Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
A few days ago I mentioned a man who got busted at his wedding
impersonating a Navy Captain well someone had to do him one
better and impersonate an admiral. At least this one had done
some time in the Navy. I am wondering though how does a
person going about finding an admiral's uniform. With the exception
of a costume shop, they must be rather expensive and I know a
uniform shop is going to ask a few questions.
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A Middletown, Del., man has pleaded guilty to
impersonating a Navy rear admiral.
Attendees at a public ceremony last year in Falls Church, Va., became
suspicious about one of the speakers, Trung Huan Nguyen. He was
wearing an admiral's uniform and military decorations, and spoke in
commemoration of Republic of Vietnam Armed Forces Day.
Although Nguyen did serve in the Navy, authorities said he was an
enlisted man and was honorably discharged 13 years ago. Prosecutors
said Nguyen kept a profile on military.com that claimed he was
commissioned as a medical doctor and claimed to be a veteran of
conflicts in Afghanistan, Kosovo and Iraq.
Defense attorney David Hubbard said his client never got over the
disappointment of not realizing his dream to become an officer.
For a long time I have worried that just my mention of one of
my favorite teams in here destined it to failure but MSU's
win over Northwestern today seems to have broken that curse..
They may not be headed for the Rose Bowl as Michigan, Ohio
State, and Penn State lie ahead but they will be headed for a
Bowl Game somewhere which is more than what the Lions
will be doing this year.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SmokeAway!
Try Smoke Away FREE!
See why Smoke Away is America's #1 stop smoking kit
For a limited time we will send you a full month supply of Smoke Away
for FREE! All we ask is that you pay for S&H.
Try It for Free!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Name Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A truck driver was driving along when he notices this female
hitchhicker
so he slams on the brakes and picks her up. They go through the
pleasantries of meeting one another and then the truck driver asks if
she would give up a little something for the ride. She says, "Okay,
but
what are we going to name the baby?" This scares the trucker so he
lets
her off and goes on his way.
A few days later he sees another female hitchhicker and picks her up
also. He gets to know her and again he asks if she would give up a
little something for the ride. She says, " Okay, but what are we going
to name the baby?" He thinks for a little while and then says, "Will
think of something when we are done."
They have sex a couple of times and then sit back to enjoy a cigarette
when the girl asks, "So what are we going to name the baby?" He says,
"Oh! Thanks for reminding me!" He reaches down and removes a condom,
ties a knot in it, and throws it out of the window. He looks over at
her
and says, " If it gets out of that we'll name it Houdini!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Food sculpture
http://able2laff.
Welcome to A O HELL
http://able2laugh.
We need a room for this?
http://able2laff.
Fishing With
Moses http://www.buffalos
http://www.buffalos
Here!</a>
Surfing http://www.buffalos
<a href="
http://www.buffalos
Mechanics http://www.buffalos
<a href="
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bathroom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girls You Might See in the Restroom
SELFISH GIRL: Enters alone and locks the door, saying to the girls
following that she will be out in a minute. Leisurely pees. Remarks,
adjusts clothes and poses before mirror keeping others squirming
outside for an hour.
TIMID GIRL: Turns on faucet full force. Backs up to toilet, raises
dress and squats quickly. Listens intently to learn if sound other
than faucet can be heard.
CONCEITED GIRL: Approaches toilet with undulating movements. Raises
dress by finger tips. Expression while peeing indicates such a lovely
creature should not be compelled to attend to such lowly duties.
Farts silently and disdainfully.
HARDY GIRL: Raises dress with a whoop. Scuttles across the floor
beating other occupant to toilet. Squats with great force, rattling
windows and causing breasts to bob up and down, hums lively tune,
peeing in squirts to keep time, farts loudly and with great glee.
DRUNKEN GIRL: Wobbles to toilet. After several attempts manages to
raise dress. Squats on toilet with shrieks of laughter. Pees for a
while, singing happy songs, suddenly starts to sob broken heartedly
as she realizes that she forgot to pull down her panties. Continues
peeing and sobbing.
SLOPPY GIRL: Slip drops into toilet while squatting, never uses
toilet paper. Drags her business across the seat, getting seat wet.
Never flushes toilet. Emerges with back of skirt caught in her
panties.
WORRIED GIRL: Squats thoughtfully, counting days overdue on fingers.
Uses toilet paper and examines it carefully and hopefully. Peers into
toilet before flushing, resolving never to go to bed drunk again.
THE I DON'T CARE GIRL: Just squats and fires away.
STUBBORN GIRL: Believes all public places are contaminated. Stands
three feet in front of toilet, backs up, takes careful aim and fires
away, always misses, but will try again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Travel this Thanksgiving with your Cabin Cuddler.
Try the world's only 6 in 1 travel blanket! The Cabin Cuddler is
a lightweight travel blanket with a foot pocket and shoulder wrap
that keeps you warm in cold airplane cabins, on car trips, or
even curled up at home.
Special holiday offer. Buy 3 Cabin Cuddlers and get a 4th free.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Costume Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One year at Halloween the governor of Illinois
was giving a costume
party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman
would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie Mouse".
As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane"
and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of
underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.
"Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman. Having ascertained
that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS
department. The doorman asked "How shall I announce you?"
The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation"
"I'm very sorry sir" said the doorman in obvious shock I cannot
announce anything like that to such a gathering.
"O.K." said the professor. "Just say I came in my pants"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
AS SEEN ON TV - Japanese Detox Foot Pads Promotes:
= > Increased energy and vitality
= > Reduced stress and anxiety
= > Improved immunity system AND MUCH MORE!
This is the hottest health product in Asia. Now, you can purchase
this amazing product in the US under the brand name DetoxQuest Foot
Patch. DetoxQuest Foot Patch is an all natural patch that amazingly
extracts heavy metals and other forms of toxins from your system
while you sleep. It took Japanese scientists over 24 years to
develop this technology.
Many underlying health problems are due to toxins in your body caused
by toxic chemicals that ALL of us eat, drink and breathe everyday of
our lives! Our detox foot patches are made of premium ingredients and
are very simple to use. Just apply one pad one each foot at night.
Leave on overnight and see the results for yourself!
Despite the product name, these patches can be put on most any place
on your body except your eyes, mucous membranes, open wounds, etc.
But, they can be placed on the abdomen, back, shoulders, and legs.
Wherever you believe you need the most support.
Now, You Can Try Them FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Light Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young boy & a young girl are playing in a sunny field alone. After a
while they both are very hot so after much discussion they take off
their shirts ... that helps alot and they continue playing. At some
time later the boy asks the girl "What are those things?" (pointing
to her
breasts) she says"they are my headlights ... look you have them too
but they are kinda smaller" so they continue playing. Later, the boy
has a bee fly up his pant leg so he hurriedly removes his pants. The
young girl asks (pointing at his penis)" What is that?" He
replies "Why that's my plug, don't you have a plug ?" (It's beginning
to get dark by now) She says "No - I have this." (She removes her
pants) Boy says "I can't see too well but it looks like you have a
socket. Hey, I have a idea .... If I stick my plug into your socket
it will make our headlights light up !!!! "
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wanted: People with Access to a Computer & Internet
Connection who have 10-15 hours a week available to
work at home writing articles on the internet.
Lucrative pay rate & bonuses available...
Click the link Below to see if you qualify:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Osama Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
OSAMA BIN LADEN'S LIST OF TRAVEL DEMANDS
- One 30-pack of Milwaukee's Best beer and a jug of Mountain Dew Code
Red
- A 64-inch, high-definition, flat-panel plasma television tuned to
Al-Jazeera
- Two packs of Camel non-filtered cigarettes
- A half-pound of fois gras pate and a box of Ritz crackers
- Two unopened bags of Sta-Puff marshmallows
- Five tins of Dinty Moore beef stew
- A half-dozen nubile virgins
- A bag of opium
- An organic buckwheat pillow
- Three unopened canisters of VX nerve gas
- A suitcase containing $50,000 in unmarked U.S. $100 bills
- A Baxter 1550 kidney dialysis machine and six chilled pints of type
O blood
- A Gideon Koran in the top drawer of his nightstand
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not only will you strengthen and reshape your abs on the Ab Rocket,
you will be able to tone and tighten your entire body.
