THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Economy got you down? Lose your job? Trying to earn extra money? Claim your piece of the $121,000,000 earned daily on eBay! Achieve STABILITY and SECURITY! Get the TRAINING and RESOURCES needed! Start selling for PROFIT today! Start earning PROFIT through eBay today! http://www.thepostm  Introducing the Finally Free Permanent Hair Removal from Nevershave.net! Finally Free is an incredible new PERMANENT hair removal system that painlessly and permanently removes unwanted hair from anywhere on your face or body. http://www.thepostm  Which makeup brand do you prefer? Simply choose between Estee Lauder, L'Oreal(R),Maybelli Gift Card for your vote! http://www.thepostm  The Sony(R) DVP-FX820 is the hottest portable DVD player on the market and it's yours for FREE! Simply choose the color that best suits your style and you'll be watching all your favorite movies, videos and more on the go! Learn how to get your FREE Sony http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! Took the war department over to Steak n Shake last night. Its a habit we have occasionally practiced because I happen to love those strawberry shakes. Unfortunately, last night was not exactly one of their stellar moments. I don't know if the waitress was busy, or new or what. But when I got to the cash register and the manager gave me the perfunctory "How was your meal", I expressed our disatisfaction, making it clear that the service was less than satisfactory. And that was the end of it. You have to wonder why they bother to ask me. If they are not going to do anything to make it right, apparently it doesn't matter to them. Why bother to ask. The other thing I would say, is why bother to go back. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS Its here Fred! http://www.thepostm How was it last night http://www.thepostm Brenda, is my husband there? http://www.thepostm come and get it http://www.thepostm Jill's parents are tired of sending her money http://www.thepostm It's all about communication http://www.thepostm one day in anatomy class http://www.thepostm can't sleep http://www.thepostm first auto show http://www.thepostm emergency room http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES time to leave home? http://www.thepostm the street musician http://www.thepostm the problem with Mexican food-this is a classic http://www.thepostm buffed beatuiful and bitchin http://www.thepostm and you thought your job sucked http://www.thepostm Hamas buys rockets made in China http://www.thepostm the most dangerous place in the world http://www.thepostm The Texas chainsaw massacre http://www.thepostm The daily kitten http://www.thepostm a strange animation http://www.thepostm Utopia-game to play http://www.thepostm cute and fuzzy http://www.thepostm computer stupidities http://www.thepostm games and videos http://www.thepostm A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the home-owner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you! His wife responds: He wasn't kissing my neck - he was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom." Be strong. I love you, too! ____________ One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the best of me and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator. 'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your Front lawn?' 'Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, they're having a yard sale.' ____________ There's a story of a dog who sat too close to the railroad tracks. A train came along and cut off his tail. When the dog tried to bite the train, he got his head cut off for his trouble. The moral of this story is: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail. ____________ This is a good example of how sayings can be misunderstood over the years! 2000 years ago, Moses said, "Pick up your shovel, pack your ass, mount your camel and I shall lead you to the Promised Land." _________ Q: Why did the leper go to the gun dealer? A: He wanted to buy some arms. Q: Why do some sausages have meat at one end and corn meal at the other? A: Because it is hard to make both ends meat. Q: Do you know why redneck murder mysteries are so hard to solve? A: The DNA is all the same and there are no dental records. Q: Why is it that the hearing of people who work on the railroad is different from other peoples hearing? A: Because they have engine ears. ____________ Totally Spies Dance Aqua Bubble Game http://www.funpagee Detective Jealous http://www.funpagee Arctic Quest 2 http://www.funpagee Fish For Girls http://www.funpagee A nervous young guy was walking up and down the waiting room at the Maternity hospital, and he looked at a cool, and calm older man, who was reading a magazine.The younger man said, "I guess you have been here a few times." "Yes," said the older man. The young wanted to know, "How long after the baby is born, can you have sex with the Mother? The older guy equitably replied,"It depends on whether she's in a open ward or a private room." ____________ One day a young man came up to my window at the bank and whispered, "Please deposit this hundred dollars in my savings account." I handled the transaction and whispered back, "Have a good day." He started to leave but changed his mind. "I'm sorry we have to whisper," he said, "but if my car knows I've deposited money, it'll break down again." With his finger to his lips he tiptoed out. ____________ Husband: What would you do if I won lotto ? Wife: I'd take half of it and leave you !! Husband: Excellent… I won 12 bucks, here is 6 bucks, now FUCK OFF !! ____________ A social worker from Boston recently was transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. 'Anybody home?' she asked. 'Yep,'came a kid's voice through the door.'Is your father there?'asked the social worker.'Pa? Nope,he left afore Ma came in,'said the kid. 'Well,is your mother there?' persisted the social worker.'Ma? Nope,she left just afore I got here,'said the kid. Thinking she had her first violation to report,she persisted,' But are you never together as a family?' 'Sure,but not here,'said the kid through the door. 'This is the outhouse!' ____________ PAPA Thorn Women's Olympics http://able2laugh. BUFFALO Bill FUN PAGES from Lorraine Farm Frenzy Game http://tinyurl. Soccer Game http://tinyurl. Jam XM http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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