THE POSTMAN'S CORNER A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.  ST. IVES Swiss Formula - FREE* SAMPLES! Improve Your Skin with St. Ives- FREE*! • Cucumber Melon Moisturizing Body Wash, 6-pack • Cucumber Melon with Vitamin E Moisture Therapy Lotion • Cucumber and Elastin Eye and Face Stress Gel http://www.thepostm  Select Your Favorite CHIPS AHOY COOKIES - Get 3 PACKS for FREE*! Make milk and cookies an even tastier treat with scrumptious Nabisco CHIPS AHOY cookies - NOW in 6 delicious varieties for you to sample for FREE*! http://www.thepostm  Which lip balm protects your lips better: ChapStick(R) or Burt's Bees(R)? Tell us which one you rely on. Then participate for a Free* Sample of your choice. Keep your lips smooth and kissable all winter long http://www.thepostm  Try a FREE* SAMPLE of ARM & HAMMER Advanced White Toothpaste Remove coffee & tobacco stains to reveal the radiant smile you've always wanted. Get brighter, WHITER TEETH with world-trusted ARM & HAMMER Advance White Fluoride Anti-Cavity Mint Toothpaste with Dental Baking Soda & Peroxide. It may be a mouthful to say, but you'll get a mouthful of dazzling, healthy white teeth! http://www.thepostm Whew, it has been a busy week! I finally got all the "yard waste" cleaned up and hauled out to the landfill. In addition, I had to move our compost pile out. For 20 years I have been dumping the grass clippings out behind the shed. Its a great source for digging up leaf worms if you are a fisherman. No one ever said anything before, and finally the city complained. Had that thing out there for 20 years. I figger that one of the neighbors must have complained. So, out to the dump it went. In addition, the trees had been getting so huge they needed a good trimming back. So I had a tree service come out to saw them back to a respectable distance there was a time when I was young and stupid, I would have crawled up there myself and done it. Now that I am old and stupid, I find it much easier simply to have something like that hired out. In case you have noticed a couple of days this week that the Corner has been late getting out, then you will know. Realtime stuff keeps getting in the way of this important virtual stuff:) I have to wonder sometimes when I ever found time to actually work when I had a job.!!! But you know one thing I have decided about that? I didn't mind going to work, but that eight hour wait I used to have to do before I went home was a real bitch:) We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS http://thepostmansc talks with his hands http://thepostmansc amazing new diet http://thepostmansc whats for dinner http://thepostmansc illegal immigrants http://thepostmansc Michael Jackson gets ready for halloween http://thepostmansc going for gold in Beijing http://thepostmansc I'll call you back http://thepostmansc  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES I could be wrong http://thepostmansc dancing walrus http://thepostmansc the wolf and the sheep http://thepostmansc flying motorcycle http://thepostmansc how to make fake vomit http://thepostmansc the stewardess http://thepostmansc Today on my way to lunch, I passed a homelss guy with a sign that read "Vote Obama,I need the money," I laughed. Once in the restaurant, my waiter had on an "Obama 08" tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference. Just imagine that when the bill came, I decided not to tip the waiter and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need, the homeless guy outside. The waiter angily stormed from my sight in a huff. I went outside, gave the homeless guy the $10 tip, and told him to thank the waiter inside as I had decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was really grateful. At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment, I realized the homelss guy was grateful for the money he did NOT earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money that he DID earn even though I decided the homeless guy needed it more. I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application. ____________ She took what felt like an opportune moment to ask the guy she was dating if he was serious about their relationship. Looking hurt, he said, "Do you know how special you are?" He held up his cell phone. "I use my daytime minutes on you." ____________ Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, "Johnny. This is where you come from." Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd." ____________ While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? ____________ NEW SEXUAL POSITIONS The IRS position, where you just bend over and take it up the ass with no lube. The Humidor (requires a cigar and an intern). The Monday Night Football (actually just doggie style done facing the TV with the game on with her in the football shirt of your favorite team). The Kentucky Derby (AKA Woman astride) be forewarned if you decide to use the western variant of this (The Rodeo) her spurs WILL wreak havoc on the bed linens! Oral Submarine. The guy must Dive...Dive ... Dive. The Bugs Bunny: It's when the guy is on top with the women's legs pinned behind her head. The British Telecom position: you get SCREWED by them and they never call you back. The Grenade Position...I' ____________ One evening, a young man was surprised to find that his bar pickup line had worked and that he was headed to his new companion's apartment. During the drive she explained to him that she was going to show him all about her home state of New Jersey using her body. "Interesting concept," he thought. First, she took his hand and placed it on her backside; she explained to him that this was, "Freehold." Next, she took his other hand and placed it on her left breast; she told him that this was, "Point Pleasant." Again she took his hand, this time she placed it between her legs. Believing that he was getting the gist of the game, he asked, "So, is this Cherry Hill?" She smiled at him and said, "No, this is Eatontown!" ____________ One of our Guest editors, PAPA THORN has some thing special for us this am. He has put together a cartoon link with over 70 political cartoons! They reflect both view points, so whether youre a dem or a rep, be sure to visit http://able2laugh. BUFFALO bill BJ's http://www.buffalos Can I Pet Your Beaver http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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