Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The gas station next door to what was the A&P store was one of
the last real service stations in the area. It was a Standard station
that had become a Chevron and in addition to all of the snacks,
coffee, sodas and car products, it had two bays with a lift and
free air. Yes free air, not the stuff that comes out of what looks
like a newspaper machine for 75 cents and stops before you
fill all of your tires but an honest to goodness hose with built in
gauge on it that a kid could fill his bike tire up with without
blowing
a hole in the tube. The owner was the mechanic and he hired
college kids to run the store and keep an eye on the six pumps.
He finally decided to retire and the gas business is such that you
either have thirty pumps or a sideline and he never found a buyer.
After sitting there empty for several years with the numbers still on
the sign reminding people that it was once possible to buy gas for
under two dollars a gallon, everything just disappeared. I hadn't
been
out in that section of town for a few days and suddenly there was
just a hole in the ground where the station had been and there was
a crew in there pouring footings and laying block. The grocery store
had bought up property at both ends and was expanding. They are
trying to get all the exterior work done and seal it up before cold
weather hits and they are doing a good job although a large chunk
of parking is being used for a contractor trailer, Porta Potty, a roll
off dumpster and pallet after pallet of brick and block. I dropped
Buffy off today to shop and found a parking spot right in the middle
of people and machinery moving around. One final observation
though and it is probably related to the price of fuel and corn, but
have you ever noticed that when some store gets ready to expand
it always seems that the cost of what ever they are selling goes up?
Then they have Grand Opening sales to get the customers back that
have went to someplace cheaper.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not only will you strengthen and reshape your abs on the Ab Rocket,
you will be able to tone and tighten your entire body.
Your neck and back will be fully supported on the unique rollers of
the
Ab Rocket which will massage your entire neck and back while you work
out.
So you will look good and feel great.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Acting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I got you a job. It's a one-liner."
"That's okay!" replies the actor, "I've been out of work for so long
I'll take anything. What's the line?"
"Hark, I hear the cannons roar," says the agent.
"I love it!" says the actor. "When's the audition?"
"Wednesday," says the agent.
Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition. He marches on
stage and shouts, "Hark, I hear the cannons roar!"
"Brilliant!" says the director, "you've got the job! The first show
is at 9 o'clock, Saturday night."
The actor is so excited that he goes on a major bender. He wakes up
8:30 Saturday evening and runs to the theater, continually repeating
his line, "Hark, I hear the cannons roar! Hark, I hear the cannons
roar!" He arrives and isstopped by the bouncer.
"Who the heck are you?"
"I'm Hark, I hear the cannons roar" says the actor.
"You're Hark, I hear the cannons roar?" says the bouncer. "You're
late! Get up to makeup right now!"
So, the actor runs up to makeup.
"Who the heck are you?" asks the makeup girl.
"I'm Hark, I hear the cannons roar!" he says.
"You're late! Sit down." So she applies the makeup. "Now, quick, get
down to the stage, it's almost time to say your line!"
So he dashes down to the stage.
"Who the heck are you?" asks the stage manager.
"I'm Hark, I hear the cannons roar!" he replies.
"Oh, thank God! Just in time! Now get out there, the curtains are
about to go up!"
So, the actor runs onto the stage. The curtains rise and he sees that
the house is full. Suddenly, there is an almighty bang behind him,
and the bewildered actor shouts, "What the fuck was THAT?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Priceless!!!
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Price Check
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Lemonade And Then Some
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
jogging
http://www.thepostm
a lifetime
http://www.thepostm
one of those days
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Johnny's mother entered little Johnny's room and woke him. "Come on
Johnny time to wake and get ready for school" Johnny groggily
pleaded, "Ahhh come on mom, just 5 more minutes please!"
She replied, " Ok, 5 more minutes then you get up and shower and come
down stairs for breakfast."
After little Johnny had his shower. His mother heard him crying as he
came down stairs. "Johnny, What's wrong."
"I had my first wet dream"
His mother was a little unsettled with his response. And
replied. "Well that isn't anything to be upset about. It's perfectly
natural and normal. It means you're growing up"
"No mom it isn't that. You don't understand!"
"Well what is it then?"
