[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner



THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Took the war department over to Steak n Shake last night. Its a habit we
have occasionally practiced because I happen to love those strawberry shakes.
Unfortunately, last night was not exactly one of their stellar moments. I
don't know if the waitress was busy, or new or what. But when I got to the
cash register and the manager gave me the perfunctory "How was your meal", 
I expressed our disatisfaction, making it clear that the service was less than satisfactory.The manager said, "Gee, I'm sorry to hear that."
And that was the end of it.
You have to wonder why they bother to ask me. If they are not going to do
anything to make it right, apparently it doesn't matter to them. Why bother
to ask. The other thing I would say, is why bother to go back.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman


THE COMICS
 
 
 
Brenda, is my husband there?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o033.html
 
 
Jill's parents are tired of sending her money
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o035.html
 
It's all about communication
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o036.html
 
 
 
 


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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
 
the problem with Mexican food-this is a classic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4835.html
 
 
 
 
 
the most dangerous place in the world
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp1947.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
games and videos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp1954.html


A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the home-owner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her,
kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there,
the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. 
Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen
a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist,
don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he
nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll
kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!
His wife responds: He wasn't kissing my neck - he was whispering in my ear. He
told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I
told him it was in the bathroom." Be strong. I love you, too!
____________
 
One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home. On the
front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.
On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies
lying naked on the lawn.
This time my curiosity got the best of me and I went inside to talk to the
Nursing Home Administrator. 'Do you know there are six ladies lying
naked on your Front lawn?'
'Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, they're having a yard sale.'
____________
 
There's a story of a dog who sat too close to the railroad tracks. A
train came along and cut off his tail. When the dog tried to bite
the train, he got his head cut off for his trouble. The moral of this
story is: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.
_______________
 
This is a good example of how sayings can be misunderstood over the years!
2000 years ago, Moses said, "Pick up your shovel, pack your ass, mount your
camel and I shall lead you to the Promised Land."
_________
 
Q: Why did the leper go to the gun dealer?
A: He wanted to buy some arms.
 
Q: Why do some sausages have meat at one end and corn meal
at the other?
A: Because it is hard to make both ends meat.
 
Q: Do you know why redneck murder mysteries are so hard to
   solve?
A: The DNA is all the same and there are no dental records.
 
Q: Why is it that the hearing of people who work on the
   railroad is different from other peoples hearing?
A: Because they have engine ears.
_______________

Totally Spies Dance
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39222&s=n
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A nervous young guy was walking up and down the waiting room at the Maternity
hospital, and he looked at a cool, and calm older man, who was reading a
magazine.The younger man said, "I guess you have been here a few times."
"Yes," said the older man. The young wanted to know, "How long after the baby
is born, can you have sex with the Mother? The older guy equitably replied,"It
depends on whether she's in a open  ward or a private room."
________________
 
One day a young man came up to my window at the bank and whispered,
"Please deposit this hundred dollars in my savings account."  I handled the transaction and whispered back, "Have a good day."  He started to leave
but changed his mind. "I'm sorry we have to whisper," he said, "but if my
car knows I've deposited money,
it'll break down again." With his finger to his lips he tiptoed out.
_____________
 
Husband:    What would you do if I won lotto ?
Wife:              I'd take half of it and leave you !!
Husband:     Excellent… I won 12 bucks, here is 6 bucks, now FUCK OFF !!
_____________
 
A social worker from Boston recently was transferred to the Mountains of
North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory
when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.Intrigued,
she went up and knocked on the door. 'Anybody home?' she asked.
'Yep,'came a kid's voice through the door.'Is your father there?'asked the
social worker.'Pa? Nope,he left afore Ma came in,'said the kid. 'Well,is your
mother there?' persisted the social worker.'Ma? Nope,she left just afore I got
here,'said the kid. Thinking she had her first violation to report,she persisted,'
But are you never together as a family?'
'Sure,but not here,'said the kid through the door. 'This is the outhouse!'
_____________
 
 PAPA Thorn
 
 
 
 
 
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
 
 
Billy Was Warned
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22415.htm
_____________
 
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
 

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman


 

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