welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going
but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
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************
When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit
Of talent left, and could say, "I used everything
You gave me." -- Erma Louise Bombeck
************
Well, I impressed my self. I learned a new word today.
It's "hypermiler" Sounds almost kinda like science fiction like sorta, don't it?
But nope. its a product of this new environment we live in, fueled by a new
kind of economy. With soaring gas prices, (here in West Michigan it hovers
around 3 bux a gallon) a large segment of the population is beginning to
squeeze every mile they can get from a gallon of gas. (That's me, I am a hyper
myler!!) These folks have begun seeking alternate transport such as small motor
bikes and scooters at 100 miles per gallon plus. Still other "hypermilers"
have parked their SUV in favor of the more economical but less comfortable
"hybrid" car. While not as rewarding as 100 miles per gallon with a scooter,
hybrids do have their advantages.
Perhaps if you are not so inclined to take these more drastic
measures you might remember some simpler "hypermiler" ideas, like
1. slowing down.
2. coasting up to stop signs
3. staying off interstates
4. taking your time going somewhere.
And you know what? you could just possibly achieve"hypermiler" status
like me... (hypermiler, I kinda like that lol)
but who knows, maybe by doing these things you might gain something
more important, you might live longer!
Drive safely out there!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES
a night at the drive in
http://www.thepostm
because of you
http://www.thepostm
a glass and a half
http://www.thepostm
all kinds of links
http://www.thepostm
lets get cooking
http://www.thepostm
the penguin show
http://www.thepostm
____________
THE COMICS
batteries
http://www.thepostm
first base
http://www.thepostm
confessions
http://www.thepostm
divorce
http://www.thepostm
the mob
http://www.thepostm
natural environment
http://www.thepostm
prolong her suffering
http://www.thepostm
an enterprising kid
http://www.thepostm
the balloon ride
http://www.thepostm
truth in advertising
http://www.thepostm
____________
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COOL STUFF
remember me
http://www.thepostm
to fish or not to fish
http://www.thepostm
windows prank
http://www.thepostm
rally cars
http://www.thepostm
celebrity sex
http://www.thepostm
the fat man
http://www.thepostm
An elderly man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up
with a pad and pencil in his hand.
"What are you selling young man?" he asked.
"I'm not selling anything," the young man said. I'm a census taker."
"A what?" the older man asked.
"A census taker... We are trying to find out how many people are in this country."
"Well," the man answered. "You're wasting your time with me, I have no idea."
____________
Two blind pilots were both wearing dark glasses.
One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his
way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter
spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit,
the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers
begin glancing nervously around, searching
for some sign that this is just a little practical joke.
None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and
the people sitting in the window seats realize they're
headed straight for the water at the edge of
the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane
will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
The passengers realax and laugh a little sheepishly and
soon all retreat into their magazines, secure
in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other
and says, "Ya know, Bob, one of these days they're gonna
scream too late and we're all gonna die."
____________
I bet it was really tough being an Apostle of Jesus.
What if you wanted a day off?
You ring up Jesus and say, "Jesus, I'm sick today, running
a little fever and feeling congested so I won't be able
to make it to today's sermon.
What...? Say that again?... I'm cured?"
____________
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the
night together in a hotel room
and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy
The first thing Daisy asked was,
"Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said, "No."
Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom,
they could not have sex.
"Maybe they sell the m at the front desk,"
she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby
and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.
"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled one out from under
the counter and gave it to Donald .
The clerk asked,
"Would you like me to put that on your bill?
"No!" Donald quacked,
"What kind of a pervert do you think I am?"
____________
Dave had a week off and decided to play golf every day.
Monday morning, he found himself paired with an attractive
woman, Pat, who turned out to be a very good golfer.
They started with a few casual bets, but by the back nine
it was a full-blown competition. On the 18th green, Pat
sank her long birdie putt for the win.
Dave congratulated her and paid off his losses. Pat asked
for a ride home and,on the way, told him, "You know, Dave,
I haven't enjoyed myself so much on the golf course in a
long time. In fact, pull over so I can express my appreciation.
He did, they kissed, and one thing led to another and soon
she gave him the best oral sex he'd ever had.
The next morning, they met again on the first tee
and played together again. They had another magnificent day,
enjoying each other's company and playing tight, competitive golf.
Again Pat beat him, but she also showed her
appreciation on the drive home. This went on all week,
with Dave narrowly losing every day, his male ego bruised,
but not unhappy. On Friday's drive home, Dave said,
"Pat, you've been great to be with all this week and
tonight I'd like to return the favor. I made reservations
at the best restaurant in town for us and reserved the
penthouse suite at the best hotel.
What do you say?"
Pat burst into tears. "I can't!"
"What? Why not?" asked Dave.
"Because," she sobbed, "I'm in the middle of a sex change
and the doctor hasn't completed that part of me yet!"
"What?!" Aghast, Dave swerved off the road, screeched to a
stop and cursed madly, overcome with emotion.
"I'm so sorry," says Pat. "You have a right to be angry with me."
"You bastard!" Dave screamed, his face bright red.
"You cheating bastard! All week long you've been playing of f the women's tees!!"
____________
BUFFALOS
Movies
snow
http://www.buffalos
sprint theft
http://www.buffalos
STRESS
http://www.buffalos
LAB LAUGHS
QUOTES
http://www.lablaugh
Married Life Communication
http://www.lablaugh
We Can Help
http://www.lablaugh
Why Suicide
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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