THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Which candidate will be a better president? Would you rather choose John McCain or Barack Obama? Tell us. for a FREE $250 Visa(R) Gift Card. http://www.thepostm  There are lots of ways to make money online - but most of them require a big investment of either time and/or money... and that just doesn't work so well for most people.That' more about Project Payday. It doesn't have any of these problems  Congratulations! You have been chosen to receive a FREE $500 Restaurant Critic Gift Card! http://www.thepostm  It's time to get a FREE Samsung Washer now! You only need to fill out a yes/no short survey to claim FREE Samsung Washer. http://www.thepostm I got an angel in my mail box to brighten my day! I'm sending him on to you... I DON'T WANT HIM!  The war department has left to go out of town for the weekend and I am left on my own. Batching it is an ok thing because the weather is supposed to be nice and warm...perfect for motorcycle riding. I think I'll ask my next door neighbor out for a date....she'  what do you think? HEHE We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS F.U. devious cat http://www.thepostm politicians http://www.thepostm what can you do with 20 minutes http://www.thepostm drink and drive http://www.thepostm dream girls http://www.thepostm don't drop it http://www.thepostm TNT PLAYROOMZ RECIPEEZ Do you spend hours and hoursin the kitchen only to hear.... Ughhhhhh Meatloaf...again! Family is getting skinnier while the dog is getting awful fat!!!???? The you need to join us for some great food and thirst-quenching drinks that will keep them coming back for more!!!!! Something to satisfy everyones tastebuds!!!
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that he may be drinking a bit too much and it seems like it may be getting in the way of his work and effecting some of his relationships. His friends are concerned that he may need to seek help. He took their feelings to heart and joined AA. At the end of a year of dedication he is clean and sober and gets his "pin" showing his progress (of one year being clean and sober). He then thinks, he has wanted to stop smoking for awhile, could he use the same principles he used in AA to stop smoking? He sets himself on the path and does so. By the second year when he gets his pin from AA, he is tobacco free, and has a small dinner party to celebrate the fact. When he gets together with his friends, they are amazed at what good health he is in, and amazed that he is not only alcohol free but also tobacco free. They applaud his dedication. About a year later he has another dinner party and announces to all his friends that he is "no longer gay." His straight friends as well as his gay friends are totally amazed at this. No one believes he has managed to change so much in is life. "Did you do the same things you did to stop drinking and smoking?" many asked. "Was it just a choice of lifestyle change?" others asked. "Was it some type of religious revelation?" was even asked. "No, nothing so drastic" he replied. "Its just when I quit smoking I found everything tasted different." ____________ One morning, this gay man woke up from a wonderful dream, only to hear his partner in the bathroom making grunting and moaning sounds. The gay man got out of bed, walked down the hall and opened the bathroom door. The gay man looked at his partner, masturbating with a condom on. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked his partner. The gay man's partner looked up at him sheepishly, "Oh, I was just packing your lunch!" ____________ Two Scousers (from Liverpool) riding along the East Lancs Road on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave. "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it . He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the bastards have managed to nick a motorbike already". ____________ An illegal alien picks up a hooker. 'Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?' he asks. '$100,' she replies. In broken English he says 'Do you do Immigrant Style?' 'No' she says. 'How about $200 to do Immigrant Style.' 'No', she says, not knowing what Immigrant Style is. 'How about $300?' 'No', she says. 'How about $400?' 'No', she says. So finally he says, 'OK, how about $1,000 to do Immigrant Style.' She thinks, 'Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could Immigrant Style be?''? So she agrees and has sex with him. They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several hours, they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, 'Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So what exactly is 'Immigrant Style'?' The illegal alien replies 'You send bill to Government.' ____________ Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a used car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he figured he could use the old sales pitch that the car was *like brand-new* and had only been driven by a little old lady on Sundays. He tried that approach on every prospective buyer but none seemed to believe him and no sales were made that day. His boss was furious and threatened to fire Bill if he didn't sell any cars the following day. The following day he decided to change his sales pitch and sure enough he sold three cars.The manager of the used car dealership called him over and asked what he had done to bring about all these sales. Bill grinned, "Well they didn't believe my little old lady story, so I told them that the car had previously been owned by your daughter who only used the backseat." ____________ After the speech in Berlin , Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to give up his hopes to be president, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Obama, and told him to drink it all. Obama drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullshit!' The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.' ____________ PAPA THORN BUFFALO BILL Dogs Anonymous http://buffalosjoke House Restaurant http://buffalosjoke FUN PAGES from Lorraine Millionaire Shoplifter http://tinyurl. You're Not Ugly Beautiful http://tinyurl. Pigs in Lipstick http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman! |
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