Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I like to include the Presidential Proclamation on National
Holidays since we paid for the speechwriters but this year
it is a bit short as it was part of a speech last week on the
economy.
On Monday, we celebrate Independence Day, the day we declared a new
nation, based on revolutionary idea: that people ought to determine
their own destiny; that freedom and self-governance weren't gifts handed
to us by kings or emperors, but the rights of every human being. We've
learned in the years since that democracy isn't always pretty. We have
arguments. We disagree. But time and again we've proven that we could
come together to solve problems. We remember that while we may not see
eye-to-eye on everything, we share a love for this country and a faith
in its future. That's the spirit we need to harness now. That's how
we'll
meet this challenge and reach a brighter day. Thanks for listening, and
have a wonderful fourth of July.
Just as my wife spent yesterday preparing salads and desserts for our
celebration today, the President's wife has prepared a celebration at
the White House that includes a USO show for 1200 military heroes and
their families that includes a barbecue, remarks from the President, a
concert, and then the National Fireworks Show. I do wish that Congress
had managed to fix the problems with the National Debt Ceiling so that
our military could be assured of a paycheck next month. This would also
be a good time to reassure our active duty that we will not try to
repair the economy by giving them a wage cut. Just as we did in 1776, we
are asking these people to give everything including their lives to make
sure that we continue the freedom we have enjoyed for 235 years.
Speaking of Military Service, the last person on active duty that was
drafted during the Vietnam War just retired. In his 39 years in the Army
Rangers, Command Sgt. Major Jeff Mellinger made over 3,700 parachute
jumps and spent almost 3 years straight in Iraq during which time he
survived 27 roadside bombings. I defy any elected official to tell that
man that he doesn't deserve every cent of his paycheck.
We do have problems but I still love this country and just want to say,
Happy Birthday to us. May we see 235 more. Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comfy Control
Comfy Control Harness is a new humane harness that's lightweight and
easily adjustable. It's special design allows for maximum comfort and
safety every time you walk your dog. Comfy Control Harness is designed
to move the pressure away from your dog's neck and on to the shoulders
and back. It will not constrict your dog's breathing so it's perfect for
dogs with short snouts or breathing problems. NO buckles and NO awkward
adjusting! Available in sizes: small, medium, large, and extra-large.
Custom adjusts in seconds
Easy clip on matching 5 foot leash
Open weave design allows air flow
Doesn't constrict breathing
Stylish vest slips right on
TO ORDER
http://buffaloschips.com/comfy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One year, Johnny's family was having an "extended family" 4th of July
cookout at their home. One of the special treats that year was lighting
the fireworks (Roman candles, bottle rockets, missile batteries, etc.)
they had bought out of state (they're illegal in their state, of
course!).
Just before they were to arrive, a cousin called, saying his neighbors'
plans had just fallen through and asking if he bring them along to the
picnic -- they even had extra food to bring.
"Sure, the more the merrier!"
When the cousin arrived with his neighbors, it was discovered that the
head of that family was a police officer.
Johnny's father turned as innocently as he could to his son and
whispered to him to grab the paper bag of fireworks sitting in the
kitchen and hide them somewhere quickly.
Johnny disappeared, and the father changed the topic to food for the
day. This family had brought some chicken to grill, so the father told
them the gas grill was all set to use out back -- they just had to turn
on the gas and push the ignition button with the lid still closed.
They headed out to the back as Johnny returned through the front door.
The father hurried to him and said, "Whew, that was close! That man's a
police officer, and he almost saw the fireworks. Did you hide them real
well?"
"Oh, yeah, nobody will ever think to look in the grill!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the truth and fireworks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n031.html
mom and dad on the forth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n032.html
here it comes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n033.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Inspection Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attention on Deck
Norfolk Naval Station 1300 in the parking lot of the Chiefs club.
All station personnel required to fall in for visiting Admiral to
inspect upon his arrival.
