[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner




 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER



"The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to have it make a
difference that you lived at all -- using the talents that God has given
you for the betterment of others."

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Life isn't always fun
But it should be!
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
The City of Grand Rapids is due to receive its portion of bailout money
from the Obama stimulus bill shortly. A total of 3 million dollars. Of
that, 800,000 of it is scheduled to be used to repair the Adams apartments.
Which is a low income housing project that has fallen into disrepair.
Broken doors, windows and other improvements will be made. I suppose
that is good if you work for a window company; the rest of the money is
scheduled to be used to help with utility shuttoffs and similar assistance
programs.  But I am not sure how another hand out program is
going to create jobs. You know, I can't help but ask my self what if.
Suppose that $$700 billion of the bailout  package had been used differently,
istead of spending it on banks and the car companies. What if it
was spent as incentives to bring companies that moved to Mexico and
China back into the US? Then, when Americans are building cameras
again, they go back to work, because Sony received enough money
to make it worth doing business in America. Americans can pay their
mortgage, and that saves the banks. And just maybe, if it works well
enough, some folks might buy a new car, and that saves the car
companies. Seems more intelligent than spending it on companies
that are getting rid of employees. And just maybe, if law makers
were really smart, they would repeal the NAFTA act, which caused
this loss of jobs in the first place. Then we wouldn't have needed to
spend the 700 billion at all. And just maybe, Americans will take a
little pride in themselves again when they see shelves with goods
that are quality, well made, and MADE IN AMERICA!
We don't need another bailout or handout. We just need a little
self respect.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
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THE COMICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject
turned to getting older. The first guy said,
"Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older."
"What do you mean?" asked the second guy.
"Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time I
was able to get it up in bed, but my wife - she's healthier than
ever!" "Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered.
"Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed
she'd get these terrible headaches." He answered. "Now that we're
older, she hasn't had a headache in years."
_____________
 
You might be a redneck if...
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You might be a redneck if...
There is a wasp nest in your living room. You might be a redneck if...
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make
it look nice. You might be a redneck if...
The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. You might be a redneck if...
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you. You might be a redneck if...
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
_____________
 
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college
looking for the library. He approaches a student and
asked, "Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough to
tell me where the library is at?"
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone,
replied, "I'm sorry, sir, but at this school, we are
taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!"
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone
replied, "I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase
my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where
the library is at, dummy?"
______________
 
There was a clerk in a small town general store in the
South. One day, a tall man entered the store and began
filling a shopping cart with items.
This man was so distinctive in that he could have been
the official spokesperson for Quaker Oats. He was
dressed in black, very tall and had that hat just like
the Quaker Oats guy wears.
Well, the clerk had never seen a Quaker before, let
alone talked to one. When the man reached the counter
with his selections the clerk could hardly contain
himself. "Are you a Quaker"? he asked as he was trying
to ring up the merchandise.
"Yes," the tall man said with a little edge in his voice.
"No joke?" asked the clerk, "You're really a real Quaker?"
The man, looking a little more perturbed, said, "Yes,
I am a real Quaker."
"Wow!" the young clerk said, "I never seen a real
Quaker before. Would you say something in Quaker talk
for me?" asked the clerk.
The tall man ignored this request and waited for his
merchandise to be tallied up. As clerk finished ringing
up the sale he said, "Please mister, say something in
Quaker talk?"
The man finally leaned over the counter in a gesture
of secrecy. The clerk leaned forward in order to hear
the quiet reply. The man said, "Screw Thee."
_____________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman





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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner



 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
If you think you are paranoid, don't worry about it.
They are probably just out to get you.
 
 
 
 
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GOOD MORNIG POSTMAN FANS!
It has been raining steadily here in West Michigan since about 3
yesterday afternoon. Temps hit a remarkable 50 degrees. When it
gets that hot outisde, that is when Michiganders start asking,
"Hot enough for ya?" or "What do you think of this heat wave."
That probably sounds pretty silly to a lot of you southerners, but
believe me, if you spent one winter in Michigan, you could relate.
The nice thing about it is that it is melting the snow fast and furious.
Turned the streets into rivers yesterday and there are flash flood
warnings for all the counties. I am glad for the rain myself, but Turk
the dog, aka "Carlos the rat" does not like rain any more than
snow. When it started raining, I called to the dog, "Wanna go out?"
And of course his ears perked up, tail wagging and he got all
excited. Then I opened the door do so he could see out. The poor
little critter drooped his tail and turned and ran back to his cage
and didn't make a sound since. There is nothing more pitiful looking
than him when he comes in all sopping wet and he looks up at you
with a sad look on his face like, "Grandpa, can't you make it all go
away?" Some folks asked me why I call him "the rat." Altho the mutt
is supposed to be a purebred chihuahua, according to my daughter,
he most likely is not. He has the facial features reminiscent of a rat
terrier, and he stands about 10 pounds. That is a little large for a
chihuahua. And quite frankly, if he did see a mouse or a rat, he
would probably turn tail and run for cover. Yesterday,
when we were out, Oscar spied us. Oscar is the neighborhood
calico cat. He has been a member of the neighborhood as long
as anyone can remember, altho no one really knows who Oscar reaally
belongs to. We all take a turn at tossing out a few scraps
to him, and he has no problem munching on a handful of Turk's dog
food now and then, either. If you don't toss him a handout at least
occasionally, he will make quick work of the garbage and let you
know he is still around. Apparently, judging by his size, its a
good life for Oscar.  He is pretty fat for a cat and is almost as
big as Turk. Normally pretty shy, Oscar came up to within four
feet of Turk to investigate. Turk is a chicken and he immediately
retreated betwen my legs before Oscar lost his nerve and ran away
himself. It took a large amount of whining and whimpering for
Turk to convince me that the walk should be done. Apparently Turk
was about as scared of Oscar as meeting up with aliens.
I hope it does not freeze this weekend, because that could turn
things into a mess. They are predicting temps in the teens tomrrow.
That is ok, though. This is the "war department's" weekend
off and there is nothing important to do so we can hybernate.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
 
 
 
THE COMICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
wonder why they would want to?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r058.html
 
carry on putting rubbish in your mouth.
a tacky anti smoking ad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r059.html
 
are you a bore?
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_____________


http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/g2228.jpg


LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
INTERESTING STUFF
 
 
 
what 500k$$ will get you world wide
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2097.html
 
 
COOL PICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The old gentleman was aging more rapidly than he wanted.
"Your gout is getting worse," said the doctor. "I recommend that
you give up smoking, drinking and sex for a while." "WHAT!" said
the man, "just so's I can walk a little better? If it wasn't for smoking,
drinking and sex I wouldn't get out of my rocker
in the first place!"
________________
 
Little Johnny's father decided it was time for14-year-old Little
Johnny, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house
of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor. He introduces
Little Johnny to the madam, and explains that it's time for his
indoctrination to sex. The madam says,
"You've been such a good customer over the years, I'm going
to see to this personally." So she takes Little Johnny by the hand
and leads him upstairs, where she completes his deflowering. Later,
as they are walking downstairs the madam says, "Since this is
your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full treatment
before you leave. I'm going to give you a manicure." Two weeks
later Little Johnny and his father run into the madam on the
main street. Little Johnny is acting a little shy, so the madam
smiles and says, "Well, Little Johnny, don't you remember me?"
"Yes, Ma'am, " Little Johnny stammers, "you're the lady that gave
me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em."
_____________
 
Once upon a time in China lived two men whose names were
I KUM and NO KUM. NO KUM was married to a young and very pretty
 girl named NO KUM TU, while I KUM was single.
One night I KUM went to see is friend NO KUM. Upon arriving at
NO KUM'S home, I KUM found out that NO KUM was not at home.
NO KUM'S wife NO KUM TU invited I KUM to stay the night with her. T
hat night NO KUM TU came which gave I KUM great pleasure
as I KUM came too. After a time NO KUM found out that he was
going to be a father, but NO KUM didn't know how come. When the
little child was born, NO KUM named him HOW KUM YOU KUM. But
NO KUM TU and I KUM know how come, HOW KUM YOU KUM
came. Until this day NO KUM doesn't know how come,
HOW KUM YOU KUM came.
_________________

Flip Words
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38742&s=n
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Mary: Well, I've never known anyone so forward! This perfect stranger
just walked up to me at the party and asked, "How would you
like some mind-blowing, earth-shaking, window-shattering sex?"
Jill: I can't believe it!
Mary: Neither could I! When I told him, "No, thanks!" he just added, "Well,
would you mind lying down so that I could have some?"
_______________
 
