THE POSTMAN'S CORNER If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? Be sure to support our sponsors! It helps to keep THE POSTMAN'S CORNER free to all who ask for it!  Get your FREE sample of Crystal Light, Purell, Blistex, plus many more samples from REMEDY Magazine just for joining REMEDYLife. In addition to FREE healthy samples you'll get coupons and special offers absolutely FREE. http://www.thepostm  NEW! Milk Chocolate Covered OREO - Get 3 Boxes for FREE*! It's your favorite sandwich cookie decadently wrapped in pure milk chocolate. OREO has never been as luxurious as it is now, draped in the richest, purest, milk chocolate. Taste the fortune. Sign up now to receive your 3 Boxes, FREE*! http://www.thepostm  FREE* NEW! PLANTERS Chocolate Lovers It's Love at First Bite. Get the perfect combination of sweet chocolate and PLANTERS nuts together in your mouth! Get your FREE* 2-Pack Sample of Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds. Satisfy your chocolate craving with crunchy, sweet PLANTERS Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds! A heavenly 2-Pack Sample of divine Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds is yours for FREE*! http://www.thepostm  PURELL Wipes, FREE*! Clean, Soft & FREE! Conveniently remove light soils and dirt from hands after being public places - Simply pop the top on your PURRELL sample and get rid of illness causing bacteria in just 15 seconds. Don't get sick when you can't wash your hands, use PURELL to help you stay happy, healthy & utterly germ-free! http://www.thepostm FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! Today's news focuses on financial issues Subject: The Market Today Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding buying or selling of stocks, but I felt this is important enough to share and warn you since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another ENRON. Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks: · American Can · Interstate Water · National Gas Company · Northern Tissue Company Due to uncertain market conditions, I advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas. You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean.It's a tough market out there. Be careful! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS when I married http://www.thepostm procrastination http://www.thepostm hubby is confused http://www.thepostm I'm leaving you http://www.thepostm more icecream http://www.thepostm losing my shirt http://www.thepostm David Letterman http://www.thepostm Sesame Street http://www.thepostm practical use of a condom http://www.thepostm The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone. Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile. Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones ____________ Joe Smith was a far-out nut on golf, and it had come to be his only topic of conversation. Mrs. Smith bore it with increasing impatience and felt herself being slowly driven to the brink of distraction by the constant discussion of birdies, drivers, and sandtraps; of his golf clubs, his caddies, and his scores.Finally, at dinner one day, her patience snapped. "Listen," she said, "I'm tired of golf, golf, golf, day in and day out. For once, I don't want any discussion of golf at this meal." Joe raised a pair of hurt eyes and said plaintively, "But what do I talk about, then?" 'About anything," said Mrs. Smith angrily. "Talk about sex, for goodness' sake." "Okay," said Joe sullenly. He fell silent for a moment, then brightened up and said, "Say, I wonder who my caddie is screwing these days" ____________ One year, Jim's family was having the "extended family Fourth of July cookout" at their home. One of the special treats that year was the lighting of the fireworks they had bought out of state, because they're illegal in their state, of course! Just before they were to arrive, a cousin calls, saying his neighbor's plans had just fallen through and could they bring them along to the picnic. They even had extra food to bring. "Sure, the more the merrier!" Upon arrival and meeting their cousin's neighbor, it is discovered that he's a police officer. The father turns as innocently as he can to Jim and whispers to him to grab the paper bag of fireworks sitting in the kitchen and hide them somewhere quickly. Jim disappears and the father changes the topic to food for the day. This family had brought some chicken to grill, so the father tells them the gas grill is all set to use out back. "Just turn on the gas and push the ignition button with the lid still closed." They head out to the back as Jim comes back in through the front door. The father hurries to him and says, "Whew, that was close! That man's a police officer and he almost saw the fireworks. Did you hide them real well?" "Oh, yeah, nobody will ever think to look in the grill!" ____________ "Give it here!" "NO. It's MINE!" "I said, let me have it!" "NO! It's MY turn!" "C'mon! Give it to me!" "NO WAY!" (Siamese twins masturbating) ____________ A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him.He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing. And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you see that !" "OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt ?". Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin !!?". Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there anything else you'd like ? ". "No" says the hunter and he starts to leave. As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "Btw pal... exactly what do you hunt?" " I hunt for cheap gin you bumbling idiot! Couldn't you tell that - I'm a BarGIN Hunter!" ____________ A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside a Maryland immigration office. 'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.' The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and - - PING ! - - he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth! 'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go.' The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here. - ' PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay. 'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand. 'Yes, one more wish. I want to be just like an American, with American clothes instead of these torn cloths, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And, I want to have a life like Americans. - ' PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T - shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon. 'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?' THIS IS GOOD....... The fairy said: 'Tough, Mac, Now that you are a American, you have to fend for yourself.'And she disappeared! Papa Thorn Welcome to A O HELL http://able2laugh. We need a room for this? http://able2laff. Buffalo Bill Fishing With Moses http://www.buffalos Surfing http://www.buffalos Mechanics http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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