THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost part of your life. --Michael Leboeuf  get paid to: In box dollars read emails take surveys try products play games http://www.thepostm  do you shop at kmart? answer to receive a free gift card! http://www.thepostm  FREE SAMPLE Mr. Clean magic eraser duo The new two sided eraser has special fabrics and formulas for all your family's different types of messes Get your free sample now. http://www.thepostm This year be sure to celebrate Halloween responsibly. A public service announcement from The Postman's Corner  We do hope you enjoy today's issue Cordially Martin aka the postman The Comics one of those days http://www.thepostm light at the end of the tunnel http://www.thepostm a wrong number http://www.thepostm an office problem http://www.thepostm you're my love http://www.thepostm checking it out http://www.thepostm last chance http://www.thepostm static cling http://www.thepostm hallow window http://www.thepostm love and marriage http://www.thepostm  Things You Really Shouldn't Say During Sex Is it in yet? (phone rings) Hello? Oh, nothing, and you? Do I have to pay for this? You look better in the dark. I think that goes in the other hole... Hey! My mom has that same bra... I hope you don't expect a raise for this... Hurry up, the game is about to start. ZzZzZz ____________ Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law' to make her think she's welcome." ____________ The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner. ____________ A married man was visiting his mistress one day, when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James," she pleaded, "I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome, clean-shaven face." James quickly replied, "My wife loves this beard, Jocelyn. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!" "Oh, please?" Jocelyn asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Oh really, I can't," he replied. "She loves it ... I just can't!" But Jocelyn was seductively persistent, and he sighed and finally gave in. That night, a worried James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife woke up and sleepily felt his face. Suddenly she was wide awake and sitting bolt upright in the bed. She said tersely, "Jesus Christ, Michael! What the hell are you doing here? My husband will be home any minute!" ____________ fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, 'Where did you get that truck???!!!' He calmly told them, 'I bought it today.' 'With what money?' demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. 'Well, ' said the boy, 'this one cost me just fifteen dollars.' So the parents began to yell even louder. 'Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?' they said. 'It was the lady up the street,' said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.' 'Oh my Goodness!,' moaned the mother, 'she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on.' So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it. 'Well,' she said, 'this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a Business Trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did.' ____________ NURSERY RHYMES Mary had a little lamb Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her Between two chunks of bread. Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pie man 'What have you got there?' Said the pie man unto Simon 'Pies you dummy!' Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse And turned its wool to nylon. Georgie Porgie Pudding 'n Pie Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play He kissed them too cause he was gay. FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE Tree Man Who Grew Roots http://tinyurl. I Look Like My Dog http://tinyurl. The Greatest Escape http://tinyurl. Shit Happens http://www.buffalos That's all folks Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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