Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hi all, still alive but all of the aches and pains have restricted my
computer usage to several hours a day. Finally able to move
well enough to make a try at seeing doctor tomorrow morning
and go to hospital for tests and x-rays.
I will keep this short but I did want to comment on the loose lions,
tigers, and bears in Ohio. I know that their destruction was
necessary under the conditions but I can't help but feel that I was
lied to in my childhood by shows like Wild Kingdom and Daktari.
They caught all sizes and shapes of animals with dart guns and
they just laid down and went to sleep. Obviously there was no
love for the animals by the owner who decided to seal their fate
before he committed suicide. I mourn the passing of those animals
but not the owner.
Enjoy the chips.. buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick The Gender of Your Baby.com
Guaranteed to give you the baby of the gender of your choice.
http://tinyurl.com/3cghpht
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wright Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a
stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had
failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him
about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you
been?
Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured
himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the
bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged
himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told
that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of
execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to
go up stairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her
husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU
EVER STOP????
Wrandy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
drink beer and not milk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t031.html
bad enough
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t032.html
a temple
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t033.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bus Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow was travelling on a bus when he got a horrible cramp low in his
bowel. Since there was an "Out of Order" sign on the door of the small
restroom at the rear of the bus, he went to the driver and explained
that he was close to having an urgent situation to deal with.
The driver glared at the fellow, and with a growl, told him he'd just
have to go sit down and hold it, that he wasn't stopping and it would
only be a few minutes before they reached the station. After a few
seconds of hesitation, he 'tightened his grip on things' and made his
way carefully back to his seat.
Minutes later, when the bus pulled into the station, the guy elbowed his
way off the bus and made a mad dash to the men's room. He slammed the
door to the bathroom stall and there was an instant loud sound of gas
and pooping.
A man in the next stall sympathized, "My gosh, you really had to go,
didn't you!"
The fellow replied, "Man, you think that's something, just wait until I
get my pants down!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maternity Acupressure Guide: Easier, Shorter And Safer Birth
Best Selling Guide since 2005! Natural and Safe Maternity Acupressure
Method for Pregnancy, Inducing Labor at Home & Getting Effective Relief
from Labor Pains.
http://tinyurl.com/4xsxfv9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Football Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south?
A: Because Minnesota blows and Chicago sucks.
Q: What is the difference between a Bear fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: What do you call a male Viking fan in a room full of beautiful women?
A: Invisible.
Q: What do Viking fans miss most about a great party?
A: The invitation.
Q: What's the difference between Cheerios and the Chicago Bears?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
Q: Why can't a Chicago Bear get into his own driveway?
A: Someone painted an end zone on it.
Q: What do you call a sober Viking fan?
A: A liar.
Q: Why is the bears quarterback unable to answer a telephone?
A: He can't find the receiver.
Q: What's the difference between a dead Packer fan lying in the road and
a Dead Bears fan lying in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the Packer fan.
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Minnesota?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men.
Q: What do you call it when a Viking fan wears green and gold?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why is it a good idea to bring a Bear fan along to a Packer game?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: How many people does it take to change a light bulb at Soldier Field?
A: Three. One to change it and two to talk about how good the old one
was.
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb Bear fan, and a smart Bear fan
are Walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.
Who picks it up?
A: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy,
or A smart Bear fan... And the dumb Bear fan thought It was a gum
wrapper.
Mojo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Overcoming Adhd: A Guide For Parents
Discover how your child can end Adhd Naturally, Safely and Without Adhd
Drugs ... Your child can become happier and successful at school and
life
http://tinyurl.com/42zuras
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a
flounder is flat?"
Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents
about this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes
protrude from its head?"
Again Little Johnny raises his hand.
"We'll give you another chance."
"My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the lobster saw
it, and his eyes popped out in shock."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Focus Pocus - 100 Ways to Help Your Child Pay Attention
One hundred practical techniques from parents and teachers that help
children pay attention and focus - whether or not they have Adhd. Great
for home or classroom.
http://tinyurl.com/3gzeely
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has
told him he only has 24 hous to live.
Given the prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she
agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
"Honey, you know I only have 18 hours to live. Could we please do
it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later as Ralph
gets in to bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he only has 8
hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, " Honey, please...just one
more time before I die?"
She says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time.
After this session the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns
until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses.
"Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...?
At this point his wife sits up and says, "Listen Ralph, I have to
get up in the morning...You don't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide
This unique book doesnt just tell you what to say -- it says it for you!
Fill-in-the-blank templates show parents how to create a storybook with
family photos and history to simplify this tough conversation. With
therapist advice. Professionally endorsed.
http://tinyurl.com/43env39
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Colors of Autumn
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/B/Aut.html
Christian The Lion
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/videos/ChristiantheLion.htm
Your Answer
http://www.poetrybyken.us/ipoems62/YourAnswer.html
Life Is... Continued
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifeis2.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Earn a Free Apple iPad!
Consumer News: Get a Free Apple iPad! Terms Apply
http://tinyurl.com/3mvwtdl
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Soc Sec. Adjustments 2012
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/pressoffice/factsheets/colafacts2012.htm
Container City via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/2brv97r
Halloween Cakes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hcakes.html
Tricks For Treats 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats2.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Want a name brand 3D
Pick out your 3D TV
A new dimension in home entertainment.