Master Chief tells Seaman Timmy that he is to go to the main gate
and call him at the club when the Admiral comes through the gate,
ETA 1345.
At 1400 Admiral arrives at main gate and SN Timmy rushes over to the
vehicle.
Asks "are you the admiral that is here for the inspection?"
Reply was "Yes I am, why?"
Seaman Timmy says " just thought I would warn you that the Master
Chief expected you at 1345 and you're late. Stand by for an ass
chewing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Selling Gold Jewelry? Know Its Value Before You Send it!
The Gold911 FREE online Price Your Gold Calculator Tells You How Much
Cash to Expect Before Sending It In
No More Worries About Low-Ball Offers
Learn the Value* of Each Gold Setting
Know Up Front How Much Cash to Expect
*Approximate Value. Final Value Depends Upon Market Price at Time of
Assay
Gold911 Buys Gold of Any Kind and Offers Sellers:
Insurance Protection Up to $1,000
Payment in 24 Hours by Check or Direct Deposit
Satisfaction Guaranteed
See Our Price Your Gold Calculator Now. CLICK HERE
http://buffaloschips.com/gold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Head Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 10 Clever Things to Say to Convince Your Lover to Go Down on
You "If I eat a lot of sugar first, it'll be just like those
Cadburys Creme Eggs that you like so much."
"Honey, I was thinking: you know how you like fresh salmon and
steamed clams?
"No, I swear, Honey, the TV remote is in there somewhere. Just keep
looking."
"So, twenty bucks then?"
"No honey, that's not moss growing out of my navel -- it's
mistletoe!"
"With my thighs covering your ears, you won't have to listen to
Oprah."
"Honey, try this and tell me if it tastes funny to you..."
"At work today Brad Johnson said *his* wife could out-blow *my*
wife! Can you imagine?!?"
"Look, do you want that raise or not?"
"The Taliban has outlawed it -- it's your patriotic duty, dammit!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magic Mesh door cover instantly opens and magically snaps closed behind
you using 18 strategically placed magnets.
Whether you have your hands full or a forgetful family member you can
still let fresh air in and keep those bugs out.
Buy one, get one free! $19.95 - just pay additional $7.95 P&H.
http://buffaloschips.com/magmes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virgin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was
still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's
house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry,
Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and
exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and
says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Maria," says the mother," all good men have hairy
chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off
his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to
her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy
legs!"
"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go
upstairs and he'll take good care of you."
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks
and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this,
she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here and stir the pasta," says the mother.
"This is a job for Mama."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spray White 90 Get Whiter, Brighter Teeth
Spray White 90 is the world's first tooth whitening spray that's
guaranteed to get your teeth nearly 7 shades whiter in just 90 seconds.
Spray White 90 contains hydrogen peroxide. When applied to the teeth,
hydrogen peroxide breaks down into water and Oxygen. As the Oxygen
molecules work their way through the dentinal tubules and into the tooth
surfaces, they attach themselves to stain particles and effectively
break the stains apart. With the stains removed, the teeth become whiter
and brighter.
Try it today and get your teeth whiter and brighter in 90 seconds .
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/sprawh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hospital Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency room, when
a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk
rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and
wearing Goth clothing, entered.
It was quickly determined the patient had acute
appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate
surgery. When she was completely disrobed on
the operating table, the staff noticed that her
pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it
there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote
a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The One Stop Snuggie Total Shop
Americas Favorite Blanket with Sleeves!
Weve got every Snuggie ever made:
-Original Snuggie
-Designer Snuggie
-Snuggie for Dogs
-Outdoors Snuggie
-Snuggie for Kids
-Sports Snuggies and More!
Why buy a Snuggie anywhere else?
