THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Life's blows cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed at the fire of enthusiasm. ~N.V. Peale  Remedy life Free samples Health and wellness Free membership FREE samples http://www.thepostm  Do you love to eat? Then choose between a Chili's(R) or TGI Fridays(R) $500 Gift Card and Spoil yourself http://www.thepostm  NEW! Milk Chocolate Covered OREO - Get 3 Boxes for FREE*! It's your favorite sandwich cookie decadently wrapped in pure milk chocolate. OREO has never been as luxurious as it is now, draped in the richest, purest, milk chocolate. Taste the fortune. Sign up now to receive your 3 Boxes, FREE*! http://www.thepostm  NEW! MITCHUM SMART SOLID Men's Antiperspirant & Deodorant, FREE*! For the Man on the Move Get MITCHUM SMART SOLID. NEW! MITCHUM Smart Solid Men's Antiperspirant & Deodorant is designed for the man on the move. Whether you're walking the dog, working out at the gym, or running the kids to practice, MITCHUM Smart Solid formula keeps you fresh & dry during any activity - and always free from from the sticky white residue other solid deodorandts leave behind. http://www.thepostm Have you asked yourself lately, "What is wrong with our country?" Is it the faltering mortgage industry? nope. Is it our failing banks? Nope. The rising cost of fuel? Nope, nope, and nope!!! You want to really know whats wrong with our country? This is the host of an Italian talk show.  This is the host of an American talk show.  Where did this country go wrong? We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman The Comics lovely http://www.thepostm great balls of fire http://www.thepostm the dog diet http://www.thepostm dog advice- http://www.thepostm Maxine http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES smoking can be hazardous to your health http://www.thepostm cigarette trick http://www.thepostm why grandma shouldn't skydive http://www.thepostm Jerry Springer http://www.thepostm feeling at home http://www.thepostm wet back english http://www.thepostm A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day. The company's massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other. All of a sudden, the machine stopped and ground to a halt. Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it started again. The plant's manager stormed out of his office to find out why his multi-million- him any money. He listened to his people saying they couldn't figure it out, and he told them to call a technician. Soon a tech arrived, and the manager frantically explained to him that he needed his machine back as soon as possible. The technician listened patiently, took one look at the massive hulk of motionless metal, and immediately walked over to a small panel, opening a tiny door inside to see a screw. The technician took a screwdriver and turned the screw one-quarter turn to the right, and the machine suddenly came back to life as if nothing was wrong.The manager hurried over to thank the technician, shook his hand, and asked what he owed him for saving his company. The technician answered, "$100,000.00. "You were here less then two minutes and just turned one screw. How can you charge so much? Give me an itemized bill." The technician calmly wrote out on a piece of paper: Turning of one screw: $1.00. Knowing which screw to turn: $99,999.00. ____________ Jill brings her friend Betty home unexpectedly with her from shopping one day. They come upstairs to find her husband there and he is in bed screwing with another woman.Betty is horrified but Jill turns calmly away from the doorway and says to Betty, "Let's go downstairs and have a cup of coffee." Stunned, Betty numbly agrees, so they sit around the kitchen for the longest time, until finally Betty can't stand it anymore. "Good God, Jill," she blurts out, "what about that woman he is screwing upstairs?" "Screw her," says Jill. "Let the bitch make her own fucking coffee!" ____________ Lola, a saleswoman for a major condom company was required to travel cross-country to meet a prospective buyer. Her boss asked her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her.As she was running late for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into her briefcase. The cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic and she had just enough time to throw her ticket at the counter and run onto the plane. As she jumped into the airplane, she dropped her briefcase and all the condoms flew out all over the floor in front of all the passengers and crew. They all stared amazed at the display and then looked at Lola, who said sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client." ____________ Just as he pulled his delivery van away from the flower shop, the manager ran out. There was a cancellation on one of the orders, so he needed it back. "Which one?" he asked. "The one that reads "Susan, I'll love you forever. Bob." ____________ Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives. The first said, "I think my husband's like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."The second woman said, "My husband's like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps." The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband." She thought for a moment and said, "My husband's like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler. "How so?" "He's got his time down to under 40 seconds." ____________ Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the warden had given the formal speech, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love Celine Dion. Could you please play her latest CD for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden. He then turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first." ____________ A girl says to her date, "You're in for a real treat. I've been told that I have a body like New Jersey." So, her date grabs her waist and asks, "What's this?" She replies "Middlesex." He grabs her butt and asks "what's this?" She replies," Freehold." Then he grabs her breast and asks "what's this?" She replies," Point Pleasant." Finally, he reaches between her thighs and says, "I guess this is Cherry Hill?" "No," she replies, "That's Eatontown." The guy gets so excited that he pulls down his pants and says, "Welcome to Wildwood!" BUFFALO BILL Know Your Foods http://www.buffalos Meaty Myths http://www.buffalos Things You Can Do With A Useless Man... http://www.ezines4a Safety Warning http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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