welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Browne
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Hey postman:
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The Postman says:
Ok Dave, I will.
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The philosophy of charles schultz
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no
second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause
dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates
are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Easier?
The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones
with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the
ones that care .
Charles Schultz was a wise man.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
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COMICS
redefining bipartisanship
http://www.thepostm
sexually harassing
http://www.thepostm
hello..hello?
http://www.thepostm
beat it
http://www.thepostm
giving you a choice
http://www.thepostm
pro or con
http://www.thepostm
don't worry
http://www.thepostm
a deer is caught
http://www.thepostm
got milk?
http://www.thepostm
at the healing tent
http://www.thepostm
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES
a good reason not to drink
http://www.thepostm
the date that didn't go so well
http://www.thepostm
why fishing is dangerous
http://www.thepostm
crowded
http://www.thepostm
the road bandits
http://www.thepostm
get ready to do a lot of talking
http://www.thepostm
bottoms up
http://www.thepostm
get out more
http://www.thepostm
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COOL STUFF
the cars we drove
http://www.thepostm
man in the dark
http://www.thepostm
the block game
http://www.thepostm
kitchen
http://www.thepostm
poverty
http://www.thepostm
what he said
http://www.thepostm
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to
fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes
he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to
call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference
room table, the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied,
"A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And, now you sir?",
he asked the second man. "Hmmm...let me see. "A blink!
It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever
happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a
very popular clich for speed." He then turned
to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house
and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch,
way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in
less than an instant.
"Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of"
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer
and thought he had found his man.
"It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.
Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer
posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, "After
hearing the previous three Answers, it's obvious to me
that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh sure", said Old Bubba. "You see, the other day I wasn't
feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before
I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants."
Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on!....
____________
This couple walks into a bar: The man goes of to the bog
and leaves the women standing at the bar. A bloke goes
up to the women and says, "I really really want to
squeeze your tits. Will you let me?"
The lady turns around and says,
"How dare you, get away from me, you sicko!"
The bloke then says, "Oh you have a lovely arse can I rub it, please let me?"
The lady turns around and says, "Look you
pervert get away from me! I'll get my boyfriend to beat you up if you don't piss off!"
The bloke takes no notice and continues to the woman,
"I want to tip you upside down and fill you up with beer and down it in one big gulp."
"RIGHT... THAT IS IT" shouts the woman.
Just then her boyfriend comes out from the
bog and says, "Whaz goin' on here?!?"
The woman says all hysterically,
"That bloke over there said he wants to squeeze my tits!"
Her boyfriend rolled up one of his sleeves and was just
about to smack him when the lady shouts
"That's not all, he wants to rub my arse!"
So her boyfriend rolled up the other sleeve!
"And do you know what else he said? He wants to
tip me upside down and fill me up with beer and
down it in one big gulp! So are you going to beat him up then?"
Her boyfriend rolls down his sleeves and says
"Of course not darling, I ain't messing with a bloke that can drink that much beer!!!"
____________
The dull and desperate looking woman sat disconsolately in her
attorney's office. "On what grounds do you want a divorce?" asked the lawyer.
On the grounds of extreme cruelty," she replied. "He want sex
every night, front and back, and he has a dick like a donkey's! - It hurts like buggery!"
The lawyer raised an eyebrow and said, "If that is the case, I will file your petition," .
"File my petition? Pig's bloody arse you will!!! Let that bastard sandpaper his!"
____________
Q. Why do blonde nurses carry a red Magic Marker?
A. In case they have to draw blood.
Q. Why do blondes get confused in the bathroom?
A. They have to pull their own pants down.
Q. What is the definition of Blood, Sweat and Tears?
A. A blonde standing in front of a tampon machine with a bent quarter
____________
This guy Chris gets a call from his buddy John one day, and John is on the phone crying.
Chris asks, "John, what's wrong? You sound really upset."
"Well," replies John, "my wife's been cheatin' on me."
"With who?" asks Chris.
"The neighbour," replies John.
"That damn dirty slut!" says Chris.
"Yeah," replies John, "you think I'm upset,
you should've heard how upset the neighbour's husband was."
BUFFALO'S
movies
Pine
http://www.buffalos
plane crash
http://www.buffalos
Redneck Women
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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