Order Now!
http://tinyurl.com/2345j9l
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Freedom is not Free
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/HDy/Fr.html
Melva/GI Joe
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Lil.html
Happy Fourty Via Carol
http://www.alighthouse.com/4thofjulyecard.htm
Southbreeze w/ July 4th
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/july4th.htm
Southbreeze w/ Flag
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/flag.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Pasta Boat - Microwave Cooking Pasta Noodles Fast & Easy
Pasta Boat is the fast and easy way to cook, drain and serve perfect
pasta dishes in one microwaveable pot without the hassle!
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/boat
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Lady Liberty Fireworks july 4
http://www.fireworkspop.com/liberty.htm
Independence Day test From Red in Ohio
http://games.toast.net/independence/
Happy Birthday America
http://www.my-tgif.com/july_4th.htm
John w/ I Am The Flag
http://heavens-gates.com/iamtheflag
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
History Of Fireworks
http://www.pyrouniverse.com/history.htm
Firework Safety
http://www.fireworksafety.com/
Safe and Sane Fireworks
http://www.fireworksland.com/html/safeandsane.html
BBQ Ribs
http://www.barbecuen.com/bbqporkribs.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Ray's Freedom Rock
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock.html
WWI Human Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html
Military Motivational Posters
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/military.html
Happy 4th "State Flowers"
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1221321706636&source=jl999
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Melva/Our Veterans
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Trib.html
Rick w/ Proud To Be An American
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/rickspages/Proud_To_Be_American.html
Independence 1776~A July 4th Celebration
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/Independence1776.html
Melva/This Is America
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/America.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Humor With Our Troops 4
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor4.html
Daily With Our Troops 3
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily3.html
Liberty Air Show
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html
LCS 2 USS Independence
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lcs2.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Viagra Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ngfdrtd.htm
Weight Lifting Surprise
http://www.buffaloschips.com/cdfgdsxgrfd.htm
Why Airplanes Have Pillows
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjfrfdty.htm
Worst Best Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uiygtyutf5.htm
Yellow Snow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gvfrtd6.htm
Funny Stuff
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sadfswa.htm
German Coast Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsafe.htm
Gun Control
http://www.buffaloschips.com/4r4n.htm
How Aliens Fish
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34r43r.htm
Idiot 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5y5g3g.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BJ Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A married couple is celebrating 50 years of marriage.
He had taken her to dinner and dancing to celebrate.
They were reflecting over the past 50 years.
She said, "You have given me everything that any woman
could desire, 2 beautiful children that grew up and
became a doctor and a lawyer.
A beautiful home and a new car every three years.
The kids have given us grandchildren, and we love them too death. If
there is anything I haven't given you, all you need do is ask."
"Well, the husband says, there is one thing."
"What is that," says the wife?
"A blow job," says the husband.
The wife thinks for a moment and says,
"I have never given you a blow job, because I didn't think you would
respect me after that. But, since we have been together 50 years,
surely you would respect me now, so ok."
So she unzips his pants, pulls out his penis and
proceeds to give him a blow job.
Just as she finishes and wipes her chin, the phone rings.
The husbands answers and says,
"Yes, right here. Hold on a moment.
Here, cocksucker, it's for you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charming Black Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vm,v.htm
Cheaper Than Dating
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkk.htm
Chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khkjh.htm
bush chenney
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kghdfkhfkgjhglhk.htm
bush pee
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mnvx,,,xmkvjgfd.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tired of paying way too much for your ink and toner?
Then you're in luck, because at ClickInks we're obsessed with saving you
money! With our buy 2, get 1 free offer on select cartridges, free
shipping on orders over $49, and a 100% money back guarantee you've got
nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!
Get an extra 10% off by entering "SAVINGS10" at checkout!
Just visit http://buffaloschips.com/clink
to start saving!
We're looking forward to hearing from you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman, Monique,
Who proclaimed an efficient technique:
"One fuck daily's just right."
She did seven one night,
And then found that it made her hole weak.
(Kirk Miller)
There once was a man from Calcutta,
who liked to beat off in the gutter,
the heat of the street
melted his meat
and turned his cream into butter.
There once was a girl from Hoboken,
Who said that her hymen was broken,
From riding a bike?
On a cobblestone pike,
But it was really broken from pokin'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Relieve your foot pain with WalkFit Platinum
Walk-fit cups the foot with durable support to relieve discomfort!
Distributes your weight evenly across your foot to help prevent
collapsing, pressure points, stress and rubbing. This reduces painful
burning, bunions, corns, and calluses.
It also eases impact by evenly distributing the force of each step!
Flexes and cushions to help absorb destructive shock waves from
traveling up through your entire body every time your foot hits the
ground!
NEW! Cushions your heel for ultimate comfort! A cushioning gel pad in
the heel provides extra shock absorption and comfort.
NEW! Kills germs and odors! Advanced Nanosilver antibacterial technology
kills germs and odors as you walk. Your feet, shoes and orthotics stay
fresh all day, everyday!
http://buffaloschips.com/wfpl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was
missing.
He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Lowes and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go.
While she was waiting for the nice young man to finish serving a
customer, Her eye caught a beautiful bathroom vanity tap set...
When the man was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that vanity
set?
The young assistant manager replied, "That's a gold plated set and the
price is $500.00."
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is very expensive. It's certainly
out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to
buy.
The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom
to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Lady, do you wanna screw for
the hinge?"
Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the
vanity set."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
J.G. Wentworth
Get Your Cash NOW!
Do you have a structured settlement but need money now? You're in luck.
J.G. Wentworth can pay you cash for your structured settlement.
Want your cash in one lump sum? Not a problem. J.G. Wentworth is
the market leader in buying structured settlement payments and
can help you get your money faster.
Get Started Now by completing our quote request form.
GET STARTED NOW!
http://buffaloschips.com/jgwen
A+ Rating
Better Business Bureau
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2069
The 4th of July cont
Sandi continues: In 1812, the United States went to war with Great
Britain, primarily over
freedom of the seas. We were in the right. For two years, we held off
the
British, even though we were still a rather weak country. Great Britain
was in a life and death struggle with Napoleon. In fact, just as the
United States
declared war, Napoleon marched off to invade Russia. If he won, as
everyone
expected, he would control Europe, and Great Britain would be isolated.
It was no time for her to be involved in an American war.
At first, our seamen proved better than the British. After we won a
battle on
Lake Erie in 1813, the American commander, Oliver Hazard Perry, sent the
message, "We have met the enemy and they are ours." However, the weight
of the British navy eventually beat down our ships . New England,
hard-hit
by a tightening blockade, threatened secession.
Meanwhile, Napoleon was beaten in Russia and in 1814 was forced to
abdicate. Great Britain now turned its attention to the United States,
launching a three-pronged attack.
The northern prong was to come down Lake Champlain toward New York
and seize parts of New England.
The southern prong was to go up the Mississippi, take New Orleans and
paralyze the west.
The central prong was to head for the mid-Atlantic states and then
attack
Baltimore, the greatest port south of New York. If Baltimore was taken,
the
nation, which still hugged the Atlantic coast, could be split in two.
The fate
of the United States, then, rested to a large extent on the success or
failure
of the central prong.
The British reached the American coast, and on August 24, 1814, took
Washington, D.C. Then they moved up the Chesapeake Bay toward Baltimore.
On September 12, they arrived and found 1,000 men in Fort McHenry, whose
guns controlled the harbor. If the British wished to take Baltimore,
they would
have to take the fort.
On one of the British ships was William Beanes, an aged physician, who
had
been arrested in Maryland and brought along as a prisoner. Francis Scott
Key,
a lawyer and friend of the physician, had come to the ship to negotiate
his release.
The British commander said after they had supper if the Fort stood in
the
morning, they would exchange prisoners, but he thought that would be a
moot issue. Francis saw the British armada arrive and all he could see
from horizon to horizon was the British war fleet.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment