welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!!!!!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FREE TWIX CANDY BARS!!!
Take a break with that one-of-kind crispy cookie center coated with caramel
and rich milk chocolate. TWIX CARAMEL COOKIE BARS make an irresistible snack any
time of day.
http://www.tinyurl.com/32hm68
FREE STARBURSTS CHEWS!
NEW! STARBURST BERRIES & CREME Fruit Chews
Imagine the taste of a delicious frozen yogurt fruit smoothie
packed into a rich & creamy chewy square of candy.
That's the savory flavor of NEW STARBURST BERRIES & CREME.
• Mixed Berries & Crème • Raspberries & Crème
• Blueberries & Crème • Strawberries & Crème
http://www.tinyurl.com/3xt3nx
Our old freezer whizzed and breathed its last breath Saturday morning,
so me and "the war department"
went on over to Best buy to get a replacement.
They had their back to school check list
billboard out front. Hokee PETE!!!! Going back to school
ain't like I remember it! Being from a family of
poor country dirt farmers, my back to school list
usually included a new notebook, a couple
pencils, and a box of crayons and that was about it.
It seldom included clothes,
altho I was well dressed. My wardrobe
consisted mostly of hand me downs from an
older brother and cousins. Maybe not new, but clean and decent.
If someone had said "Designer clothes" to me,
I woulda said, "huhhh??" I will say tho, that I always got
a nice new pair of sneakers each fall.
(something promptly discarded upon arrival of the next summer)
Nothing fancy, no flashing stuff in the heals,
that glow in the dark, no hidden rollers
that let you go roller blading when you wanted to,
and certainly nothing endorsed by the
latest and greatest basketball player.
We country boys didn't have much use for
basketball any which way,
finding such things as coon hunting and
bullhead fishing was much
more interstin and fun.
(sides, its kinda hard to play basketball
in the streets when they're just dirt)
Anyways, after we had made our freezer purchase,
I was looking at this so called back to school billboard
checklist they had:
1. cell phone
2. mp3 player
3. laptop computer
4. new printer
5. geek squad support
and a few other tekky kinda things that
I didn't quite know what they were.
I never had none of that stuff in school. But
you know what, none of my buddies did either,
and we didn't have guns in school, and back
then nobody worried about getting shot
in math class. I came to one conclusion:
Maybe kids today need to spend less time
yappin on their cell phones, and more
time playin in their PF FLIERS.
(And if you are under the age of 30,
you can go to ask.com and
find out what a PF FLIER is hehe)
===========================================
My favorite motto:
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES
Yuko the clown
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies205.html
saran wrap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies206.html
The rich white woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies207.html
THE COMICS
the meaning of sufficient
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x051.html
the picker
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x052.html
I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x053.html
bad kitty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x054.html
busted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x055.html
obscene phone call gone wrong
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x056.html
my son
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x057.html
cheer up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x058.html
open up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x059.html
don't worry!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x060.html
THE JOKES
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he
can give him something for the hiccups.
The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.
"What did you do that for?!" the man screams.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"
The man says, "No, I don't, but my wife out in the car still does."
________________
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife
is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
_____________________
A honeymoon couple is staying in the Watergate Hotel in downtown
Washington. The bride seems a little concerned, and asks, "What if this place
is still bugged, John?"
The groom says, "I'll look around for a bug, honey." He looks behind
the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. Finally, he says, "AHA!
Lookie here!"
Under the rug was a strange looking disc with four screws. He gets his
Swiss army knife out, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc
out the window. "There! That should take care of your worrying, darling!"
The next morning at check out, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds,
"So... Mr & Mrs Jones, how was your room? How was the service? How was
your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
The groom says, "Why are you asking us all of these questions?"
The hotel manager says, "Well, the people staying in the room UNDER you
complained of the chandelier falling on them last night!"
_________________
Every year at the state fair Paul entered the lottery for the brand
new truck and lost. This year, he told his friend David, he wasn't
going to bother and enter.
"What kind of attitude is that?" David asked. He leaned closer and
whispered, "What you need, pal, is faith. Look around and see if the
good Lord sends you a message."
Strolling around the fair, Paul grew more and more despondent as the
drawing neared. Nothing struck him, no divine inspiration, no sign from God.
Finally, while he was passing old Mrs. Kelleher's pie stand, he
glanced over and saw the woman bending down. She wasn't wearing any
panties, and suddenly her ass began to glow. All of a sudden, a finger
of flame came from the skies and without her even knowing it, used her
ass as a notepad. The fiery finger etched a seven on each cheek.
Thanking God, Paul rushed to the raffle booth and played the number
77. A few minutes later, the drawing was held. And once again, Paul lost.
The winning number was 707....
____________________
The General went out to find that none of his G. I.s were there. One
finally ran up, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little
late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke
down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles,
and now I'm here."
The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he
was here so he let the G. I. go.
Moments later, eight more G. I.s came up to the general panting, he
asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought
a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the
first guy go, he let them go, too.
A ninth G. I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."
"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."
"No," said the G. I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it
took forever to get around them."
_____________
Two old buddies from WW II are sitting on a bench talking.
One of them ask the other, 'Hey Bill, you remember back in the big war to end all wars,
they gave us those saltpeter pills to make us forget about pussy?"
"Yeah, I remember, Joe, what about em?"
"I think mine is starting to work!"
_____________
As the Air Force cargo aircraft pushed back from the gate,
the Loadmistress gave the passengers
the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said,
'Now sit back and enjoy your
trip while your Aircraft Commander, Major Judith Campbell,
and crew take you safely to your destination.'
Sgt. Looper, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself,
'Did I hear her right? Is the Major a woman?'
When the cargo crew came by, he said
'Did I understand you right? Is the Major a woman?'
'Yes,' said the crew member, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.'
'My God,' said Sgt. Looper,
'I'd better have a tranquilizer. I don't know what to think
of all those women up there in the cockpit.'
'That's another thing Sarge,' she said,
'We no longer call it the cock pit.'
'It's the Box Office.'
_________________
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly
usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said.
"The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Sports Bloopers
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032916.htm
Sports Suck
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032917.htm
Stress
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032918.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FREE TWIX CANDY BARS!!!
Take a break with that one-of-kind crispy cookie center coated with caramel
and rich milk chocolate. TWIX CARAMEL COOKIE BARS make an irresistible snack any
time of day.
http://www.tinyurl.
FREE STARBURSTS CHEWS!
NEW! STARBURST BERRIES & CREME Fruit Chews
Imagine the taste of a delicious frozen yogurt fruit smoothie
packed into a rich & creamy chewy square of candy.
That's the savory flavor of NEW STARBURST BERRIES & CREME.
• Mixed Berries & Crème • Raspberries & Crème
• Blueberries & Crème • Strawberries & Crème
http://www.tinyurl.
Our old freezer whizzed and breathed its last breath Saturday morning,
so me and "the war department"
went on over to Best buy to get a replacement.
They had their back to school check list
billboard out front. Hokee PETE!!!! Going back to school
ain't like I remember it! Being from a family of
poor country dirt farmers, my back to school list
usually included a new notebook, a couple
pencils, and a box of crayons and that was about it.
It seldom included clothes,
altho I was well dressed. My wardrobe
consisted mostly of hand me downs from an
older brother and cousins. Maybe not new, but clean and decent.
If someone had said "Designer clothes" to me,
I woulda said, "huhhh??" I will say tho, that I always got
a nice new pair of sneakers each fall.
(something promptly discarded upon arrival of the next summer)
Nothing fancy, no flashing stuff in the heals,
that glow in the dark, no hidden rollers
that let you go roller blading when you wanted to,
and certainly nothing endorsed by the
latest and greatest basketball player.
We country boys didn't have much use for
basketball any which way,
finding such things as coon hunting and
bullhead fishing was much
more interstin and fun.
(sides, its kinda hard to play basketball
in the streets when they're just dirt)
Anyways, after we had made our freezer purchase,
I was looking at this so called back to school billboard
checklist they had:
1. cell phone
2. mp3 player
3. laptop computer
4. new printer
5. geek squad support
and a few other tekky kinda things that
I didn't quite know what they were.
I never had none of that stuff in school. But
you know what, none of my buddies did either,
and we didn't have guns in school, and back
then nobody worried about getting shot
in math class. I came to one conclusion:
Maybe kids today need to spend less time
yappin on their cell phones, and more
time playin in their PF FLIERS.
(And if you are under the age of 30,
you can go to ask.com and
find out what a PF FLIER is hehe)
============
My favorite motto:
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES
Yuko the clown
http://www.thepostm
saran wrap
http://www.thepostm
The rich white woman
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
the meaning of sufficient
http://www.thepostm
the picker
http://www.thepostm
I'm sorry
http://www.thepostm
bad kitty
http://www.thepostm
busted
http://www.thepostm
obscene phone call gone wrong
http://www.thepostm
my son
http://www.thepostm
cheer up
http://www.thepostm
open up
http://www.thepostm
don't worry!
http://www.thepostm
THE JOKES
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he
can give him something for the hiccups.
The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.
"What did you do that for?!" the man screams.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"
The man says, "No, I don't, but my wife out in the car still does."
____________
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife
is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
____________
A honeymoon couple is staying in the Watergate Hotel in downtown
Washington. The bride seems a little concerned, and asks, "What if this place
is still bugged, John?"
The groom says, "I'll look around for a bug, honey." He looks behind
the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. Finally, he says, "AHA!
Lookie here!"
Under the rug was a strange looking disc with four screws. He gets his
Swiss army knife out, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc
out the window. "There! That should take care of your worrying, darling!"
The next morning at check out, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds,
"So... Mr & Mrs Jones, how was your room? How was the service? How was
your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
The groom says, "Why are you asking us all of these questions?"
The hotel manager says, "Well, the people staying in the room UNDER you
complained of the chandelier falling on them last night!"
____________
Every year at the state fair Paul entered the lottery for the brand
new truck and lost. This year, he told his friend David, he wasn't
going to bother and enter.
"What kind of attitude is that?" David asked. He leaned closer and
whispered, "What you need, pal, is faith. Look around and see if the
good Lord sends you a message."
Strolling around the fair, Paul grew more and more despondent as the
drawing neared. Nothing struck him, no divine inspiration, no sign from God.
Finally, while he was passing old Mrs. Kelleher's pie stand, he
glanced over and saw the woman bending down. She wasn't wearing any
panties, and suddenly her ass began to glow. All of a sudden, a finger
of flame came from the skies and without her even knowing it, used her
ass as a notepad. The fiery finger etched a seven on each cheek.
Thanking God, Paul rushed to the raffle booth and played the number
77. A few minutes later, the drawing was held. And once again, Paul lost.
The winning number was 707....
____________
The General went out to find that none of his G. I.s were there. One
finally ran up, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little
late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke
down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles,
and now I'm here."
The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he
was here so he let the G. I. go.
Moments later, eight more G. I.s came up to the general panting, he
asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought
a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the
first guy go, he let them go, too.
A ninth G. I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus
but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."
"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."
"No," said the G. I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it
took forever to get around them."
____________
Two old buddies from WW II are sitting on a bench talking.
One of them ask the other, 'Hey Bill, you remember back in the big war to end all wars,
they gave us those saltpeter pills to make us forget about pussy?"
"Yeah, I remember, Joe, what about em?"
"I think mine is starting to work!"
____________
As the Air Force cargo aircraft pushed back from the gate,
the Loadmistress gave the passengers
the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said,
'Now sit back and enjoy your
trip while your Aircraft Commander, Major Judith Campbell,
and crew take you safely to your destination.
Sgt. Looper, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself,
'Did I hear her right? Is the Major a woman?'
When the cargo crew came by, he said
'Did I understand you right? Is the Major a woman?'
'Yes,' said the crew member, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.'
'My God,' said Sgt. Looper,
'I'd better have a tranquilizer. I don't know what to think
of all those women up there in the cockpit.'
'That's another thing Sarge,' she said,
'We no longer call it the cock pit.'
'It's the Box Office.'
____________
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly
usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said.
"The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Sports Bloopers
http://www.buffalos
Sports Suck
http://www.buffalos
Stress
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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