Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Two weeks to Halloween Here are some costume suggestions.
Most Popular Halloween Costume For 2008
By [http://ezinearticle
Halloween is one of the best times of year to dress up. Most people
when looking for an idea of what to wear have two option. You can
either shop around at a store or online and search for a variety of
Halloween costumes or you can make your own. Whichever you decide to
do it is always fun to find out what is popular for this holiday
season.
Some of the popular costumes of all time are, Dracula, which comes
from the "Lord of the Vampires 1897". people also like to dress up as
a witch because it goes all the way back to Salem and the witch
trials. Witches and Halloween go together like bread and butter and
finding a great with outfit is one of the easiest costumes to find.
For the 2008 Halloween costume season some of the favorite costumes
will be Batman because the movie was a big hit this year there are
sure to be a variety of costumes that will be available. The Joker
outfit form the Dark Night Batman movie will also be a huge hit
because of the late Heath Ledger's performance.
Other popular hits will be Indiana Jones and Transformers mainly
because the movies came out this year and were also bit hits. There
seems that 2008 will also bring a big surge in retro costume. many of
these costumes are from the groovy 60's and hip 70's and there will
not be a shortage of ideas.
When choosing a Halloween costume make sure that if you are looking
for a certain character then you need to shop around and get the best
quality costume for the price.
Learn How To Get: [http://www.searchha
Perfect Halloween Costume
Find Great Information for: [http://www.searchha
Halloween Season
Bryan Burbank is an expert in the field of Halloween and Holidays.
Article Source: http://EzineArticle
http://EzineArticle
2008&id=1431144
buffalo says We always had two costumes planned. The first was for the
school party and was lightweight and quick to put on and the second
was
a mask and arctic wear for nighttime trick or treating but such is
life in
late Oct. when there was frequently patches of snow on the ground.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Gates Chips
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I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle. While in the
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replied, "F**k off, Gates, I'm in a meeting."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Sleazy
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Lighting Farts
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snow White Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prince Charming walks into a tavern appearing downtrodden.
Immediately, the bartender turns to him and asks why he's so glum.
"You wouldn't believe it," he replies. "I was walking through the
Enchanted Forest, when suddenly I approached Snow White fast asleep
on a bed of stone. The dwarf next to her tells me that she ate a
poisonous apple and could only be revived through a kiss from my very
lips.
I gave her a peck on the cheek. Nothing. So I give her a real deep
kiss while massaging her hair with my fingers. Nothing. Soon enough,
I'm making passionate love to her right there in the woods when
suddenly, she screams out, 'Ah, Yes, YES'!"
"That's great!" the bartender excitedly replies. "Then she's alive!"
Shrugging his shoulders Prince Charming says, "Nah. She faked it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Race Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told that
there was a fortune to be made in thoroughbred racing, he decided to
purchase a horse and enter it in the races. At the auction, however,
the going prices were so high that he ended up buying a donkey
instead.
He figured that since he had it, he might as well enter it in a race.
To his amazement, the donkey came in third! The following day, the
papers read:
PREACHER'S A*S*S
SHOWS
The preacher was so pleased that he entered the donkey in another
race. This time, the donkey won. The following day, the papers read:
PREACHER'S A*S*S OUT IN
FRONT
The bishop was upset by this kind of publicity. He ordered the
preacher to never again enter the donkey in a race. This time the
papers read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S
A*S*S
This was just too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to
get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in
the convent. The newspaper headlines read:
NUN HAS BEST A*S*S IN
TOWN
The bishop fainted when reading this, and upon recovering, ordered
the nun to dispose of the donkey. She sold it to a local farmer for
$10. The headlines read:
NUN PEDDLES A*S*S FOR TEN
DOLLARS
After reading this, they buried the bishop. The headlines
read:
TOO MUCH A*S*S KILLS
BISHOP
Gordon
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Doctor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally made it back to the doctor !
Good news and bad !
He measured me and said I was shrinking
- I told him I was much taller when I stand up!
He took my blood pressure
- he wasn't kidding, he never returned it !
He told me I needed to lose a bunch of weight
- I did ! (don't know where I left the wife)
He wanted me to do more sit ups -
I told him I could only do half of them.
He said that's fine
- now I only do the laying down part!
He wants me to drink more (8 glasses)
- I told him I usually pass out after four!
He said for me to eat more veggies
- are bar nuts a veggie ?
He said I needed to get more sun
- I told him I had no control over the bar's curtains!
He said I needed to walk more
- I moved to the third stool from the door!
He told me I was allergic to dust
- I promised never to do it again!
He told me that if I didn't quit smoking, I was going to die
- I quit (guess now, I'll live forever )!
He told me to get a new life
- I thought he said wife ( guess who showed back up)
I'll be in intensive care for a few more days,
but drinking beer through a straw isn't all that bad.
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the worst thing about growing unemployment?
A: It gets harder to screw your girlfriend with her husband home.
Jill: What's that book you're reading?
Mary: SEX AFTER FIFTY.
Jill: Is it good?
Mary: It's terrific! And the book's not bad either.
Jill: Oh! Where did you get it?
Mary: My friend Rick gave it to me.
Jill: He gave you SEX AFTER FIFTY?
Mary: Um-hmm, and before 50 too!
Mike picked up an attractive woman, named Linda, who flagged down his
car in a seedy part of town. As they rode, he asked her what she did
for a living.
Linda winked at Mike and said, "I'm a magician."
"No way," Mike scoffed. 'Prove it."
So Linda touched him on the thigh, and "Poof" Mike turned into a
hotel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Clone Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
BAD TASTE CLONING QUESTIONS
Are the pope and his clone both infallible? What if they disagree
about something?
Can you clone Alan Greenspan, or does it have to be LIVING tissue?
If Larry King clones himself and interviews himself on his show,
wouldn't that pretty much make nuclear war something we could all
look forward to?
If I have sex with my clone, will I go blind?
If the DNA from the bloody glove were cloned and produced a baby O.J.
Simpson, then could we maybe get an actual guilty verdict?
If Hare Krishnas start cloning themselves, how will the rest of us
find out?
If you cloned Henry IV, would he be Henry V or Henry IV Jr. or wait,
Henry IV part II?
If Michael Jackson is cloned, is it against the law for him to play
with himself as a child?
Would there be a market for genetic "factory seconds"
and "irregulars"
Could they clone Al Gore, or would he have to be grafted?
Is it possible to make a clone of Kate Moss and then attach the two
together to make a regular-sized person? Sure, she'd have two heads,
but that would still be way more normal.
Would it work if I binged and my clone purged?
Would it be ethical to dig up the remains of our founding fathers,
create clones from the bone cells, and place them in a theme park
called Clonial Williamsburg?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Music In My Soul
http://www.silveran
THE SPLENDOR OF THE CROSS
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Tricks For Treats 2
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Surfin Surfari
Daily Crosswords Via Dianne
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Halloween Candy Quiz
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Ghost Photographs
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WestNet's Halloween Page
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Animal World
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Movies
Alarm Orgasmique
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Brownie
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Concert
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Hospital
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Plane Ride
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How I quit Smoking
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How Low can you go
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How NOT to work out
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How to shoot a bow
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How to stack Tires
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clone Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I have sex with my clone, will I go blind? (Sandy Sibert)
If I have sex with my clone, is that incest, homosexuality or
masturbation? (Stan Kegel)
Oh, give me a clone
Of my own flesh and bone
With its Y-chromosome changed to X
And when it is grown
Then my own little clone
Will be of the opposite sex.
[Chorus]:
Clone, clone of my own,
With your Y-chromosome changed to X
And when I'm alone
With my own little clone
We will both think of nothing but sex.
Oh, give me a clone
is my sorrowful moan,
A clone that is wholly my own.
And if she's an X
Of the feminine sex
Oh, what fun we will have when we're prone.
[Chorus]
My heart's not of stone,
As I've frequently shown,
When alone with my own little X
And after we've dined
I am sure we will find
Better incest than Oedipus Rex.
[Chorus]
Why should such sex vex
Or disturb or perplex
Or induce a disparaging tone.
After all, don't you see
Since we're both of us me
When we're having sex, I'm alone.
[Chorus]
And after I'm done,
She will still have her fun,
For I'll clone myself twice ere I die.
And this time without fail,
They'll be both of them male,
And they'll each ravage her by and by.
[Chorus]
(By Randall Garrett and Isaac Asimov)
Via Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sweaty
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I'm Just Hoping
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First Pregnancy
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He Wishes
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Young Ben
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The old perfesser comes in the trailer laughing, and MrsPerfesser
wants to know why.
"Oh, I heard a limerick over at the Piggly Wiggly today," said the
old perfesser. "It's about the funniest dang thing I've ever heard."
MrsPerfesser says, "Well, I like a good laugh too. Let's hear it."
The old perfesser, taken aback, says, "Oh, I can't tell you the
limerick, it's far too dirty. You don't like dirty words."
"It's okay," MrsPerfesser says. "Just replace all the dirtiest words
with 'bleep' when you say it."
"Are you sure?" the old perfesser asks. "It's pretty dirty."
"As long as you replace the worst bits with 'bleep,' I can handle
it," MrsPerfesser says.
"Okay," says the old perfesser, "here goes:
Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep,
Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep,
Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep,
Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep,
Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep fuck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you tell if you're in a redneck Amish neighborhood?
By the dead horses on cinderblocks in the front yard.
What's this?..."Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip
clop clip clop clip clop clip clop. An Amish drive-through shooting.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
What light bulb?
What are Amish porno movies like?
About 90 minutes of bare ankles!
What do Amish gangs do for revenge?
A drive-by shunning!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up to
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barack Obama's airplane had to make an unscheduled stop because of
mechanical problems. While the pilot was steering to the left, the
plane was apparently drifting to the right.
----
Near Fredericksburg, Texas where there is a large German-speaking
population. A farmer walking down a country road notices a man
drinking from his pond with his hand.
The Farmer shouted, "Trim dax wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin
gesheissen." (Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have
shit in it.)
The man shouted back, "I'm from Illinois and just down here
campaigning for Obama, so I can't understand you. Please speak in
English."
The farmer replied, "Use two hands, you'll get more."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
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The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
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With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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