Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
When God Created Fathers
When the lord was creating fathers, he started with a tall frame. And
an angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you're going
to make
children so close to the ground, why have you put father up so high?
He
won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, or kiss and tuck a
child in
bed without bending."
God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would
children have to look up to?"
And when god made father's hand, they were very large and strong. The
angel
shook his head sadly and said, "Do you know what you are doing? Large
hands
are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber
bands or
ponytails, or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."
God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold
everything a small son empties from his pockets at the end of the
day... yet small enough to cup a daughters face in his hands."
Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearly
had a
heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right!" he
sighed, "Do
you realize you just made a father without a lap? How is he going to
pull a
child close and hold him without the kid falling between his legs?"
God smiled and said, "A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled,
balance a boy on a bicycle, or hold a sleepy head on the way home
from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had
ever seen when the angel could contain himself no longer. "That's not
fair!
Do you honestly think those large things are going to dig out of bed
early
in the morning when the baby cries, or walk through a small birthday
party
without crushing at least three of the guest?"
God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a
small child who wants to ride a horse to the kitchen and back, or
scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a
challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a
firm, authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained
calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an after thought, he added.
tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now there you have it,
the complete dad!"
And the angel, shuteth up.
By Erma Bombeck
I want to take a moment on this day that 23 countries celebrate as
Father's Day to recognize those Dads and Fathers that are one
of the two most important people in their children's lives. Another
moment to remember those fathers that have passed on and say
I Love You Dad you did a great job. I have no words for those
that abandon or fail to support their children, this is not your day.
Take care buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Father Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learn to Say
~ FATHER~
in 130 Different Languages
* Afrikaans : vader
* Albanian : baba ; atë
* Apalai (Amazon) : papa
* Arabic : babba ; yebba ; abbi (classical)
* Aragones : pai
* Asturian : pá
* Aymara : awki
* Azeri (Latin Script) : ata
* Bangla : Baba ; Abba
* Basque : aita
* Bergamasco : pàder
* Bolognese : pèder
* Bosnian : otac
* Brazilian Portuguese : pai
* Bresciano : bubà ; pàder
* Breton : tad
* Calabrese : patre ; patri ; pa ; papà ; papallu ; patra
* Caló : batú ; bato ; batico ; dadá
* Catalan : pare
* Catanese : pattri ; opà
* Chechen (Caucasus) : daa
* Chechen : da
* Cree (Canada) : -papa
* Croatian : otac
* Czech : táta, otec
* Dakota (USA) : ate
* Dutch : vader ; papa ; pappie
* Dzoratâi : pére
* East African : baba
* English : father ; dad ; daddy ; pop ; poppa ; papa
* Esperanto : patro
* Estonian : isa
* Faeroese : faðir
* Filipino : tatay, itay, tay ; ama
* Finnish : isä
* Flemish : vader
* French : papa
* Frisian : heit
* Galician : pai
* German : banketi, Papi
* Griko Salentino : ciúri
* Guaran : túva ; ru
* Hebrew : abba(h)
* Hindi : Papa ; Pita-ji
* Hungarian : apa
* Hungarian : apa ; apu ; papa ; édesapa
* Icelandic : pabbi ; faðir
* Indonesian : bapa ; ayah ; pak
* Irish : athair ; daidí
* Italian : babbo
* Japanese : otosan, papa
* Judeo-Spanish : padre ; baba ; babu
* Kikuyu : baba
* Kiswahili : Baba
* Kobon (New Guinea) : bap
* Kurdish Kurmanji : bav
* Ladin : pere
* Latin : pater ; papa ; atta
* Latvian : tevs
* Leonese : pai
* Ligurian : paire
* Limburgian : vader ; vajer ; pap
* Lingala : tata
* Lithuanian : tevas ; pradininkas ; protevis
* Lombardo Occidentale : bubà
* Lunfardo : viejo
* Luo (Kenya) : baba
* Maasai : papa ; paapa ; olaiiu
* Malagasy : ray
* Malay : bapa
* Malay : bapa
* Maltese : missier
* Mandarin : bà ; bàba (informal)
* Mandarin Chinese : baba
* Mantuan : upà ; papà ; babbo
* Maori : haakoro ; kohake
* Mapunzugun : chaw ; chao
* Modern Greek : babbas
* Moravian : tata
* Mudnés : pèder
* Nadsat : Pee
* Nahuatl (Mexico) : ta'
* Napulitano : pate
* Nepali : buwa
* Norwegian : pappa ; far
* Occitan : paire
* Parmigiano : päder
* Persian/Farsi : pedar, pitar ; simply Baabaa
* Piemontese : pare
* Pipil (El Salvador) : tatah
* Polish : tata ; ojciec
* Portuguese : pai
* Quechua (Ecuador) : tayta
* Quechua : tata ; churiyaqe
* Rapanui : koro ; matu'a ; matu'a tane
* Reggiano : peder
* Romagnolo : bà
* Romani : dad
* Romanian : tata
* Romanian : tata ; parinte ; taica
* Romansh : bab
* Russian : papa
* Saami : áhcci
* Samoan : tama
* Sango : baba
* Sanskrit : tàtah ; janak
* Sardinian (Limba Sarda Unificada) : babu
* Sardinian Campidanesu : babbu
* Sardinian Logudoresu : babbu
* Shona : baba
* Sicilian : patri
* Slovak : otec
* Slovenian : ôèe
* Spanish : papá ; viejo ; tata
* Swahili : baba ; mzazi
* Swedish : pappa
* Swiss German : Vatter
* Tagalog : tatay ; ama
* Triestino : pare
* Turkish : baba
* Turkmen : däde ; kaka
* Urdu : Abbu ; Abbu-ji ; Abbu-jan ; bap
* Valencian : pare
* Venetian : pare ; popà ; 'opà ; pupà ; papà
* Viestano : attèn'
* Wallon : pére
* Welsh : tad
* Xhosa (South Africa) : -tata
* Yiddish : tatti ; tay ; foter ; tateh
* Zeneize : poæ
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Why Beer Should Be At The Bottom Of
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.
Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you, one is
called
a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things,
and
have intelligent conversations with Eve.
"The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you
to
reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet.
Eve will
be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, 'These are great gifts you have given
to me.
What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news
is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate
one of these organs at a time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was at the local golf club for his weekly round of golf. He
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The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.
The doctor couldn't hold back a snigger. He said, "Just kidding.
She died an hour ago. What'd you end up shooting?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Quote Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TOP QUOTES OF THE WEEK
*"Cametero Dios analyzed more than 1,500 people between the ages of
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*George Bush is traveling around Europe. A couple of days ago, he's
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*Superman turned 69 this week. You can tell Superman is getting up
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*This just in. Congress today voted to take enough money from the U.
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*Tonight marks the final episode of The Sopranos. From now on, people
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*According to a new poll out today, Hillary Clinton's lead in the
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*Los Angeles Laker Kobe Bryant is upset about being labeled a
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*A billboard in Florida resembling a giant name tag reading "Hello,
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"I can't believe they would put that near a park," said Michelle
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city officials asked the radio station to remove the sign from its
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Laugh)
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to
be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt
that they should be tested at their age, the old man said, "Well, we
heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one, when the teacher asked if
anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
covers off the neighbor's wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and a woman are driving in the car when they see a wounded skunk
on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up
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do?" He says: "Put it between your legs." She says: "What about the
smell?" He says: "Hold its nose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slipper Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and
get
me slippers?"
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two
stunning 19 year old twin daughters
sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Fook off you liar!".
"I'll prove it," Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
What My Father Means To Me
http://men.msn.
PoofCat w/When I See Through Daddy's Eyes
http://www.poofcat.
Joyce w/Heavenly Father
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History of Fathers Day
http://www.twilight
Sassy w/Remembering You
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Dad Turns Via Juanita
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Remembering You Via Juanita
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Father's Day
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First Father's Day
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More Animated Images for Father's Day
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Marilyn w/Fields Of Blessings On Father's Day
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Father's day Love
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Father Only In My Heart
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Movies
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
By tradition more than need anymore, some smaller commuter airlines
still
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When I went into labor, I notified my parents, and they rushed to the
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Multi Tasking
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Jokes On You
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a hooker named Gail
Who had her price tatooed on her tail
Also if you are blind
Also on her behind
It's written in braille
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a guy named Herby
who 's girl wore a bowtie and derby
Like it or not,
She had a clean shaven twat
I guess there's no furby for Herby
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a horseplaying golfer named Trey
Goosed a girl in the rough one fine day
He found her, though willing,
Just barely fulfilling..
"I would rate her," said Trey, "a par lay."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's
Penis
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After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own
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After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the
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sex.
Canadians, unsatisfied with these findings, ; ;conducte d their own
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2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer, they
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forehead.
Mary Jane
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I knew it, I knew it !!!
I knew they would finally release the ingredients in Viagra:
3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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presents
Chill With God
4 Hours of contemporary, reflective and devotional music
to nurture a spirit of contemplation at the many
wonders of God's Universe.
To Listen to a Sample,
http://buffalosjoke
Special Offer: Get a CWG T-Shirt with the purchase of a CD set.
(a $17.99 value)
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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