THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
A man who dares to waste one hour of
time has not discovered the value of life.
Charles Darwin
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It was a cool 55 degrees last night here in
beautiful West Michigan. But inside the house,
it felt like 80. This was kindof puzzling because
we hadn't done any fancy cooking to heat the
place up or anything.And when it gets hot here,
its definitely uncomfortable because with these
old windows there are very few of them that we
can open. We already have taken the window air
conditioners out. Good thing we have the ceiling
fans. Well, we need to heat things up for you
today because its Monday, and you need some good
humor to get thru the day!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________
THE COMICS
medical marijuanna
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t005.html
how did they figure that out?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t004.html
family bonding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t003.html
someone stole our credit card
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t002.html
at the bar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t001.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
pepsi
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1316.html
the symphony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1317.html
one day when I was out fishing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1318.html
jhadist training
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1319.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
humor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd757.html
Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs
slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care
for our newly acquired mustache.
Midlife women no longer have upper arms; we have
wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless
shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.
Midlife has hit when you stand naked in front of
the mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't
bounce back. It's more like splat!
Midlife is when you want to grab every firm young
lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen, honey, even
the Roman Empire fell, and those things will too!"
_______________
The congregation for a Westchester synagogue was
interviewing for a new Rabbi. The best candidate turned
out to be the first Japanese rabbi they ever met, so,
they offered him the position on a one year trial basis.
At the end of the year, the hiring committee met with
Rabbi Naknamura and informed him that they were not going to renew his contract.
The Rabbi was surprised and disappointed by this turn of events.
He asked, "Would you tell me what my deficiencies were
so that I may correct them? Was it my sermons?"
The committee assured him that his sermons moved the
entire congregation to tears or lifted them to the heights
of rapture. His sermons were the best they ever heard.
"Was it that I was not friendly enough, not approachable enough, then?"
No, he was told, no rabbi they had ever had had been so
diligent in seeking out every family of the congregation.
No, he was very approachable and friendly he was told.
"Was my singing at the services not good enough, then?"
He was assured that he had a wonderful voice and they were delighted with it.
"Well," he asked puzzled, "how was I deficient, then?"
The chairman of the committee looks a little uncomfortable as
he said, "It was your manner of conducting a bris (ritual circumcision).
Our congregation just isn't ready for you to shout out 'Bonsai' as you circumcise."
______________
Last year a young man graduated from the University of Arkansas with a
degree in journalism. His very first assignment, for the newspaper who
hired him, was to write a human interest story. He decided to go into
the Ozark Mountains to do his research.
He found an old farmer's house in an isolated section and
introduced himself to the man. He then asked him, "Has
anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"
The old farmer thought for a moment and said, "Yep, one
time a neighbor's sheep got lost. We all formed a posse and
found it. Then we all screwed it and took it back home."
"I can't print that!" the young reporter exclaimed. "Can you
think of anything else that happened that made you happy?"
"Yep, one time a neighbor's daughter got lost. We all formed
a posse & found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home."
"Hell, I can't print that either!" cried the frustrated reporter.
"Has anything ever happened that made you sad?"
The old farmer dropped his head and sit quietly for a few seconds.
Then he timidly replied, "Yep, I got lost once."
_______________
Bob: "My doctor says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week."
Bill: "Why is that?"
Bob: "I've been screwing his wife."
_________________
BUFFALO BILL
Lucha
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshkksj.htm
Luckiest Man On The Planet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshshjs.htm
Lucky 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshsjs.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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