THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Take gaming and home entertainment to the next level with a FREE* PlayStation(  CHEERIOS - FREE* SAMPLE! It's the Cheerio Challenge! Vote for your favorite flavor Cheerios and get 2 BOXES FREE*. http://www.thepostm  FREE* WENDY'S $50 GIFT CARD! At WENDY'S we always get MORE for our money. Now you can get more too! MORE taste, MORE options, MORE service & MORE satisfaction. Get MORE burger for your buck with your FREE* $50 WENDY'S Gift Card! http://www.thepostm FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF THE POSTMAN'S CORNER The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Air Force fatigues and stuck a patch that I had downloaded off the Internet onto the front of my shirt. When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.  It also works well if you ever have to use a Laundromat ============ A New Jersey man claims penis-enlargement pills he bought didn't work, and he's filing a multi-million dollar lawsuit. The manufacturer is shocked... not because it believes in the pill, but because it thought it was safe to assume that no man in the world would be willing to tell everyone he has a small dick. ============ "Barbra Streisand is performing at an Obama fundraiser. It's $25,000 a seat. But for $50,000, you don't have to go." -- Craig Ferguson ============ We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS don't just stand there http://www.thepostm captain of the ship http://www.thepostm a new use for the microwave http://www.thepostm shooting the bull http://www.thepostm doctors visit http://www.thepostm the evidence suggests http://www.thepostm we got a problem http://www.thepostm hello, Houston? http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES pole vault http://www.thepostm Little Bill O'Reilly http://www.thepostm invisible skateboarding http://www.thepostm van of illegals http://www.thepostm lightning strikes telephone pole http://www.thepostm POWER POINT DISPLAYS a frightening knock knock joke http://www.thepostm pumpkin heads http://www.thepostm A few nights ago, a few friends and I were in a bar telling all the Polish jokes we knew. Boy, what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, "Hey pal, I'm Polish and I don't like you telling all those Polish jokes!" So I said, "Well, they're not against you, pal, just against anyone in Poland." "My mother is in Poland!" he screams, and pulls out a razor. Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to plug it in! ____________ A woman goes shoe-shopping one day. As the salesman is helping her try on shoes, he notices she is not wearing panties. He looks at the woman and says, "Man, I'd love to fill that with ice cream and eat it!" The woman slaps the man and runs home to tell her husband. The husband acts disinterested and his wife gets angry and asks, "Aren't you going to do anything!?" The husband replies, "First of all, you have too many shoes as it is. Second, you shouldn't be out shopping without panties. And third of all, I'm not going to mess with anyone who can eat that much ice cream!" ____________ Cinderella is sitting home, crying. A fairy flies by and hears the crying, so he decides to check it out.He goes in and asks Cinderella: "Why are you crying?" "Others are at the ball, but I can't go there!" "Why?" "I'm having my period." "Others have periods too, but they are at the ball?" "Yes, but I don't have a tampon!" So the fairy gives Cinderella a golden tampon, packed in a silver box. Even Cinderella's mother doesn't have so beautiful tampons. So Cinderella goes to the ball. Later that night, past midnight, Cinderella comes home, her legs spread wide open, like she has given birth to five babies. The same fairy happens to see her and asks, "What happened?" "You didn't tell me that when it's midnight it will turn into a pumpkin!" ____________ George had been a compulsive worrier for years until he found a way to overcome this problem. His friends noticed the dramatic change."You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore.""I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week," George replied. "I haven't had a single problem since.""A thousand a week?" said his friend. "How the hell are you going to pay him?" "Hell, that's his problem." BUFFALO BILL Gopher Hole http://www.buffalos I'm a Mad Cow http://tinyurl. Retards http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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