Go 3D in your living room.
Make 3D in your living room a reality .
http://tinyurl.com/3h895pk
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Sigs
http://mary.topcities.com/sigs.html
Online File Storage
http://mashable.com/2007/07/28/online-storage/
High Resolution Wallpaper
http://interfacelift.com/wallpaper/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Earn a Free $100 Cheesecake Factory Gift Card.
Free $100 Cheesecake Factory Gift Card! See Details
http://tinyurl.com/3kr35gd
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Life With Dogs - What a Dog Does When It's Cold via Dianne
http://www.lifewithdogs.tv:80/2011/07/what-a-dog-does-when-its-cold/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Earn a Free $1000 Victoria's Secret Gift Card.
Get a Free Victoria's Secret Gift Card! Terms Apply
http://tinyurl.com/3js4dtn
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Never Smash WD-40 can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajhkj.htm
New product Nut
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abhjk.htm
New Shoes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjlkj.htm
New Car Alarm
http://www.buffaloschips.com/avfdf.htm
New Drug
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abhkjk.htm
Bad Weld
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012103.htm
Bambi
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012104.htm
Baxter Black So Lucky To be An American
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012105.htm
Bending Trial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012106.htm
Bobcat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012107.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After watching a rather hot love scene on cable, the husband looked
over at his wife and said, "How come you never make love to me like
that?"
"Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much they pay those
people to do that?"
Whenever I come home from playing golf, my son always asks me
excitedly, "Did you win, Dad?" I have explained to him time and time
again that you're really just playing against yourself.
We were on vacation and I had gone out to play a round. When I
returned, the kids were swimming in the hotel pool, which was full
of kids and surrounded by dozens of parents.
From across the pool, at the top of his lungs, my son yelled, "Hey
Dad! Did you have fun playing with yourself?"
We checked out that night.
A bloke and his wife went to a family planning clinic. "We've been
married for ten years and we've got no kids," said the husband.
'And the next-door neighbors say it's because we're stupid.'
"Nonsense," smiled the doctor. "It's probably to do with your diet.
Or it might be a question of timing. How many times a week do you
do it?"
"Do what?" asked the wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
blind les
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdklgidri.htm
blind my ass
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nnvmmv,b,.htm
blind nurses
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwbbgd.htm
blind painter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl;l;;;ppkmm.htm
blind man 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsfjsdhjbxafkgj.htm
blow job matic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfjjjfn.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Computer Repair Home Study Course
Learn How to Repair Your Computer Today! -Save money on
costly repairs and even start your own business. Join thousands
of others who learned new skills, jump started their careers, made
extra money, and started their biz with the Computer Repair Course!
http://buffaloschips.com/comrepair
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow named Simon,
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl,
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.
There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling
Til a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling
There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said
"That's not a dick it's a wart."
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Linux For The Rest Of Us! - Hi-Def Video Training Series
Learn Linux from one of the most sought after instructors around. If you
don't know Linux by now, you're missing out! Full video training series,
instantly accessible, and in full Hd!
http://buffaloschips.com/linuxfor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The other day I was walking down Main Street when I suddenly
heard car tires screeching behind me. I turned around and saw a
car just as it was running down a woman at a pedestrian
crossing. Not extremely hard, but enough to knock her to the
ground in front of the car.
The driver jumped out of the car in a panic and ran up to the
woman to check if she was ok. She was not bleeding or anything
but seemed a little dizzy. He shook her slightly, but the woman
still seemed to have a hard time focusing. So he asked her:
"Are you all right, are you all right?"
"I don't know," she answered.
"Are you in pain?"
"No, but . . . I can't see."
"This can't be true!, of course you can see!" the man shouted.
"No, I can't see!, I can't see a thing!"
So the man got a little desperate, held up three fingers in
front of her, looked her straight in the eyes and said:
"How many fingers do you see?"
"I can't see any!" she cried "I've gone blind!"
"But you can't be blind." he cried desperately, "Tell me you
aren't blind. You can't turn blind this way."
"I don't know about that, but I still can't see" she replied.
To check out if she was just losing consciousness, or if she
really had gone blind he desperately shook his hand, still three
fingers up, in front of her face and said:
"How many fingers up?"
And she replied:
"Ah shit!, I'm paralyzed as well."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deer Hunting Secrets
Discover the Closely Guarded True Secrets of Master Hunters
http://buffaloschips.com/deersec
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2111
Racing Along
Tami is in 12th place, she got her drink
and is feeling better. The only obstacle
is Monster hill, named for the almost
verticle climb and the dangerous slope
downward.
Rudy: Come on Tami, we are almost at
the summit.
Katie: You can do it old-timer.
Tami: Oldtimer am I? I will show you.
Tami peddles hard and makes it to the top
only to see her front wheel drop into
nothingness...
Tami: Ack!!!
Val: It is just a steep drop Tami, time to
pedal faster.
Tami: It must be a 120 degree drop.
Katie: Nah, that is impossible, I would say
close to 70 degrees...hang on and race you
to the bottom.
Zoom!!!
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment