welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!!!!!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FREE STOUFFERS MAC AND CHEESE!
So, you want Stouffers macaroni and Cheese?
GET 3 FREE BOXES!
1. Register
2. complete survey
3. confirm your information
http://www.tinyurl.com/2wpqt4
FREE OREO CAKESTERS!!
Get your FREE* Sample of Oreo Cakesters (Soft Snack Cakes)
Get your hands on 3 boxes of soft, moist, fresh chocolate snack cakes, filled with a
thick layer of smooth, one-of-a-kind Oreo Creme. Comes in two varieties:
Original and Chocolate Creme.
http://www.tinyurl.com/32nxce
You know what?
I have been considering the differences lately between
"old" and "young"
When you are young a good all nighter is carousing
with your buddies. . When you are old, a good all
nighter is not having to get up and pee.
When you are old, you are told to slow down
by the doctor, not the police.
When you are young, you get a little action
because whoopie is on your mind, and when you
are old , getting a little action means taking
you don't have to take any metamusell today.
But the biggest difference I have noticed between
young and old, when I was young, Mr Happy used
to stand and watch me shave. Now that I am old,
he just looks down at the floor.:(
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE COMICS
desperation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z021.html
sex change clinic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z023.html
amusements
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z022.html
naughty little man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z024.html
Miss Duddly you lied
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z025.html
complaints department
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z026.html
grandpa didn't make it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z027.html
begging the general's pardon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z028.html
missing persons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z029.html
what the hell...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z030.html
George W. Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says: "As I'm
the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred
to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom"
The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have
to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."
George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?"
To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to
be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr Bush".
Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?"
The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies "Sorry again, Mr
Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and
you are not an Emperor."
Before George Bush could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think
you're doing quite nicely as a Country."
___________________
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated
Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is
mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the
garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take
out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the
house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide
I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye. They need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with
water, and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I
decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels, and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day, the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my email.
_________________
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear
that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!" "Oh, no! I've just
been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I
also heard that you've been calling me fat!" "Oh, no! I just said
that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you
really are." "I also heard that you're saying that my husband has a
wart on his dick!" "Oh, no! I only said that it feels like he has a
wart on his dick!"
________________
THE PARACHUTE PARADIGM
You are one of *two* people on a malfunctioning airplane with only
one parachute. How would you react?
Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump
anyway.
Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived
crashes just like this before.
Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on
parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.
Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.
Doctor: you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the
parachute in order to make your next appointment.
Sales executive: you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and
get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.
Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with
their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.
____________________
One day, the seven dwarfs left to go work in the mine.
Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch.
Later, when she went to the mine with the seven lunches,
Snow White saw that there had been a terrible cave in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst.
Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that someone had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello?"
For quite a while there was no answer. Greatly discouraged, Snow White called one more time,
"Hello, Is anyone down there?" Just as she was about to give up all hope,
there came a faint voice arose from deep in the mine.
Calling out faintly back up the mine shaft the voice said, "Vote for Hillary, Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out, "Oh, Praise The Lord!!!!! At least Dopey is still alive."
________________
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Where God Wants Me
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/12348.htm
Beer Commercial
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112434.htm
Say Your Sorry
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112435.htm
LABLAUGHS
DOGGIE AA.....
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20030702
SHAPELY DOG.....
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20030711,
FIRST TIME.....
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20030712
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20040803
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FREE STOUFFERS MAC AND CHEESE!
So, you want Stouffers macaroni and Cheese?
GET 3 FREE BOXES!
1. Register
2. complete survey
3. confirm your information
http://www.tinyurl.
FREE OREO CAKESTERS!!
Get your FREE* Sample of Oreo Cakesters (Soft Snack Cakes)
Get your hands on 3 boxes of soft, moist, fresh chocolate snack cakes, filled with a
thick layer of smooth, one-of-a-kind Oreo Creme. Comes in two varieties:
Original and Chocolate Creme.
http://www.tinyurl.
You know what?
I have been considering the differences lately between
"old" and "young"
When you are young a good all nighter is carousing
with your buddies. . When you are old, a good all
nighter is not having to get up and pee.
When you are old, you are told to slow down
by the doctor, not the police.
When you are young, you get a little action
because whoopie is on your mind, and when you
are old , getting a little action means taking
you don't have to take any metamusell today.
But the biggest difference I have noticed between
young and old, when I was young, Mr Happy used
to stand and watch me shave. Now that I am old,
he just looks down at the floor.:(
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE COMICS
desperation
http://www.thepostm
sex change clinic
http://www.thepostm
amusements
http://www.thepostm
naughty little man
http://www.thepostm
Miss Duddly you lied
http://www.thepostm
complaints department
http://www.thepostm
grandpa didn't make it
http://www.thepostm
begging the general's pardon
http://www.thepostm
missing persons
http://www.thepostm
what the hell...
http://www.thepostm
George W. Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says: "As I'm
the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred
to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom"
The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have
to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."
George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?"
To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to
be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr Bush".
Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?"
The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies "Sorry again, Mr
Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and
you are not an Emperor."
Before George Bush could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think
you're doing quite nicely as a Country."
____________
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated
Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is
mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the
garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take
out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the
house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide
I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye. They need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with
water, and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I
decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels, and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day, the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my email.
____________
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear
that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!" "Oh, no! I've just
been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I
also heard that you've been calling me fat!" "Oh, no! I just said
that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you
really are." "I also heard that you're saying that my husband has a
wart on his dick!" "Oh, no! I only said that it feels like he has a
wart on his dick!"
____________
THE PARACHUTE PARADIGM
You are one of *two* people on a malfunctioning airplane with only
one parachute. How would you react?
Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump
anyway.
Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived
crashes just like this before.
Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on
parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.
Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.
Doctor: you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the
parachute in order to make your next appointment.
Sales executive: you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and
get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.
Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with
their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.
____________
One day, the seven dwarfs left to go work in the mine.
Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch.
Later, when she went to the mine with the seven lunches,
Snow White saw that there had been a terrible cave in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst.
Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that someone had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello?"
For quite a while there was no answer. Greatly discouraged, Snow White called one more time,
"Hello, Is anyone down there?" Just as she was about to give up all hope,
there came a faint voice arose from deep in the mine.
Calling out faintly back up the mine shaft the voice said, "Vote for Hillary, Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out, "Oh, Praise The Lord!!!!! At least Dopey is still alive."
____________
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Where God Wants Me
http://www.buffalos
Beer Commercial
http://www.buffalos
Say Your Sorry
http://www.buffalos
LABLAUGHS
DOGGIE AA.....
http://www.lablaugh
SHAPELY DOG.....
http://www.lablaugh
FIRST TIME.....
http://www.lablaugh
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
.
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment