THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Don't judge each day by the harvest
you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
- Robert Louis Stevenson
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Are you thinking about what to get the
hubby for xmas yet? worry no more, I
have the perfect gift for you...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
CORDIALLY
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
Joe's pizza
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t021.html
followed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t022.html
the new devices
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t023.html
the four groups
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t024.html
not my fault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t025.html
_________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1327.html
drunk buyin beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1328.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
prize winning ads
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd760.html
Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks
her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and
spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have
grown a treat.
She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese
sauce, and they taste wonderful.
After eating them for a week she notices two things.
Firstly, her lips are full and glossy, unchapped, uncracked,
and require absolutely no lip gloss to make them look full
and pouty.
Secondly, she has really awful bad breath, and even her cat
won't come near her.
Pleased with her lips, however, and spotting a money-making
idea, she contacts a big cosmetics company and explains
about the lip-enhancing qualities of her cauliflower crop.
After a month of testing, the company buys the entire crop
of cauliflowers for a phenomenal amount and requests that
Mary grow some more as soon as possible.
The company proceeds to make lipstick out of them but
experiences problems in the the final product manufacture.
The lipstick does not gel correctly into a solid stick and
ends up crumbling upon application. Quality controllers also
find that, even as a lipstick, the bad breath remains and
have to put it down as an unfortunate side effect.
As they are nearing their production deadline and adverts
for this new wonder lip enhancer have hit the streets, the
cosmetics company has no choice but to produce the packaging
with the following caution.
Poppins' Pop-up Lip Enhancer:
SUPER CAULI, FRAGILE LIPSTICK - EXPECT-HALITOSIS
______________
My daughter just walked into the living room and said
"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out,
throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV,
and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.
Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army
or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front
door key away from me and throw me out of the house.
Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't
forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother."
Well, she didn't put it quite like that... She actually said...
"Dad I have decided to work for the president's re-election campaign."
________________
A black man and his wife were going to a
Halloween party in a couple of
days so the husband tells his wife to go to
the store and get costumes
for them to wear. When he comes home
that night he goes into the bedroom
and there laid out on the bed is a
Superman costume. The husband yells at
his wife, What are you doing? Have you
ever heard of a black Superman? Take this
back and get me something else I can
wear. The next day the wife, not too
happy, returns the costume and gets a
replacement. The husband comes
home from work goes to the bedroom and
there laid out on the bed, is a Batman
costume. He again yells at his poor wife,
"What are you doing? Have
you ever heard of a black Batman? Take
this back and get me something I
can wear to the costume party!" The next
morning his irate wife goes shopping.
When the husband comes home again
from work, there laid out on
the bed are three items one is a set of
three white buttons, the second
is a thick white belt, and the third item is a
2 x 4 The husband yells at the
wife, What the hell are these for? " The
wife yells back," Take your clothes off. You
can put
the three white buttons on the front of you
and go as a domino. If you
don't like that idea, you can put the white
belt on and go as an Oreo. And if
you don't like THAT idea, you can shove
the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a
fudgesicle!
________________
BUFFALO BILL
blind 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksfnjsklf.htm
blind asshole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksfjksdklf.htm
blind date
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kfmskfnh.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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