welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Good morning postman fans!
A couple of letters from postman fans!
Hey postman:
Here is something that you should offer to your readers.
I signed up and got myself a whole bunch of batteries for free
it was pretty cool.
JJ
What JJ is talking about is this offer:
be sure to get your FREE BATTERIES, too!
Congratulations!
Get $50 Free* Energizer Batteries of your Choice
Energizer batters
http://www.tinyurl.
And my long time friend, Tony says.
Martin, could you publish the ad for the remote controlled helicoptor again, I want to order it for my 2 grand sons
Here you go Tony.
I ordered one and my son and I have a blast with it:
Nano Chopter 4000 flies to great heights!
Featuring balanced control, it's easy to pilot your chopper in the air.
Just hit the pressure sensitive throttle....
the higher your chopper will go! To land, ease off on the throttle.
To stop the rotor, press the brake.
************
Features
• 360 Degrees (Full Function)
• Full Function 2 Ch. Remote Controller Charging System
• Duel Propeller System
• Altitude & Rotor Speed Control
• Real Helicopter Performance
• Flight Stabilizing System
• Super Lightweight Airframe
• Factory Assembled Ready To Fly
• Requires (6) AA Batteries (not included)
http://www.tinyurl.
Ok folks, here's the scoop.
A lot of you have written to me saying that the postman movies don't play for you,
and that the Buffalo movies work just fine. I don't know what your individual systems
are like, so it is a little difficult for me to offer individual advice. However, what I did do,
is I made a couple of changes on the postman movies section and patterned them more like the Buffalo's movies.
I would really appreciate it if you would let me know if these changes work for the better!
Thx
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!
wipeout
http://www.thepostm
pussy...cat
http://www.thepostm
shake it baby
http://www.thepostm
belly dance
http://www.thepostm
a zombie
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
instant is good
http://wwww.
I think he's got it!
http://wwww.
hello, operator?
http://wwww.
sexed101
http://wwww.
a heart of gold
http://wwww.
alright, cut!!!
http://wwww.
let's get it over with
http://wwww.
for what I am about to receive
http://wwww.
a headache
http://wwww.
wow doctor
http://wwww.
THE JOKES
Betty's girlfriend was relating, "Well after over a half hour of pretty heavy making out, I asked him,
"Are you ready for some oral sex now?'"
Betty commented, "Oh wow, I bet he jumped at that suggestion ?."
Her friend said, "Yeah he did, but he damn nearly fell off the couch when I said,
'Good ! ... then you can go home and call me.'"
____________
Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (with their habits partially blocking the view),
three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.
In a very loud voice, the first guy says, "I think I'm going to move to Utah , there are only 100 nuns living there."
The second guy speaks up also and says, "I want to go to
Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there."
The third guy says, " I want to go to
Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there."
One of the nuns turns around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet calm voice replies. . . . . . .
"Why don't you go to Hell...... there aren't any nuns there."
____________
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.
When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night The old man would shout,
"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences
that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,
"Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and
come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......."
____________
Mr. & Mrs. Smith had been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when
Mr. Smith came home from work and said to his blonde wife that he had
invited 4 of his friends from the office home for dinner on Friday night.
Mrs. Smith was a bit apprehensive and asked if she must cook a meal for
the four. Mr. Smith explained that there would be eight coming because
each would bring his wife or a date. Since this was there first party,
he consoled her by saying that all she has to do was get some Chinese
food in and perhaps she could bake a cake. This sounded like a good
idea, and they sat down and decided what Chinese food to get.
Friday morning his wife called the office in tears. She explained that
the only cake recipe she had would only feed six.
Her hubby said, "Why don't you just double the recipe?"
She decided that was a good idea.
At four, hubby got another phone call -- this time quite frantic.
"I just can't do it," the wife weeped. "It's impossible."
"Now, now, what's the matter?"
"Well, the recipe calls for two eggs..."
"So, you use FOUR eggs. Don't you have them?
"Yes -- Then it needs 4 cups of flour."
"Well," hubby said rather testily, "you will have to use 8 cups of flour -- what is the problem?"
"It isn't the ingredients,
be baked at 350 degrees and I have checked the oven and I can't turn the heat up to 700 degrees!"
____________
A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger
congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the
congregation,
Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up
and proclaims, .... "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a
new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to
transport their children!" The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and
says,...."If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double
his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college
education of all his children!"
More sighs and loud applause, Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and
announces with a smile, "If the Preacher
stays, .... I will give him sex!" There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her, . "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed
you to say that?" Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to
hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his
head from side to side, while his wife replies,....
"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, .... "Screw the Preacher!"
____________
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing
Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the
lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are
now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's
and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell
which is your husbands."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these
expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband
off somewhere in t he middle of town. If he finds his way
home, don't fuck him."
BUFFALO'S
movies
invisible fence
http://www.buffalos
parrots
http://www.buffalos
bad idea
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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