Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We have only four days to go before the 6th remembrance of
the terrorist attacks of 9-11-01. As always I will be opening
the scuttlebutt and links to share your thoughts, stories, and
pages related to where we are and where we have been since
that day. In the past six years we have spent enormous amounts
of time discussing what we did wrong before and during the attacks
and toyed with conspiracies involving the Illuminati, New World
Order,Israelis, and even our own leaders. We have also allowed
ourselves to get sidetracked on the number one issue, the capture
of Osama and his death.
It is important that we as a country show a united front against the
forces of evil against us be it Osama or the devil himself and there
is
no better way to do that than by flying your American Flag on Sept.
11th. The streets of this country should be ablaze with red, white and
blue from coast to coast and if anyone is ashamed by this show of
patriotism, there are one-way flights leaving this country hundreds of
times a day, be on one. If your flag is torn or weathered spend a few
bucks and get a new one, just try to avoid the ones from China as they
may contain lead.
Enjoy the chips and the weekend.....
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"According to the 'Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology,' researchers
found that birth control pills give women's voices a more pleasant
sound. Of course it does, men always think it's more pleasant to
hear 'yes,' than 'no.' - Jay Leno
Sex makes you alert and ready to face the world ... it's an ideal
substitute for a hot breakfast.
The visiting American was quite upset by his sudden drop in
popularity. During his first two weeks in England, he had been
invited everywhere, feted and entertained. Now, quite suddenly, his
phone no longer jingled and no invitations crowded his mailbox.
Perplexed, he called his friend, Reginald. "Reggie, you can speak
frankly ith me, what's happened? I'm being virtually ostracized."
"Well, old boy," Reggie replied, "you'll remember that fox hunt you
went on last weekend? Here in England it's customary to cry
'Tally-ho!' when you sight the fox--not, I'm afraid, "There goes the
little son of a bitch!"
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a
fortuneteller'
inside and sat down.
"Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball.
"I see you are the father of two children."
"Hah, you fortune tellers are a sham," said the man scornfully. "I'm
the father of *three* children."
The woman grinned and said, "That's what *you* think..."
AL: "So, when are you going to shave your pubic hair into a heart
shape for me?"
LADY: "As soon as you twist your dick into animal shapes for me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Smoking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Signs You Smoke Too Much
10. In the middle of smoking a cigarette, you pause for
a "cigarette break".
9. Your birthday is a state holiday in North Carolina.
8. Your title for the Surgeon General: "Captain
Bringdown".
7. Cracking your knuckles leaves you winded.
6. Morning schedule: Wake up, cough for three hours,
take nap.
5. In your neighborhood, they give directions by saying.
"Go down to the big pile of cigarette butts...".
4. You get mattress fires more often than haircuts.
3. You smoke during sex.
2. You refer to nonsmokers as "pink-lunged sissy boys".
1. You explain to the nurse that you didn't realize you
were in a "nonsmoking" iron lung.
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Revenge Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a
beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"ONE PENNY!" exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, "Yes."
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice
juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real
money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy.
"4 cents," he replies.
"FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
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Pun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people. Why a
man would want two wives is a bigamystery.
There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those that want to get
ahead, and those that just want to get head.
We've heard about a girl who wanted a divorce because her husband was
getting indifferent.
Overheard at our local nightclub: "She's the kind of girl you could
fall madly in bed with."
Then there was Christian-college girl who was expelled from school
for having a record player in her room, the local disc jockey.
We were not particularly surprised to learn recently that Democrats
generally have more children than Republicans. After all, who ever
heard of anyone enjoying a good piece of elephant?
A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it does an
equally good job of stopping circulation.
The prof was telling his early morning class, "I've found that the
best way to start the day is to exercise for five minutes, take a
deep breath of air, and then finish with a cold shower. Then I feel
rosy all over." A sleepy voice from the back of the room said, "Tell
us more about Rosy."
A young man walked into a drugstore that was being tended by the
owner's shrewish wife. "May I have six condoms, miss?" he asked.
"Don't you 'Miss' me," the elderly woman snippily replied. "OK," the
man said, "better make it seven."
Stan Kegel
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Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.
I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman
behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered, "No."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her
thumb,
She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently
still looked confused.
So she looked all around the store. It was empty.
"Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse
removed it.
She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.
She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it
on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a
desk.
"Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could
no
longer hold back and POW, I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"
I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.
Randy
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Convicted of murder and sentenced to death, the shapely young woman
asked, as a last request, that she be hanged in the nude. Although
the warden thought this unusual, he felt a last request was not
something to be denied. When the condemned prisoner arrived at the
gallows, the hangman gasped, "My God, you have the most beautiful
body I've ever seen." Came the whispered reply, "It's all yours if
you keep your trap shut."
A handsome advertising executive attended a party given by a female
colleague and left with an extremely attractive guest. In the office
the next morning, he thanked the hostess and explained that he really
liked her friend. "Oh, she's not really a friend of mine," the girl
responded. "Just an acquaintance.
chuckled, "I'm happy to have made your acquaintance.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Maid Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy calls home from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid,"answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house,
"Well. this is her husband. Is she still there?"
Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone whom I just figured
was
her husband."
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make
$50,000?"
"What will I have to do?"
"I want to get my gun from the desk in the den and shoot that witch
and the
jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a
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The maid comes back to the phone. "What shall I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool"
"What pool?"
"Uh...is this 832-4821
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young woman named Jeannie
Who sobbed to her date, "You're a meanie".
You claim you're a stud
But, oh, what a dud!
Your prick is a real teeny-weeny.
____________
So well stacked was the new coed named brenda
All the studs wanted to part her pudenda
But, to their dismay
they discover her first lay
Was not tom, dick ,or harry, but, glenda
____________
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How do you change a Fox into an Elephant?
A: You marry her.
Q: How do you turn a Stallion into a pig?
A: You marry him.
A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular
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to his first year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor
decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know
what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "Golfing with his buddies ."
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The playboy encountered a lovely young thing on one of his trips
abroad and decided to marry her. Blessing the fact that she was not
only a virgin but totally naive, he seized on the wedding night as a
chance to break her in right, and had her suck him off a number of
times. The next day the bride went to see her mother, and burst into
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1080
BJ's Comupance
The next morning after the "bowling' incident..
Sandi: Daddy do you see my cellphone?
BJ: Yes.
Sandi: Notice there were no phone calls on it.
Do you notice my PDA?
BJ: Yes.
Sandi: Notice there are not any emails on it from you.
BJ: Gulp!
Sandi: Notice my laptop?
BJ: Err--yes.
Sandi: No, emails on it either. There are not
any post-it notes on the bulletin board either.
I ask what would you do if you came home and I
was not here?
BJ: I would be quite disturbed of course.
Sandi: Well?
BJ: What can I say? I did notify Diana, my wife...
You could have checked with her.
Sandi: Let's not try and change the subject. You have
a responsibity here. I try to raise you as best as I can.
Over in the corner Rudy and Katie are trying their best to
keep from laughing along with Diana...
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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