OOPS Here is yesterday's adult jokes
Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I got up this morning and started working on the email
and after a few minutes I noticed my emails wouldn't
delete. I rebooted and went along for awhile and then
the same problem again. All of my folders appear to be
within the limits of size and numbers that Outlook Express
likes to operate with and it is not acting like previous
times when I have been bothered by corrupted files. I have
transferred those folders necessary to do the mailings
with over to Outlook and I will use that until I can
figure out where the problem is.
One of the reasons I am mentioning this is I downloaded
Spiralfrog last night which is a new free music service.
For a small download it seemed to spend a real long time
downloading itself and when it installed it altered some
files that I didn't think it had any business touching.
It then stuck and went nuts at the end of the first
download and I was forced to close the program to stop it.
I am not saying that it is a problem but I have since
removed it and restored to Monday with no positive results,
OE still malfunctioned after about 15 minutes of use and
anti-virus and spyware checks are all normal.
I guess I wouldn't recommend Spiralfrog at this time and
I hope everything is back to normal soon.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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School Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than School
1. Everybody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for virgins
and only because they haven't had sex yet.
2. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc..., school just sucks.
3. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school you feel
like smoking something a whole lot stronger.
4. You get disciplined during sex only if you want to.
5. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school drives people to drink.
6. Sex relieves stress, school is the cause of stress.
7. Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with sex.
8. After sex you feel like you have accomplished something.
9. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a
hooker, it is still cheaper than paying thousands of dollars in tuition.
10. At least you have a choice whether or not you want to have sex.
At school your teachers screw you regardless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys in a bar are talking about their wives. "My wife is mad at
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"Why?"
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"What'd you do?"
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A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and
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get."
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Trial Chips
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Irish Chips
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A fellow was talking to his Irish buddy and said, "I gotta stop drinking
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"I know," said his friend, "but I'm Jewish!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Jill Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barbie and Lee had been married for many years and decided to take a
cruise for their anniversary. While on the cruise they met many other
couples and would usually end up sitting together during meals and
tours. One evening towards the end of the cruise the discussion turned
towards politics. Noticing that his wife was quiet, Lee turned to Barbie
and asked what she thought about the Middle East Position. To which
Barbie replied, "Oh, I don't know, dear, you know I'm not into any of
that kinky stuff."
One evening, a young man was surprised to find that his bar pickup line
had worked and that he was headed to his new companion's apartment.
During the drive she explained to him that she was going to show him all
about New Jersey using her body. Interesting, he thought. First, she
took his hand and placed it on her backside, she explained to him that
this was "Freehold." Next, she took his other hand and placed it in her
breast, she told him that this was "Point Pleasant." Again she took his
hand, this time she placed it between her legs. Believing that he was
getting the gist of the game he asked "So, is this Cherry Hill?" She
smiled at him and said "No, this is Eatontown."
Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on,
indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One
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on the f*ckin' lights?" "Oh, no, sir," the nearest flight attendant
replied. "Those are the breakfast lights. You must have slept through
the f*ckin' lights."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Go back to sleep
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sailor, Ashore In Peru
Said ''Senora, Quanto Por La Screw?''
''For Only One Peso
I Will, If You Say So,
Be Buggered And Nibble It Too.''
There once was a girl they called Trish
Who was quite a delectable dish
Men savored her lips
Then brought bags of chips
For her pussy smelt strongly of fish
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, this bloke with no arms walks into a pub.
Asking the barman where the gents are, he's pointed towards a door at
the
back of the pub.
After the bloke hasn't reappeared 15 mins later, the barman, being a
thoughtful chap, asks one of the regulars to go and see if the armless
chappie is ok.
Regular goes into the gents and sees armless chappie just standing in
front
of the urinals, looking a tad uncomfortable. 'You alright mate?' he
asks.
'Oh shit, I really didn't want to ask' said armless bloke, 'but I lost
my
arms today, and I'm just gonna piss meself if i can't get me old chap
out
and take a leak. Is there any chance....'.
Oh jeez, thinks regular bloke, poor bastard, but he's not happy at the
thought of handling the armless blokes tackle. 'Please, I'd do the same
for
you', pleads armless bloke. So regular guy takes a deep breath, thinks
of
the good karma this is bound to net him, and undoes the armless blokes
flies
to reveal this grotesque, warty, pus covered, sore infested cock. 'Gah!'
he
gags, but he hides his disgust. Just. And aims the fella into the
urinals.
After helping him take a leak and zipping him back up, the regular bloke
can't contain his curiousity any more, and says to the armless bloke,
'sorry
mate, but I've got to ask, what the *fuck* is wrong with your old chap,
its
fucking disgusting?!
the
armless bloke, 'but', popping his arms back out from under his jumper,
says
'I ain't touching the fucking thing!'
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little Pakistani wanders up to him and says 'Good Morning please, be
wanting to come into heaven thankyou'
'Look mate', says St. Peter 'It doesn't work that way, you're a muslim,
aren't you'
'Yes, being a good muslim thankyou'
'No mate, look I'm sorry. You just can't come in, you're off down there'
'am GOOD muslim. Wanting to be coming in please' 'You can't be a good
muslim, how?' 'But AM GOOD muslim. I am even giving things to charity
all the time' St. Peter sighs. 'Like what?' The Pakistani stands up
proudly. 'Only last week, am giving twenty pounds to
the children in need'
St. Peter considers him for a second, and finally resigns himself to the
fact that this chap deserves a bit of his time. 'Right, fine, okay" he
sighs, "You win. I'll go and have a word with God, wait here'
So off he trots wearily through the Pearly Gates, and returns a couple
of
hours later. He walks back up to the Pakistani, and says 'Right, I've
had a
chat with God about you, and it's all sorted.'
'Here's your twenty quid back, now Fuck Off'.
************
************
What have a pussy and a grape both got in common?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
************
************
A guy gets a job at a remote mining camp. After a couple of days work,
he
goes into the local, has a few beers, and asks the bartender about the
lack
of women in the camp.
"No birds for 200 miles", replies the barman.
"What does a man do for sex?". The bartender points to a large barrel in
the
corner. "Put ya old fella in the hole. Any day except Thursday". The guy
wanders over & does as he's told.
Within two minutes, he's got his end away. "Christ, that's not bad!", he
thinks.
He returns the next two nights, and gets the same result. The third
night,
he asks the barman if the barrel is free. "Like I said, any day except
Thursdays".
"Why Thursdays?", the guy asks.
"Thursday's your day in the barrel".
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1090
Katie Falls in Mush
Diana: Everyone in the van.
Rudy: Where are we going?
BJ: There is a special happening at grammar's nursing home. The mayor
of Edmond will be there to celebrate the home's 50th anniversary, plus
we can hear the great music of Edgar Cruz.
Sandi: Oh he plays the wonderful guitar that we listen to on CD and MP3
all the time right?
Diana: Yes, he is known world-wide and has about 12 CDs out plus a
couple of DVDs.
Katie: Frumpt! I would rather stay home.
Ginger: Come Auntie, we should go and see grammar.
Katie: Right, to see grammar I will go.
later....
Katie: Oh what wonderful music he plays. I love the flamingo guitar.
Sigh, I think I will visit with him.
BJ: You really shouldn't, he is performing.
Katie goes up and whispers in Edgar Cruz's ear..he grins, Katie grins
and returns.
BJ: What happened?
Katie: Well, I asked him if we could interview him at his home and
bring our camcorder. He said yes, but I would have to come along....oh
be still my beating heart. He is going to play "Unchained Melody" and
it is for me! Oh yes mother he heard you can sing and would like for
you to sing "Ave Maria" after "Unchained Melody".
Edgar Cruz plays unchained melody and after playing it tosses a kiss
towards Katie who passes out..... THUD!!
Diana joins Edgar Cruz and sings "Ave Maria"...a stunning performance
that leaves the crowd first breathless then a standing ovation.
Edgar Cruz takes a break and comes over: Your wife has an amazing voice
and your dog is a little nuts but she is nice. I do hope your family
comes over to my house and we can visit, play a few songs and have that
interview. Here is my card with my private phone number.
BJ: Thanks Edgar we will do that and soon.
The herd in Guthrie
(So we will have about a 3-5 parter fairly soon with the interview with
Edgar Cruz and shamelessly I will put his website with info for his
products. A nice humble Christian man who doesn't play in bands due to
the influence of drugs, groupies, etc., A man who plays at nursing
homes, at churches, and various benefits for nothing a rare person of
talent who believes in giving back.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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