THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend,oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty. --John F. Kennedy  Get 6 FREE* Bags of the Original JELLY BELLY! They are your favorite, naturally-flavored, kidney-shaped confection - FREE*! Celebrate spring with 6 FREE* Bags of JELLY BELLY Jelly Beans. A hard candy shell, a gummy interior, and an assortment of 30 UNIQUE FLAVORS. The fun never ends! http://www.thepostm  Try CLOROX Bleach for COLORS for FREE*! Don't let harsh detergents dull your laundry. Keep your family's favorites looking newer for longer with CLOROX Bleach for COLORS. The powerful stain lifting action removes stubborn spots, spills and dingy build-up while enhancing colored fabrics. http://www.thepostm  PRINGLES 14-PACK - FREE*! If once you pop you can't stop, don't worry! Get a Value Size 14-Pack OF PRINGLES - FREE*! Barbeque, Ranch Rageous, Pizzalicious & more. Go ahead, pop the top on your favorite flavor http://www.thepostm FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF: THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! In the news today: Due to the current crisis on Wall Street, President Bush announced just a few hours ago that he's canceled a trip to Alabama. Bush said, "Under the circumstances, I didn't think it was right to leave the country." In other news: In other news today, prison advocacy groups are working to reform the death penalty law in California, saying that it is too harsh for a sentance.  On a more serious note, I went to the pulmonary specialist last Friday, finally. I'd had an appointment before, but cancelled it out of my own stubbornness. "The war department" intervened, however, and she dragged me in the other morning, kicking and screaming. Unfortunately, I am told that I have emphasema, along with a couple of other issues associated with COPD. Bottom line is the doc says I am only using about 30% of my lung capacity and his advice to me was to quit work immediately and file for disability. I am not telling you all this to feel sorry for me, but I do want you to know one thing. If you are a smoker, you really need to take every step you can to get rid of the ciggies before it is too late, I waited too long. You don't want to do that. trust me. Get patches, get pills go see your doctor, do all you can to break the habit. If you are looking for a crutch, or help, try signing up for the free nicorette gum samples listed below. Trust me, do all you can, or if you do not smoke, I'm sure you know someone who does, sign up for the gum for them. FREE NICORETTE GUM  QUIT SMOKING NOW with NEW NICORETTE FRUIT CHILL Gum! Knock the habit once & for all with NEW NICORETTE Fruit Chill Gum – The Stop Smoking Aid bursting with great taste! Get 100 Pieces of cool fruit flavor polacrilex coated gum & reduce withdrawal symptoms starting now. http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS snow angels in the spring http://www.thepostm an affair...its over http://www.thepostm better than a laundromat http://www.thepostm goodbye hon http://www.thepostm getting the right size http://www.thepostm intimate kisses http://www.thepostm Dad what is an idiot? http://www.thepostm worlds biggest dog http://www.thepostm motorcycle stunt http://www.thepostm eat yellow snow! http://www.thepostm the correct engagement ring http://www.thepostm farmers daughter http://www.thepostm worlds smallest dick contest http://www.thepostm good hunter-wav file http://www.thepostm Larry the cable guy-wav file http://www.thepostm A friend of mine was having a bit of marital tension in his household and was trying to figure out just what to do about it. In the course of our conversation, I happened to mention to him that: "You know, quite often God speaks to us through our wives." My friend looked at me kind of funny and said, "Wow! I didn't know God used that kind of language ____________ A property manager of single family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes! Ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ____________ A notorious womanizer left a trail of broken hearts behind him, until he betrayed the wrong woman-- a practicing witch. The morning after she caught him with another girl, he awoke with an itchy bump in the middle of his forehead. He thought it was a pimple, but it continued to grow to ridiculous proportions throughout the day. In a panic, he sought the advice of a physician, who examined the man and ran tests on the strange tissue. By now the bump was three inches long, and starting to take an oddly familiar shape. "What is this thing growing out of my head, Doctor?" "We've run every test we know to confirm the findings," he said gravely, "but they all tell us the same thing. The bump in your forehead is developing into a fully grown penis." "I can't believe this! Isn't there anything you can do?" "I'm afraid not. Removing it would kill you." "I'll be a freak! No woman will come near me!" "There's more," said the Doctor. "You're going to experience vision problems." "Will I go blind, Doc?" said the man. "No, you'll just have trouble seeing with testicles hanging in front of your eyes." ____________ A priest was taking a leak in the men's room, when he noticed that somebody had written on the wall, "My mother made me a homosexual." So he took out a pencil and wrote underneath it, "If I buy her the material, will she make me one too?" ____________ You might be a redneck if... You've ever purchased underwear and worn it out of the store. ...Two of your weddings made "America's Funniest Home Videos." ...You leave space in your wedding album "for next time." ...You had to hitch-hike on your honeymoon. ...You have a four-door car but only one door will open and close. ...The jury returns your "guilty" verdict without leaving the courtroom. ...It's impossible to pick up your key chain with just one hand. ...You need pliers to change channels on your TV. ...You've been restrained by bailiffs in small claims court Pumpkin Head http://www.buffalos Dancing Stone http://www.buffalos Man Reads 2 Papers In Bathroom http://tinyurl. |
*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
.
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment