welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Good morning postman fans!
When the war department sent away for this gadget, I thought she had lost her marbles.
another silly tv useless item. how wrong I was! She suffers from arthritis. and it can make
opening a can with a regular canopener quite challenging. not to mention the safety factor.
you ever cut yourself on one of those sharp edges?
get your own today! you will be glad you did!
The Fast Easy way to Open Cans.
No Sharp Metal Edges! Lid Snaps Back On! In a convenient compact design that
can open any size can.
This really is The Last Can Opener you will EVER buy!
Internet Special includes a FREE Grip Mate!
Perfect for every hard to open Bottle or Jar!
satisfaction guaranteed!
Buy From Official TV Website:
http://www.tinyurl.
Secret" to The Healing Codes
Learn how altering your subconscious mind, your misconceptions and
your beliefs can dramatically improve your health and change your life.
Dr. Ben Johnson, one of the teachers of "The Secret" will guide you through
the missing piece of "The Law of Attraction" that was not shared in "The Secret."
Learn more about The Healing Codes!
http://www.tinyurl.
And a public service announcement from:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE COMICS!
not my idea
http://www.thepostm
that was a big job
http://www.thepostm
its ok
http://www.thepostm
god bless you
http://www.thepostm
marriage penalty
http://www.thepostm
travel
http://www.thepostm
on hold
http://www.thepostm
holiday special
http://www.thepostm
a slow night
http://www.thepostm
it aint hemmoroids
http://www.thepostm
Little Johnny goes into a house of ill repute and asks for a girl with gonorrhea.
The madam nodded and sent him upstairs to a room. Then she called one
of her favorites for him. The girl came into the room and started to
undress, when he asked, "Do you have gonorrhea?"
"Gonorrhea? I should say not," she replied.
Little Johnny sent her back. The madam sent for another girl and said,
"Honey, go upstairs and tell that fool you have the clap. Let's do
what we can to make him happy."
The girl agreed, went upstairs and when Little Johnny asked, "Do you
have gonorrhea?" she smiled and said, "Of course I do."
"Ok," he said, "Let's do it."
After it was over and they were laying side by side the girl said,
"Listen Johnny, I don't really have gonorrhea"
Little Johnny smiled and said, "Well, you do now."
____________
One day many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with
twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of
what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the
fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a
little while, the names will simply occur to us."
After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a
peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would always turn
towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't
matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child
always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away,"
suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the
boys were simply known as TOWARDS and AWAY.
The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when
the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it's time that you
learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their
ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three-month voyage.
The three months passed quickly for the fisherman's wife, yet the ship
had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship.
Three whole years passed before the grieving woman saw a lone man
walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. "My
goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried.
The ragged fisherman began to tell his story:
"We were just barely one whole day out to sea when Towards hooked into
a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than
his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without
either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to
win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He
was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again."
"Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of
been! What a horrible fish. What a horrible, horrible fish!"
"Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away!"
____________
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight
from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like
to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she
politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a
lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know
the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely
declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the
answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you
$500," figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the
match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there
will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the
earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her
purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now,
it's the blonde's turn.
She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes
down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes
out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into
the Air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he
knows. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The
blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and
asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde
reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep!
____________
Hot Tub Etiquette for Men
1. It's alright to have an erection in a hot tub, but don't float to
the surface yelling "Up Periscope"!
2. It's okay to pass a joint while hot tubbing; it is NOT okay to pass gas.
3. Feel encouraged to whisper words of admiration to the well- endowed
blonde soaking next to you, but don't point and exclaim in a loud
voice "Hey baby, nice set of Bazookas!"
4. Drink wine or other alcoholic beverages in moderation while hot
tubing. DON'T get drunk and suddenly submerge after screaming "Beaver
Attack!"
5. A little underwater groping is OK... Groping yourself is not!
Hot Tub Etiquette for Women
1. It's not lady-like to straddle a water jet, moan in ecstasy, then
scream at the top of your lungs "Oh yes Baby!"
2. Washing your partner's back is sexy; washing your panty hose is NOT!
3. Group nude bathing with strangers can be a pleasant experience, but
don't spoil things by making snide remarks like, "I've seen bigger
wangs on a hamster!"
4. It's okay to pass a joint while hot tubbing; it's NOT okay to pass gas.
5. Don't think your fooling anybody by trying to pass off your
vibrator as a toy submarine.
____________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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