Your neck and back will be fully supported on the unique rollers of
the
Ab Rocket which will massage your entire neck and back while you work
out.
So you will look good and feel great.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poosay Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went to a French restaurant. The menu was in French and he
spoke no French. When the waiter asked his choice, he told the waiter
to bring out the restaurant's specialty.
The man had a truly fantastic meal.
The waiter asked if the man wanted dessert. He responded that the
waiter should bring out the restaurant's specialty.
The waiter that it was the peach poosay, and he would order it for
him.
A short time later, a waitress came out with a covered silver
platter. She took the cover off and there was a peach that had been
quartered and pitted.
The waitress proceeded to raise her skirt and take a piece of the
peach and push it in and out of her vagina!
She then picked up the rest of the pieces and did the same thing with
them.
The man called the waiter over an asked, "Am I actually expected to
eat the peach after that?"
The waiter responded, "Why, no, Monsieur. You eat the poosay."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bloom Perfect is the world's fastest growing flower seed.
The seeds are mixed in mulch then wrapped in a nutrient fortified
cocoon that surrounds the seed and are specially formulated to
attract butterflies and hummingbirds. Now you can enjoy abundant,
beautiful flowers all season long.
Order here:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
From Melva and Carol
http://silverandgol
THE THREE NAILS
http://www.wtv-
Melva/Childhood Home
http://www.silveran
Holy Alphabet
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
regular dating site full of people that don't know what they want.
Our singles know EXACTLY what they want!
If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
membership to the best ADULT DATING SITE around! All of the members
of this dating community want to meet up with new people for one
intimate and fun encounters! You have to check it out!
Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT want
to date beautiful singles in your city for intimate encounters then
do not accept this membership that we want to give you for no cost.
If you DO want to have a LOT of fun with singles that are awesome to
look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take
advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.
Press here to join for NO COST:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Cell Phone Facts," FDA/FCC,
http://www.fda.
Abby's Halloween Recipes
http://www.abbys-
Halloween Yard Haunter
http://www.yardhaun
Grave Addiction - Photos of Cemeteries and Haunted Places
http://www.graveadd
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC or
laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Halloween Graphics
http://www.holidayg
Chaos Halloween Graphics
http://www.chaosdes
ScaryStuff
http://www.cavernso
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell
wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I've to
decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training System so I
can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right
way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.dogbreed
Kitty Korner
http://www.catster.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to
win a seat and play in our upcoming World Series of Poker*.
There is no cost involved for you to play: You DO NOT need to deposit
any money or give a credit card number to play...BUT YOU CAN WIN
CASH!
Don't miss this chance!
Press here to Start Playing Today!
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch! And
new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Short Dip
http://www.buffalos
Singing Monkey
http://www.buffalos
Sir Edmund
http://www.buffalos
Smoke Inhalation
http://www.buffalos
Sneeze Aivastus
http://www.buffalos
Jump
http://www.buffalos
Kayak
http://www.buffalos
Kidnap
http://www.buffalos
Kitchen Oil Fire
http://www.buffalos
Loafing
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Library Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Librarian
"Do you have any books on how to get organized?"
"Probably, but I have no idea where they are."
"Do you have any books on deafness?"
"What?"
"Do you have any books on nepotism?"
"Ask my husband; he's the head librarian."
"Do you have any books on apathy?"
"I don't know and I don't care."
"Do you have any books on De Sade?"
"Beats me."
"Do you have any books on goat breeding?"
"Are you kidding?"
"Do you have any books on building self-esteem?
"Not for stupid, ugly people like you!"
"Do you have any books on phobias?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Do you have any books on psychiatry?"
"What do you think?"
"Yes, they're on the shelf over there."
"Do you have any books on ESP?"
"Do you have any books on Chinese shipping?"
"Oh, no; we don't handle that junk."
"Do you have any books on procrastination?
"No, we haven't gotten around to ordering them yet."
"Do you have any books on the Navy?"
"Yes, 'Over There,' with the the blue jackets,"
"Do you have any books on orgasms?"
"Yes, come with me."
"Do you have any books on electricity?
"Watt we have is not current, but might shed some light on the
subject. Wire you asking?"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Awesome Auger takes the hard work out of yard work.
Its patented spiral design with laser sharp edge, gives you the
muscle to blast through hard rock and clay, or cut through the
thickest roots, and easily power out rocks and stubborn stumps.
It also works great for digging post holes, removing weeds and
dandelions or planting trees, shrubs, and bushes.
With Bonus Recargeable Drill
Additional Ordering Detail:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
a little oil please
http://www.thepostm
all you care about
http://www.thepostm
911
http://www.thepostm
Strictly No Parking
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Ever Get The Feeling Your Fucked
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Packaging
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your darling daughter brings you countless joys. Now The Bradford
Exchange is
delighted to offer you 20 special ways to tell her how much she means
to you -
all in one Ultimate Daughter Charm Bracelet gift! 20 different charms
plated
in sterling silver, with 24K gold-plated accents and genuine
Swarovski(R)
crystals. 9 charms with loving inscriptions. Arrives in a custom-
designed
presentation case. EXCLUSIVE! Quantities are limited and strong
demand is
expected, so DON'T WAIT. Click this link now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.
____________
There was a young lady from Maine
Who claimed she had men on her brain.
But you knew from the view,
As her abdomen grew,
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.
____________
There was a young girl who begat
Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat.
T'was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding
When she found there's no tit for Tat.
____________
There once was a brave Indian
Who, seeing a church, walked right in
On seeing the pews
He slipped off his shoes
So people would not mock 'is sin
(Gary Hallock)
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PETZOOM - The all-new self-cleaning pain-free quick and
easy way to groom your pet.
Be the owner every Pet wants.
Hate grooming your pet with a wire brush, tugging, pulling and
making a mess all over the floor? Then you need PetZoom, the new self-
cleaning, pain-free way to groom your pet right at home.
PETZOOM :
Professional Results
Adjustable Bristle Length
Soft, Massaging Tips
Brush Cleans Itself
Easily Attracts Hair, Dirt and Dander
Order Today
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Manual For Computer Experts
1. Be user friendly.
2. Take bytes.
3. Fondle joystick.
4. Spread sheet.
5. Fix surge protector.
6. Activate hardware.
7. Insert disc, all the way.
8. Do it until megabytes.
9. Back it up.
10 Eject floppy.
Hannie Teekens
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was during the gold rush in the Yukon Territory. Harry Alexander
packed a bag, grabbed his Bible, and started out of the tent he
shared with Gary Thorndike. Gary asked, "Where are you going?"
"I'm heading into Fort Dawson. I hear it's the wildest town
anybody's ever seen. There's booze you could take a bath in,
gambling, and women who'll drive you crazy with their favors."
"Why are you taking your Bible?" "Well, if it's as good as
they say, I'm planning to stay over Sunday!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up to
30 bills on one side and up to six credit cards on the other.
Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
how much or what the abuse, you'll have a lifetime of use,
guaranteed.
It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1440
The Classics
The dogs had just finished watching Robin Hood..
Tami was just getting out of her car after getting off from work.
Katie: Hold fair maiden!
Tami: Say what?
Rudy: Yeah, you heard right fair woman.
Tami: What is with the outfits?
Rudy: I am Littlejohn.
Katie: You may address me as Robin Hood.
Tami: Oh and call me Princess Ohurha.
Sandi: Call me Friar Tuck.
Tami: So what do you want you little heathens?
Katie: We are here to rob from the rich and give to the poor.
Tami: Let me guess who the poor is....you guys?
Rudy: Gee, you are smart Tami.
Tami: I will have to get Rob, he is my Sheriff of Nottingham.
Rudy: Err-ah, nevermind, we will head back to the house.
Sandi: Peace be unto you sister Tami.
Katie: May the arrows of peace pierce your behind.
Tami: I think that is good but I am not sure.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment