THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Claim yours now! Visit to receive your FREE $250 Red Lobster Gift Card! http://www.thepostm  MR. CLEAN FREE* Sample! Everyday Messes Erase - Like Magic! Get twice the clean with your FREE* MR. CLEAN MAGIC EREASER DUO! The NEW two-sided eraser has special fabrics & formulas for all of your family's different types of messes. The white side cuts grime & removes tough soils while the other, absorbent, blue side swipes away everyday spills & mishaps! Watch them erase - Like Magic! Try Mr. Clean Magic Eraser DUO on: •Soap Scum •Scuff Marks •Dried Food Stains •Even on your Hubcaps! http://www.thepostm  MOUNTAIN DEW, 10 CASES FREE*! Drink Your Dew for FREE*. Active lifestyles rely on the refreshing lemon-lime citrus taste of MOUNTAIN DEW. Mountain bikers, rock climbers, skateboarders or surfers – It's Xtreme flavor for Xtreme personalities. http://www.thepostm  Get SNACKWELL'S Devil's Food Cookie Cakes • 12 BOXES FREE*! Get 12 FREE* Boxes of SNACKWELL'S Devil Food Cookie Cakes delivered right to your door. A delicious 100% FAT-FREE Chocolate Snack is yours for the taking! http://www.thepostm Went to the mailbox yesterday to check the mail. I have to wonder why I bother. In the course of an average month, aside from the electric bill, the heat bill and the cable bill, most of it is garbage. The bills that come do not matter, I pay everything online. So what's the point. Let's see, what else have I got? a fist full of credit card offers with 0% apr, a ton of offers from Readers' Digest telling me that Ed McMahn wants to give me millions from the publishers clearing house. And another fistfull of offers from different mortgage companies offering to refinance my house. Which is kindof silly because I have no intention of doing such a notion. As I sit back and think about it, I wonder. They tell us that credit is drying up and its harder and harder for Americans to borrow money. Doesn't make any sense to me. oh, and the latest thing? the post office says it needs to build a new building at a new location to handle the huge volume of mail. GO FIGGER We do hope you enjoy today's issue Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS THE COMICS by the inch http://www.thepostm hypochondria http://www.thepostm I've seen this before http://www.thepostm silent ones and doggies http://www.thepostm Bart Simpson http://www.thepostm football players http://www.thepostm sexy elephants http://www.thepostm smart gardner http://www.thepostm reliable investments http://www.thepostm static electricity http://www.thepostm power point displays top five men of the year http://www.thepostm A young man was walking past an old woman on a street corner, when she said, "Son, if it is not too much trouble, can you see me across the street." The young man said, "Just a minute." Then he walked across the street, looked back and yelled, "Yes, I can see you!" ____________ Three cowboys were sitting in a bar discussing women. "I think Southern Women are the prettiest," one of them said."I think Southern women are the toughest," said another. The third said, "I think they're the most polite. That's why they don't like group sex." His friends looked at him, confused. "They don't like group sex?""Nope, too many thank-you notes to write." ____________ Q: How do you know when you're really a loser? A: When a nymphomaniac says, "Let's just be friends Q: What's the title of a horror film for Jewish women? A: Debby Does The Dusting ____________ Three women always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it rains, however, the laundry always get wet. All the laundry, that is, except for Sophie's. The other two women wonder why Sophie never has her laundry out on the days that it rains. So one day they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women says to Sophie, "Say, how come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," says Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Saul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day, and I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash.""What if he has an erection?" asks one of the women. "Honey," says Sophie, "on a day like that, you don't do the laundry!" ____________ The new librarian decided that, instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them that they were signing a "contract" for returning the books on time.Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and, with a look of utter disgust on his face, handed them to the librarian. Before the librarian could even start her speech, the boy said, disdainfully, "That other librarian we had could write." ____________ A truck driver was pulled over by a state trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck. As the driver got stepped out of the cab, the patrolman noticed him putting something in his mouth. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked, "Did I just see you swallow something?" "Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver. "Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman. "Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed." ____________ BUFFALO BILL I'm Just Hoping http://www.buffalos First Pregnancy http://www.buffalos PAPA THORN American Beauty Never loses his keys (smut alert) http://able2laugh. FUN PAGES from Lorraine Old Joke Keeps Getting Funnier http://tinyurl. Unconditional Love Terminated http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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