Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Another Navy story for you
From Kansas Farmer - I received this interesting story from a friend.
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A BIT OF HISTORY THAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW
From November 1943, until her demise in June 1945, the American
destroyer 'William D. Porter' was often hailed - whenever she entered
port or joined other Naval ships - with the greetings: "Don't shoot,
we're Republicans!'
For a half a century, the US Navy kept a lid on the details of the
incident that prompted this salutation. A Miami news reporter made the
first public disclosure in 1958 after he stumbled upon the truth while
covering a reunion of the destroyer's crew. The Pentagon reluctantly and
tersely confirmed his story, but only a smattering of newspapers took
notice.
In 1943, the Willie D as the Porter was nicknamed, accidentally fired a
live torpedo at the battleship Iowa during a practice exercise. As if
this weren't bad enough, the Iowa was carrying President Franklin D.
Roosevelt at the time, along with Secretary of State, Cordell Hull, and
all of the country's W.W.II military brass. They were headed for the Big
Three Conference in Tehran , where Roosevelt was to meet Stalin and
Churchill. Had the Porter's torpedo struck the Iowa at the aiming
point,the last 60 years of world history might have been quite
different.
The USS William D Porter (DD-579) was one of hundreds of assembly line
destroyers built during the war. They mounted several heavy and light
guns, but their main armament consisted of 10 fast-running and accurate
torpedoes that carried 500-pound warheads. This destroyer was placed in
commission on July 1943 under the command of Wilfred Walker, a man on
the Navy's fast career track.
In the months before she was detailed to accompany the Iowa across the
Atlantic in November 1943, the Porter and her crew learned their
trade,experiencing the normal problems that always beset a new ship and
a novice crew.
The mishaps grew more serious when she became an escort for the pride of
the fleet, the big new battleship Iowa .
The night before they left Norfolk, bound for North Africa, the Porter
accidentally damaged a nearby sister ship when she backed down along the
other ship's side and her anchor tore down the other ship's railings,
life rafts, ship's boat and various other formerly valuable pieces of
equipment. The Willie D merely had a scraped anchor, but her career of
mayhem and mishaps had begun.
Just twenty four hours later, the four-ship convoy, consisting of Iowa
and her secret passengers, the Willie D, and two other destroyers, was
under strict instructions to maintain complete radio silence. Since they
were going through a known U-boat feeding ground, speed and silence were
the best defense.
Suddenly, a tremendous explosion rocked the convoy. All of the ships
commenced anti-submarine maneuvers. This continued until the Porter
sheepishly admitted that one of her depth charges had fallen off her
stern and exploded. The 'safety' had not been set as instructed.
Captain Walker was watching his fast track career become side-tracked.
Shortly thereafter, a freak wave inundated the ship, stripping away
everything that wasn't lashed down. A man washed overboard and was never
found.
Next, the fire room lost power in one of its boilers.
The Captain, at this point, was making reports almost hourly to the Iowa
about the Willie D's difficulties. It would have been merciful if the
force commander had detached the hard luck ship and sent her back to
Norfolk . But, no, she sailed on.
The morning of 14 November 1943 dawned with a moderate sea and pleasant
weather. The Iowa and her escorts were just east of Bermuda , and the
president and his guests wanted to see how the big ship could defend
herself against an air attack. So, the Iowa launched a number of weather
balloons to use as anti-aircraft targets. It was exciting to see more
than 100 guns shooting at the balloons, and the President was proud of
his Navy.
Just as proud was Admiral Ernest J King, the Chief of Naval Operations;
large in size and by demeanor, a true monarch of the sea.
Disagreeing with him meant the end of a naval career. Up to this time,
no one knew what firing a torpedo at him would mean.
Over on the Willie D, Captain Walker watched the fireworks display with
admiration and envy.
Thinking about career redemption and breaking the hard luck spell, the
Captain sent his impatient crew to battle stations.
They began to shoot down the balloons the Iowa had missed as they
drifted into the Porter's vicinity.
Down on the torpedo mounts, the crew watched, waiting to take some
practice shots of their own on the big battleship, which, even though
6,000 yards away, seemed to blot out the horizon. Lawton Dawson and Tony
Fazio were among those responsible for the torpedoes. Part of their job
involved ensuring that the primers were installed during actual combat
and removed during practice. Once a primer was installed, on a command
to fire, it would explode shooting the torpedo out of its tube.
