THE POTSMAN'S CORNER!  Get the latest celebrity and entertainment gossip delivered right to your doorsteps for FREE! Simply choose between UsWeekly, People Magazine or InTouch Weekly and you'll receive a FREE 1 Year Subscription to the magazine you selected! http://www.thepostm  NESTLE Pure Life Bottled Water - FREE*! Get a 24-Pack of NESTLE Pure Life Water, FREE*! If you've got a thirst for life, get a taste of NESTLE PURE LIFE water. NESTLE Pure Life gives you refreshing, purified water enhanced with a unique balance of minerals. It's the refined, crisp-tasting bottled water than only NESTLE brand can bring you! Get your FREE* 24-Pack of NESTLE Pure Life Water now while suplies last. http://www.thepostm  NEW! ORBIT Fruit Flavored Gum, FREE*! NEW fruit flavors keep your breath friendly and the flavor tasty! Just take our survey & complete the participation requirement to receive a FREE* sample delivered directly to your door. But hurry, offer is valid for a limited time only. http://www.thepostm  Get 1 Box of KIX Cereal, FREE*! KIX isn't one of those artificial or sugar-laden cereals. KIX has NO added colors, NO added flavors, NO artificial preventives - just the added benefits of 12 vitamins & minerals! http://www.thepostm Today the world stock markets plunged to frightening levels as the economic crisis continues to go global. The country of Iceland faces bankruptcy. Driven by the mortgage crisis, rising fuel costs, and consumer fears, many companies face a financially critical situation. For example, Motel 6, siting the rising energy costs, declared that it will no longer "leave the light on for you."  This is day two of my bachelor weekend, with "the war department" off for a few days in Tenessee. I fared very nicely yesterday. Youngest daughter volunteered to take the postman to Applebee's last night. Ordered me one of my favorite dinners: Chopped beef and french fries. Its pretty good if prepared correctly... and onions covering the steak (fancy hamburger) and a good gravy smothering the entire thing, both the french fries and the beef. its a rib stickin meal. With good company and good food, I ended the day quite contentedly: to be different. The war department asked me not to go on any long rides on the cycle while she was gone so she wouldn't worry. I agreed, provided I was allowed to do short trips. so instead of one long one today, I'm gonna take a short trip this morning, and then another short trip this afternoon hehe. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS stress http://www.thepostm wonderful day http://www.thepostm there it is http://www.thepostm thye bithes http://www.thepostm I never forgot http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES The Rat patrol http://www.thepostm 12 O' Clock high http://www.thepostm I am Canadian http://www.thepostm Internet porn http://www.thepostm A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists asthey banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time hehad a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dentin my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you50 cents to beat on the cans." The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. "Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, soI'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that beokay?" "A freakin' quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we'regoing to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, dude. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days. ____________ Three old guys are sitting on a porch in Miami. Suddenly the first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn't life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat ground or soft foods." The second answers, "Yeah, life is a real bummer. Why here I am at an age where I can buy the finest wines, champagne but what? Ulcers, I have to drink milk." The third sighs loudly and adds, "Gentlemen, I know exactly what you mean. Last night at 2 am I nudged my wife and asked her if she's interested. She screams at me, "What is wrong with you dear? We just got finished doing it for the second time tonight!" After a long pause the first man says, "So what is your problem?" The third one grunts and says, "Can't you see? My memory is going." ____________ The husband was perusing a detailed sex manual, and his wife asked him why. He replied that he was tired of being in the same old rut. "But I don't understand," she protested. "I thought we had a very good sex life." "Well," replied the husband, "let me put it to you another way." ____________ The Catholic priest in a small town had become very perturbed, and he decided to lay it on the line to the congregation. "Brothers, sisters," he said solemnly, "it has come to my attention that there are tales to the effect that immorality is rampant in our fair town. To be specific, it is being said that there is not one virgin left here. This vile lie must and shall be refuted. In order to do so, I ask every virgin in the congregation to rise." Not a woman stirred. The priest said, "I understand the modesty that would make a young lady hesitate to announce her condition publicly, but it is necessary to do so. Young women, I conjure those to rise who are truly virgins." And still not a woman stirred. Wrath now moved the priest. "Will you, for the fear of experiencing a small shame, incur a great one? This is an order from the Almighty: Let all virgins stand!" And as his thunderous tones died away, a young lady, far in the rear, with a baby in her arms, rose bashfully. The preacher stared with astonishment at the baby, then said, "Young woman, I'm asking the virgins to stand." And the young lady answered indignantly, "Well, father, do you expect this six-month-old girl to stand by herself...?" ____________ The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.' ____________ THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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