welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!!!!!
HAPPINESS IS NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT,
BUT WANTING WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
NOW YOU CAN HAVE FREE DOMINOS PIZZA!
Thick crusts, tasty toppings, savory sauce. Go ahead. Please your palate with
America’s favorite Pizza Pie. Get two DOMINO’S Pizza & Cola Gift Certificates
good towards 2 Large Pies with 1 Topping each and 2/2 Liter bottles of Cola!
Now that’s amore
http://www.tinyurl.com/39ff75
Now you can air-brush on a perfect tan when you want to, in the comfort of your home with Salon Bronze Pro Deluxe.
Look noticeably better with a Salon Bronze Tan! FDA approved DHA is not orange or streaky.
And it lasts for 12- 14 days if you exfoliate before applying. Spraying is easy and isn't messy.
Do it in your bathroom for a quick clean up. Get professional results the first time, every time.
Dries in seconds, won't rub off, lasts 10 days or more.
Look great all summer... starting now!
http://www.tinyurl.com/3abl36
I am back again! You might recall that me and the "war department" were gone for the weekend
to take care of "family matters" because around here, family "matters". And please forgive me
for not being able to answer the huge volume of well wishes
and prayers via email for her mom, who suffered
a major stroke earlier last week. Things have just been so hectic I don't have enough hours in the day,
it seems. To give you an update, it appears that the clot was caused by a collapse of the catoroid artery.
And not much they can do about it, they say. But now I am back and it is time to turn our attention to
more entertaining and humorous things!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
TEXAS WAL-MART STORES
Wal-Mart announced Today that '' ALL'' it's TEXAS Stores will begin offering
customers a new discount item . Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.
The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of
California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2- $5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand
into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said
Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas,Bentonville.
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most
attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand that will be only sold in TEXAS.
The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5.! ! Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's Not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (possum) or red meat (squirrel)
oh and one more thing...
Be watching for another
"We remember" special issue!
It'll be coming soon!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!
the interview
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies258.html
the football game
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies257.html
this guy is just plain funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies259.html
SWEETY!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies261.html
you don't see this every day!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies260.html
THE COMICS
you're absolutely right!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z001.html
all hands...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z002.html
Billy went to the doc....
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z003.html
making the record book
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z004.html
at Tim's birthday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z005.html
sorry...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z006.html
I've had it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z007.html
uhh..honey?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z008.html
look mom!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z009.html
nympho Roxanne
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z010.html
_______________
THE JOKES!
Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been
diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.
My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in San
Antonio, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.
They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at
Huntsville for the murder
of a teenage boy in 1994.
My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct
with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview.
She is a part time "working girl".
All things considered, my problem is this.
I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family.
I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
_____________
A redneck fisherman was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests
full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim' round for a while.
Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"That's not right! Fish can't do that!"
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said,
"It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes,
the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the redneck.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
_________________
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Alaska.
The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I want
you to know that I haven't wasted all this time alone. Instead, I've
mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!"
And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether.
"Now watch," he said. Next he said, "Dick, ten-HUT!" And with that, his
dick sprang to full erection. Then he said, "Dick, at EASE!" And his
dick deflated again.
"Wow, that was amazing," said his wife. "Do you mind if I bring our
next-door neighbor over to see this? It's really something else!"
The guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of what
he had accomplished.
So the wife goes next door and comes back with a delicious looking woman
who got this guy's full attention! After a brief pause to take her in,
he said, "Now watch this." Then he said
"Dick, ten-HUT!" and the dick sprang to life.
Then it was "Dick, at EASE!" But nothing happened. So the guy again
said, "Dick, at EASE!" But still nothing happened.
So the guy now says, "For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch, I said AT
EASE!!" Still nothing.
Well, the guy was embarassed and ran off to the bathroom. His wife made
excuses for him and then joined her husband in the bathroom, where she
found him masturbating.
"What in the world are you doing!?" she asked.
The guy says... "I'm givin' this son-of-a-bitch a dishonorable discharge!"
_________________
*9 WORDS WOMEN USE
*1. *Fine* : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.
2. *Five Minutes *: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. * Nothing :* This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.* Go Ahead* : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. *Loud Sigh* : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.* That's Okay* : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.* Thanks* : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint... Just say you're welcome.
8. * Whatever* : Is a women's way of saying F-- YOU!
9.* Don't worry about it, I got it :* Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's
wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
_______________
There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him. Then he sees an ad in the paper
for a great dog trainer. So, he decides to go to the dog trainer and get his dog trained.
The guy walks in the room and asks, "Can you train my dog, and are you a good trainer?"
The trainer replies, "Well, I can train your dog, and I will give you a demonstration of how good I am."
He dumped a box full of bones on the floor and blew a whistle.
The first dog came in and made a skeleton with the bones.
"Wow!" said the guy, "What kind of dog is that?" "That's a nurse's dog," said the trainer.
Then he blows the whistle again and a second dog comes in the room.
That dog makes a big building. The man says, "Wow! What kind of dog is that?"
"That's an architect's dog," replies the trainer.
Then the trainer blows the whistle again and a third dog comes in. That dog takes the bones,
screws the other two dogs and runs away.
"Wow! What kind of dog is that?" says the man. "That's a lawyer's dog!"
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Flying Dog
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112476.htm
Chimps in The Bar
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112477.htm
Parking
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/3246.htm
LABLAUGH TOONS!
THE RIGHT KEY.....
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20030808
DON'T DO IT OUTDOORS.....
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20030809
CAN'T GET IT UP.....
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20030811
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!
HAPPINESS IS NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT,
BUT WANTING WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
NOW YOU CAN HAVE FREE DOMINOS PIZZA!
Thick crusts, tasty toppings, savory sauce. Go ahead. Please your palate with
America’s favorite Pizza Pie. Get two DOMINO’S Pizza & Cola Gift Certificates
good towards 2 Large Pies with 1 Topping each and 2/2 Liter bottles of Cola!
Now that’s amore
http://www.tinyurl.
Now you can air-brush on a perfect tan when you want to, in the comfort of your home with Salon Bronze Pro Deluxe.
Look noticeably better with a Salon Bronze Tan! FDA approved DHA is not orange or streaky.
And it lasts for 12- 14 days if you exfoliate before applying. Spraying is easy and isn't messy.
Do it in your bathroom for a quick clean up. Get professional results the first time, every time.
Dries in seconds, won't rub off, lasts 10 days or more.
Look great all summer... starting now!
http://www.tinyurl.
I am back again! You might recall that me and the "war department" were gone for the weekend
to take care of "family matters" because around here, family "matters". And please forgive me
for not being able to answer the huge volume of well wishes
and prayers via email for her mom, who suffered
a major stroke earlier last week. Things have just been so hectic I don't have enough hours in the day,
it seems. To give you an update, it appears that the clot was caused by a collapse of the catoroid artery.
And not much they can do about it, they say. But now I am back and it is time to turn our attention to
more entertaining and humorous things!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
TEXAS WAL-MART STORES
Wal-Mart announced Today that '' ALL'' it's TEXAS Stores will begin offering
customers a new discount item . Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.
The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of
California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2- $5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand
into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said
Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas,Bentonvill
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most
attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand that will be only sold in TEXAS.
The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5.! ! Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's Not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (possum) or red meat (squirrel)
oh and one more thing...
Be watching for another
"We remember" special issue!
It'll be coming soon!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!
the interview
http://www.thepostm
the football game
http://www.thepostm
this guy is just plain funny
http://www.thepostm
SWEETY!!!!
http://www.thepostm
you don't see this every day!
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
you're absolutely right!
http://www.thepostm
all hands...
http://www.thepostm
Billy went to the doc....
http://www.thepostm
making the record book
http://www.thepostm
at Tim's birthday
http://www.thepostm
sorry...
http://www.thepostm
I've had it
http://www.thepostm
uhh..honey?
http://www.thepostm
look mom!!!
http://www.thepostm
nympho Roxanne
http://www.thepostm
____________
THE JOKES!
Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been
diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.
My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in San
Antonio, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.
They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at
Huntsville for the murder
of a teenage boy in 1994.
My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct
with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview.
She is a part time "working girl".
All things considered, my problem is this.
I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family.
I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
____________
A redneck fisherman was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests
full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim' round for a while.
Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"That's not right! Fish can't do that!"
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said,
"It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes,
the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the redneck.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
____________
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Alaska.
The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I want
you to know that I haven't wasted all this time alone. Instead, I've
mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!"
And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether.
"Now watch," he said. Next he said, "Dick, ten-HUT!" And with that, his
dick sprang to full erection. Then he said, "Dick, at EASE!" And his
dick deflated again.
"Wow, that was amazing," said his wife. "Do you mind if I bring our
next-door neighbor over to see this? It's really something else!"
The guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of what
he had accomplished.
So the wife goes next door and comes back with a delicious looking woman
who got this guy's full attention! After a brief pause to take her in,
he said, "Now watch this." Then he said
"Dick, ten-HUT!" and the dick sprang to life.
Then it was "Dick, at EASE!" But nothing happened. So the guy again
said, "Dick, at EASE!" But still nothing happened.
So the guy now says, "For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch, I said AT
EASE!!" Still nothing.
Well, the guy was embarassed and ran off to the bathroom. His wife made
excuses for him and then joined her husband in the bathroom, where she
found him masturbating.
"What in the world are you doing!?" she asked.
The guy says... "I'm givin' this son-of-a-bitch a dishonorable discharge!"
____________
*9 WORDS WOMEN USE
*1. *Fine* : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.
2. *Five Minutes *: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. * Nothing :* This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.* Go Ahead* : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. *Loud Sigh* : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.* That's Okay* : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.* Thanks* : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint... Just say you're welcome.
8. * Whatever* : Is a women's way of saying F-- YOU!
9.* Don't worry about it, I got it :* Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's
wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
____________
There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him. Then he sees an ad in the paper
for a great dog trainer. So, he decides to go to the dog trainer and get his dog trained.
The guy walks in the room and asks, "Can you train my dog, and are you a good trainer?"
The trainer replies, "Well, I can train your dog, and I will give you a demonstration of how good I am."
He dumped a box full of bones on the floor and blew a whistle.
The first dog came in and made a skeleton with the bones.
"Wow!" said the guy, "What kind of dog is that?" "That's a nurse's dog," said the trainer.
Then he blows the whistle again and a second dog comes in the room.
That dog makes a big building. The man says, "Wow! What kind of dog is that?"
"That's an architect's dog," replies the trainer.
Then the trainer blows the whistle again and a third dog comes in. That dog takes the bones,
screws the other two dogs and runs away.
"Wow! What kind of dog is that?" says the man. "That's a lawyer's dog!"
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Flying Dog
http://www.buffalos
Chimps in The Bar
http://www.buffalos
Parking
http://www.buffalos
LABLAUGH TOONS!
THE RIGHT KEY.....
http://www.lablaugh
DON'T DO IT OUTDOORS....
http://www.lablaugh
CAN'T GET IT UP.....
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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