"When my friends ask me. What I said after my first ejaculation. I'm
going to have to say". "Ahhh come on mom, just 5 more minutes please!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bloom Perfect is the world's fastest growing flower seed.
The seeds are mixed in mulch then wrapped in a nutrient fortified
cocoon that surrounds the seed and are specially formulated to
attract butterflies and hummingbirds. Now you can enjoy abundant,
beautiful flowers all season long.
Order here:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speech Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One
day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went
up to the shop assistant and asked, ......"Could I have a fucket
please?"
The assistant asked, "Pardon sir?"
"Can I have a fucket please?" replied the man.
"Oh, you mean a bucket!" the shop assistant replied.
The old man said, "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for his
bucket and went
into the antique shop.
In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked, "Can I have a
cock please?"
The cashier looked very puzzled and asked, "Pardon?"
The man again asked, "Can I have a cock please?"
The cashier replied, "Oh, you mean a clock! Yes, certainly sir."
So the man paid for the clock and walked out of the shop.
The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and asked,
"Can I have a bum please?"
The assistant said, "Sorry sir? What did you say?"
So he repeated himself, "Can I have a bum please?"
The assistant said, " Oh right, you mean a bun!"
The old man said, "Yes that's what I said in the first place."
So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop.
As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to him
and asked, "Excuse
me sir, but do you know the time?"
The man replied, "Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket while I get
my cock out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now any woman can enjoy fuller, more attractive breasts instantly.
Ideal for wearing under bathing suits, tank tops, halter tops or any
strapless outfits.
- Head turning cleavage instantly!
- Liftys will give you that youthful, perky and attractive look
you'll love.
- Lifty's is the original and natural breast lift that is comfortable
and stylish
- Instant results that last all day
- Each package contains 6 liftys and 6 petal covers
<><><><><><>
" I love Lifty's. I went out dancing all night and they worked
awesome!"
- Cathy, San Diego, CA
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why don't homosexuals like chess?
Because every so often, they have to sacrifice a queen.
I once had a girlfriend that was so skinny, every time her nipples got
hard she would tip over.
South Dakota passed the most restrictive
abortion law in the country. It includes the
requirement that pregnant wives notify both their
husband AND the baby's father.
Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to
call
an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter. One afternoon
he
returned early from work and saw a plumber's truck in the driveway.
"Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let her be having an
affair."
Stuck in rush-hour traffic, I couldn't help but stare at a burly biker
wearing a black leather jacket and chaps pulled up next to me on a
shocking pink Harley. My first thoughts were, "Is that really a pink
Harley? I wonder if he's..."
Just then the traffic cleared, and he pulled up in front of me. On
the
back of his jacket were stenciled the words, "Yes, it is. No, I'm
not."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fancy Frost - The fun and easy way to decorate desserts!
Fancy Frost makes decorating like a pro as easy as 1, 2, 3! The Fancy
Frost 19 piece kit makes beautifully frosted cakes, cookies, pies and
cupcakes. Use it to make deviled eggs, decorate hor d'eauves and
create party platters. Get your Fancy Frost kit now for only $9.99!
Here's what you get:
* 4 Classic Decorating Tips
* 1 Quick-Snap Frosting Cartridges
* 1 Frosting Collar
* 1 Automatic Decorating Want
* 1 Injector Tip
* Cathy Mitchell's Guide to Decorating
* Plus, 10 Bonus Decorating Tips
Don't wait - start decorating like a pro now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sadie and Sophie are sitting at the kitchen table,
bragging.
"My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami,"
says Sadie. "She goes out to dinner every night at a
different restaurant, has beautiful furs and clothes,
and lots of boyfriends. "
Sophie replies, "Yeah, my daughter's a whore too."
Bill was walking through the mall when he observed
this knockout blonde approaching him.
He says to the lady, "You are a gal with my favorite
kind of legs!"
The blonde asks, "And just what kind of legs are
they?"
Bill says, " They have feet on one end and pussy on
the other!"
This guy is going through a nasty divorce. One night
he's sitting at a bar getting plastered.
Suddenly he raises his head, looks over his LEFT
shoulder and yells, "You women are all bitches!" then
goes back to staring into his drink.
Five minutes later he raises his head looks over his
RIGHT shoulder and yells, "You women are all whores!"
To that a women stands up and says, "I am not a
whore!"
The guy keeps looking at his glass and says, "Then get
over to the other side."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your darling daughter brings you countless joys. Now The Bradford
Exchange is
delighted to offer you 20 special ways to tell her how much she means
to you -
all in one Ultimate Daughter Charm Bracelet gift! 20 different charms
plated
in sterling silver, with 24K gold-plated accents and genuine
Swarovski(R)
crystals. 9 charms with loving inscriptions. Arrives in a custom-
designed
presentation case. EXCLUSIVE! Quantities are limited and strong
demand is
expected, so DON'T WAIT. Click this link now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
London Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Excuse me sir
Oy yoooo kaaaant
2. Could you direct me to the town centre please?
Weeza faakin taaahn?
3. Oh my gosh, what is that over there?
Wu faakssat?
4. My boy/girlfriend has got a flash expensive car!
Me luvaz got un x r free I innit!
5. I don't like you much/you are probably my best friend!
Yu faakin kaaaant!
6. Can I please have one of of your cigarettes, as I've run out?!
Gissaa
faaaag?!
7. And the point you are trying to make is?
An' wot?
8. The cost of that is one pound!
Paand, maate!!!
9. Come over here and sit quietly, sweet child!
Oy, Kylee-Billee-
afor I faakin slapyas!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mighty Putty is a super powered epoxy that does it all.
Mold to any shape and apply to any surface for an everlasting bond.
From your smallest craft to your largest home improvement,
Mighty Putty will get the job done.
Simply cut, activate, apply --- and let it dry.
- Build, restore & repair
- Fix, fill or seal almost any surface
- Support up to 350lbs
- Sand it, paint it, drill it
Buy now and we'll triple your order, Free!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Burning Candle
http://silverandgol
TIME IS PRECIOUS
http://www.wtv-
Humor In Religion 2
http://www.shangral
Judy w/ In Times Of Doubt
http://frommyheart2
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch! And
new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Howstuffworks "How Tower Cranes Work"
http://science.
Military To Civilian Life
http://helmetstohar
The Horror Library
http://www.horrorli
Native American Technology
http://www.nativete
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC or
laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Vista Tips, Tricks, and Tweaks
http://www.howtogee
Windows Vista Downloads
http://www.vistault
Vista Tweaks
http://www.vistault
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell
wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I've to
decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training System so I
can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right
way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://movies.
Doggie Zone
http://www.akc.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few
minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention that your computer's registry does contain file "errors",
then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to
win a seat and play in our upcoming World Series of Poker*.
There is no cost involved for you to play: You DO NOT need to deposit
any money or give a credit card number to play...BUT YOU CAN WIN
CASH!
Don't miss this chance!
Press here to Start Playing Today!
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Fire Hose Rodeo
http://www.buffalos
Gym Prank 1
http://www.buffalos
Gym Prank 2
http://www.buffalos
Italian Cork Soakers
http://www.buffalos
Japanese Party Favor
http://www.buffalos
Women Drivers
http://www.buffalos
Women's Instructional Video
http://www.buffalos
Word Riddle
http://www.buffalos
World's Best Trick
http://www.buffalos
Worse Than Locking Keys In Car http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend Bill is still out there job hunting. He
says he always has a problem when filling out the job
application and gets to the part about 'Sex: F or M'.
He says he never knows which to choose --
He says he really likes to 'F', but he spends most of
the time alone 'M'-ing.
This old man marries a girl barely out of her teens.
Needless to say she is asking for it, so when they get
into bed on the wedding night she asks him "So are we
going to have rampant sex tonight?"
The man responds by raising his hand and outstretching
his fingers.
"What? Five times?" asks the eager girl.
"No", he replied. "Pick a finger".
An elderly lady went to see her physician about a
problem she was having.
After an examination, the doctor told her that she
needed a sigmoidoscope to check her lower intestine.
He began the examination, telling her to let him
know if she felt pain. Well the doctor's efforts
brought forth a tremendous amount of gas on her
stomach that she expelled with a very loud fart.
"Madam!" the doctor exclaimed, "A simple "yes" or "no"
will suffice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PETZOOM - The all-new self-cleaning pain-free quick and
easy way to groom your pet.
Be the owner every Pet wants.
Hate grooming your pet with a wire brush, tugging, pulling and
making a mess all over the floor? Then you need PetZoom, the new self-
cleaning, pain-free way to groom your pet right at home.
PETZOOM :
Professional Results
Adjustable Bristle Length
Soft, Massaging Tips
Brush Cleans Itself
Easily Attracts Hair, Dirt and Dander
Order Today
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Got in to you
http://www.buffalos
Got the Job
http://www.buffalos
Fly me
http://www.buffalos
Wear A Bra!
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Impotence
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
Stop Applauding
http://buffalosjoke
<a href=" http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breathed a tender young man from Australia,
My darling, please let me unveilia.
And then, of, my own,
If you'll kindly lie prone;
I'll endeavor, my sweet, to impalia.
A lubricious young woman named Gwen
Had never learned how to say "when!"
So she did it again
And again and again
And again and again and again.
There once was a man named Brewster,
Who said to his wife as he goosed her,
That used to be grand,
But just look at my hand,
Your not wiping as good as you used to!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Build Your Own Wind and Solar Power Generator
You are about to get instant access to all the plans and instructions
you need to create electricity in your own backyard.
Your membership will allow you to reduce or even completely eliminate
your electricity bill. All for a tiny one time fee of $49.97.
Our plans and instructions are in downloadable PDF format which means
there is no need to wait for shipping. You can begin working on your
own renewable energy solution in just minutes from now.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a husband who was in the habit of taking the family dog
for a nice long walk each evening. It was good exercise for both
of them, his wife felt, and the dog became so used to the routine
that it positively drooled to be taken out on schedule every
night.
So when her husband was sick one evening, the wife took the dog
out instead. To her surprise the dog pulled vigorously at the
leash and led her around the block to a house around the corner
and began to scratch at the door. A female voice called out, "I
won't be a minute, darling."
Soon the door was opened by an attractive young woman in a
negligee, and the dog dashed in straight to a dish of meat that
was waiting for him -- obviously as usual.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up to
30 bills on one side and up to six credit cards on the other.
Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
how much or what the abuse, you'll have a lifetime of use,
guaranteed.
It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do
the
housework. They hired a most comely young woman for the job. he worked
out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat, and
also
kept the gentleman of the household most satisfied indeed!.
One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have
to
quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was
persistent, so finally she said, "Well, I'm pregnant."
The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. I am not able to have
children and my husband and I would dearly love children, so we'll
adopt
your baby if you will stay." She talked to her husband and of course
he
readily agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they
adopted it, and all went well.
After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she
would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was
pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby
if
she would stay. She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life
went
on as usual.
In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same
thing. She was pregnant. They made the same offer, she agreed, and
they
adopted the third baby. She worked for another two months, but then
said, " I am definitely leaving this time."
"Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the lady of the house.
"No," she said, "there are just too many bloody kids here to pick up
after!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you like playing the slot machines I have
just found the perfect thing for you...
Bill Stone - which some people call America's
*Professor* of Slot Machines - has just put
together a 10 part minicourse and a new book
on the topic...
It reveals valuable stuff like:
-> how to find "loose" slot machines that are
ready to burst and avoid the tight ones
-> how to double your bank-roll
-> how to take down high jackpots without
getting banned from the casinos
-> how to actually get the money OUT of
the casino and keep what you earned...
-> and many other things...
Check it out right now:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1434
Bi-Plane Ride
Rudy: I get to what?
BJ: Yeah, I arranged for us to fly in a bi-plane.
Rudy: So what is a bi-plane?
Sandi: I have the dictionary here...it is a mulit-winged craft
designed to fly.
Katie: Sounds fun. Let's go.
Diana: Everyone in the van.
Later at the Guthrie airpark.
Rudy: Where is it?
Diana: Over there.
Rudy: That little thing. It doesn't have a lid on it.
BJ: You mean a canopy.
Katie: Whatever, it doesn't have a top, we could fall out.
Diana: Don't worry, you don't have a seat belt either.
Sandi: I believe I will keep my feet on the ground and film this for
posterity.
Rudy: Can you film my posterity getting in the plane?
Sandi: Oh yes, your posterity will fill the screen.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment