Bill Never Smash A WD-40 Can http://www.buffaloschips.com/kajasoa.htm New At Canadian Tire http://www.buffaloschips.com/aioao.htm PAPA Thorn Which is bigger? http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=008Lineup.jpg THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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