Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Absolutely fabulous!
Everybody in the U.S. should see this. Please watch this.
The following is the hottest thing on the internet and on Fox News
today.
Lizzie Palmer who put this YouTube program together is 15 years old.
There have been over 3,000,000 hits as of this morning.
In case you missed it, here it is.
(Warning: Slow opening on dialup)
http://www.youtube.
Rec'd from Angel.... pls send this out to all groups, Bill!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
When the bridge collapsed in Minneapolis I was playing pool online
and the
conversation turned quickly to the fact that terrorist had blown up a
bridge
during rush hour traffic. Even during early reports terrorism was
never
expected
but it only took seconds for rumors to get started and later that
night
there
were still people suggesting that the government had blown up the
bridge
to keep alive terrorism programs. I guess that was no large stretch
of the
imagination as there are millions of Americans that believe Johnson
had
Kennedy snuffed, the Queen had Princess Diana killed, and Bush blew
up the WTC, not to mention that we have visited every planet in the
solar
system using UFO's or UFO technology. I think if the Martian rovers
showed some little Martian waving at us there would be a million
people
jumping up and down yelling. " I told you so." It is our nature to
question
everything and some conclusions can be bizarre. The other day I heard
a good question that came out of this whole event concerning the
International Bridge and similar border crossings. Because of
increased
inspections there're large back-ups of both truck and car traffic on
the
bridge and someone was wondering if the bridge had been designed for
that
type of loading. A history channel program on bridge failures, if you
saw it would probably do less to calm your fears but fortunately the
message was that although these things happen they don't happen too
often. If you take 140,000 cars per day for 40 years, there are
probably
better odds that you will win the Powerball lottery 3 times in a row
than
you will die in a bridge collapse.
Enjoy the chips and have a good weekend ... buffalo
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Bee Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young woman was walking through a field gathering spring flowers.
She
wore a sun dress, but no underwear.
When her husband came home for lunch she said she thought a bee might
have gotten trapped "up there" inside her. Her husband took her to the
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wife is starting to moan and sweat. He says, "Doctor, is it working?"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Sperm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the
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the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the
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Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm an Egg.' From
that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you
understand?"
The sperm nodded affirmatively.
Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He
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sticky ball.
When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and
says, "Hi,
I'm a sperm!"
The red sticky ball smiles and says, "Hi. I'm a tonsil."
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Memory Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy starts talking to two women in a bar. They turn out
to be Siamese twins and they wind up back at his apartment.
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other.
He thinks the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her what
she'd like to do.
She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love to play your
trombone."
So she plays it while he makes love to her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past his apartment building.
One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy."
The other girl says, "Gee... do you think he'll remember us?"
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Caught Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi
at
the airport. It was after midnight.
While enroute to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness
as he suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch
her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the
bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back
and
there was his wife in bed with another man.
The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I
lied
when I told you I inherited money.
He paid for the new golf clubs I bought you. He paid for the Corvette
I
bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our
house
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the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun.
He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he
catches a cold."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Doctor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynecologist. The doctor
takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing
of
the past. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed
he
begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does he says to the woman: "Do you know what I'm doing ?"
"Yes," she says, "you`re checking for any abrasions or dermatological
abnormalities.
He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing
now",
he says. "Yes," says the woman, "you`re checking for any lumps or
breast
cancer."
"That's right," replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds to
actually fucking her "Do you know," he pants "what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You`re getting "AIDs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
- A peach is a peach, A plum is a Plum, A kiss isn't a kiss without
some
tongue, So open your mouth, Close your eyes and give your tongue some
exercise
- I love you forever, I like you always, As long as I'm living, My
baby
you'll be
- I wuz here but now I'm gone, I left my name to turn you on. Those
who
know me, know me well. And all the rest can go to hell
- Remember the trees, Remember the grass, Remember me the pain in the
ass
- A friend can kiss a friend goodbye, a friend can kiss a butterfly, A
friendly deer can kiss the grass, but you my friend can kiss my ass
- I wuz here! Wuz I here! Here I wuz!
- Why is the ocean so restless? The reason I'll tell U. If you had
crabs
on your bottom you'd be restless too
- It's easy to find a friend when your heart is full of hope, but it's
hard to find a towel when your eyes are full of soap
- Kisses are blown, Kisses are wasted, Kisses aren't kisses unless
they're tasted, Kisses spread germs and germs are hated. So kiss me
baby, I'm vaccinated
- Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick.
wasn't nimble Jack wasn't quick, Jack ended up with a quick fried dick
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
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Subscribers and Friends
Dear Friends
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John w/ At The Hop ~Danny & The Juniors~ 1958
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Carol w/Let Me Come Inside
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2007 Sturgis Rally Via Dianne
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I-35 Bridge Collapse Slideshow
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend is teaching an introductory biology class at a local
university. The topic last week was mammals, and she was preparing a
Power Point slide show with images of various animals to illustrate
the
huge diversity of the mammals.
Of course, the obvious place to look for images is on the Internet,
and
she had great success with searches for "armadillo photos" and "whale
photos" and "monkey photos."
Then she made her mistake: she did a search for "beaver photos."
A young couple were married, and celebrated their first night
together,
doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.
Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel
when
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from the
bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door,
exposing
his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him
well.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and
stared, and
she asked shyly, "What's that?", pointing to a small part of his
anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's
what
we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement,
asked, "Is that
all we have left?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
See you in Hell
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just bought a new car, it's a pervertable, the top stays up but the
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It's made by Oldsmobile, remember the 88, and the 98, well this one is
the urinate, what a pisser.
It's a 72 passenger car, 3 in the front and 69 in the back.
~~~~~~~~
Sign on a Doctor's Office
"The impossible we do today, Miracles take 24 hours".
If raising children was going to be easy,
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"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He
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"What's so wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet."
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be
home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in
another
man's arms. Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few
minutes,
then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim was in a terrible wreck. He was taken to the hospital where he
remained
comatose for two weeks and when he awoke he was ravenous. Finding the
call
button he rang for the nurse and asked if he could have something to
eat.
She told him, "You have a broken jaw and it is wired shut. I can't
think of
anything that you could eat in that condition."
"Well, could I 'pwease' have a cup of coffee?" Jim asked through his
clenched jaw.
"We'll try," the nurse told him. "Maybe we can get a straw between
your
teeth."
But try as they would, it just wouldn't go. Jim grumbled and moaned
and
swore he was going to die without coffee until the nurse finally
said,
"Maybe we could give it to you in an enema."
She fixed up the syringe and began to administer it when suddenly Jim
winced
and drew up.
"Is it too hot?" the nurse asked.
"No, but could you please put some sugar in it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day.
Please send an encouraging message to a challenged friend... just
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I don't care if you lick windows,
screw farm animals,
take the short bus
or occasionally shit yourself...
You hang in there sunshine,
you're friggin special.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1044
And the Answer is....
Rudy: Is she going to live?
Katie: She is coming around..
Sandi: What happened? I thought I heard Rudy ask me to...
Rudy: I meant every dad gummed word of it.
Sandi: I have wanted to hear those words for a very long time.
Rudy: Why didn't you say something?
Sandi: It is not my place. It is your place. Remember when I
turned over the Alpha Dog job over to you. That was a huge hint.
Rudy: I guess my skull is pretty thick.
Sandi: I suppose you want an answer?
Rudy: Gulp! Yes.
Sandi: Yes then it will be.
Katie: I would like to be the wedding planner.
Rudy: Then do it Katherine and the sooner the better. I have
stammered and stumbled long enough.
Sandi: How about your job Rudy of protecting the house?
Rudy: I will still have to work nights. But that will leave you to
sleep with dad and I think that is what you want anyway right?
Sandi: Yeah, that is what I want. We will have our time during
the day. We have so much to talk about. Let's go tell Ginger.
to be continued
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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