Dawson , on this particular morning, unfortunately had forgotten to
remove the primer from torpedo tube #3. Up on the bridge, a new torpedo
officer, unaware of the danger, ordered a simulated firing. "Fire 1,
Fire 2," and finally, "Fire 3." There was no Fire 4 as the sequence was
interrupted by an unmistakable whooooooshhhhing sound made by a
successfully launched and armed torpedo. Lt H. Steward Lewis, who
witnessed the entire event, later described the next few minutes as what
hell would look like if it ever broke loose.
Just after he saw the torpedo hit water on its way to the Iowa and some
of the most prominent figures in world history, Lewis innocently asked
the Captain, 'Did you give permission to fire a torpedo?' Captain
Walker's reply will not ring down through naval history... although
words to the effect of Farragut's immortal 'Damn the torpedoes' figured
centrally within.
Initially there was some reluctance to admit what had happened, or even
to warn the Iowa . As the awful reality sunk in, people began racing
around, shouting conflicting instructions and attempting to warn the
flagship of imminent danger.
First, there was a flashing light warning about the torpedo which
unfortunately indicated the torpedo was headed in another direction.
Next, the Porter signaled that the torpedo was going reverse at full
speed!
Finally, they decided to break the strictly enforced radio silence.
The radio operator on the destroyer transmitted "'Lion (code for the
Iowa ), Lion, come right." The Iowa operator, more concerned about radio
procedure, requested that the offending station identify itself first.
Finally, the message was received and the Iowa began turning to avoid
the speeding torpedo.
Meanwhile, on the Iowa 's bridge, word of the torpedo firing had reached
FDR, who asked that his wheelchair be moved to the railing so he could
see better what was coming his way. His loyal Secret Service guard
immediately drew his pistol as if he was going to shoot the torpedo. As
the Iowa began evasive maneuvers, all of her guns were trained on the
William D. Porter. There was now some thought that the Porter was part
of an assassination plot.
Within moments of the warning, there was a tremendous explosion just
behind the battleship. The torpedo had been detonated by the wash kicked
up by the battleship's increased speed.
The crisis was over and so was Captain Walker's career. His final
utterance to the Iowa , in response to a question about the origin of
the torpedo, was a weak, "We did it."
Shortly thereafter, the brand new destroyer, her Captain and the entire
crew were placed under arrest and sent to Bermuda for trial. It was
thefirst time that a complete ship's company had been arrested in the
history of the US Navy.
The ship was surrounded by Marines when it docked in Bermuda , and held
there several days as the closed session inquiry attempted to determine
what had happened.
Torpedoman Dawson eventually confessed to having inadvertently left the
primer in the torpedo tube, which caused the launching.
Dawson had thrown the used primer over the side to conceal his mistake.
The whole incident was chalked up to an unfortunate set of circumstances
and placed under a cloak of secrecy.
Someone had to be punished. Captain Walker and several other Porter
officers and sailors eventually found themselves in obscure shore
assignments. Dawson was sentenced to 14 years hard labor.
President Roosevelt intervened; however, asking that no punishment be
meted out for what was clearly an accident.
The destroyer William D. Porter was banished to the upper Aleutians . It
was probably thought this was as safe a place as any for the ship and
anyone who came near her.
She remained in the frozen north for almost a year, until late 1944,
when she was re-assigned to the Western Pacific.
However,before leaving the Aleutians , she accidentally left her calling
card in the form of a five-inch shell fired into the front yard of the
American Base Commander, thus rearranging his flower garden rather
suddenly.
In December, 1944, the Porter joined the Philippine invasion forces and
acquitted herself quite well. She distinguished herself by shooting down
a number of attacking Japanese aircraft. Regrettably, after the war, it
was reported that she also shot down three American planes. This was a
common event on ships, as many gunners, fearful of kamikazes, had
nervous trigger fingers.
In April, 1945, the destroyer Porter was assigned to support the
invasion of Okinawa . By this time, the greeting "Don't Shoot, We're
Republicans" was commonplace and the crew of the Willie D had become
used to the ribbing.
But the crew of her sister ship, the USS Luce, was not so polite in its
salutations after the Porter accidentally riddled her side and
superstructure with gunfire.
On 10 June, 1945, the Porter's hard luck finally ran out. She was sunk
by a plane which had (unintentionally)attacked it from underwater.
A Japanese bomber made almost entirely of wood and canvas slipped
through the Navy's defense.
Having little in the way of metal surfaces, the plane didn't register on
radar. A fully loaded kamikaze, it was headed for a ship near the
Porter, but just at the last moment veered away and crashed along side
the unlucky destroyer. There was a sigh of relief as the plane sunk out
of sight, but then it blew up underneath the Porter, opening her hull in
the worst possible place.
Three hours later, after the last man was off board, the Captain jumped
to the safety of a rescue vessel and the ship that almost changed world
history slipped astern into 2,400 feet of water.
Not a single soul was lost in the sinking. After everything else that
happened, it was almost as if the ship decided to let her crew off at
the end.
Kit Bonner, Naval Historian
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a
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13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and
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Driving Chips
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Penny Chips
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B u y a g r a
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Alcohol Chips
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Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan
of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The
perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game, & you're even
around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when
we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. Yet lately
I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe
that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence
has led to some unwise consequences, briefed below for your review.
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is
important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of
substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make
me call those ex-boyfriends / girlfriends when I know for a fact
they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours
of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal but why do you suggest
that I eat a kabob with chili sauce, along with a big Italian hoagie
& some stale chips (washed down with chocolate Nesquik & topped off
with a Kit Kat all after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)?
Eclectic eater I am, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need
to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the
issue home by causing me to fall down, it's completely unnecessary.
The black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next
day is beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45
seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Pictures: This can be a blessing in disguise, as it can often
clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are banned
from ever being placed on my head in public again: Indian wigs,
sombreros, bows, ties, boxes, upside-down cups, inflatable balloon
animals, traffic cones, or bras. Also, what is with you making me
take pictures with people I clearly don't like when I'm sober. Yet
they suddenly become my best friends when a flash is presented?
5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know him/her from somewhere, I
most likely do not. Please do not request that I go over & see if
in fact,I do actually know that person. The phrase "Let's Fu*k" is
illegal from now on. While I may be thinking this, please reinstate
the brain-to-mouth-block that would stop this thought from becoming
a statement, especially in public. Please stop me from talking to
the guy/girl with the crooked teeth; acned-up face; bad breath, beer
belly, etc. Why are they so appealing to me while I'm with you &
why are they so disgusting to me the next morning after you have
worn off??
6. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting
ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's
debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m -hangover immobility is
completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the
proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,
aspirin)
prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with
a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way
interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day for that
matter)
activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would
like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the
invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the
needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra
money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask
that you carefully review my grievances above & address them
immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday
3pm(pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can
continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you from your biggest fan.
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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A sailor went off on the sea
To escape from a Bride-wanna-be;
But she jumped in her dingy
'Cause she missed his thingy -
She caught him and then there were three!
I held back my shit for a week,
Then cut me a slathering freak.
That glorious flatus;
That cheesy mutatus!
The neighbours now frown and don't speak.
It's really not the size of your tool
That makes girls i know swoon and drool
I will not deny it
It's how you apply it
Inside of my own precious jewel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magic Mesh door cover instantly opens and magically snaps closed behind
you using 18 strategically placed magnets.
Whether you have your hands full or a forgetful family member you can
still let fresh air in and keep those bugs out.
Buy one, get one free! $19.95 - just pay additional $7.95 P&H.
http://buffaloschips.com/magmes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees. She
explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months
later, the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little
Johnny -- at the back of the class -- put his hand up and asks the
teacher, "Are you sure about the stork, miss? I think you're getting
your birds mixed up. "My big sister just got a little baby and she said
it came from a black pecker at the beach!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comfy Control
Comfy Control Harness is a new humane harness that's lightweight and
easily adjustable. It's special design allows for maximum comfort and
safety every time you walk your dog. Comfy Control Harness is designed
to move the pressure away from your dog's neck and on to the shoulders
and back. It will not constrict your dog's breathing so it's perfect for
dogs with short snouts or breathing problems. NO buckles and NO awkward
adjusting! Available in sizes: small, medium, large, and extra-large.
Custom adjusts in seconds
Easy clip on matching 5 foot leash
Open weave design allows air flow
Doesn't constrict breathing
Stylish vest slips right on
TO ORDER
http://buffaloschips.com/comfy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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