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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FREE GILLETTE FUSION RAZOR
http://www.tinyurl.
FREE DUNKIN DONUTS!
http://www.tinyurl.
VIRUS WARNING:
I normally do not pass on virus warnings.
Most of them are a waste.
They usually contain inaccurate, unreliable information.
And besides,if you have a decent virus scanner,
there really is no need for em.
However, this one is so destructive, it deserves some
examination. According to experts, this latest
virus will rewrite the boot sector
on your hard drive, causing massive memory
damage to your ram. It will
write protect your cd rom and dvd driver, making reformatting
impossible. It will clean out your refrigerator and destroy the
furnace in your home. It will make your dog run
away and it will take your first born child.
The virus is caused and transmitted by "lack of a smile" email.
Do not open this email if you receive it.
The only known cure for
"lack of a smile" is to subscribe to THE POSTMAN'S CORNER.
It will provide instant protection from the
deadly destruction that can be caused
by this latest internet attack. Be sure sure
to forward this message on to all your friends
and relatives and let them know how to subscribe
themselves so they will be protected as well!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
FREE
Take a step in the right direction by getting a
free pair of flip flops
Trust us, you won’t find a more
comfortable pair of shoes.
http://www.tinyurl.
THE COMICS
disappointed?
http://www.thepostm
prescriptions
http://www.thepostm
nuts
http://www.thepostm
aircraft mechanic
http://www.thepostm
playing games
http://www.thepostm
the polish wishing well
http://www.thepostm
relax!!!
http://www.thepostm
a prude
http://www.thepostm
big ones!
http://www.thepostm
do me a favor
http://www.thepostm
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Jeff Dunham
http://www.thepostm
the ebay song
http://www.thepostm
FANTASY FOOTBALL
http://www.thepostm
Stout with love
http://www.thepostm
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family
is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7 Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is
now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
9. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
____________
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole
staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.
Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.
"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss.
"Haven't you got a sense of humor?"
"I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm quitting Friday."
____________
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I
hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and
asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her
skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister.
You see, I don't want to go to Iraq."
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude,
but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little
higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....
I don't want to go to Iraq either."
____________
The teacher once asked the class to make a sentence with the phrase
pistol too. Little Jimmy raised his hand,
and after being recognized, said
"The lone Ranger tamed the wild west with
his faithful indian companion
and his pistol too".Very good says the teacher.
Little Johnnie raised his hand, and after being called on said
"Down at our house we make homebrew, drink
till twelve and piss till two".
____________
Sonny is getting along in years and finds
that he is unable to perform
in bed. He finally goes to his doctor,
who tries a few things but
nothing seems to work. So the doctor
refers him to an American Indian
medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this."
That said, he throws a white powder in a flame,
and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful medicine.
You can only use it once a
year. All you have to do is say '123'
and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
Sonny then asks, what happens when it's over,
and I don't want to continue?"
The medicine man replies: "All you or your
Wife has to say is 1234, and
it will go down. But, be warned...
it will not work again for another year!"
Sonny rushes home, eager to tryout his new powers and prowess.
That night he is ready to surprise Merle.
He showers, shaves, and
puts on his most exotic shaving lotion.
He gets into bed, and lying
next to her says, "123."
He suddenly becomes more aroused than
anytime in his life, just as the medicine man had promised.
Merle, who had been facing away, turns over and asks,
"What did you say 123 for?"
And that, my friends, is why you should
NEVER end a sentence with a preposition!
___________
A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with
an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
However, the patrolman kept feeling something
pulling at the hairs in his crotch.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the
doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough
energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could
look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide
strips of adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything
with it when you pull it off. Written in large black
letters across the tape was the sentence:
"Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to
last week."
____________
BUFFALOS
Movies
Car Commercial
http://www.buffalos
Car Gymnastics
http://www.buffalos
Car Loses control
http://www.buffalos
LAB LAUGHS
Working For The Government
http://www.lablaugh
You Left Something
http://www.lablaugh
Problem With Inflatable Raft
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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