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
 
Q: What's the difference between a woman of today and a    Computer?
A: A woman of today won't accept a three and a half inch    floppy.
_______________
 
You might be having a bad day if...
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 hell's angels.
You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
You get to work and find a "60 minutes" news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin brother/sister forgets your birthday.
Your 4-year old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your
preparation-H.
________________
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
 
 
New From Glade
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adsfw.htm
_______________
 
PAPA Thorn
 
 
 
 
 
Which is bigger?
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=008Lineup.jpg 

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
 


 



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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner





THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
If you can't see the bright side then
polish the dull side.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
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We want to know. AND, you could get a $100 gift card for giving your opinion.
Will rising gas prices keep you from going on vacation this summer?
Yes or No?
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Tell us your answer, then participate for a FREE* $250 grocery gift card.
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Which company offers you the best coverage: Sprint(R) or Cingular Wireless(R)?
Vote in our survey now. Then participate to qualify for a FREE*
$100 American Express(R) gift card.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I was walking through the local Meijer store when my eyes beheld a
wonderful sight. Buttermilk. I remember as a kid, hot summer days
sitting on the front porch with Grandma, churning away making butter.
and then pouring out the good bits of runny cream ...
and after a couple hours in the root cellar in a metal milk can it was
a welcome treat for supper. One favorite combo when buttermilk was
involved was to serve  along with home made pickled sausage, and
cornbread which we ground up ourselves, and snap peas, picked from
the garden and served up fresh. And if you were really good that day,
Granddad might reward you by taking out some of his home made beef
jerky. There was not a better meal to be found in all of America.
So anyways, I bought the half gallon, brought it home, and was
much disappointed. Somehow, that pasturized substitute just did not
cut it compared to the home made stuff I remember when I was a kid.
Now adays, instead of churning,  they use an acid to separate the fat and
pour off the milk, and its just not the same. You know, it used to be,
you could walk into any breakfast restaurant worth its salt and get a
glassful, But now even CrackerBarrel doesn't serve it. And it seems to
have fallen out of favor with most Americans. Seems like many
Americans have forgotten the really good things in life these days. Things
like self reliance, pride, and the belief that if you work hard and live
right, you can achieve the American dream. These apparently
are all ideas from the past that are no longer valid. These days, its
better to pop open a bottle of water, and turn on the tube 
, and wait for the government to give
you a hand out and tell you what you need to do. Oh, I'm sorry,
I guess the word "handout" is a thing of the past too, lets be
politically correct, its a a bailout. While all these great
government programs are supposed to be really wonderful
and all that, I think our new presidential administration would do
well by concentrating on more important things, like bringing back
good, home made, fresh churned buttermilk.
It would be a lot less expensive than 800 billion dollars, too.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
 
THE COMICS
now that's using your imagination!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r041.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
____________



http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/g2226.jpg

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Garth Brooks-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5003.html
______________
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INTERESTING STUFF
 
 
 
 
COOL PICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other
day that he wasn't getting any respect. The next day,
he brought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss!"
He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when
he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped
a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called, and she
wants her sign back!"
______________
 
Bar Translations - 3 of 3
"Excuse me." (female to male)
Don't even think about groping me, just get the f%ck
out of the way.
"Excuse Me." (female to female)
Move your fat arse. Who do you think you are anyway? You
are not all that hot, missy, and don't think for one
minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a
ho...Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you!.
"I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning."
I owe that guy who just walked in the door 100 pounds
and have been avoiding him since football season.
"What do you have on tap?"
What's cheap?
"You go ahead, I'll catch a cab."
I already lined up a ride home with your "ex".
"That person looks really familiar."
Did I sleep with him/her?
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (female)
I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (male)
It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking an hour ago.
I probably dropped half of my paypack in here last
night, it is the least you can do for me.
"Do you have any Wild Turkey?"
I want to make my friend really sick so we can all
laugh at him in the morning.
"I don't have my ID on me." (female)
I'm 19.
___________
 
Trailer Park Rules
1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three years.
2. No draining your oil onto the street.
3. No loud and wild parties without inviting the manager.
4. You may have no more than 3 beer can wind chimes each only having no more than 6 cans each.
5. Drunkenness will not be tolerated in the streets prior to 10 am.
6. While outside of your trailer you must be at least partially clothed.
7. If you prefer to clean your trailer in the nude, please close the curtains.
8. When bringing in the Jerry Springer or COPS film crews, please provide the
management prior written notice so that certain residents may be forewarned.
9. Empty beer bottles should not be discarded on the front lawn.  However, they may remain there until you are sober enough to collect them with the understanding you will collect them within 7 days whether sober or not.
10. When bringing dates home to your trailer, please be advised that in the
event the sidewalks need to be repaired or replaced due to the weight of your
date, you will be responsible for all cost incurred.
_________________
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The only cow in a small town near Newcastle stopped giving milk.
The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow in
Lithgow for $200. They brought the cow from Lithgow and the cow was
wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were
very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to
produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their
beloved cow. However, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the
cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the
cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his
quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was
very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever
the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you by chance,
buy this cow in Newcastle?" The people were dumbfounded, since no
one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a
wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Newcastle?"
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Newcastle"
_____________
 
A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have
to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?'
The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.'
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?'
The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what
should I do?' The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll
see what I can find out and I'll let you know.' A week later the Rabbi calls the
man and says, 'Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three
hours. You want my advice?'
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, 'Take the poison'
________
 
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. 'Give me one last request, dear,' he said.
'Of course, John,' his wife said softly.
'Six months after I die,' he said, 'I want you to marry Bob.'
'But I thought you hated Bob,' she said.
With his last breath John said, 'I do!'
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
 
 
 
PAPA Thorn
 
 
Sailing Egyptian style                   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Sailing.jpg
 
 
Einsteine's family               
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=EINSTEIN.JPG
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
 
 
 



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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
 


THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
 
 
How much better it is to laugh at ourselves than
to be angry with the world.
 ~Dr. Marilyn Arnold
 
 
 
 

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes 
 People who do less work...
make less mistakes 
 People who do no work...
make no mistakes 
 People who make no mistakes...
get promoted 
 That's why I spend most of my time
Sending e-mails & playing games at work,
I need a promotion.
Oh ya, I forgot, I gotta have a job to get a promotion
bummer.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
reason to celebrate
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r040.html
_____________
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/g2224.jpg

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/g2225.jpg


INTERESTING STUFF
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
 
 

Two blonde girls were working for the city council public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the
hole in.  They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then
moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at
their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are
putting into your work, but I don't get it... Why do you dig a hole, only
to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'   The hole digger
wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because
we're normally a three-person team, but today
the girl who plants the trees called in sick.
_______________
 
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are
only 3  Survivors; Bob, Tom and Debbie. They manage to swim to a
small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's
natural for men and women to do. After several years of casual sex,
all the time, Debbie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad
that she killed herself. It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get
through it. After a while, Bob and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings
waned and the inevitable happened. Well, a couple more years went by
and Bob and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were
doing. So they buried Debbie.
__________________
 
The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for
room and board for the night.
The farmer told him there was no vacant room.
"I could let you sleep with my daughter," the farmer said, "if you
promise not to bother her."  The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper,
he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the
farmer's daughter at his side.  He decided to have his way with her, he finished
and rolled over and went to sleep.  The next morning he asked for his bill.
"It'll be just two dollars, since you had to share the bed," the farmer said. 
"Your daughter was very cold," the salesman said.  "Yes, I know," said the farmer. "We're going to bury her today."
___________
 
"Doctor," a man told his psychotherapist, "My wife uses her vibrator
every evening and for a long time. What should I do?"
"Well," replied the doctor, "Maybe you should be more attentive to
her sexual needs and make love to her more often..."
"It's not that, "interrupted the man, "It's just that the damn thing
interferes with the TV remote!"
____________
 
There man named Jose that worked in the fields of a rural country
cutting down trees, and every afternoon his wife Maria used to bring
him his lunch. Well one afternoon Jose got horny and started fucking the
shit out of Maria, as they were doing it a bee flew by and stung her right
next to her nipple. Days went by and the swelling wouldn't go away, so
Jose took her to the doctor's. The doctor took a look at it and said
"Well we're going to have to get the puss out
in order for her breast to heal, and the best way to do that is to suck it out."
Jose looked at the doctor and said "Isn't there another way?"
The doctor said "Nope, the old-fashion way is the best way for this."
So of course he believed the doctor and went along with it, so the doctor went
off on Maria's tit, I mean he sucked the shit out of it, he had her moaning and
everything. A week later Jose while taking a piss got stung right on the tip of his
dick so he went to the doctor. The doctor took a look at it and said, "Holy shit, that things huge! I'll be right back, I'm going to go get a shot that will make the puss
come right out."Jose looked at him and said, "NO, no, no, like you said the old
fashion way is the best way. Now start sucking!"
________________
 
"How did this accident occur?" asked the doctor.
"Well," explained the  patient, "I was making love to my girlfriend on the
living-room rug when, all of a sudden, the chandelier came crashing down on us."   "Fortunately, you've only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks," the doctor said. "You're a very lucky man." 
"You said it, doc," exclaimed the man.
"A minute sooner and it would have fractured my skull!"
____________
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
 

The Elevator
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsdksl.htm
_______________
 
PAPA Thorn
 
DON'T be home late...or else!
[CAUTION....this may be too revolting for men to view]  
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=008Home-late.gif
 
Once a biker....              
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Married_Man_Harley.jpg
 
 
Well muscled limb              
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Muscled.jpg
 
Frog...or horse?                   
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=Optical_Illusion0014.jpg
_______________
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
 
 

 



__._,_.___


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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Wed



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

The MSN homepage today had an article about the ten items
that people miss the most. It had a variety of products that are
no longer manufactured in their original form or at all ranging
from the Polaroid Camera to Postum to the Today sponge. It
then asked for a list of items that you missed. I guess my choice
would have to be the old double edge razor. I have always been
one to let my beard grow and then something will pop up I
need to look decent for and I have to whack a goatee and
mustache out of a faceful of hair. Even attacking it at first with
scissors and a pair of clippers I am still left with something that
clogs all of the multiple blade razors about a thousand times
before I am done.

The best razor I ever had was one of the old gold ones that had
three pieces. You unscrewed the handle separated the two halves
and put a double edge blade in and reassembled. The clearances
were greater and even if it did clog up, you loosened the handle
a turn or two and it rinsed right out. Used a heck of a lot less
water
during shaving too and you could probably do the job in a cup of
water instead of having a tap running full blast. I think my next
favorite was made by Shick and was a cartridge razor with a single
edge blade on a roll. A twist of the little handle would bring up a
fresh
edge and when you ran out you swapped cartridges.

So what do you miss that they don't make anymore?

Yahoo Groups has been busy rolling out some new features over
the last. This has caused some delays in mail delivery and even a
few remarks of multiple deliveries that could be Yahoo and could
be standard email problems.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Poker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped

some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick
them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear
under
her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again,
hit
his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Jim went to the

kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked,
'Did
you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her
boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well,
you
can have it but it will cost you $500.' After taking a minute or two

to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms

that he is interested. Sue told him that since her husband Bob
worked
Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around
2
p. m. Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at

Bob's house at 2 p.. m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of

$500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as
agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bob came home from
work at 6 p. m. And upon arriving, asked his wife, 'Did Jim come by

the house this afternoon?' With a lump in her throat Sue answered
'Why
yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart
nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he
give
you $500?' Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in
fact he did give me $500.' Bob, with a satisfied look on his face,
surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning
and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this
afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

viagra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r024.html

the book
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r025.html

potato chips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r026.html

Honeymoon
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31208.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31208.htm "> Here!</a>

He Likes You
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31206.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31206.htm "> Here!</a>

Corn Roll
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31207.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31207.htm "> Here!</a>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sandwich Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy nearing the end of his senior year in high school
unfortunately still has to share a room with his brother who is only
9 years old.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is
already on the lower bunk. So he and his girlfriend climbed into the
top bunk.

As you expected, things began to heat up. The guy remembers that his
brother is sleeping below, so he tells his girlfriend to whisper,
"Lettuce" if she wants it harder, and "Tomato" if she wants a new
position.

She screams, "Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Whoa!!!
Pull It Out Now! I Can't Get Pregnant!"

Then the little brother shouts, "Hey, would you two guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spark Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Young Tim has just finished high school and, not being too bright,
he
wants to get a job at a local mechanic's workshop in Christchurch.
Tim spies this advert for a job in a Motor Spares Shop and hurries
over. Unfortunately, when he steps in there are already 2 guys there
before him. Tim with tears in his eyes explains to the manager that
he really needs the job. Manager looks at him and says, "You know
what Tim - I'd really like to give you this job but see these two
guys are here before you .. you're going to have be really something
special to get this job you know!" Tim thinks now, mmmm, and then he
says, "well boss, there is one thing - if you take a spark plug and
stick it into my arse - I can tell you what type of spark plug it
is." The manager goes "Wow .. that's something - lets test you out!"
So Tim turns around and drops his pants. The boss takes a Bosch
spark plug and shoves it into Tim's arse. Tim
goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... Bosch!!". The boss, goes .. "Wow, that's
really something - but lets test you out again!" He takes a NGK
spark
plug and shoves it into Tim's arse. Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee .....
NGK !!". The boss, goes .. "Wow, you're really good .. but, one
more time - I need to be sure. " Boss thinks now, lets catch this
guy out! He unzips his pants, takes out his penis and sticks it into
Tim's arse. Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeeee .... Champion!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lion Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A gorilla is walking through the jungle. He parts the bushes by the
watering hole and sees a lion taking a drink of water with his butt
sticking up in the air.

The gorilla thinks to himself that it would be really funny if he
snuck
up
behind this "King of the Jungle" and slipped him the ol' Liberace.
So
the
gorilla sneaks up on his tiptoes behind the lion, grabs him by the
hips,
and starts fucking him up his ass as hard as he can.

Then he pulls out and runs away, laughing his head off. He thinks
it's
the funniest thing he's ever done in his life, fucking the "King of
the
Jungle" up the ass.

The lion is pissed. "Rrroooooaarrrr!!!" he says, and runs after the
gorilla.

Now, the gorilla can't run very fast, and the lion keeps getting
closer
and closer, so the gorilla ducks into an empty safari camp, puts on
a
set
of safari cloths with the pith helmet and everything, picks up a
paper,
sits down with the paper held up in front of his face, and makes
like
he's
reading it.

Just then, the lion walks in. "Rrroooooaarrrr!!!" he says. "Did you
just
see a big gorilla run through here?"

The gorilla starts shaking under the paper. "Uh, you mean the one
that
just f-fucked the lion up the ass?" he stutters.

The lion sits up with a start and says, "Jesus! It's in the paper
already!?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new
drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a
convent?

The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit forming.

A guy cuddled up to his wife and softly whispered into her ear:
"Could we make love, please dear?"

She rolled over away from him. "Not tonight, darling, I've got a
splitting headache," she replied rather tersely.

Too horny to read the obvious signals the husband pleaded. "Please,
honey. I'll only stick it in for a minute"

"What do you think I am," his wife retorted, "a fucking microwave?"

Doug and Bill were discussing the new secretary at
their office.

Doug to Bill: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we
had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my
wife!"

Two days later.

Bill to Doug: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as
well, but she sure isn't a lot better than your wife."

~~~~~

Mary: Don't you just hate when you want ONE cookie, but you have to
buy whole bag to get one?

Jill: Right! Or maybe you want ONE doughnut, but you have to buy the
whole box of a dozen!

Mary: And the hotel charges for the whole night when you're going to
use it for only a couple of hours!

~~~~~

Doug went to a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm really worried about
my wife. Yesterday she posed for a nude picture."

The psychiatrist said, "Well I wouldn't worry about that. It's
probably just an expression of her interest in art. What was the
nude
picture for?"

Doug said, "Her driver's license."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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ORG Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello, help desk." "Yes, this is Mrs. Duffy on the sixth floor. I
want to report a violation of company policy."

"What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Duffy?"

"I have found some of the computers in the office here are being
used to look at orgies."

"We have filtering software on the network that prevents sites like
that from being displayed."

"Well, I just sat down at one of the computers and clicked on the
bookmarks."

"And there's a list of pornographic sites?"

"I should say so. Quite a few."

"They should be blocked by the filter. Did you click on them?"

"I didn't have to. They say dot O-R-G and I've been around long
enough to know what that means."

