Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I got up this morning and started working on the email
and after a few minutes I noticed my emails wouldn't
delete. I rebooted and went along for awhile and then
the same problem again. All of my folders appear to be
within the limits of size and numbers that Outlook Express
likes to operate with and it is not acting like previous
times when I have been bothered by corrupted files. I have
transferred those folders necessary to do the mailings
with over to Outlook and I will use that until I can
figure out where the problem is.
One of the reasons I am mentioning this is I downloaded
Spiralfrog last night which is a new free music service.
For a small download it seemed to spend a real long time
downloading itself and when it installed it altered some
files that I didn't think it had any business touching.
It then stuck and went nuts at the end of the first
download and I was forced to close the program to stop it.
I am not saying that it is a problem but I have since
removed it and restored to Monday with no positive results,
OE still malfunctioned after about 15 minutes of use and
anti-virus and spyware checks are all normal.
I guess I wouldn't recommend Spiralfrog at this time and
I hope everything is back to normal soon.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Drinking Chips
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A man walks in the front door of a bar. He is mildly impaired; he
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house, and have one for yourself."
The bartender obliges, serves the house, has a drink, too with his
customer, then suggests he might want to square up the tab; closing
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The man, feels in his pockets, and says "Whoops, I don't have any
money."
The bartender picks him up by his collar and pants and heaves him out
the door onto the street.
In two minutes the man is back at the bar and he says "Barkeep, I'll
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you: you get mean when you drink."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bathroom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the
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Ego Chips
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he
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Mad Martin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time, this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and
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means California and you have to brave hottubs, mellowspeak, fires and
earthquakes. That is, it was a simpler time.)
So, Fred found his way to a frontier town and became the bartender at
the wildest saloon in the territory. He soon proved how rough and
tough
he was, and the owner of the bar was pleased with how he broke up
fights
and didn't skim too much off the receipts. He told Fred that he (Fred)
was doing a fine job, but he should remember one thing: "If you ever
hear even a rumor that Mad Martin is coming to town, just save what
you
can, put a bottle of Red Eye on the counter, and head out of town as
fast as you can."
Fred was pretty perplexed at this, and sought explanation.
He was told
that Mad Martin was an old mountain man who lived up in the hills and
only came to town once or twice a year. However, Martin was the most
dangerous guy they'd ever heard of and few had ever encountered him
and
lived to tell the tale. Fred listened carefully and then promptly
forgot
all about it.
Until, one day a few months later, a cowboy came riding through town
at
full speed, yelling, "Martin's coming! Head for the hills!" The result
was incredible. Everybody in town immediately jumped on their horses
and
took off for the hills. Except Fred. He wanted to see this guy because
he didn't believe he could be all that tough. So, Fred just put the
bottle of Red Eye on the bar, hid behind the counter, and waited.
He didn't wait long. Soon there was a noise in the street. As Fred
looked out a hole in the wall, he saw this huge, mean-looking guy ride
down the center of the street on the biggest bull buffalo that Fred
had
ever seen. The guy stopped the buffalo in front of the bar, jumped off
the beast, punched it in the head (dropping the critter to its knees)
and bellowed, "Wait here til I get back!" The fellow turned and walked
up the steps. Fred saw that the guy had a pair of huge mountain lions
on
leashes. He tied them both to a post and kicked them soundly,
hollering,
"You pussycats stay here til I'm done!" The cats fearfully sat down.
Into the bar stormed the fellow, ripping the doors off the wall as he
passed. With two strides he approached the bar, picked up the bottle
of
Red Eye, bit off the neck, and downed it all in one gulp. Poor Fred,
thoroughly frightened by now, let out a little whimper. The guy looked
down over the bar and roared, "What the heck do you think you're
looking
at!?"
Fred managed to say, "N..n..n..nothing, mister. Do you want another
bottle of Red Eye?"
To which the fellow replied, "Heck no! I don't have time! I gotta get
out of here--Mad Martin's coming!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Farwood Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farwood
"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes
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"Yeah!"
"Did they split yer farwood?"
"Yep!"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
(Who! says rednecks aren't real bright?!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Job Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Resume.....
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned
couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack
it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for
it ... mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice too
my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't
cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any
patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't
live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit
for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as
a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it
was always the same old grind.
So I retired and I found I am perfect for the job!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Date Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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"He said 'will you marry me'?" Marcy asked.
Heather replied, "No, he said 'put your money away'."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them
and
demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and
begin
taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands
him a
bill. "Here's that $20 I owe you," he says.
Randy
A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and
went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked
in the mail box again. She did this several times and her neighbor
who was watching her said, "You must be expecting a very important
letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box." The blonde
answered, "No, I'm working on my computer and it keeps telling me
that I have mail."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happened to the guy who fell into a glass grinding machine?
He made a spectacle of himself.
Why did the train robber carry a bottle of glue?
So he could stick up the passengers
Why don't baseball players join unions?
Because they don't like to be called out on strikes.
How can you prove that a horse has six legs?
A horse has forelegs in front and two behind.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to smoke!
Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all its uncles were ants.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1090
Katie Falls in Mush
Diana: Everyone in the van.
Rudy: Where are we going?
BJ: There is a special happening at grammar's nursing home.
The mayor of Edmond will be there to celebrate the home's
50th anniversary, plus we can hear the great music of Edgar
Cruz.
Sandi: Oh he plays the wonderful guitar that we listen to on
CD and MP3 all the time right?
Diana: Yes, he is known world-wide and has about 12 CDs out plus
a couple of DVDs.
Katie: Frumpt! I would rather stay home.
Ginger: Come Auntie, we should go and see grammar.
Katie: Right, to see grammar I will go.
later....
Katie: Oh what wonderful music he plays. I love the flamingo guitar.
Sigh, I think I will visit with him.
BJ: You really shouldn't, he is performing.
Katie goes up and whispers in Edgar Cruz's ear..he grins, Katie grins
and returns.
BJ: What happened?
Katie: Well, I asked him if we could interview him at his home and
bring
our camcorder. He said yes, but I would have to come along....oh be
still my beating heart. He is going to play "Unchained Melody" and
it is
for me! Oh yes mother he heard you can sing and would like for you
to sing "Ave Maria" after "Unchained Melody".
Edgar Cruz plays unchained melody and after playing it tosses a kiss
towards Katie who passes out..... THUD!!
Diana joins Edgar Cruz and sings "Ave Maria"...a stunning performance
that leaves the crowd first breathless then a standing ovation.
Edgar Cruz takes a break and comes over: Your wife has an amazing
voice and your dog is a little nuts but she is nice. I do hope your
family
comes over to my house and we can visit, play a few songs and have
that interview. Here is my card with my private phone number.
BJ: Thanks Edgar we will do that and soon.
The herd in Guthrie
(So we will have about a 3-5 parter fairly soon with the interview
with Edgar Cruz and shamelessly I will put his website with info for
his products. A nice humble Christian man who doesn't play in bands
due to the influence of drugs, groupies, etc., A man who plays at
nursing homes, at churches, and various benefits for nothing a rare
person of talent who believes in giving back.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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