Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
As you have requested here is August's list of Bizarre Holidays.
Face it not a lot to get excited about during August, it's hot,
vacation's over, so here are some reasons to crack open a Bud or for
example on the 3rd, go get a large traditional watermelon, chill and
fill with vodka and enjoy.
8/1 Friendship Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
8/2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
8/3 National Watermelon Day
8/4 Twins Day Festival
8/5 National Mustard Day
8/6 Wiggle Your Toes Day
8/7 Sea Serpent Day
8/8 Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
8/9 National Polka Festival
8/10 Lazy Day
8/11 Presidential Joke Day
8/12 Middle Child's Day
8/13 Blame Someone Else Day
8/14 National Creamsicle Day
8/15 National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day
8/16 Bratwurst Festival
8/17 National Thrift shop Day
8/18 Bad Poetry Day
8/19 Potato Day
8/20 National Radio Day
8/21 National Spumoni Day
8/22 Be An Angel Day
8/23 National Sponge cake Day
8/24 Knife Day
8/25 Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
8/26 National Cherry Popsicle Day
8/27 Petroleum Day
8/28 World Sauntering Day
8/29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day
8/30 National Toasted Marshmallow Day
8/31 National Trail Mix Day
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Dumb Chips
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He was so dumb he broke into a church and stole ten thousand
dollars.... in pledges.
He was so dumb he couldn't count his dick twice and get the same
number.
If dumbass were a commodity, he would have the market cornered.
He was so dumb, his family tree was a shrub.
He was so dumb he thought a foul ball is what the players scratch
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He was so dumb that he scotch-taped chickens to his body
before going outside, because he'd heard that you stay warmer if
you're dressed in layers.
I don't want to say that he's a "dim bulb," but you know how Thomas
Edison had to make hundreds of failed bulbs before he made one that
worked? He is NOT the one that worked.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Mountain Chips
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TOP TEN REJECTED TITLES FOR BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN
10. "Not-That-There's-Anything-Wrong-With-That Mountain"
9. "Wyatt Slurp"
8. "For A Few Dollars More We Can Make It A Threesome"
7. "Long Ranger"
6. "Go West Young Man..Now South...a Little More South..OH GOD YES
RIGHT THERE!"
5. "Bunanza"
4. "The Good, The Bad, and the Fabulous"
3. "Broke My Back Mounting Him"
2. "Fun With Dick In James"
1. "Oklahomo"
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Honeymoon Chips
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A fellow on his wedding night in the hotel says to his new wife. "My
God! I never realized you had such huge droopy breasts." The wife
has a major dummy spit and throws him out of the room. While he is
sitting in the hall another fellow comes out down the hall. "What
happened?" asks the first man.
"Well" replies the other "I first saw my new wife naked tonight, and
all I said was "Hells bells! I didn't realize you had such a big
fat droopy arse..." Then she threw me out.
Just then a third fellow comes storming out into the hall with a
face like thunder. "Hey" says the second fellow, "did you put your
foot in it as well?"
"No" says the third fellow, "But, shit! I bloody well could have!"
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Shotgun Chips
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Old Seth goes to the doctor to see about erection problems. "I'll
be ridin' the tractor on the south 20," Seth said, "and the warm sun
and the tractor vibratin' gets it up! But by the time I can get
back to the house and maw gets ready, it's down--and I can't get it
back up. Can you give me somethin' to help keep it up?"
The doc says no, he can't. Age carries its price. But--perhaps
some signal could be arranged and maw would be prepared as paw
arrived at the house? Maybe maw could even meet him halfway?
"A great idea!" says Seth. "There's a little grove about halfway to
the house from where I'm plowin'. Me and maw used to have sex there
when we were younger! It'd be a great spot. I'll carry my shotgun
and when it's all up and hard, I'll fire it and she'll get there
same time as I do. Thanks doc!"
Time passes. The doctor meets Seth at the bank one morning and asks
how he's doing. Seth says he's okay. The doc asks how Seth's wife
is, and Seth says, "Poor maw, she's dead!"
"Sorry to hear that," says the doc. "How did she die?"
"Just run herself to death durin' the quail season," said Seth
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Movie Chips
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The Best Porn Movies of 2011
Womb Raider
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Driving Into Miss Daisy
Batman in Robin
Star Whores
Forest Rump
Edward Penishands
Gangbangs of New York
On Golden Blonde
Saturday Night Beaver
Sick Degrees of Penetration
Legally Boned
Throbbin' Hood
When Harry Ate Sally
Romancing The Bone
White Men Can't Hump
Pulp Friction
Swollow Hal
Breast Side Story
Buttman and Throbbin'
Rambone
Sperms of Enderarment
School of Cock
The Sperminator
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva~50's Music
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Mu/50/50s.html
carolyn w/Stand By Me~Elvis
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/standbyme.html
Marlene/Are You Troubled/Gospel
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html2/AREYOUTROUBLEDTODAY.html
God's Royal And Holy Priests
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/royalpriests.html
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Surfin Surfari
White Trash Repairs
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Make Pencil Flags
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Modern Kites
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Awesome Tool Chest
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Telemarketing Do Not Call List
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Hummingbirds
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Movie Links
3rd World Bomb Squad
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ICTV
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Leno Photo Booth
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Texas Shootout
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The Interview
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The Big Man Where Are You
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Remote
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Rocket Man
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Rubber Man
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She's Got You
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Skeleton Dance
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Baseball Chips
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Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed
a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They
stopped and discovered a nude female, drunk and passed out. Out of
respect for the lady, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it
over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed
it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took
off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted
his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and
wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it,
and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees
cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a
third time, and replaced it one last time.
The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you,
a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting
and looking?"
"Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised. Normally when I
look under a Yankees hat, I find an asshole."
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Toon Chips
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ceremony
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Limerick Chips
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Young Alice is known for her poise
During quiet foreplay with the boys.
But then when she has 'em
At the brink of orgasm,
You can't hear yourself think for the noise.
One day as I fished on the sea
A mermaid came visiting me
Though just right on top
T'other end was a flop
With no parts to show she was a she.
~~~~~~
There was a young lady named May,
Took a stroll in the park by the bay.
She met a young man,
Who screwed her and ran.
Now she goes to the park everyday.
~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
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A priest, in complete violation of his celibacy wows, makes amorous
advances to a nun who, at first, rejects his proposals saying it's a
sin, but finally relents and the two end up in bed together.
After making love, the nun says, "Since you are a priest, I would like
you to hear my confession. I have sinned. Twice."
The priest says, "What do you mean, 'twice'? We only did it once."
The nun: "You're going to do it again, aren't you?"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just because I am taking a break from the Katie Kolumn doesn't mean I am
not writing..see below
~ Welcome to Petwarmers ~
http://www.petwarmers.com
ONCE IN A LIFETIME DOGGIE
by BJ Cassady
I am 66 years old and have had many dogs of many breeds, but mostly
mutts. I have enjoyed great two-way love with my dogs. A few stand out
above the rest, but one stands head and shoulders above all -- Sandi, a
Collie-Retriever mix.
How can one describe the most perfect love, devotion, loyalty?
I live in the country and had quite a few problems with moles.
Sandi has taken care of that quite nicely. She has decided no animals
will enter her domain and threaten her master.
Yet, I have taken her to nursing homes where she has comforted the
aged and sick.
Sandi always sleeps with me, her head on my pillow, sleeping north
and south as close as she can. When I am home, she is always right by
me, never far from me. If I have a scratch, or an "owie," she knows it
and it pains her and she will do what she can to comfort me.
The best compliment came from our vet in Guthrie when he said she
is a once-in-a-lifetime dog.
I responded, "Yes she is the best I have ever had."
He said, "You don't understand. In our years here, she is the best
dog we have seen. She is a true once-in-a-lifetime dog. We are talking
about her being faithful, loyal and everything a dog could and should be
to you. She obeys you perfectly by hand and voice."
"I never trained her," I responded. "She just did it."
I used Sandi in a sermon at a nursing home and I talked about
obeying God and listening to Him. I mentioned if we could only obey and
listen to God as well as my dog obeys and listens to me... And then I
called Sandi, who was sitting with my wife. Sandi walked down the aisle
and then laid down at my feet.
The audience gasped.
I concluded with, "I hope I can be as faithful as my dog when the
time comes and be a once-in-a-lifetime person for God.
-- BJ Cassady <bj.cassady at af-group.com>
Thanks.
Paw Prints is in Lifestyle, Sunday Fort Dodge (IA) Messenger, Storm
Lake Pilot Tribune, and Cherokee Chonicle Times.
Pauline
BJ, I write a weekly newspaper column, Paw Prints, on responsible pet
care, and like to occasionally include an inspirational piece. I would
like to use your article, with your credit line, of course. Hope to
hear from you with your consent.
Blessings,
Pauline Larsen
Paw Prints
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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