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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Peaceful Memories
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ann/A_P.html

carolyn w/ Take Good Care Of My Baby
http://tinyurl.com/b5oxd7

Life's Railway To Heaven
http://heavens-gates.com/patsy/lifesrailway/

My Heart's Desire
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol13.html

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Surfin Surfari

Senior Stimulus Via Sally
http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourmoney/personalfinance/articles/senior_s
timulus_payments.html

Lent
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent

To Give Away Sea Shadow
http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/ship/sea_shadow.htm

Meez
http://www.meez.com/

I Neighbors
http://www.i-neighbors.org/

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

PHP Calendar
http://www.easyphpcalendar.com/

Twisted Brush Open Studio
http://www.pixarra.com/download.html

Thirty Days With Linux
http://tinyurl.com/34bxnf

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.loveyourdog.com/beagles.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.loveyourdog.com/cat.html

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Movie Clips

Milk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkak.htm

Money
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkllp.htm

What Came Over Me (Buffalo Made Me Do This)
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaol.htm

Mum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaoo.htm

My New Country Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/oqqooq.htm

The Elevator
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsdksl.htm

Bud Light BBQ
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfwsed.htm

Christmas Lights On House
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfstew.htm

Court House Shooting Idiot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sfserfs.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know
that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get
married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny
are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing that he had ever heard,
Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you
two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny
replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit
there nicely." Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says
with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old
enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny
instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I
make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should
do us just fine." By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that
Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment
trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer
to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like
you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more
question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have
little ones of your own?" Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says
"Well, we've been lucky sofar" Mr. Smith doesn't think the little
s**t is adorable anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black Boyfriend
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31330.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31330.htm "> Here!</a>

Overqualified
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31329.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31329.htm "> Here!</a>

Oscar
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31328.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/31328.htm "> Here!</a>

Crystal Meth
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=006DrinkUpx006.jpg

Celery freak! (naughty alert)
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=006EatMoreVeggiesx006.jpg

Canadian sporting event
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=005asports-CanadianRacing.jp
g

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Slap Chop is a manual chopper machine that works when you slap
the plunger part. Every slap triggers the 3 blades below to chop and
cut the food. The more you slap the
Slap Chop, the finer the food gets.

Chop up potatoes for home fries, or add mushrooms and green peppers
for a tasty side to
your eggs. Even use the Slap Chop for vegetables like carrots,
celery and radishes for an
instant salad. Nuts and chocolate are chopped easy for toppings on
ice-cream. The Slap Chop
is great for onions and even garlic so your fingers don't smell and
it saves time. The Slap Chop's
base opens up to expose the blades for easy cleaning.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/slap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a poor man named Crocket
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch,
So she cranked on the switch,
And Crocket took off like a rocket!
________________________________

There once was a woman from New Zealand
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
________________________________

There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
But he hadn't the knack,
And he got too far back --
In the right church, but in the wrong pew.
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!

What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.

http://buffaloschips.com/peeler

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know how everything in Texas is bigger than anywhere else? Well,

there was this Texan living in Bristol a while back. Huge fellow he
was, had to duck under all but the highest of doorways, and often
had
to go through sideways. And he was always going on about how much
bigger things were back home, used to really bore everyone senseless

with his bragging.

Anyway, he died one day, and wound up in a mortuary where a friend
of
mine worked. Charlie was telling me about the trouble they had,
trying to find a coffin big enough to plant him in. They looked
everywhere, but there was nothing that even came close, and it would

take time to have one specially made. "So what did you do?" I asked.

"Oh," said Charlie, "it was simple, really. We gave him an enema and

buried him in a shoe box."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker

Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's
sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and
mess from other methods. Meal time, snack time, every time is the
right time for sliders! And as a limited time offer, you'll receive
a Quick Prep Slicer at no charge.

Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/slider

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy came home from work, "Honey, where are you?"

"I'm upstairs douching," his wife answered.

"I told you never to talk like that!" he yelled.

"What do you want," she called out, "good grammar or good taste?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.

The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/micro

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was published in the Daily Oklahoman

Challenges, A Roadblock Or a Building Block

When in the Air Force I received a head injury that caused me to
have
seizures. It kept me from making the Air Force a career. I served
my one
hitch, four years but was discharged with a normal discharge with an
* on
my discharge papers meaning with medical circumstances. I found out
that
* kept me from obtaining jobs..factory jobs, driving jobs,
construction jobs.
I became depressed. So I searched inward and decided to not look at
what
I could not do, but what I could do. I have been in the ISD
business since
1971, I got discharged from the military in 1966. I also have done
consulting work and even preached at four churches. I am a
certified
lay counselor (Stephen Minister). I feel that I came to the fork in
the road
and my disability offered opportunities not limitations. I also
have written
stories that have been in several books...so I can say from
experience
our limitations are in our mind. Oh yes, I have 27 grandchildren
and
2 great grandchildren and a loving spouse.

BJ Cassady
Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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